My Enemy, My Friend
K9: The First
Neon Genesis Evangelion: GAINAX.
This idea: Meh, mine and a bunch of people's on SpaceBattles.
4.4 Billion Years ago
"Okay, tell me what happened here."
"Not much to say really. Some ya-hoo newbie in the Trajectory Department must've misplaced a decimal or forgot to carry the one or somethin'. The Black Moon down there was supposed to go to the fourth planet in this system, but it was moving faster than it needed to be and just off course enough to miss it entirely and smack into this one. And from the footage it looked like it was a near miss to boot."
"Ah great. We're lucky it didn't obliterate the planet or miss it and head straight into the star. These things are expensive pieces of equipment ya know?"
"Yeah, but you gotta admit: It's a nice moon the collision made. The potassium in its crust will make for plenty of light when it's full, and the gravitational forces once it drifts off enough will make for weather patterns and tides that can only help life."
"That doesn't change the fact that this is supposed to be a White Moon planet, not a Black Moon, and you know regulations: no single planet can have both a White Moon and a Black moon. Remember XJ9-78-SOL? We can't have that again."
"Well, what're we supposed to do?"
A sigh. "You're sure that there's no way to excavate the Black Moon?"
"Positive. The impact embedded it too far into the planet. In fact, it seems that it skipped the first thirty-million years in its preparation process, right now it's about equal with the White Moon in fact."
"And its control rod?"
"Shot beyond repair I'm afraid."
"Joy. All right: Contact He'Bon and tell 'em that we got a GarOEed-108 here, and have them redesignate this as a Black Moon planet. Then deactivate the White Seed. We'll come back in a couple billion years to make sure everything is sticking, then we'll plant the instruction manual somewhere and hope that any intelligent life that evolves that finds them'll follow the directions."
"And then?"
"And then: Paper work. Three cycles-worth of paper work."
"Great. You know what I don't get? Why we bother with the manuals. Don't you think telling ignorant children with the Fruit of Knowledge about the possibility of gaining our abilities is a bad idea?"
"Oh please. Those instructions were carefully worded to let anyone who reads their contents know exactly how bad things would get if a White Moon-Derived entity and a Black Moon-derived entity were to meet. If they're smart they'll listen to those with more knowledge and power than themselves."
"And if they aren't?"
"…"
The Mariana Trench, the Challenger Deep: Present Day
At six-point-eight miles below sea level, the Challenger Deep is the lowest point on the planet. No light reaches here, and only the hardiest of life can withstand the crushing waters.
So it comes to no surprise that the building-sized, orange iridescent egg had never been seen before by human eyes in the fifteen years it had rested here, unmoving. Until now.
Without warning, the darkness was pierced by a blinding orange light. As all life forms at this depth had no eyes none were disturbed by the suddenly brilliance. However, the rumbling and shifting of the giant egg certainly did. In minutes the smooth shape of the egg was destroyed as the now distinguishable dark form within punctured the thick tissue with a glowing pink lance.
In moments the shell was destroyed, the former embryo within absorbing it like a chick would its yolk before the red orb in its chest glowed, powering the two-hundred foot high form until the Light of its Soul solidified its chosen form. Spindly legs sank deep into the centuries old muck, lanky arms ended in a tri-symmetrical hand, an exo-rib cage covered the outer surface of its chest, and a bony white, bird-like mask formed its face.
So, I'm the first to start eh? It thought to itself. Rock on. Now to… Where's dad?
It was a valid question. What was the point of a head start if the goal wasn't to be found? The White Progenitor was supposed to be waiting for him and his siblings to come to become one with him at the pole of the planet, and yet he was nowhere to be sensed.
Well… This sucks. Now wha-
As he was expanding his Overmind to broaden his search, the creature sensed something. Lights of the Soul. Trillions of them. Since the creature was able to hatch, it was obvious that one of its siblings had not achieved Complementation, which could only mean one thing.
A Black Progenitor is here too? SCORE!
