Revised: September 28th, 2013.

-o-O-o-

Fridays in December

-o-O-o-

January 1st – Saturday

All this time, I always identified every birthday as a happy occasion where everybody would cheer for me and have a fun party until we were bushed. They wouldn't leave until they gave me their presents. Their gifts were varied, from common things like clothes to queer stuff such as scary dolls. Nevertheless, all of them made me happy. Just by making pleasant memories on my birthday was also good enough as a present.

But the first gift I received when I turned eighteen was unexpected. Not even wanted.

'Happy birthday… Mikan…'

Those three words were the only gift I got from him. After saying them, he disappeared, leaving me dissatisfied.

Unhappy.

That was the worst present ever, I concluded.

"Your eyes are red," Sumire pointed out, staring at me from the other end of the couch. After spending quality time with her family to celebrate New Year, she immediately dashed to my house to attend my humble birthday party, like she usually did every year. What a great childhood friend she was.

"Are they?" I asked stupidly, though I was very conscious of my swollen eyes due to my uncontrollable weeping this early morning.

"Uh-huh." Sumire nodded, her chin propped on her hands. "Lack of sleep?"

"I don't think so."

She lifted an eyebrow. "Then?"

I fell silent, my mind drifting back to the recent heartbreaking event.

After crying myself to sleep and waking up with swollen eyes in the morning, I found myself lying on my comfy bed, my brother watching me from the chair near my study desk. As a caring brother, he asked me why I cried and what happened during the gathering with my friends on New Year's Eve.

I couldn't tell him about Natsume, so I made up a lie. I said I had a small fight with one of my friends during the gathering and we parted in the middle of the party without apologizing. I didn't know if he believed my flam, but he didn't ask me anything more. He just smiled and said he wouldn't let me be wistful on my birthday.

My brother really meant it. He started by making me a glass of hot chocolate for me in the morning, saying it could calm my convoluted mind. After that, he insisted on preparing hot water for me to bathe. Later, he sang me an anime song while doing funny movements that made me smile.

How couldn't I love him? He was the best brother I could ask for.

But I couldn't tell him that all his attempts to cheer me up only lasted for a while. When the view of Natsume's last smile came into my mind, I felt down again and my throat tightened. A few drops of tears managed to escape my eyes and I hastily wiped them away before my brother could see it.

"Oi! Mikan!"

I snapped back to reality when I felt my shoulders being shaken. When I got my focus back, Sumire's face was already in front of me, her dark green eyes staring at me curiously. I blinked twice before spelling out one word that came to my mind right away. "…Yeah?"

Sumire rolled her eyes and settled herself comfortably on her sitting spot. "Gosh, I thought you were sleeping with eyes open. I had called you a few times and you only looked at me with that empty stare," she remarked and eyed me closely. "Are you sure you're not lacking sleep?"

I forced my lips to form a smile. "Perhaps." I only cried.

She gave me an unconvinced stare for a moment before deciding to drop the matter. Her attention then moved to the wall clock, her lower lip jutting out a bit. "They're late."

"It's only three in the afternoon," I said. "I bet they'll be here soon."

"They better be," she mumbled.

Not long afterward, the loud ring of my house's bell resounded in the middle room. "That must be them," I told Sumire as I rose from the couch and made my way to the vestibule. I opened the door and was immediately greeted with a hug from my classmates.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MIKAN!" they chorused and crowded around me. I laughed and thanked them for coming before ushering them into my house. Not all my classmates came to celebrate my birthday, but to have those who were close to me coming today was already enough.

We arrived in the middle room just as my brother walked out of the kitchen with a black forest cake in his hands. "Oh, is everyone finally here?" he asked, a bright smile on his face.

All my friends, including Sumire, cheered. The party started with me being pulled to face the cake. All of them then sang the infamous birthday song and I could only laugh in happiness. After the song ended, my brother grinned and told me to make a wish and blow the candle. At this point, my smile froze.

Wish.

Could a wish bring Natsume back to me again?

Each year, I had made countless wishes upon my birthday candles. They were never granted most of the time, but I never made a big deal about it.

One of my wishes ever came true though. It was to have my family healthy and safe. But that wish, too, was broken when my parents left me and my brother in this mortal world.

I realized there was a slight difference in Natsume's case. There was a chance that he might come back on December and haunt the place again. Only this time, he would be in a minimarket instead of Anna's small shop. But there was also a doubt that he would show up again.

