IDENTITY CRISIS

By: WhiteLiar24

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Chapter 2:

NATSUME's POV:

I was going at a leisurely gait towards the house of my 'employer' when this mischief happen to me. Of all the people, just how lucky am I to step on that juicy and pulpy tangerine... And my whole face be the target of a somewhat 4-inch stiletto's foot sole? God. I'm almost visiting hell in this situation.

Everything is really frustrating me! It all started when I ran away from home, wandered in the streets of Japan, met my 'homosexual' uncle, took the job offered as a maid-not a manservant, and this time... What the heck! I guess, the problems ahead of me will be a lot more perilous that it would probably drive me crazy.

I kept my cool. Well, that's something you can't take away from Natsume Hyuuga, my trademark, definitely. With my calm hands, I slowly took the heeled shoes off my poker face.

Indeed, this is only a small commotion. I know nothing will happen worst after this. Well, though not seeing it, I probably look stupid with the reddish trace of the shoes on my face. I can feel the heat in a particular shape.

'Whoa! My precious looks were almost shattered! Damn this ill-mannered wench.'

I dispersed the thought as I heard her footsteps approaching me in a rather fast pace. Probably, she'll say sorry and beg my forgiveness like the other fan girls. Of course, I'm very much proud with my good-looks. You can hypothetically conclude in a minute that, yeah, I'm... Well... A narcissist.

Any problem with that? I believe there's none. You can't blame me, with this (pointing at his face) I assume you've already fallen in love with me.

Anyway... There... She stood a few meters away from me. I hate to say this but I have to admit... She's surprisingly pretty. With her brunette hair and hazel eyes... The lady looks like a celebrity. But I don't give a damn to her, neither to any other ladies. Actually, I'm not interested. I just brush them off, seeing after a few minutes, they'll find another guy. What a hobby?

"Hey you!" she called me in a shouting manner.

She proved me wrong, as I thought she would be idolizing me. The fury in her eyes was of no hesitations. She must really be different from the other girls. Impressive.

I just stared at her with an eyebrow raised. I let her shoe drop to the ground, intentionally to mock her. She has this domineering aura that I hate, I mean, I have. So I decided to take the chances of seeing her angrier.

"YOU obnoxious BITCH! You're really testing my patience. Gosh. My shoe. Your life isn't worthy enough to pay for the damage you've done!" she vehemently yelled.

The exasperation in her eyes made me smirk. But I noticed something's wrong with her curses. If my ears didn't play with me, I heard her say... 'bitch'? Yeah. That word is supposedly for women! And I'm not one.

Oh on! I literally forgot that I'm currently a man in a woman's clothing. Crap! This isn't doing me any good. What should I do? This is obviously kicking the hell out of me.

'Alas! Maybe I should just run. It's my last choice, isn't it? So with my plans aborted, I prepared myself for a record breaking sprint.

I turned around not to face her and dashed to the direction I was actually heading to a while ago.

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I successfully managed to lose sight of the blabbering hag. Catching my breath, I can't believe I'm already at the front of the house I was looking for quite a long time. It fits the exact description of Uncle Narumi, well, I guess I need t...o double check.

I searched for the printed address in my bag and eventually found it. The paper says 'this is definitely the house' of my respective employer.

I can't say I was overjoyed because of that, for you all know I'm not yet ready... Not yet ready to serve others... To be a slave... And most especially, to be a maid! Can I keep the disguise til the end?

I knocked hard on the door. Once, twice, thrice and many many times until I reached my limitation and gave up. What if I'll just vanish from Narumi and the contract? It'll be easy to leave Japan if I only have enough money. Whoa. I'm getting insane.

But... HELL No!. I can't do this thing. So yeah, why not try? I almost ran, now to the direction I came from a while ago when I bumped into a 'somebody'.

I heard a loud 'OUCH' when that 'somebody' stumbled and fell to the ground. Being a gentleman, I offered my hand and helped that 'somebody' to stand up. But I was dumb struck when the lassie slapped my hand away. I took a look at her face and found out that she was the noisy one I met then avoided few minutes ago.

"You're following me, aren't you?" the wench blurted out as if it was obvious.

"Who's following who?" I asked, bored.

"Don't scare me with those voice and face of yours, WITCH." she declared with annoyance in her face and a mocking smile.

"WITCH?" My head lagged with the utterance of the word. I was thinking for about a minute or half when in the second time, I remember I should be pretending as a lady. I swear I'll never ever forget it.