A Progenitor was a Progenitor. The Black Seed would do just as well as the White Seed if the latter couldn't be found. An extension of its Soul's Light, and the dark green creature launched into the sea above, rocketing towards the surface, and triggering every AT-Field sensor in the South Pacific Area.
The Third Angel had awoken.
Shinji Ikari looked at the letter he got. The address said it was from his father. The jerk. Guy leaves his only son at the train station crying for his recently dead mother, and he expects said son to come just because he's told like some dog? NO! Didn't even bother using a full explanation of what he wanted either! Just blacked out everything on what was probably a One-Size-Fits-All generic letter and wrote "COME" on it. Well, after the disaster that was their "reunion" three years ago, Shinji Ikari wasn't going to do anything just because his father told him to! No siree! He wasn't even going to pack for at least a week! Well, five days. Three. …Two and a half?
Taking a red ink pen, the boy scribbled all over the letter and tore it and all its contents to tatters. It accomplished nothing, but it sure did feel good.
Oddly, one item did in fact escape the destruction, a white piece of paper about the size of a typical photograph. With a soft grunt in frustration at not even being able to finish his tiny rampage, Shinji picked it up and flipped it over. Seeing…
Hey Shinji! I'm going to pick you up! ;3
PS: Check these out!
'Why yes Big Boobied Lady I think I shall.'
But wait, a portion of his mind whispered, why settle for a picture when you could go to Tokyo-3 and sneak a peek at the real deal? Clearly the woman knows nothing of the concept of 'modesty,' so maybe somehow someway you'll get to see the whole package!
But then, going to Tokyo-3 meant meeting his father again for whatever he wanted. And seriously, who would really send such scandalous photos to a minor anyway? Given Shinji's luck, this woman was probably some kind of meiko-like figure in terms of modesty and chastity, and his father just photoshopped her face to some model's figure, including it in the package to tempt him if the order didn't work. And dammit it was working.
'Let's see… Refuse to go and see what my father wants, or go for the off chance of seeing if this big boobied woman is for real…' Hmmm, it was certainly a conundrum. There was dad, but on the other hand there was boobs. Dad, or boobs.
Dad.
Boobs.
Dad.
Boobs.
Dad?
Boobs?
…
Boobs. Definitely boobs. No way a young man could go wrong with boobs.
Huh. This is interesting. The Third Angel thought to himself as he gazed at the shapes along the beach, and those floating about him as he waded towards shore. To him they were no bigger proportion-wise to toys, these constructs of the Black Moon creatures. He detected no organ within them, and yet there were many Lights of the Soul, albeit extremely weak ones, inside them.
Okay, these things have a lot of Souls' Lights coming from them, but they're so weak they can barely maintain their ego-barriers and forms. How're they gonna fight me for Complementation if they can't even-
A barrage of shells from the warships and the tanks hit him in the face and body.
What the-? Stop that! He said, even as the missiles exploded against his hide, his gills and his face.
For several long minutes the assault continued as scores of tons of ordinance was lobbed at him, and the Angel simply stood there, waist deep (to him) in the ocean, taking it until they all ran out of ammo.
…Ya done? That's it? Seriously? Ya know what, screw it. Bam.
Without a movement, with barely a thought, the Angel's eyes flashed, and the landscape before him exploded. Thousand-ton ship hulls were tossed like bath toys, and tank husks cast aside like leaves in the fall.
An entire division's worth of men wiped off the face of the earth.
Yeah. See that? That is what the progeny of a Seed should be able to do. Now, if you'll excuse me kids, I'm off to go plow your Mom.
Shinji sat alone in the train car, swaying with the motions of the carriage and listening to his SDAT. Just looking at him, one wouldn't think he was nervous about seeing his father again. And if it weren't for the presence of his music (and a certain photo), the boy would've most likely been pacing up and down the center aisle of the car, wringing his hands and on the verge of hyperventilating. But no, with his music he could just banish the world from his mind and be at peace. And he was.
Until the train suddenly stopped.