And though I tried to think positively, deep down, I doubted Natsume would return.

Gone.

He was already gone.

No matter how hard I hoped, he wouldn't come back. There would be no reason for me to wait for Fridays anymore.

"Mikan?"

I closed my eyes. Currently, there was only one hope I ever wanted.

I hope things will be good for me and my brother.

After I enounced my wish inwardly, I opened my eyes and blew the candle. Everyone cheered.

Natsume's shadow gradually faded from my mind.

-o-O-o-

January 2nd – Sunday

Time seemed to move slowly when I had nothing to do, so I decided to spend the second day of New Year by watching the television. Even though I said I was watching the television, I only clicked on the remote the entire time, changing the channels every three seconds because I couldn't find any interesting show.

My brother was out with his friends today to attend the adult version of New Year party. At first, he hesitated to leave me alone in the house, but I assured him that I would be fine. There was no way I would be a hindrance to my brother's freedom. He had taken good care of me all this time. He deserved the time to hang out and bond with his friends. Besides, it wasn't like I would suffer just because he left me for a few hours. I was already a big girl. An eighteen year old girl.

Sure, I was bored. But it didn't last for a long time.

Sumire came later to spend her leisure time with me. She brought two bags of potato chips, three packs of chocolate biscuits, and two big bottles of soft drink. When I saw her with those things in the plastic bags that occupied both of her hands, I looked at her incredulously. She returned my stare and grinned.

"It's time for girls' New Year party!" she exclaimed.

Thus, later, we ended up creating a huge mess on the coffee table in the middle room. Sumire and I were sitting side by side, watching the show she had chosen for us to enjoy while eating the snacks. The plastic garbage of food and empty bottles piled up on the table, and neither one of us made a move to do something with it.

Only after the show ended did Sumire make her first move from the couch. Throwing the empty bag of potato chips to the table, she slouched languidly on the couch and grabbed the television remote from the spot between us. She clicked on the remote a few times before finally stopping on a channel which currently had a quiz show on. "Ooh, I like this show!" she said, placing down the remote beside her and fixing her attention to the screen keenly.

"As long as it doesn't mention anything about Math, I'm okay with it," I said and munched on the chocolate biscuit in my hand.

"Talking about Math…" Sumire drawled while looking at me meaningfully. "Have you finished Jinjin's oh-so-difficult homework?"

I snorted.

"No," we both said in unison. She giggled while I sighed unhappily.

"You can't expect me to finish that horrible homework just in a few days," I grumbled, dropping my head against the backrest of the couch. "Besides, so many things happened during the beginning of winter break. The idea of doing homework just didn't come across my mind at that time, even the slightest bit."

"How about the other homework?"

"I'm thinking of doing some research for Biology paper tomorrow."

Sumire smiled smugly. "That, I have finished a long time ago."

"…How about helping me doing it?"

"You wish."

"I do."

She waved her hand at me, dismissing the subject, and turned back to the television.

"Oh, come on." I placed the side of my head on her shoulder. "You're the beeeesssstttt friend I can rely on."

She tutted me, her eyes still focused on the screen. "Nope. As a best friend that you can rely on, I must do my job by reminding you about the homework and pushing you to do them. I won't let you be a lazy bum."

"Sumireeee…"

Holding on to her words, Sumire shook her head and ignored my plead. But I knew she was just a half kidding about not helping me from the way the corner of her lips twitched every time I wailed. Then again, she knew she didn't have to take my whine seriously because I would definitely do the paper even without her help. I didn't want to stay back in the same class next year just because I didn't do my homework, thank you.

Now that I thought about it. We were already in the last year of high school. I should think of the course I wanted to take and also the university I wanted to enter for my future. Oh joy.

"You should do your homework if you have so much free time to space out and whine," Sumire said out of the blue. "It's good to distract your attention for a while since you don't seem to be yourself recently."

I looked up at Sumire and found her gaze were also on me. I could see myself reflected in her eyes, as well as the untold worry lying in them.

"What's wrong, Mikan?" Sumire asked softly. "Is it something that you can't tell me at all?"

It was then I was slapped awake.

I thought I was the only one miserable after Natsume was gone. I thought no one would know what was wrong with me if I pretended to act normal, like the times before Natsume came into my life. But I realized how hard it was to do it. I didn't even remember how I used to be before I encountered him. How I smiled happily all this time even after my parents died.

