Christ is coming,
And so am I.

It was snowing outside. The fact that it was almost freezing balls in the motel room was a tell-tale sign of that. The room was decorated sparsely with Christmas lights and a small tree on the table in the corner with beer bottles around it. As was tradition the ornaments on the tree were made out of bent bottle caps that glittered when the red lights blinked on and off. Despite the little tree, the room itself wasn't all that festive.

Dean sat on the edge of the bed, mug of eggnog in his hand as he took a sip of it. Yellow mustache over his top lip was licked away, the warmth in the back of his throat letting him know he'd put enough rum to top him off for the night. Sam was not in the Christmas spirit, which wasn't at all surprising considering he had no soul. So Dean had decided that it would be best if he gave Sam his gift early and let him go off and find himself a bunny to bang.

In other words, they were staying in separate rooms tonight.

Usually there would be some smutty porn on the television, but oddly Dean Winchester was listening to the radio. Christmas songs on loop on every station made him nostalgic and a bit angry. He couldn't help, but think about the one Christmas he'd spent with Lisa and Ben. It had been pretty normal, boring but normal. Sammy would have liked that, or the old Sam would have.

Another sip of his eggnog as he stared forward at the box on the entertainment center before him. There were folded sheets of wrapping paper with cartoon reindeers with candy canes printed all over it, sitting next to a small box that was pretty non-descript on the smooth surface. Dean frowned at the item as he looked to the roll of tape next to it and shrugged his shoulders. Placing the mug down and gathering up the items, he put them on the bed.

"It's not going to wrap itself," he muttered to no one.

One sheet of wrapping paper employed became more of a hassle than he would have liked, he didn't have scissors so he used his knife. It ended up being to small by the end of it and he tossed that piece of his shoulder and picked up another shit to try again. The cycle continued for two more sheets of wrapping paper before frustration began to show on his handsome features. Brow furrowed in discontent, he finally huffed and placed the box in the center of the paper, picked up each end of the paper, gave it a couple of twists and taped the twist into place.

The gift looked like a party favor more than a gift, but Dean was too frustrated to care and he put it aside on his bedside table before picking up his mug again. Downing the rest of his eggnog, he shuddered as the warmth crawled down his throat and settled in his stomach. Liquid courage was certainly something he could use in this moment due to what he was going to do next.

Dean moved over to the sink near the bathroom and placed his cup in it as he leaned onto the counter top with a sigh.

"Cas," he called hopelessly, pretty sure he wouldn't come.

It was the soft woosh of flapping wings that caused Dean to look up at the mirror that took up most of the wall behind the sink. Castiel was standing behind him, head tilted and eyes a bit wide though Dean wasn't sure if it was in confusion or curiosity. It was hard enough trying to understand what the angel said let alone how to read his body language correctly.

"You're here," Dean said to Cas as he stare at him in the mirror.

"You called, I've come. Do you need something? Is something wrong with Sam?" Cas said gently, looking around for the younger Winchester but not finding him.

"No, I just…"

Dean curled his fingers over the rim of the sink, fingers biting into porcelain hard enough to turn nail beds white. He was so nervous, his heart nearly thudding out of his chest before he turned around to face Cas finally, leaning back against the sink.

"I wanted you to spend Christmas with me this year."

"Dean, I have things I need to take care of."

"Don't make me beg, man," Dean nearly shouted at him. "It means nothing to Sam to have this day with me and it used to mean so much. At least with you, I know you care about me even if you never say so."

"I have always told you I cared, Dean. When no one else believed in you, I did."

"It's not the same as saying: Hey, Dean. I care about you, I want you happy," Dean said as his throat tightened some with emotion, thinking on his father and how John never really said it either. It was always the holidays that made him into such a bitch.

"Is that what you want me to say, Dean?"

"I want you to mean it, not say it because I want it, Cas."

"I-"

"You can't," Dean rolled his eyes and just pushed past Castiel.

Making his way over to the bed and taking the gift from the bedside table only to toss it over to Castiel. The angel barely caught it, he looked over the messy thing and blinked at in confusion before looking back to Dean.

"It's not that I don't care about you, Dean. I care about you more than you could know."

"You don't have to feed me that bullshit, Cas. It's just a gift, I'm not asking you to marry me," Dean snorted and commenced opening another beer.

