Last chapter! I probably could have made it two, but here we go!

I still only own the characters I created.

"So how do you think Barney's doing out there?" Lily asked, turning off the television.

Robin shrugged. "Did he text you about the guy he found to be his victim?"

"No," Lily said, putting the remote down. Her eyebrows narrowed and she looked at Robin. "Did he actually say 'victim'?"

"No." Robin shook her head. "He said 'masterpiece' but I feel like 'victim' is probably more appropriate."

"Are we talking about Barney?" Ted asked, walking into the room with a tray of pineapple. "He texted me about the guy who can't talk to women."

"He found a guy who can't talk to women?" Lily asked, her eyes widening.

"Why didn't he tell me about this?" Marshall asked, coming in the room from the kitchen. "Lil'? Did he tell you?"

"No," she said, looking from Ted to Robin. "Why would he tell you guys and not us?"

"I don't know," Ted said. "Maybe because he thinks I'm his best friend."

"It's probably because he's got his work cut out for him getting this guy to talk to hot pieces of ass like us," Robin said, looking at Lily. They high-fived. "So he's probably planning something that married people wouldn't approve of."

Marshall and Lily exchanged a frown. "Like what?" he asked.

Robin thought for a moment, then shrugged. "I don't know, but it could happen."

Lily thought, and then nodded.

"Well, I'm sure we'll get a phone call or text when he actually gets the guy talking to women," Lily said. "I can just see it now…" she tried to imitate Barney's voice. "CHALLENGED ACCEPTED!"

"So what is your big plan, bro?" Raj asked, sitting on the couch in his apartment. Barney was standing in front of him, scrutinizing Raj's attire. The astro physicist was wearing the suit; Barney had his hair set perfectly-being Ted's best friend had its advantages besides being a good bro-and Raj looked much more put together than he had the previous night, when they'd just suited him up in a hurry. His shoes matched, the suit fit better after a minor altering, and Barney was confident that it would be enough.

"My big plan is…" Barney said slowly, dramatically. "Is…" he paused, then grabbed Raj's shoulders and spun him around to face a full length mirror that was just behind the couch. "Wow! Look at you, you beautiful bastard!"

Raj's reflection frowned. "How did you get that mirror in here?"

Barney's reflection tried not to look annoyed. "Look at that handsome devil in that beautiful suit. Now, this is a man who knows he's attractive, who knows that his attire combined with his intelligence could score any woman on the planet, with just one look and a few smooth words. That's all it takes…" Abruptly, Barney spun Raj around the pushed him toward the door. "Let's go, bro, we've got girls to wow tonight."

"But what's your plan, dude?" Raj asked, still looking confused.

Barney smiled to himself.

They reached the bar and were allowed in. "Now remember," Barney said, placing his hands on Raj's shoulders and studying him at arm's length, "you look invincible."

"I do, don't I?" Raj asked, smiling.

"You do," Barney said encouragingly. "Not anyone, male or female, can take us down tonight. Remember that. Now, let's go! Follow me."

They entered, and Barney ordered a scotch and soda. "Nothing for you tonight," he told Raj. "You're doing this alone."

Raj just nodded. "Okay," he said, adjusting his suit slightly.

Barney smiled. Proof that his plan was working. "Okay, so what do you think tonight?" He asked Raj.

Raj discreetly scanned the crowd. "Four-thirty…five…five-thirty…"

Barney's eyes slid to the right side of the socket, tracking Raj's selection as she moved over to a booth and slid into it. She was alone. "Target acquired," he said under his breath. "Follow me."

They started across the room. "You can strut just a little," he said under his breath, barely moving his lips as he spoke. "But don't overdo it."

Raj obeyed, letting a smile come across his face. A confidant smile. Barney smiled, too. This was going to work.

Barney stopped at the woman's table-she was blonde, slightly heavier than the woman from the previous night, but not hefty by any means-and smiled, presenting his new bro with a flourish. "Hi, have you met Dr. Rajesh Koothrapali?"

At the woman's ever so slight nod, Raj came up from behind Barney and gestured toward the seat across from her. "May I?"

The woman blushed ever-so-slightly. "Sure."

Raj slid into the seat and began to talk to the lady. Barney melted away into the crowd, finding the bathroom and slipping inside. He took out his phone and dialed.

"Barney?"

"Ted, is everyone in the room?"

"It's after midnight here."

"And you're at MacLaren's, I can hear Wendy in the background. Is everyone there?"

"Yes."

"Speaker phone, please?"

He heard Ted sigh, and then the beep to signal that speaker phone had been activated. Barney held the phone practically against his mouth and shouted, "Challenge completed!"

"What?" Robin's voice sounded high and incredulous.

"How?" Lily asked. "Did you get him talking to women?"