And there, I decided to just go with the flow... I need money so badly... And this is the only way I get more than enough... But, I've got this big problem.

How should I act as one?

I practically forgot that I was facing the irritating maiden. She raised an eyebrow to me, looking from what you can say, head to toe-toe to head. I controlled my composure not to blow my cover. Then, a few seconds after, I was taken aback when she surprisingly spoke.

"So, tell me..." she demanded. I just let out a body language signifying that I'm ready to answer. "You, brat. What are you doing in front of this house?" she pointed to the bungalow my 'master' owns.

"Mind your own business." I said nonchalantly with the same poker face and my voice a bit... Ugh...

I frowned as I see a smile forming in her lips. The last thing I knew, she was rolling on the floor, laughing her ass out. What the heck with this girl? Just WHAT THE HELL!

"That was-laugh-really funny. Your voice-laugh-is hilarious. I just can't help-laugh-laughing." she said in between laughs. But then, I snapped it out when her expression changed in just a blink of an eye. Amazing. I wanted to ask her how she'd be able to do that. Well, I can't deny I'm envious of her... She can express what she feels whenever she likes.

"Weird lady... You're too tall, I can barely see your face. You seem like a model..." she complimented. I told you before, after they dressed and put the make up on my face, I swear I really looked gorgeous. "but," she cut my train of thoughts off, "I'm 10 times prettier than you." she butt in.

What a very CONCEITED girl? Well, I'm used to this when wenches try to seduce me but her approach is a lot more, well, humorous... than the others. Of course, you won't expect me to smile for all you know, I'm the expressionless Natsume Hyuuga. So I just shrugged the joke off.

Well, I guess she didn't like the way I respond to her statement.

"How pathetic. See, I don't look just like a model," she twirled around, "because, I'm a STAR."

"..."

"..."

"..."

Eeeeeeennnkkkk. I fought the urge to laugh. To be honest, I might consider her beautiful, but she really got the nerve to boast about that? I can't stop the grin that crept into my face. I bet she saw it, cause if not, she'll not be acting like the way she does now-executing her biggest revenge on me.

"So, I bet you forget to pay for my precious tangerine and my more precious shoe?" she declared in as a matter-of-factly tone.

"Hn." I replied with embarrassment marked on my face. Never did I encounter in my whole life a scenario as shameful as this.

"'Hn.' Is that all you can say? " she said, as if knowing what my problem is all about. "Anyway, would you care to answer my question?" she continued, "what could your reason be in knocking consecutively on that house's door?" again, she asked.

"Well," I began, "that's my new employer's house." I replied, a bit annoyed for getting verbose. I saw a glint of sparkle in his eyes but she unexpectedly hid it with a fake shocked expression.

"Oh! So you're the new maid she's talking about? Wow, you're lucky, girl. Your boss is awesome and fabulous! My god. Her beauty is overflowing and she has a kind nature. She's a step away from being perfect." she told me, with her arms clasped into a ball and held high in accordance to her sparkling eyes, fantasizing.

I could feel something peculiar with her attitude towards it, you might call it as instinct, but I just shrugged the feeling off, maybe I'm just over reacting. Is her attitude that contagious? Darn.

I decided to ask her about it. "So, what could be your relation to her? I knew nothing about her, except the fact that her name is-" she cut me off.

"Mikan Sakura,"

"Yeah-" she interfered again.

"Nice meeting you..." she offered a hand to me. I was surprised but kept it by myself.

My, my. I already told you! That's what I'm talking about! The heck with this hag! She had me fallen into her trap.

"Well, mark my word..." she retorted, then eventually continued, "I'll make your life a LIVING HELL."

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I am currently sweeping the floor covered with tiles of the dimly lit living room of my 'evil' employer. I really can't get over about what she said last time: "I'll make your life a LIVING HELL." Isn't that scary? For a lovely maiden, those aren't the right things to say. I still can't deny she's damn beautiful but her attitude over powered her physical characteristics.

By the way, her house is a little way too tiny in the outside but somewhat big once you're inside. Well, it's spacious to contain a living room, dining room, kitchen, bath room, and two bedrooms. Yet, I must say, I've never seen something worse than this one. Though the appliances may be complete, the interior design isn't that bad, and the placement of the furniture is well-organized... this is awfully, horribly, terribly, badly, and all the negative words you may gather won't be enough to describe the whole mess and dirtiness of every angle and corner of this house.