Attention Passengers: Due to the state of emergency issued by the Ministry of Defense, all non-military trains are to cease until further notice. If you are expecting for someone to pick you up, please be sure to inform them of the change, and move in an orderly manner to the nearest shelter. We apologize for the inconvenience.
Stepping out of the car, Shinji noticed that there was quite literally no one there. The station was completely empty, and no signs whatsoever as to where a shelter would be.
"Great. Now what am I supposed to do? Where am I any way?"
According to the map of the rail line, he was at the city of Atami, about eight miles from Tokyo-3.
"...Just my luck. Why does all this happen to me?"
To generate narrative interest in the audience, but that's not important right now.
The best course of action would be to call the number he was given, let whoever was supposed to pick him up know where he was. Thing was he had no cell phone, and only had enough loose change for one call via payphone.
You can imagine his frustration at not being able to get through "due to the state of emergency."
D'AAAWWWWW! You guys are adorable!
And indeed they were. Grey flying things no bigger than his fist that made a humming sound as they flew about. The Third Angel certainly could've ignored them, hurtled the mountain and been on his way, but from what his senses could tell his younger siblings had yet to finish their development, so he had plenty of time.
The little guys glided along their jets at what was assuredly their fastest speed in reverse, and yet the Angel was able to keep up with them at a leisurely stroll down the valley. In the cockpits of the VTOLs, the pilots were getting anxious at the gargantuan monster closing in, knowing what happened to their comrades not ten miles away on shore. All of their trigger-fingers were getting itchy, but they were all told by the very top of command to hold their fire until ordered otherwise. Then, their radios crackled, the command was given, and the hellfire was unleashed.
Dozens of white trails crossed the skies from the missile magazine pods underneath the wings of the aircraft, streaking towards the abomination at bone-jarring speeds.
N'AAAWWWWW! You guys wanna spit at me too? The Angel cooed at his assailants, leaning forward as he did so. Okay, I'll even give you an easy-D'OHCRAPTHATHURTOWOWOW!
The force of the first blast knocked the Angel back with violent speed, its brethren quickly catching up and adding their own destructive force to the attack, their blossoms of fire igniting foliage and wiping out the surrounding infrastructure.
Okay little guys… That. Stings.
With deliberate, calculated movements, the Angel raised an arm, the bony spike at the end of its elbow glowing a malevolent magenta, before the spike, and the whole ulna attached to it, shot out from the palm and into the lead VTOL, sending it spiraling down once the Lance of Light was retracted.
Okay Moon pebbles, I'm done foolin' around here. I'm gonna become one with the Black Progenitor and that's that. I'm outta here.
With a thought, the Angel's Light of the Soul coalesced into a ring above its head, and another portion was forced downwards, launching the massive body into the air, to come crashing down nearly half a mile away, he never noticing that he stepped on the VTOL he downed seconds before, and under a renewed barrage, made pointless by his now raised AT-Field, he almost stepped on the tiny boy that would be his slayer in a few short hours, as well as his future guardian.
Looking up at a third barrage coming from his right, the Angel saw more planes and an over-sized missile coming straight for him.
Yeeeeeaaaaahhhhhh no.
A raised hand, and the missile almost as big as he smashed into his palm, the forward momentum and the rocket motors forcing the failed attack onward like a WWI cavalry charge against machinegun nests, with the same results. This particular missile was intended as a mostly kinetic weapon, its mass and momentum intending to cause the most damage, therefore it was mostly an empty shell, thus the Angel's fingers split the shell into tri-symmetrical pieces before the fuel tanks for the rockets exploded.
What a load of BS.
Miles above the slaughter circled a bomber, on loan from the UN. In its bomb bay was a single canister-shaped object that took up most of the available space. Its ordinance was not found in most weapons of its kind. In the global turmoil that was the six months of near total anarchy following Second Impact, new explosive compounds were developed that could produce the same yield of destructive power as even the mightiest nuclear warheads, without the long-lasting effects of radioactivity and fallout. In fact the first bomb to see use was on the ruins of Old Tokyo, effectively killing off the last remnants of the Pre-Impact government trying to limp along in the flooded city. The destruction was so absolute that the other nations flocked to the reorganized UN to sign what would become the Valentines' Day Treaty of 2001.
