Touch the Horizon

-Prelude-

The snow drifted down lazily from the sky.

It fell heavily, blanketing everything in white.

It was the big, fluffy kind of snowflakes that fell almost in slow motion. Their silent decent making everything seem peaceful and serene.

Things were anything but.

Nanao watched the snow build slowly. It was so quiet. How long had she been standing here? It was up to her ankles already.

There wasn't even so much of a breeze to stir the flakes, as they fell straight all around her.

She caught sight of red, standing out starkly against the pale skin of her arms and jerked her gaze away quickly. She bit her trembling lower lip, blinking the sudden moister out of her vision. The storm had quickly covered the red smear that had been on the ground at her feet. She still knew it was there, no matter how much white was piled over it.

God, there had been so much blood…

Her violet eyes lifted to the sky, getting a tunneling view as the snow fell around her, landing on her face in tiny specks of cold. Several small drops of water covered the lens of her glasses, but the thought didn't even cross her mind to wipe them off.

It didn't matter. Nothing really did, when she thought about it. Not now. Not today.

She heard light footsteps approaching, but ignored them. She knew by the feel of him it was Captain Ukitake. She couldn't greet him properly, but really, there was no need to be formal between them right now. Silently, she willed him to just turn and leave. Leave her be, leave her alone. He wasn't the captain she wanted to see. She hoped he would just go. Nanao didn't want to be rude to him, but she couldn't talk about this, not now.

Maybe not ever.

He stopped next to her regardless, and didn't say anything to her at all. Silence reigned between them.

She turned her face to him, lifting her eyes to trace his profile. She waited for him to acknowledge her or say something, but…he wasn't even looking at her. He just came to stand next to her, staring blankly ahead. So still.

The snow fell around his gentle features, and he blended well with the scene. His white hair against the white covered backdrop. The thing out of place, however, was the red rimmed eyes, the slight puffiness around them.

She looked away then, not needing to see him to know what he was going through.

They continued in silence, for hours it seemed. No one else came, and they were left to deal with this.

"So careless…" he whispered suddenly, his voice sounding hoarse. He blinked a few times, before turning to meet her sad gaze with his own.

"It wasn't your fault," she answered, just as quietly.

Again the quiet stretched between them. They kept their eyes locked, both understanding the other in their despair.

"I should have been there," Nanao was surprised to hear her voice this time, as she never meant to say anything. She was angry at her captain. Furious, really. This wasn't supposed to happen. He was supposed to come back with the rest.

"No one could have changed his mind about leaving you here," he stated, his voice sounding so wrong to her ears.

Nanao turned her eyes away from his dark gaze then, not wanting to see his face when the tears fell from her cheeks. She had never cried in anyone else's presense that she could ever remember. She thought maybe she should be embarrassed, but at the moment it didn't seem to matter.

"He loved you, you know," Captain Ukitake said, as if it was the most obvious thing. "He truly did."

The tears came hard then, running hot paths down her cheeks, and her chest hurt from repressing the sobs that threatened to escape. She swiped a hand across her cheeks absently, and smiled a bitter, cheated smile.

I know, she thought. And that's what made this so much worse.