Author's Notes: Well, for the last two years in a row I've written Xmas one-shots, both of which have been Cody/Gwen. This year, because I'm an idiot, I'm going for something a bit more ambitious—a multichaptered C/G fic. Can I actually finish this in time, given how I tend to procrastinate and get easily distracted? I'll certainly try!

Hope you enjoy!

(Disclaimer thing: Total Drama characters are the property of some Canucks whose names I have a hard time remembering. The name Kevin for Gwen's brother comes from Nikki-Kun05, who I have an unfortunate habit of copying because her stories are awesome. The plot of this story is based on about a thousand clichéd Christmas specials with maybe an extra dash of The Santa Clause. And it's set the Christmas after TDWT, in case there's any confusion.)

(Ottawa, Ontario)

There was a soft thud within the fireplace, followed by a slight groan as the figure within climbed out, making his way into the room.

He checked the list in his hand again, tuttering to himself—my, what a lot of people to deliver to in just one apartment! Although he knew that most of these people probably didn't actually live here. Well, it was Christmas, the time for friends and family, after all...it made little real difference to him where everybody was, as long as his lists were able to keep track of them all (and they were). He looked up and glanced around the large living room, quickly spotting the tree in the far corner, cookies and milk carefully placed on a table beside it. The man licked his lips, crossing the room—he hefted his bag over his shoulder, tiptoeing quietly to make sure he didn't wake anyone—

—and totally failed to spot the seventeen-year-old boy sleeping on the floor until he had stumbled over him, windmilling his arms wildly before crashing onto his face.

"Aaaagggghhhh—!"

"Agh!"

BOOM!

Crack!

"AAAGGGHHH! MY LEG!"

Cody groaned, instantly awoken by the large ankle that was pressing down against his chest. He opened his eyes and quickly slid out from under the huge man, jumping to his feet as the figure curled up into a ball, grabbing his leg and moaning in agony.

"What the—" Cody stared down at the man for a moment, first looking confused before his eyes went wide as saucers.

"...Santa?"

(A small town near Toronto, Ontario)

Gwen was lying in bed, unable to sleep, and surprisingly it wasn't because she was excited about Christmas the next day.

She groaned, throwing her covers off of her head to glance at her alarm clock again. 11:56 PM. She cursed; dang it, how was she supposed to get up ridiculously early the next morning if she couldn't even get to sleep now? ! Christmas was the one day each year when she was willing to wake up before dawn like a ridiculous little kid, and it was the last day she wanted to spend grumpy and tired. She wanted to have a nice holiday with Mom, and Kevin, and Duncan...

...who wasn't going to be there...

She let out another groan—more like a growl, really—as she threw the covers over her head again and curled up into an angry ball, another jolt of adrenaline coursing through her body.

Christmastime was Gwen's favorite part of the year. Some of her family even liked to joke (in an annoying sort of way) that December was the one month when you could always find Gwen acting happy instead of her "normal, grumpy self." She couldn't say that she enjoyed the long lines or the huge dent this season always made in her wallet, but it was true: if she got her shopping done early and people didn't go out of their way to annoy her (mostly by telling that joke), she was liable to spend the last half of the month happily enjoying the festivities and wasting time with her friends and brother in front of the TV, laughing at all the ridiculously clichéd specials and tearing up during The Grinch (shut up, you know you do it too).

Duncan, it turned out, was just the opposite. Instead the holidays seemed to turn him into nothing but a massive Scrooge.

The thing was, Gwen could sympathize—while Christmas was an exception for her, in general she and Duncan had similar reactions to people acting all ridiculously, phonily happy, so she could understand why his phone calls were getting increasingly grumpy as the season wore on. She spent a lot of time trying to cheer him up—and, when he went off on a rant one day about how both his older brothers were both coming home this year (one with a wife and kids in tow) and how crowded the house was going to be, Gwen invited him to stay with them instead. And it had seemed like such a perfect idea—Gwen's mom had agreed to it despite being obviously wary, Duncan's parents had agreed to it even though his mom didn't like the idea of him being away during the holidays, and even Gwen's brother had avoided ranting about it much more than she had expected (though when their mom mentioned him and Duncan sharing a room, he had angrily informed Gwen that this counted as her Christmas present for the next "twenty years to life"). She had really been looking forward to spending her favorite time of the year with Duncan, and hopefully making it a little better for him as well.

She still couldn't recall exactly how the fight had gone down. He had just been ranting on the phone, as usual...he had mentioned something about an extra aunt coming to his house or something, and she had just reminded him that he would be with her much-smaller family for the holiday, and then he said something about not wanting to drive across three provinces for such a stupid holiday anyway...Gwen had taken offense to that, of course (granted, she wanted Duncan to come, but the offer had been to help him), and then it had just sort of exploded from there, until Duncan had angrily screamed that he wasn't coming and she had said that the invitation had expired anyway, and the two had slammed down the phone and poof, Gwen's whole build-up to the big day was totally ruined.