An N2 Mine.
"Santa. This is North Pole. You have permission to Deliver The Toys at the following coordinates."
Within twenty minutes, the plane was in position, the bomb bay doors were opened, and the clamps securing the mine to the plane were released with a shuddering clank. Slowly at first, the weapon slid backwards until it ran out of decking, a comparatively small parachute keeping it from tumbling uncontrollably through the air, then, a quarter-mile above ground, the main 'chute deployed, allowing the N2 Mine to come to rest on the ground, just to the side of the road.
"North Pole this is Santa, Delivery has been made. Repeat: Santa has made the Delivery."
Another barrage from his right. The Angel turned towards his retreating attackers to follow. Little did he know that he was being lead.
Yeah you better run ya little wusses! I swear when I get my hands on ya I'll-
The Angel then realized that he stepped on something.
Huh? What th-?
Shinji Ikari was more or less your typical teenage boy, sans the parent issues relating to both sexes of course. That meant that he often fantasized about certain aspects of the female anatomy, and what one could do with them during certain, ahem, "activities," and thus rarely avoided a chance to admire them. Barring of course times when he would've been caught.
At the moment, the boy was given a bit of a difficult decision: look at the pendant on the necklace of the woman who distractedly called herself Misato Katsuragi, or her lovely breasts that were dangling teasingly in front of him (which had turned out to be very, very real).
It might be for the best that we back up a little. After they escaped the being that young Ikari dubbed "Godzilla's ticked off baby brother," Ms. Katsuragi drove until her care stated to run low on power. After which she pulled over and produced a pair of binoculars from under her seat. Then, she leaned across the car to the point of almost lying in Shinji's lap, saying something about wanting to get a better look, while at the same time, knowingly or not, putting the boy in a very… Interesting position.
We good now? Good.
So Ikari was faced with a bit of a dilemma: Look at a woman's jewelry, or her bust that his nose was all but stuck in. Now, he could simply give in to his base urges, but if he was caught looking at her necklace, then the woman would presumably have a higher opinion of him, allowing her to be a bit more relaxed around him, that would presumably allow for more opportunities to take advantage of in the future.
As much as Shinji would've hated the fact being brought to his attention, in many ways he really was his father's son.
It was decided then. Necklace now, boobies later. Surely fate would be kind to those that took the High Ro-
"AH CRAP! They're gonna use an N2 Mine! GET DOWN!"
And indeed Fortuna was very kind. A delicious taste of Heaven…
Followed by a sucker punch of Hell.
Fate may be kind, but she's still a royal bitch.
Ohhhhhhh…. Ow. Wh-what happened? Wh-what the? Why can't I see? Am I blind? Oh Dad, I'm dead aren't I? Ah crap! I shoulda gone with Sandy's idea of being a Lava thing, but nooo! 'She's crazy!' we said, 'a total space-case!' we said. Well look who's laughin' now Sacky? IT SURE AIN'T YOU! I gurgeshuse-cough-cough
Ohhh, what now? Is, is that light? It is! Then that means I'm alive! WOOT! But why wasn't I-
Oh. Oh no. Oh no you guys did not do what I think you did. You did not go and kill my face. Now I gotta grow a whole new one! Do any of you realize how long it'll take for me to completely regrow my face and how long it'll take the old one to break off? An-Oh perfect. You fused my gills together you douchebags!
It'll take me hours for me to be able to heal enough where I'm able to freakin' move without piercing pain!
The Third Angel stood stock still in spite of his ranting, It would be best to expend as little energy as possible. The Fruit of Life within his chest may produce an infinite amount of energy to use, but like a faucet opened all the way, only so much could be used constantly at once.
A buzzing sound came from above. Turning his new, hidden eyes towards it, the Angel saw one of the Black Moon things circling him. Tauntingly. Flitting around his head out of his reach.
