Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or any part of Eureka, nor am I making money off of this fic.
A/N: I was curious as to why Zane immediately thought something was wrong with Jo in s4 ep10, so I decided to write this. I was also startled by the lack of fics written for the holiday ep. So this takes place directly before and after the episode. Minor spoilers (I tried to keep it to a minimum.)
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Zane stepped off the bus and gratefully stretched his legs. The drive from the CalTech was really long, and he fought the urge to mutter something under his breath about budget cuts that prevented him from getting a flight back. He zipped his coat closed as he waded out into the bus depot parking lot, looking for the car Fargo had promised to have dropped off for him.
He had not expected to find that it was Carter's car waiting for him... with Carter still in it.
"Sherrif, what an unexpected pleasure," Zane chuckled, half in snarkiness and half in relief he would not be driving the two hours left to Eureka by himself.
"Hop in, Zane. There's a lot I need to tell you."
Zane's smile froze on his face while he got in to the car. Had someone gotten hurt? Zoe? Or... Jo? For some reason thinking that it might have been Jo was even more painful than his ex-girlfriend. Or maybe Eureka was just in danger again and this was his debriefing. One thousand and one possible disasters flitted through his head before Carter interrupted them with his opening remark.
"It's about Jo."
Zane had to focus on clicking his seatbelt into its holder, on anything other than that. Finally when he thought he could hear the bad news, he said "What happened?"
"Nothing recent. She hasn't been herself."
"I'll say," Zane muttered, relief trickling through him slowly.
Carter glanced at Zane sideways. "Yeah, about that. Go easy on her, okay? She's having a really rough time, and she is having difficulty adjusting to everything."
Zane perked up. "So there's nothing immediate? Nothing specifically that happened while I was gone? What is this talk about then? Is someone finally going to tell me what is going on?"
Carter did not look happy. In fact, he looked like he had swallowed something rather unpleasant. "Listen, Zane, what I am going to tell you is serious. It means the lives of five or six people if you tell anyone."
"Carter, I get it. It's a secret. I can keep a secret."
"Well I hope you can. While you were away things have gotten worse with Jo, and the rest of us decided we needed to tell you. She doesn't know yet we've decided to, but Allison is telling her today. It started on Founders Day."
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"You're doing what?" Jo stood up from the table, almost toppling the coffee and waffles she and Allison had been happily chatting over. Well, Allison had been happily chatting. Jo had been brooding.
"Jo, we all got together and thought it was time. He was going to keep pressuring you - and us - until he got his answers. Why do you think Fargo lent him out to CalTech all fall?"
Conscious of the stares she was getting form the other patrons at Cafe Diem, Jo reluctantly took her seat, although she was still tense and anxious.
Allison reached over and covered Jo's hand. "Carter isn't going to tell him anything about his relationship with you. Just the facts. If you want to go further and tell him more, that's up to you."
"There's nothing to tell," Jo said glumly. "Not anymore."
She had fallen into a pervasive depression recently. The only thing she had in her life now was her work, and she was not getting the same sort of satisfaction she used to out of it. And now that it was the holidays, it was getting even harder. She missed her family, and when she had been with Zane it was bearable, because she was not alone. But this year...
She shook her head, trying to clear it of sentimental goo. Screw the holidays. How hard would it be to just pretend it was any other time of the year? All she had to do was get through one little company party tomorrow and then she would be fine.
Jo was soon able to excuse herself from her breakfast date with Allison and headed out into the street. It was unseasonably warm, and she took off her suit jacket as she got into her car.
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Zane and Carter were just parking across the street as Jo got into her car. Zane motioned with his head over to Jo. "So... why is she having the hardest time with it, out of the rest of you?"
Carter turned off the car and got out, closing the door but leaning in through the window at Zane. "I thought you were supposed to be the rocket scientist. Now out of my truck. Zoe and I are heading home tomorrow and I need to pack up."
Zane slowly got out of the car, his eyes on Jo's little blue car speeding towards GD. He knew why she was having the hardest time out of all of them. It was because of him. He sighed, putting his hands into his pockets. He had hoped Carter would take the bait and tell him outright, but he supposed that was a conversation he needed to have with one Jo Lupo.
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Zane was hamming it up for the GD holiday party when he saw Jo cross her arms at him and glare. He scooted off of his Santa throne and caught up to her. "Hey, are you alright?" Jo had been avoiding him since he had gotten home yesterday, and he could see the tension around her eyes. The usual bounce she used to have that signaled she was enjoying her angry mood was gone, and now she just looked tired and unhappy.
She brushed him off with some condescending answer, but it was half-hearted at best. Carter was right; there was definitely something wrong with Jo. He had never thought before his concern would have been welcomed (or at the very least have avoided ridicule). But some of what Carter had told him yesterday gave him confidence that maybe he could try to talk to her again.
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Jo sighed as she stepped into her new house. The warmth she had felt being surrounded by all of her friends in Cafe Diem was beginning to fade. She smiled briefly at the enjoyment her friends had shared over her gifts to them, but it was not enough to keep her sadness at bay. She walked to her front windows and twisted the bulbs inside the candles resting on the sills. She switched on the fireplace with a remote, and then went to find her bottle of ouzo.