It was so stupid that they had fought.

And it was so stupid that she actually wanted him there.

And it was especially stupid that she was so wrapped up in this mental debate that she couldn't even get to sleep!

Gwen turned over again, glancing at the clock just as it hit 12:00 AM. Ugh. It was officially Christmas already. Man, she was either gonna sleep in or be tired all day, and either way—

She heard a noise, a loud BUMP!, coming from the living room.

Gwen froze, her ears perking up. For a moment her limbs stiffened in surprise—then relaxed, as the obvious solution came to her: Mom was setting presents out. She rolled her eyes before closing them again. Of course. Yet another sign she should be asleep already...Mom always made a big deal of ushering them into bed early on Christmas Eve so that "Santa could come," even going so far as to shut herself in her bedroom early...another dumb family ritual, even Kevin was old enough to have figured out the whole "Santa" thing years ago, but she just kept pretending that it was someone other than her who was up past midnight on Christmas Eve, setting up the amazing display of bright boxes and packages—

BANG!

"YOW!"

Gwen sat up instantly, eyes going wide as she heard the scream.

That voice was definitely male. And it didn't really sound like Kevin's, either.

Gwen hesitated for just a second, then jumped out of bed, kicking at the floor to find her slippers before quietly slipping out of her room.

The first thing Gwen noticed when she glanced down the hallway was her brother standing by the threshold, looking into the living room. She breathed a sigh of relief—until she realized that he was holding a baseball bat and had pressed his body against the wall. Oh crap.

"Kevin?" she whispered.

He jumped and spun around, raising the bat—then breathed a sigh when he saw her. She scuttled over behind him, trying to peer over his shoulder. "What's going on?" she hissed.

"I don't know. There's some guy in our living room."

"What kind of guy? !"

"The fat and jolly kind!"

"What? !"

He motioned into the next room, and Gwen glanced around him, trying to see...then her jaw dropped when she saw the figure, in full red-and-white Santa regalia, hopping on one foot with his back to them.

"What the..."

The two siblings watched as "Santa" gingerly put his foot back on the floor; for some reason he was missing the prerequisite big black boots, and instead wore a pair of slippers shaped like Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer (though the nose seemed to have burnt out). A big black bag was spilling packages onto the floor beside him, and apparently, "Santa" had dropped one onto his foot; they watched as he picked it up from the ground, then placed it under the tree, muttering indistinctly.

Gwen turned to Kevin. "Okay, who is that? !"

"Like I know? ! Why do you think I'm hiding over here with a baseball bat? !"

"You don't think it's Mom, do you?"

"Mom? Gwen, even she's not that nutty! ...I think. And besides, didn't you hear him yell? That's definitely a dude in there."

"Well..." Gwen peered at the man again, who was now bent over by the tree, pulling more presents out of the large black sack. His back was still toward them, but he was right, it definitely wasn't their mother—the guy was too short, for one. "...Maybe it's someone she hired?"

"Hired?"

"Yeah, like—I don't know, a fake? In case we wake up and she wants to take this whole 'Santa' charade way, way too far?"

"Okay, you're really reaching here."

"Well, who do you think it is? !"

"Honestly? I think it's that stupid boyfriend of yours."

"Duncan? Why the heck would you think it's him? !"

"Well, he's used to breaking into people's houses, isn't he? !"

"Ugh—that's stupid, Kevin! Or at least...I think it is." Gwen thought for a moment—actually, that did make some sense. Duncan sort of had a thing for ridiculous stunts of questionable legality—heck, she'd had to tell him off before for trying to shoplift her presents, so she could kind of see "reverse burglary" as the sort of weird romantic gesture he'd try. Maybe he was sorry about their fight...

"I hope it's him," Kevin muttered.

Gwen blinked, broken out of her thoughts. "Really?"

"Yeah! I'd love a good excuse for hitting him upside the head with this baseball bat."

"Ugh!" She gave him a push on the shoulder—he hit the wall and pushed back, though not as hard.

The Santa figure paused as if he heard them; both siblings froze, breath caught in each throat. "Santa" listened for a moment, then went back to work, putting more stuff under the tree, shuffling on his knees to find more spots. He began to hum softly to himself, his notes stuttering nervously.

Humming? "That's not Duncan," Gwen said, shaking her head sadly. Then she blinked, turning to him. "Maybe it's Dad."

"Dad? !"

"Yeah! Remember, he did the whole 'dress up as Santa in the morning' thing once?"

"Gwen, we haven't seen Dad in, like, nine years!"

"Well, you come up with a better explanation!" she said, throwing up her hands.

"...Well, if it is Dad, I'm still hitting him with the baseball bat."

"Well, then go do it, then!"

"Huh?" Kevin suddenly blanched. "No way, you go do it!"

"Oh, what happened to Mr. Baseball Bat, huh? !"

"Mr. Baseball Bat is only fifteen, he's too young to die! You kicked a serial killer in the jaw once, you can't handle jolly old St. Nick? !"