"Ah, Robin, Lil', fair ladies," he said, sighing. "Barnabus Stinson will always…"

"Dude," came Marshall's voice, "cut the drama and just tell us what happened."

"I got him suited up, made him look confidant, and then talked him up so he'd feel confidant. It's fool-proof."

"Any respected scientist would tell you that one-for-one is not fool proof," Ted said.

"Well, the respected scientist out in the main room is on his way to…" Barney leaned out the door and saw the blonde laugh at something Raj said. "A two-for-two night."

"Do you think he could get a…"

"Stop!" Barney heard Marshall and Ted silence one of the women; he couldn't tell which one.

"I don't know if he could," Barney said. "He can try, but as it took me years to accomplish it…" He shrugged. "I just shrugged," he informed them when he remembered that they couldn't see him.

"Sounds like a personal problem," Lily quipped.

"Shut up, Lily," he said, snapping his phone shut. Straightening his suit, Barney strode back out into a bar, not-so-accidentally bumping a tall, thin brunette and spilling her drink. "Oh, I'm so sorry," he said, putting his hands up apologetically. "I'm such a klutz, oh, I'm sorry."

Across the room, Raj saw Barney bump into the woman. He gave Bethany, the woman he was talking to, a smile. "Excuse me for just one moment.

She turned her head slightly to one side, smiling. "Sure."

Raj made his way across the room and put his hand on the brunette's upper arm. "Please do not be mad at my friend here. He hasn't been as balanced on his feet since he saved me from the…stampeding buffalo in our exploration of the wilds of South Dakota. Pushing me out of the way caused him to fall and get hit in the cranium-it's affected his center of balance. Only for walking, of course, all other physical activities, I'm told, he still excels in."

"Oh my God," said the woman, forgetting her damp dress and putting a hand to her heart. "You saved his life? You saint!"

Barney smiled at the woman. "Well, it was nothing, really…" he glanced at Raj and gave him a wink, and Raj returned to the table to talk to Bethany. Within a half an hour, both men were heading out with the women in tow.

"And you had sex with her?" Howard asked the next day, incredulous.

"As in…two different women," Sheldon said, "two nights in a row?" Raj nodded proudly. "That's repulsive, go wash up," Sheldon ordered him. When Raj didn't move, Sheldon got up and headed across the hall.

Knock knock knock "Penny?"

Knock knock knock "Penny?"

Knock knock knock "Penny?"

Penny opened the door. "Hey, Sheldon, is Horney Stinson still here?"

"He's not at our apartment; I have zero knowledge if he's still in the general area. Though 'general' when not referring to the military ranking, is a rather ambiguous term…"

"Shut up," she said, raising a hand to silence him. "Come on in." She backed up so Sheldon could enter the apartment. "So what's going on over there that made you want to come to the Swirling Vortex of Entropy?"

"Was that sarcasm?" Sheldon asked.

"Yes," she said, smiling. "Good detection." She raised a hand, palm perpendicular to the ground. Sheldon cocked his head. "High five, nerd," she said.

"Oh." He tapped her palm hesitantly, and then wiped his palm on the edge of her couch. Penny rolled her eyes. "And in answer to your question," he said, settling on the couch, "Raj was telling us the tale of his sexual exploits, which include two women in two nights. He claims he spoke to one of them, and…" Sheldon looked up. Penny was gone. He shrugged. "I was bored with that conversation, anyway.

"Raj!" Raj, Howard, and Leonard looked over at Penny, standing in the door. "Talk to me!" she said, looking eager and expectant.

He smiled. "How has your day been, Penny? Did Sheldon drive you over here?" Penny giggled. "What?" Raj asked.

"You say 'here' funny," she said coming over and sitting on the arm of Leonard's chair. "So you're talking to women now! That's incredible. Okay, I have to hug you." She slid off of the chair and moved around the coffee table to wrap her arms around Raj's shoulders. She pulled back after a second or two and smiled. "You can talk to me…" she shook her head. "I love it!"

"Isn't it great?" Leonard asked, smiling at her. "Now you won't have to leave the room every time Howard gets sick of Raj whispering in his ear!"

Penny grinned, pumping her fist in the air in what was only semi – mock jubilation.

Sheldon re – appeared at the door. "Raj? Are you done with your story?"

"Yes, Sheldon," Raj said, rolling his eyes.

"Sheldon smiled. "Oh, good." He walked back into the living room and sunk down into his spot. "Shall we have our first group conversation?"

Penny moved back to Leonard's chair as Raj smiled. "Certainly. I'll start."

Did you like it? Either way, let me know in a review, pretty please!

And for the first time since October of 2009, I have no in-progress fics. What shall I start on next? *begins brainstorming*