Pinching the cap between his fingers, then his teeth he made to put it around a naked branch on the tiny tree before pinching it shut to add a new ornament. Taking a hefty drink of his beer, he turned his back on Cas and sighed. Castiel just stared at Dean's back with confusion on his features, sighing softly and making to rip the paper slowly as if he were testing the waters.

Finally, the wrapping paper littered the floor and he held just the box in his hands. Turning it over once and then twice before he pulled it open, the lid flipping up to reveal the amulet he had once asked Dean to borrow in order to find God. The brown leather visible at one end of the box as it came out from under the spongy insulator. Surprisingly, Cas felt his stomach tie into thick knots and his throat constricted with an emotion he wasn't so sure he could define or even put words to. This had meant so much to Dean and here he was giving it to him as a gift.

Cas opened his mouth to say something but he fell silent as he spied a small card folded into the top of the box and pulled it free. The small piece of folded construction paper easily opened like a card would and read:

Cas,

I hope you find what you're looking for

because thanks to you, I've found what

I was looking for even when I wasn't

looking.

Dean

The angel stared at the card, read it again and then again before he finally pulled the amulet free from the box and pulled it over his head. Touching at the little metal charm for a moment before he looked to Dean, who was still looking at the tree or rather was staring at the window watching the snow fall in silence. Without a word he moved over to Dean, a hand awkwardly pressed to his hip before Cas moved to up behind him. Their bodies touching, but he was leaning in so he could whisper into Dean's ear.

"God isn't what I'm looking for anymore, he doesn't want me and to be honest," Castiel spoke softly, gruffly as his lips brushed over the crest of Dean's ear causing him to shudder. "I don't want to find him anymore. I have found something more, something I thought was only allowed to me in the presence of God."

"What's that, Cas?" Dean said, keeping his poker face and his tone pretty level.

"Love, Dean," he said firmly. "Love. I care for you, I do. But I love you and I answer to you. I come when you call because your voice is like every heavenly hymn I have ever recited. Your presence shines brighter than the light of heaven in my eyes. God…I will not deny, I do love him still. But I love you and he put me here, kept me here, brought me back here to be with you. And try as I might, I cannot deny you. I cannot…drink enough liquor stores to forget what it is I feel for you. I cannot fight it, and I cannot quit the addiction that you've become."

"Cas-"

"No, you want to know if I care about you and your happiness and the honest truth is that your happiness has been the only thing I have cared about for quite some time."

Dean was stunned into silence, but his hand moved up instinctively to rest over Castiel's at his hip so that their fingers could lace together. Leaning back against the angel, there was something about the way that his back rested against Cas' chest that made it feel perfect. Like two puzzle pieces finally being put in the right places. Hazel eyes closed and he took a deep breath before turning his head to catch the others blue gaze.

Their gaze was intense, so many things being said without a single word being uttered but there was no doubt in Castiel's mind that Dean felt the same way even if he didn't say it. There was no doubt in Dean's mind that Castiel meant it when he said he loved him. And if he could focus on something other than his heavily beating heart within his ribcage.

Turning around so that their bodies pressed together, there was no stopping the gentle kiss. Castiel's hand gently cradling the side of Dean's face as Dean pressed a hand to he angels chest, his fingers brushing over the charm that he'd given him. The kiss intensifying for a moment, their bodies meshed together before the kiss was broke and they took a much needed breath.

Dean brushed the amulet lightly before he looked to Castiel and smiled some. "I hope you like it, it's not much but…it's what I have to give."

"It's perfect, Dean," Castiel assured him before kissing him once more.

The kiss was sweet and quick, but Dean's eyes were shining with adoration nonetheless. A look that displayed much more than he would ever say. Dean being the more physical of the Winchester boys, he was far more telling in his body language and his touch. The fact that their fingers were still twined and Dean had Cas' hand pulled toward himself was sign enough. He wanted to be as close to the angel as he possibly could.

"I'm sorry, I didn't get you anything. The war takes up all my time, you know how much I would rather be here…I'd have rather been looking for a proper gift rather than dealing with Raphael," Castiel admitted, his forehead pressed to Dean's.

"I know," Dean said thickly as he closed his eyes. "Just be with me tonight. It's Christmas Eve and I don't want to be alone."

"Where's Sam? He should be with you."

"He…" Dean whispered, sighing under his breath and sniffing sharply to keep his emotions in check. "He's not Sam. The Sam I knew would have been pushing me to put up the decorations, he would have been wanting to watch A Christmas Carol all day, he would have wanted me to wrap your present right. This…this thing is not Sam, it's not my brother."