STOP MOCKING ME!
A burst of energy from his eyes, and the chopper that dared to mock him was no more.
That's it! No more Mister Nice Guy! Come sundown I'm gonna crack open the Black Moon and I'll freakin kill you all!
It took over three hours before he could move so much as a hand without gripping pain, let alone his whole body. Fortunately the more he healed the quicker the process became, and within two hours the Angel was on the move.
So there she is. The Angel said, shoulders heaving with each still-pained breath. The Black Progenitor. Dad's opposite. …Let's get it on sweetheart.
A blast of light, and the surface in the center of the Black Moon-derived city erupted in light and energy. The damage done revealed that the Angel only penetrated a few dozen feet into the soil before stopping at a thick armor plate.
Damn.
Another blast. And another and another and another. The Angel paused in his attack to let the dust settle.
Did I get through? I think I got through. Okay. Let's go. …Nice and easy nowwwwwWWWWW!
The creature took a few tender steps down the face of the mountain, but his still injured ankle gave way at an incorrect angle, sending him tumbling down to the valley floor.
Ya know what? I think I'll wait a few minutes. I've got time.
Shinji was pensive yet determined as he sat in the water-no, LCL, whatever that meant-filled plug. At least, outwardly he was.
Inwardly he was screaming like a little girl, chanting such phrases as "OHSHITOHSHITOHSHITI'MGONNADIEI'MGONNADIEI'MGONNADIE!" and "I'm still a virgin!" over and again in his mind. Don't laugh, you would too if you knew that you were off to fight the giant monster that you just saw take the most potent conventional weapon man had to offer to the face, and kept coming.
But it was going to be okay. He was in a Giant Robot! And his dad was there, so nothing really bad was gonna happen right?
Right?
…Yeah. He was gonna die. And no one would mourn him. It's a sad commentary on one's life when one thinks such a thought, especially at the tender age of fourteen. But when one has been raised in near-negligent conditions by barely caring relatives and their teacher neighbor after being abandoned by their father, a person tends to gravitate to depressing thoughts. Which really isn't conductive to successful socialization.
A tiny tear leaked out of Shinji's eye, dispersing into the LCL without recognition. Fourteen years of no meaning, no excitement, no friends, and this was how it ends?
So be it.
Good grief if Black Moon-derived organisms aren't tiny.
Strolling through the empty city, the Angel walked towards the hole he made in the earth, ready to continue his expedition.
It was nice in a way to take a break from walking and fighting, just laying on the cool ground, looking up at all the pretty lights up in the sky. A momentary bout of melancholy struck the Child of Water as he reflected on things.
After becoming One with the Progenitor, he would be no more. All that made him would be wiped clean, a vague nothingness after death. But, his essence would be preserved in the ecosystem that would be produced in the Impact, with his species as the dominant one. Songs, if they could be called that, would be sung of their ancestral Father dying for them to know existence.
Still, in his brief life, knowing that it would be over soon, made him wish he had… A friend.
Suddenly, a square of red light shown on the street to his right. Turning to face it, the Angel saw part of the street open up, and from the depths of the Black Moon rose a giant.
Bipedal, purple and green with the face of an Oni, the titan of the Black Moon was a frightening visage to behol-
Well hello hello! Hey babe, how's it goin'? If you don't mind my sayin' so, you are fine, you're even makin' my Core glow baby. For real, I would seriously tap Dat Ass.
The titan's shoulders slumped as it was released from its cage, and took a single step forward.
It's a shame one of us has to kill the other to attain Complementation though, cause if I had the right equipment I would totally do you. Hey I know! How about after I trounce you, you 'n' me complement with your mom together! Maybe you'll generate a derived species for mine to share the planet with. Who knows, we might even be cross-compatible. Wink wink.
No sooner had the words left his metaphorical mouth had the giant fallen flat on its face.