If Sumire knew there was something off about me, then perhaps my brother also realized that what I told him was a lie. He just didn't say anything and opted to do his best to cheer me up.

I was the one who was insensitive to the people around me, making them worried and clueless of the cause of my gloom. But I couldn't tell them that I was sad because a ghost I became attached to during last December was gone and I probably wouldn't see him again. Besides, it sounded ridiculous to be depressed because of it.

Natsume was nothing more than an unexplainable existence I 'accidentally met' and I didn't even know him well. But his smiles, his warmth, and strangely, his rude words and behavior had captivated my heart. Whenever he said thank you, smiled, or acted so gently to me, I felt tingly and warm inside. My heart beat fast and excitement filled me. I came to a conclusion that it was because I finally could get him to be nice to me.

But when he tried to shove me away, avoided me, and told me to forget our so-called friendship, I was hurt. I felt like crying. It pained me even more when I knew he would disappear, and I cried when he did vanish. Even now, just by remembering the last moment I spent with him, my chest constricted.

If I could turn back time, I wished I had never met him, I wished I couldn't hear or see him. If the encounter never happened, I wouldn't get hurt so much when he disappeared—

'…Why don't we just forget this?'

'Forget about what?' I asked, tilting my head in incomprehension.

'This.' He moved his forefinger back and forth in the empty space between us. 'This vague and peculiar so-called friendship between us.'

'Why?' I narrowed my eyes.

'In case you forgot, we almost reach the end of December,' he explained with a straight face. 'I will enter my long sleep again.'

'It doesn't matter,' I said. 'I will see you the next December. You won't be alone when you wake up later. I will be there to accompany you.'

Natsume closed his eyes and heaved a long sigh. 'It's not that.'

'Then what?' I argued. 'What, Natsume? What are you implying?'

He gave me a sharp stare. 'It's a bother to me.'

A bother.

Now I could comprehend what he meant that day.

Yes, this relationship was a bother. These feelings were bothering me.

Did he feel it too? Did he have the same feelings with me even before he suggested to end our friendship? The sadness was so vivid it made me feel numb sometimes.

'I don't feel anything,' he said, closing his eyes. 'I don't think I can feel anything.'

I blinked as the memory of our last week together suddenly crossed my mind. Now that I thought about it, there were times he acted so cold and every sentence came out of his mouth seemed to sound lonely.

'I'm not that affected because I've heard it beforehand.'

Oh, God…

'Am I really a bother to you?'

He nodded, but didn't say anything.

Natsume, had you known…?

'I don't want this to end, you know.'

Had you realized how hard it was to say goodbye?

'Neither do I.'

"Hey? Mikan?" Sumire shook my shoulders hard, bringing me back to reality. I gasped, just realizing I had been holding my breath for who knew how long, and focused my gaze on her. "Are you all right? You were so silent all of a sudden," she asked me, her forehead creasing in worry.

I blinked and scratched my cheek awkwardly. "Er… yeah, I just remembered something…" I said lamely, and then my vision started to blur.

I knew this sign so well. My eyes felt warm, and my throat and chest tightened in a painful way that I hardly could draw a proper breath.

No. Not again. I quickly bit my lip to prevent any sound coming out from my mouth.

"Mikan?" Sumire's fingers swept against my cheek comfortingly, peeling my last resistance little by little.

I couldn't hold it back anymore.

Finally, the tears poured out freely and the sobs escaped my lips. I leaned my head on Sumire's shoulder and cried my eyes out. Sumire stiffened for a moment, perhaps surprised with my unexpected burst of tears. After a while, her hands came around my shoulders, and I could hear her soft murmurs as she tried to calm me by rubbing my back gently.

This was all his fault.

That stupid Natsume… I had told him I wanted to hear his feelings. Why did he have to be so secretive?

It hurt even more when I just realized it now. I had accused him for things he never did.

He never deceived me.

He never thought of me as an entertainment to pass the time.

He really understood how it felt to be alone.

But he was still the worst, despicable for not telling me anything about him.

For the next hour, I was bawling on Sumire's shoulder. I didn't care if my eyes were swollen again, nor did I heed the fact that we needed to clean up the table before my brother came home in two hours and saw the mess.

I lamented over my foolishness for not even realizing how hurt Natsume might feel when he heard the news. What was in his head when he learned the possibility that he might not be able to wander in this world anymore? Did he hurt the way I did when I spewed my anger and frustration all over him? Why couldn't he be more open to me? Didn't he want someone to understand him?