"I'm sorry, Dean. I wish I could give you your brother for Christmas."

Dean's eyes were brimming with tears that he was willing to stay in place, but as he dipped his head further they fell. Some tears clinging to his cheeks and running slowly while the others fell to the floor, his free hand curled into Cas' trench coat.

The angel may not have been the best with people skills, but Dean being in distress never failed to bring out the compassion and love in him. So he stroked over the back of the hunters head gently, feeling the shorter hairs at the back of his head delicately. Fingers massaged at the back of Dean's neck gently and pulled him closer, pressing lips to the others forehead gently. He could almost feel the other relax against him and finally sniff again to gather himself up, wiping at his eyes and chuckling nervously. Dean looked up at Cas and smiled, that smile of his that really was more of a cover up than a true smile.

"Look at me, I'm Sam. I'm a woman," he laughed hollowly.

Castiel cupped the side of Dean's face, a shadow of a smile on his lips as he leaned in and kissed him. The kiss was passionate and delicate at the same time, Dean gave up control to the angel so the usual intensity was out the window. Tenderness had taken the wheel here and it was in Cas' arms as the two of them pressed closer together seeking solace in each others presence. Cas forgetting the war in heaven and Dean forgetting that his brother wasn't his brother anymore.

The trench coat hit the floor with a shrug of Castiel's shoulders as he slowly pulled off Dean's long sleeved shirt and let it fall as well. Their kiss interrupted, Cas took the time to remove his dress jacket and shirt so that they could press bare torsos together. Hearts beating heavily in tune, reaching through sternums in hopes of touching one another. Dean let out a soft groan, Castiel's lips traveling along his shoulder experimentally taking his control slowly.

Dean's head went back as the angel's lips moved along his throat, his hazel eyes half-lidded from the pleasure that was coursing through him. Taking it slow was certainly not something he did often, but whether he liked it or not he liked the drawn out feel. The slowness of each kiss and the delicate touch of Castiel's fingers moving along his spine. It was delicious and it was enough to have his muscles tense up, he just wanted to be as close to the angel as he could possibly be.

It was fingers on his fly that made him gasp, feeling his pants being shimmied off of his hips and down around his knees. Dean wiggled out of them completely and stepped out of them, making sure to press them deftly together. Castiel commenced with his kisses along every patch of bare skin that he could reach without crouching down, his lips traveling over his collarbone slowly. The hunter shuddered under every kiss and let out a throaty groan as he reached to delicately undo the others pants.

Pushing the trousers down as far as he could, he pulled back and looked up at Castiel with the both of them standing there in just boxers and shoes. It made him chuckle to wiggle his toes and still feel his socks and his boots, sitting back on the edge of the bed before Cas he kicked off his boots and pulled off his socks. The angel following suit a bit clumsily as he stood, nearly toppling over before he got socks and shoes off.

A gasp leaving him as he stood up straight when he felt Dean's lips on his abs, his stomach tensing as he felt stubble scratching at his skin. The feeling caused goosebumps to rise all over his body and his toes curled, it was nothing special but Dean was being affectionate. Instead of going down, Dean was moving up before his hands gripped at Cas' sides and urged the angel down atop him.

Castiel loomed over Dean, looking into his eyes for a long silent moment before smiling adoringly and leaning in to kiss him once more. Hips fitting perfectly between spread thighs as Dean's leg curled over the back over Castiel's leg so to bring him closer. Obstructing fabric a bit maddening whether he wanted to admit it or not, but Castiel was taking his sweet time. Kissing him with as much passion as he could muster, scathingly devoted in his gestures as his fingers slid along Dean's bare sides.

Finally, fingers hooked in the others boxers and pulled them down slowly forcing the hunter to kick out of them a bit wildly. Cas laughed gently and slipped out of his own boxers so that their bodies were finally bare and pressed together like perfect puzzle pieces. Heat transferring between the both of them, no need to work for arousal because both were already erect.

His hand fisted around Dean's cock, stroking slowly and feeling ever vein beneath taut flesh and swiping over the sensitive head only to cause the other to groan and arch wildly into the touch. Castiel smiled and kissed along Dean's chest slowly before releasing his cock and pressing up against him, leaned over to grab the bottle of lube that was kept in the same spot no matter what room they were in. The bedside drawer, near the back. It was like their secret storage place that no one else knew about, Cas always knew it was there.