…So is that a no? Oh well. Either way I gotta get you outta the way. Nothing personal madam Bootylicious, it's just something that's gotta be done. Now get up, let's do this…
…You okay? …Oh come ON! You mean that's it? You're an even worse fighter than the first guys I met woman!
With mechanical movements, the Angel grabbed Unit-01 by the head, palm flush against its head. Then, he grabbed the titan's arm with his free hand and began to pull, squeezing the arm as he did so.
Seriously. What is it with you Black Moon things? Some of you have enough power to bring me close to the brink of death, and the rest don't have jack squat! If this is what the Fruit of Knowledge has to offer, I ain't bitin'.
With a sickening crunch, the arm of the titan went limp.
See? See that? This is what I'm talking about. Dad Dammit…
Sorry Babe, hate to do this to your pretty face, but I gotta. Maybe it would've helped if you weren't so-
BLAM!
Lame.
BLAM
Lame.
BLAM!
Lame.
BLAM
Lame.
Finally, the assault was successful. The Angel's Lance of Light pierced through the back of the skull, and carried Unit-01 hundreds of feet back until it slammed into a building, the limp arm slamming onto the roof of the adjacent building. With the withdraw of the lance, Unit-01's head lulled forward, hundreds of gallons of blood firing out both ends of the wound like a jet stream.
You know, I kinda feel bad about that. Still, I like the idea of dragging her to the Black Progenitor and complimenting with the both of them. Pro'lly won't be able to breed, but hey at least she looks nice.
Suddenly, Shogoki's remaining eye blazed like phosphorous, she wrenched her jaws open, and flung her head back with an enraged roar.
With lightening quick movements she squatted down, and flung herself into a somersaulting jump at the Angel.
WHAT THE HELL?
Shogouki landed on the Angel's chest, her one undamaged hand clawing at the bony second face.
The Angel quickly latched onto his assailant, one hand landing on her back-side, subconsciously noting that she was, indeed, bootylicious.
Get. Offa me bitch!
With a mighty heave the Angel managed to fling Shogouki away, a distinctive popping sensation splaying a wave of pain on his new face.
Oh. Oh great. Thank you. Now I gotta grow a whole new face! Again!
But his assailant wasn't listening. Standing up from where she landed, Shogouki rejoined her assault, only to be stopped by the Angel's knee-jerk deploying of the Light of his Soul in its basic-most application: a wall.
Yeah! What now ya dumb broad? What now? Can't get ta me? Well tough! You can't even get through here with that damaged arm you just healed your arm… Dang that was fast.
Uhh… Well, that doesn't mean you'll be able to get thro-! …Well. My face is red. Ummm uh, well uh…. BLAM!
OH YEAH! Take that! Point blank, full power baby! No way anyone could've survived that it was totally bada-!
Shogouki slumped forward as the blast subsided, raising her head to look the Angel square in the eye, growling like a rabid dog.
…Oh. Poopy.
Before her opponent could react, Shogouki quickly grabbed onto one of the Angel's wrists, than the other in the same hand.
Woah woah woah! Waitaminute what are you d-
And twisted in a full 180 degrees, breaking the bones.
Ow my arms!
And then kicked her opponent, sending him flying even as she held his hands.
Ow my stomach OOF-!
The Angel came to rest slumped up against a pseudo-building, and could only watch as Shogouki body slammed into him, resulting in her straddling his waist when they came to rest. Gripping the exposed portions of his rib cage, she began to pull…
Look lady, I swear I'm not into gurroooOOWWOWWWWW!
And wrenched it open, giving her not only a clearer shot at her target's core, but also a weapon in the form of a bone shard. With savage ferocity, Shogouki raised the improvised weapon above her head, and slammed the more pointed end against the Angel's core.
Nothing.
She raised the shard and stabbed the crystalline sphere again, this time producing a crack. With a sigh that almost seemed pleased, the monster rose her weapon over her head once more and pushed through the attack in earnest.
Uh oh. The Angel said, knowing exactly what was happening. Woah-no lady! I ain't goin' down now! Not after all the mess your kind's put me through today!