Stupid Natsume.

…Stupid Mikan.

-o-O-o-

January 7th – Friday

After the day I cried hysterically in front of Sumire, I decided to avert my attention away from Natsume and occupied myself by doing my homework. I finished my Biology paper in three days and proceeded to do my English homework. I saved Math homework for last, because it would give me a headache. That was the last thing I needed now.

After spending two hours sitting in front of my study desk and staring at the blank paper before me, I heaved a sigh and chose to take a rest to refresh my head. Grabbing my brown coat from the wardrobe, I stepped out of my room and headed to the vestibule. "I'm going out for a while, brother!" I shouted at my brother who was currently watching the television. He lifted one of his hands, notifying me that he got my message.

Slipping into my boots, I opened the front door and inhaled the fresh winter morning air. The weather felt a bit warmer than before, and I couldn't wait for spring to come. Sakura trees would bloom everywhere by then and the sight might be able to mend this feeling of loss.

…Now I sounded like a brokenhearted girl.

I exhaled and stepped on the snowless street, treading the familiar path that led me to the shop I often visited last December. Now, this reminded me that I barely walked home whenever Natsume got control of his full power. He always teleported me back into the house. Thinking back, perhaps it would be good for us to spend our time walking once in a while. We could talk more; perhaps I could even understand him better. We also could stop by a coffee shop or do some window shopping, just like ordinary friends hanging out together.

Ah, why didn't I think of the earlier?

When the view of the shop came into my view, I saw Nonoko and Nobara walk out of the small building with a box in their hands. That was when I remembered again that the shop had already been closed. Maybe Anna was cleaning up her store by now.

I decided to stop by.

"Mikan!" Nobara called my name when I was close enough to the shop. I smiled at her and she pulled me into a tight hug.

I chuckled and returned her embrace. "I come to see how the cleaning up goes."

"It's going smoothly," Nonoko chimed in and hugged me once I broke away from Nobara. "It's nice to see you again, Mikan."

"Yeah. It's also good to see both of you," I said. "Where's Anna?"

"Inside the shop," Nobara answered. "Go greet her. She will be happy to see you coming."

"Sure. Thank you." I smiled at them and walked into the shop.

The view inside the shop wasn't the same as I last remembered. Compared to the last day I worked here, the shop was no longer filled with display cases, dolls, books, and other things to be sold. It was now empty. There were only two vacant display cases left inside and the decorations had been taken down, making the place look unwelcoming.

I roamed my eyes around the shop, hoping to see Anna, but found no sign of the kind owner there. I noticed the door to the staff room was open a bit.

Perhaps Anna was inside.

Smiling at the image of Anna's happy face, I sauntered into the staff room and was astounded once again seeing how empty it had become. There were no more lockers there. It was completely vacant. But still, I hadn't seen any trace of Anna.

"Anna?" I called out loud.

"Yes?"

I drew my gaze to the storeroom and, there, Anna's surprised face greeted me.

"Mikan!" she exclaimed, trotting out of the storage room and approaching me. Once she was standing before me, she engulfed me in a hug and laughed. "I thought no one would come here to see the shop for the last time."

I chuckled. "Well, it seems like Nonoko, Nobara, and I have a different thought."

"Yes. Yes, the three of you do." She released me and smiled.

I returned her smile then glanced behind her. The storeroom was open and I could see no box anymore inside. "Cleaning up the storeroom?" I asked.

"Mhm," Anna hummed and turned back to the room, but not before she motioned me to come along. "Want to help? There are only a few things left."

I grinned and followed her. "Sure."

When I was inside the storeroom, I spotted the portable stair being stood under the ceiling door. The small door was even open. "Are you cleaning up the attic?" I asked Anna, my attention still on the ceiling door.

"Uh-huh. I kept a few empty boxes there when I moved here. I think it's time to get them out for good," she said while climbing the stairs.

Oh, so that was what in there. Empty boxes, huh?

And to think it might have something that would give me a clue as to why Natsume was there in the first place, I was so hopeful. Now the hope went down the drain when I knew it had nothing but unused empty boxes.

Sighing to myself, I climbed the steps of the portable stairs to the room I used to get interested in. When I arrived in the attic, I took in how small and dark the place was. The only illumination in the room was the flashlight in Anna's hand. The woman in question was currently at the corner, lifting a pile of folded boxes before walking to my direction. I quickly lifted myself up to the attic as Anna dropped the boxes to the storeroom under us.