Lube bottle in hand, Castiel moved back over Dean and held the slender tube between his fingers trying to work the cap open. Dean always made it look so easy, just a flick of the thumb and it was good to go. But one flick and Cas nearly dropped the thing causing Dean to chuckle at him, the adorable look of frustration on the angels face was priceless. He took the bottle from his hands and chuckled again.

"Calm down, man. It's not that hard, here."

Cas frowned as he watched Dean flick the cap open, but like the impatient being that he was Castiel closed it and tried to do it himself. But once again the concept of flicking it open with one finger seemed too complex for him and only ended up giving Dean a few more good laughs.

"Cas," Dean whispered heatedly as he touched the side of the angel's face, their eyes meeting. "Can you practice opening the bottle when I'm not naked?"

Clearing his throat, the angel nodded without a word as he offered the bottle to Dean once again. He flicked it open with his thumb and Castiel poured copious amounts of the slick substance onto his palm. Mimicking what he'd seen Dean do quite a few times before reaching down and stroking along his own cock.

It didn't feel quite as good as it usually did when Dean was touching him, but it still felt good enough to get him to moan. Dean smiled, watching Castiel intently before bringing him down for a kiss. Legs spreading a bit wider as he made to wrap legs loosely around the others waist, bringing the angel closer to him and moaning into his lips. Cas didn't need much instruction to take the hint and slowly he pushed into Dean, groaning at the new sensation as muscles clenched around him.

Dean let out a soft sound that may have been a cry or whimper of pain, but it was muffled by the fact that he pressed his face into Castiel's shoulder. Body taking a moment to adjust to the intruding cock before he felt the other move and let out a gasp of surprise, but he willed himself to relax. Giving into the gentle rhythm that Cas was working up, each thrust slow and calculated as if he were afraid to speed up and loose composure of his movements.

Their bodies were flush against one another, sweat beading over their bodies as Dean writhed on the bed with both pain and pleasure. New sensations causing Castiel to shudder as his will power to hold out on his orgasm was being tested, this human body felt things that his angelic one could not. The pleasure overwhelming as the pressure was too much, choking him and yet pleasing him at the same time. Conflicting sensations had the muscles in his back rippling beneath his flesh, moans spilling from his lips as he took hold of Dean's cock. Stroking in time with every roll and rock of his hips.

Hearts beating frantically, it was all that Dean could hear though he was sure he was moaning. Unaware of just how loud it was and only silenced when Castiel kissed him. Hands slid down from the angel's back to grip at his ass, pulling him closer with each thrust Cas pushed into him. As if guiding him and yet not urging him to move any harder than he was, their slow rhythm was tantalizing and delicious.

Rolling and grinding his hips, Castiel was lost in the meshing of their bodies and the feel of Dean so constricting around him. He was unable to keep the kiss going and he sloppily broke it, red lips kissing along stubble covered jaw as he moaned into Dean's flesh. The slowness beginning to cause an intense ache to grow in the base of his spine, the pleasure building there seeking some kind of release. And without warning like a rubber band it snapped, causing Castiel's hips to thrust harshly forward. Gyrating so to milk himself dry, he cried out against the hunters salty skin.

Hand frantic, pumping harder and faster as his hips did the same so to make sure every drop had been milked out of him. The orgasm so intense that Dean's cry of pleasure sounded far away compared to his own heartbeat. Dean was gasping for breath after each moan, after each whimper that the cry was throaty and made his throat raw. He came, staining Cas' inexperienced hand.

A grunt soon to follow as Cas fell atop him, sated and heavy but Dean was all too happy to accept the angels body weight. Their lips meeting again for another kiss that was delicate and yet filled with passion, chests heaving against one another. Finally, pulling from the kiss so to breathe easier, Dean moved his hands from the others ass and up his back once more keeping him close. Laying there for a few minutes of silence as the two of them tried to catch their breath. Castiel littered Dean's shoulder with gentle kisses, trying to convey how he felt without saying anything.

Castiel groaned as he felt Dean move, only to look up as he felt something being placed atop his head. Seeing white fluff on his brow, he blinked and looked down at Dean unaware that now he was wearing nothing but that amulet and a Santa Claus hat atop his head. Dean was beaming up at him, mirth filling his usually troubled hazel eyes.

"Merry Christmas, Cas."

"Merry Christmas, Dean," Cas said gruffly with a small smile before leaning in to kiss him again.