With a leap using the last of his strength, the Angel encased Shogouki in his body, core flush with her face.
It'll take a couple days to regrow my body from this, but Shammy's not due for a couple weeks at least! I'm gonna take you out if it's the last thing I d-Oh wait I just over clocked my core. And my core's damaged…
And it was true. Deep within the core, in the Fruit of Life, he could feel the perpetuating spirals that produced the infinite energy that powered him beginning to wobble, the mathematically perfect curves becoming out of focus.
…I didn't think this th-
The explosion shot up to the stars above, a cross beam shooting out from the sides. The glow of the blast itself could be seen as far away as Okayama, and sensors as far away as Seoul could pick up the sound of the explosion.
The Third Angel was dead.
…Physically at least.
On the remnants of a nearby building, a tiny figure sat, watching the titan as it stood there alone on the battlefield, alone, with no movement for almost half an hour.
Then, from under the street came a bunch of humans, none any higher than Unit-01's ankle, if that. With them were cranes and large circular devices with rods as thick as Sequoia's coming out of them.
Using the cranes, the circular devices were bolted onto the knees, elbows, hips and shoulders of the giant weapon. Using another crane, humans in white were lifted up to the place where the neck and shoulders met, and a white cylinder rotated out and opened, where the human's pulled out a smaller one.
"Hmmm…" That was interesting. Two organisms that became one? But then, that wasn't so odd. Wasn't Israfel two beings that could become one?
Over the next two days, no one noticed the tiny, stylized figure following the Third Child around.
Shinji lay in bed, staring at the unfamiliar ceiling. Misato had just said that what he had done in Unit-01 was a "good, admirable thing." But... What did he do? The last thing he remembered was the Angel breaking his, Unit-01's... his, arm, the stabbing him in the eye and passing out. The next thing he remembered was waking up in the plug, watching as Unit-01, which isn't a robot at all, regrowing... its... Eyyyyyyeeeee...
Fetal position! Fetal position!
'I wanna run away! I wanna run away! I wanna run away! I wanna run away! I wanna run away! I wanna run away! I wanna run away! I wanna run away! I wanna run away! I wanna run away! I wanna run away! I wanna run away!'
"Oh would you grow up! You're alive Dad dammit!"
Shinji's wide eyes suddenly regained some semblance of focus. Was that a voice he heard?
"Hey! I'm talkin' to you kiddo!"
Slowly, eeeeeveerrrrrrr so slowly, Shinji turned his head. And there, hovering over his shoulder, at six-inches high, was a tiny, almost baby-like copy of the Angel he had killed not days ago.
Shinji began to hyperventilate. 'Oh man! I've gone crazy! What happened when I was out? What was in that plug water? I'm gonna die! The Angel's come back from the dead and he's gonna kill me!'
"Oh good grief. I'm not gonna kill you! You're not gonna scream are ya?"
"Wh-what do you want!" the boy squealed. There was really no other term for it.
"Well, I wanted to become One with the Black Progenitor under the city since I couldn't find the White Progenitor, you know, my dad. But hey! Looks like you beat me, so you guys get the chance for complementation, congrads!"
"...What?"
"You know, complementation? Fight off your fellow derived species, become one with your progenitor, well A progenitor, wipe out all your competition, reform the world with your kind as the dominant species? This ringing a bell? That is what you folks are gunning for, right?"
Shinji swallowed, it might be best to appease this little Angel. He didn't seem hostle at least. "Uh, n-not really. I've never heard of that before. W-, NERV is just fighting you Angels for survival."
The Angel put his hand to where his chin would be if he were human, seemingly in thought. "Hmmm, that's weird. But I guess that makes sense, since you folks seem to already be on top."
"Uh, what did you mean, anyway? By competition? Does that mean there are more of you?"
"Pretty much.
Shinji swallowed again at the prospect of having to fight an indefinite amount of giant monsters. "Well, how many?"