"We still have two there," she said while pointing to the dark corner behind us. "Would you mind helping me drop those while I move the boxes below to the car?"

"Okay," I agreed and she immediately handed me the flashlight before climbing down.

I glanced behind me and gulped down my fear. Now that I was left alone, I realized how bleak this place was. Dark and a bit humid. I thought it wouldn't be strange if I met one or two ghosts here…

Oh no. I didn't just think about that matter again. I was here to help Anna, okay? Yeah. I was going to help Anna cleaning up this place. What was she said? Oh yeah. Two boxes. I just had to drop those two remaining boxes and then I could go out of this dark, scary place.

There was no ghost here, Mikan. There was no ghost here.

Directing the flashlight to the corner Anna had pointed at earlier, I spotted those two boxes sat innocently on their spots, though they gave off creepy atmosphere in some way. One box was closed, while another was open with a few folded boxes stacked in a neat row inside. Involuntarily, the picture of a pale hand moved stealthily inside the closed box filled my head. I shuddered at the thought and quickly dismissed the image before I cowered and opted to run home.

I heaved a long sigh, stood on my spot for a few more seconds, and finally decided to walk to the direction of the boxes, knowing this wouldn't be over if I made no move anytime soon. I dragged both of the boxes at the same time away from the wall, intending to finish the task as fast as possible, and accidentally dropped the flashlight. The thing rolled a bit far away from me, so I quickly released the boxes and crouched down to grab the source of illumination I had. My hand halted in mid air when I saw something shining in the direction where the light was directed. The thing was small in size, and it seemed to have a chain connected to it.

A necklace? Was it Anna's?

Squinting, I picked up the flashlight. I kept on pointing the light to the lambent thing and crawled closer to see what it was.

When I was close enough, I found my breath stopped for a moment. Lying on the dusty floor was the black cat key chain I gave Natsume before. It was attached to a chain, side by side with a pendant I was also familiar with.

I hoisted both things without a second thought and eyed the pendant closely.

The protruding picture of wings and shield, and also the ruby colored gem in the middle of it.

There was no doubt. It was indeed Natsume's.

"So you're here," I murmured, relief washing over me somehow as I held the pendant close to my chest. "I found you, Natsume."

And just like that, all of a sudden, my doubt was gone. Knowing he was really here, that he actually existed and resided in this place before, the hope to see him again one day filled my head and my heart beat in anticipation at the thought.

He would come back. He would return to get this pendant someday and I could see him again.

This, I could believe a while longer, at least until December approached once more. And when that day came and he didn't show up, it was then I would bid him goodbye permanently and allow myself to start forgetting him.

Until then, I still had hope.

"Mikan? Do you need help?" Anna's voice snapped me out of my thought.

Oh, right. I was in the middle of helping Anna cleaning up the shop.

I turned to the ceiling door and shouted back at Anna, "No! I'm fine! I'm going to drop the boxes!" I hurriedly pushed both of the boxes to the ceiling door and dropped it one by one through the square entry.

Anna smiled up at me. "Okay. Those are the last ones. You can come down now."

"Okay." I smiled at her and took one last look at the attic, the place where Natsume stayed during December. This was my first time seeing this place, and this would also be the last time I ever stepped my feet in it.

I turned off the flashlight, stepped on the stairs, and closed the ceiling door. Holding Natsume's pendant securely in my hand, I climbed down the stairs and lifted one of the boxes while Anna had the other one in her hands. After we stepped out of the storeroom, Anna locked the door and we walked out of the shop together.

I handed the box to Nonoko once we were outside the shop. She immediately marched to the car along with Anna to put the boxes away. I turned to the shop and looked at it for the last time. Though I felt sad that the building would be gone, my lips curled into a smile as I remembered every memory I had made in this shop.

And Natsume; he was the most wonderful memory among them.

After bidding Anna, Nonoko, and Nobara goodbye, I turned and walked back home, feeling lighter and content than ever.

Natsume's last words rang inside my head.

'I'll see you later.'

Yeah. I would see you later, Natsume…

-o-O-o-

English winter break assignment

The Santa's Representative and I

by Mikan Sakura/class 3-B

This story started from a strange encounter I had in the storeroom, under the cold weather of December.

-Fin-