Outside, Zane saw the candles in her windows flicker on, her face briefly illuminated in the window as she leaned over. It surprised him still that somehow he was responsible for her happiness - or unhappiness. He knew logically that they must have cared a great deal for each other in her original time, but it still baffled him how she had come to care for him so much. He wondered if she still did.
Zane sucked in a deep breath of cold air, and crossed the street to her house. He hesitated briefly before he knocked.
It took a minute for her to come to the door, and when she did it was with a shot glass and a gun. She looked at him for a moment, and he could see she was trying to decide something. He tried to hide a grin as she threw back the shot and holstered her gun on the back of the door before opening the door wider.
"Why are you here, Zane?" she asked, but she had already turned away from him and was going back into her house. With the door still open.
Zane took that as his invitation, and he hurried in before she changed her mind. He shut the door tightly behind him, noting with amusement that the only adornment she had in her entryway was the gun and a strand of jingle bells off a nail on the doorframe.
"We haven't really gotten a chance to talk since I got home," he started. "And we probably should."
He followed her into the kitchen where she poured herself another shot. "I thought Carter told you everything." She finally looked at him, and he could tell she was trying very hard not to let any emotion slip past her icy facade.
"He left out very crucial pieces of information."
Jo crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows, trying to look stern. Zane could see, more than ever, that it was her tough exterior she tried to hide behind when things got too emotionally heavy.
"He didn't tell me why you decided I was no longer worth your time."
Jo's mouth dropped open in surprise. "What are you talking about, Zane?"
"I mean that apparently we had this amazing relationship," he took a few steps closer to her, noticing that she backed up only one step for every two he took forward, "and then you decide it's not worth trying to get it back or trying to restart it."
"But it's different," she shook her head, looking down, away, or anywhere that was not him. "You're different. You don't remember..."
"And neither did Henry, I'm told. But it looks like Grace gave him a chance."
Zane watched her press her lips tightly together, and waited until she finally looked up at him again. "So tell me, Jo-Jo. What did I do to make you not want to give me a chance?"
Something sparkled in her eye, a slight shimmer of wetness he had never seen before. She turned to go but his hand reached out and snagged her elbow, turning her into his chest as she tried to pivot away.
Jo was surprised that she ended up in his arms. It was a place she had tried not to think about for a very long time. She did not want to enjoy it, did not want to melt into his heat. She tried pulling away, but he held her fast and her energy gave out.
"I thought you were a fighter," he chuckled softly, but not in a mean way. Affectionate. Teasing. The way Zane used to be with her.
"It was too dangerous. You couldn't know..." she whispered back.
Zane reached one hand up to her chin, tilting her face so she looked up at him. "And what about now?"
She tried pulling away again, unsure of what would happen if she gave in to his insistent presence and pleading eyes. But instead of letting her go he pulled her close again and covered her mouth with his own.
She gasped in surprise, but within moments she was kissing him back.
When they stopped to breathe, Jo was finally able to extricate herself from his embrace. But once she was outside of it, looking at him with wide eyes, she was cold again. And wanted to be right back where she just had been. As if reading her mind, Zane reached for her again.
"Zane... what are we doing?" She asked hesitantly, taking a tentative step backwards.
"You were going to tell me why I'm not good enough for you now, and why the other Zane was."
She sighed, exasperated. She knew that he said those things to push her buttons so she would open up, but it did not mean they did not hurt when he said them. "It's not like that. We had both changed a lot as people while we were together. I don't know if I can go back to the way you are now, after..."
"After what? Becoming a better person? You can't bear to be with me before what, you made me respectable?" His voice was growing louder and he moved up in to her personal space.
"Before you loved me!" she yelled, moving right up to him again, glaring. Angry that he had made her confess that. "I can't bear to be around you when I know that you used to love me and now you don't!"
"Is that what this is about?" He ran a hand through his hair, the anger and tension leaving his body. "Come on, Jo-Jo. I've been in love with you since I got here. Maybe it started out as a crush. You know, when you were a hard-ass. But I'm completely crazy about you."
Zane was not sure if he had ever seen her stunning into silence before, but it appeared that Jo had not response. He shifted a little uncomfortably in her kitchen. "Do you mind if I take my coat off, Jo-Jo? I thought I might stay a little while. We could talk things over. I have some theories about why it was that only you five were pulled through. Carter wasn't much help in explaining things."
Zane took off his coat and moved into her living room, still chattering. He threw himself onto the sofa, affecting a rather contrived but heartfelt slouch. Jo had to blink and resisted the urge to pinch herself. Her pride wanted to kick him out and curl up under her covers. Her libido wanted to run and pounce on him. And part of her just wanted to see where this took her. She warmed a little as he started talking to her about science stuff in the other room, expecting she was listening and understanding it.
Trying to bite down on a smile, Jo picked up the bottle of ouzo and the shot glass and followed him into the living room.