The mini-Angel shrugged. "Dunno. Ten? Twenty? When Dad got shut down by the Black Progenitor crashing into the planet, he was getting ready to spread our eggs to start off the contest. When he woke up a few years ago he just finished the job before going off the radar."
"Years ago... You mean Second Impact? Your Dad killed half the human race!"
"Meh, not surprised. It takes a lot of energy to sufficiently spread the eggs across the globe. Though if it makes you feel better, I only killed a couple hundred."
"...No, that doesn't help. But, what do you want?"
"Well, nothing much really. I lost the race, so I've got nothing better to do. Can I stick with you?"
"Me? Why? I'm no one special."
"Nothing special? Kid, you're the one that KILLED me! That's something right there. 'Sides, you seem like a pretty cool guy." He held out a tiny hand. "So what do ya say, pals?"
For several creeping moments, Shinji just stared at the tri-symmetrical appendage. One part of his brain said that this was a bad idea, a dozen cartoon shows and movies with his uncle told him that this was 'fraternizing with the enemy' and would affect his judgment later on.
But a larger part told him that this Angel didn't seem so bad, and that if he could become friends with him, then maybe this tiny Angel could convince his siblings to stop attacking, and live side-by-side.
For the first time, on this or any other planet in the cosmos, a Black Egg derived organism's finger tip came in contact with a White Egg derived organism's palm in a gesture of friendship.
"Cool. Name's Sachiel. They call you anything Kid?"
"Yeah. I'm, Shinji... Shinji Ikari." the young pilot smiled to himself, something telling him that this could be the start of a great friendship, the kind of interaction with another living thing he never had before.
"So, Shinji. Can I ask you something?" asked Sachiel as he settled on the boy's shoulder.
"Uh, sure. What about?"
"That other Black Egg organism you live with, is there something wrong with her? Sick or something?"
"Huh? Misato? What do you mean?"
The Angel gestured to his 'chest.'
"Well, her hips are wider than they proportionally should be using you as a baseline, and she's got these two huge tumors on her front."
Blood rushed to the teen's face, and 'other' regions.
"Uhh! A-actually, th-that's normal."
"Really? Then does that mean YOU'RE sick?"
"NO! I'm a boy. Male. Misato's a girl. A female."
"Male? Female? What kinda Moon-speek you usin' kid?"
Shinji never in his life expected to ever be in a position to explain the Birds and the Bees. Especially when he never got that talk himself, he mostly just figured it out himself via his school books.
"Well, most species here can't make babies on their own. So some members of a species carry the babies to term, and the rest fertilize."
Sachiel seemed to catch on.
"Ahhhh! Sexual Dimorphism! I see. I wonder why I didn't think of that?"
"What do you mean? Wouldn't your kind have men and women?"
"Naww. We would've been Semi-Asexual hermaphrodites. Gestation would've been triggered by crotch stimulation between two individuals."
Ikari was suddenly reminded of a movie he saw part of on accident late one night when he was eleven. It was all he could do to keep from nosebleeding.
"Say, are the tumors on all 'female's' fronts that big in proportion to their bodies?"
The boy swallowed his embarrassment.
"N-no! No not always! All people look different!"
"Huh, that's a shame, cause they look soft and warm. The perfect bed for guy's my size! Do you 'males' utilize them as pillows? Is that their evolutionary purpose?"
"N-no!"
"Then what? Aesthetics may have its place, but there's no way nature lets a Secondary Sexual Characteristic get that big without a damn good reason."
"Can we talk about something else?"
Meanwhile, Misato lay wide awake on the other side of the wall, listening to Shinji have a one-sided conversation with no one.
'I wonder if I should talk to him, or Ritsuko, about this? ...Nah, not now. But if it starts getting out of hand I'm definitely pulling him from piloting until we get him on some meds or something.'
Now before people start griping about quotations, I'll have you know that its intentional.
I'd like to thank EvaGeeks for their commentary on episodes one and two. Since I don't have the series (hoping for Christmas though), their analysis was invaluable in recreating the Sachiel scenes, and their commentary I was able to utilize into the scenes.