"Well, you're the man of the house!"

"Oh, so when I try to veto your boyfriends you get all feminist, but when there are cockroaches or axe murderers around, suddenly we're back to the 1950's? !"

He made a face, but then turned around and hefted the baseball bat again, annoyingly aware that Gwen had said just the right thing to guilt-trip his overly-protective tendencies. "Well, you at least come with me," he grumbled. "I'll need that high kick of yours to keep this guy busy after he, you know, stabs your baby brother in the chest or something."

"Fine, whatever!"

The two crept around the corner, walking as quietly as they could toward the Santa figure. Gwen was shaking fearfully as they approached—but then, all "Santa" seemed to be doing was putting out presents. Not that that necessarily meant he wasn't some sort of deranged psychopath plotting to kill them...when they were just a few steps behind him Kevin and Gwen exchanged looks, silently asking each other just what they should do—

—when "Santa" suddenly stood from his kneeling pose, turned around and jumped in surprise at their presence.

"Agh!"

"AAAGGGHHH!"

The siblings screamed, and out of sheer instinct Kevin raised the baseball bat and slammed it down on the mysterious figure's head. "Santa" let out another cry of pain as he fell onto one knee, his hat falling off onto the floor. He gasped, hands on his head as he chanted "Ow ow ow ow ow—"

Gwen blinked several times in rapid succession as Kevin dropped his jaw, flabbergasted. "What the—Cody? !"

"Gah—Gwen? !" He shakily rose, stumbling backwards until his heels bumped into the presents he had just deposited under the tree. "Wha—what are you going here? !"

"This is my house! What the heck are you doing here? !"

"I, uh—your house?—um—" His eyes darted every which way, as though hoping to find an answer somewhere in the present-filled living room. "I, um—j-just—gah, why did I forget the stupid Destirring button? !—duh, gah—"

"Answer the freaking question!" Kevin snapped. Now that he was at least moderately sure they weren't in danger his patience had broken, and the fact that he primarily knew Cody as "that weird guy who stalks my sister" wasn't really coloring this situation in a sympathetic light for him. He raised the baseball bat again, making Cody stumble further backwards and trip, squashing a present under his red velvet backside as he fearfully held up his hands.

"It's not my fault!" he screamed, and Gwen winced, eyes instantly darting towards her mother's bedroom before returning to her terrified former teammate. "I didn't—Santa drafted me!"

"What? !"

"I just—sleeping! I was—sleeping on the floor, in the living room, my, my grandmother's living room, in her condo—there were only two guestrooms, and between my parents and aunt and uncle and cousins somebody had to sleep out there, and then—he tripped over me, and broke his ankle, and—"

"Who? ! Who tripped? !"

"Santa! And then a bunch of elves showed up—"

"Elves? ! Cody, we're being seri—"

"—and they took Santa away, and—they said they'd get other people to deliver the presents, but there weren't enough, so they said I had to do the rest of Canada, and—I've already been at this for hours and I'm not even out of Ontario yet, and I keep forgetting to use the Destirring thing to make sure everybody's asleep, and—dogs attacked me—" He pulled up his pants leg, which was tattered at the end "and I don't know what I'm doing, and I am sick of cookies and milk at this point, if I eat one more I'm going to barf, and—"

He suddenly went silent in the middle of his rant, eyes darting from one disbelieving sibling's face to the next. He blinked, and suddenly seemed to realize how insane he sounded. Kevin still had his baseball bat poised at the ready, and was weighing the question of whether or not to use it. Gwen looked utterly confused and utterly ticked off at the same time.

Cody just stared at them for a moment, then coughed, clearing his throat.

"Um...and what I mean by that is, uh...that...this...is a dream! Woooooo!" He held up his hands and wiggled his fingers at them, slowly inching off of the present he was sitting on. "So, um...you two should just...go back to bed, uh—you know that they say, go to sleep and...the morning will come sooner...yeah, um...sugar plums and so forth...um...goodbye!"

Without warning he shot forward—the two sibling jumped back in surprise as he grabbed his Santa hat from the floor, then suddenly darted to his feet, making for the unlit fireplace. Without thinking Gwen and Kevin both shot after him—they caught up just as he looked like he was about to shove his head in, quickly stabbing his finger beside his nose and giving a curt nod.

"Get back here—"

"Stop—"

Gwen dove for Cody and grabbed onto the woolly white cuff of his costume—Kevin managed to grab his tattered ankle—

—and then, before either sibling knew what was happening, all three of their bodies seemed to melt, bones dissolving, and some invisible force was suddenly pulling them towards the hearth.

"What the—"

"AGH!"

In less than two seconds the three had been sucked into the fireplace, leaving the room empty except for presents, decorations and an uneaten tray of cookies and milk.

A/N: Not sure when I'll be able to update this, but I'll try for soon. In the meantime I hope you enjoyed, and please review!