I was dumbfounded when I first found out how putrid it was. I placed a hand on my nose to prevent the pungent odor kill me. Seeing what I did, she raised an eyebrow and rolled her eyes. Then, the next thing I know, I heard her say, 'clean all of this'... or did my ears play on me? "A complete bullshit. Is this a kind of joke?" That's what I thought just a few hours ago.

And now, I found myself cleaning the 'bullshit' I was referring to a while ago. And there, I heard 'her' door shrieked open, revealing the brunette-slash-witch wearing a big t-shirt and baggy pants, her hair tied in a messy bun. She hurriedly headed to the kitchen getting something from the refrigerator. I didn't mind what she did next and continued what I'm doing.

I headed to the stock room, in my pursue of finding the vacuum cleaner for the carpet. When I finally found it, I headed straightly to the living room, seeing the 'witch' munching some crackers. I decided not to care and started my work.

I plugged the cleaner to the nearest plug and readied to switch it on. The carpet is located in between of the sofa and the love seat. A rectangular table is placed over it. I began the suction at the other edge of the square fabric cloth opposite the witch. I carefully tidied every spot, though I'm not an expert in using the device. After that particular side, I stood right beside the witch, and started the same chore.

When I already finished... The exact location I already cleansed now had crumbs of something. I glared at the witch and that cracker of hers. She seems serious but you can see the glint of satisfaction in her eyes.

I shrugged it off. I just wanted to finish everything for I'm not enjoying it... Not a single minute. So I walked passed it with the vacuum in front of me.

Now it's done... Or maybe not yet. I saw those flakes again. Crap! She's really annoying me. But what can I do, she's paying me all the money that I need. So I repeated the same process again and she repeated her antics again and I repeated the same process again and she repeated again until...

She's now struggling with her dear life as the vacuum eats her all alive.

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In my not so fully-furnished room, I was laughing my ass out with what I did. I actually let the vacuum cleaner suck her face! I was ecstatic that time, relieved with the vengeance I executed in the right moment. I remember how exasperated she was when I managed to turn it off and pull the device off of her head. I could see real fury in her eyes. She was looking at me with disgust and full hatred. I bet she's forming a plan inside her head on how to kill me.

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I just finished bathing inside that kinda 'orangy' bathroom. All corners are orange. The tiles have their tangerine designs, the toilet somewhat looks like a ponkan, the mirror is oranged-shaped. Everything is about her name! Even the scent! What an awful bathroom she has.

I checked my bag for a wearable shirt and shorts. I wanted to change because they actually disturbed me. It was exhausting to wear something you aren't used to. I also cursed how I look in that maid's outfit! I really hated being mistaken ...as a faggot, of course, a straight guy would!

I was astounded when I can't find any t-shirt. Blouses, dresses, and mini-skirts were all it's contents. I thought I'm dying when my sight finally caught the safe ones to wear. A blue long sleeved v-neck shirt and black jogging pants saved my life. I just can't ponder about why don't I have broader shoulders, more muscled triceps and biceps or leaner body? I still look like a lady in this clothes.

Every time I take a look in a mirror, seeing myself in woman's clothes, my long curly raven hair swaying back and forth, and my cleanly shaven face shining, I want to punch it until broken into pieces. It does frustrate me... Acting like a normal girl is absolutely hard! Would that witch care if I just act the way I want to? The way I was supposed to be? Would she get any idea about my real gender?

Anyway, what's the reason about her being androphobic? I'm still clueless. It somehow aroused my curiosity. If she weren't a man-hater, I wouldn't have any problem. But bet it, if she knew I'm a man, her anger will be doubled!

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I'm hearing her voice calling me. Yeah, right. It's showtime!

I came right next to her. Face-to-face, silence enveloped the whole scene. Her face does look like she's going to demand something...

"Food. I need food. You do, too." she answered, rather rudely.

That's what I'm talking about. My instincts never fail me. And here we go. I still remember that fairytale, where the witch made the poor maiden do an impossible or extremely death-defying thing. I would lie if I tell you I'm not expecting this kind of suffering from the mackabroin.

"I believe, you know how to cook." I heard her say as my head is focussed somewhere else.

Of course. I do. It's weird that I've learned cooking since 10. Well, I wasn't really enjoying it, but my mom insisted on teaching me, and eventually enrolling me for classes. That lasted for a whole year. I'm quite sure I still remember how to do it.

"But..." she did all the talking, and all I had to do is nod my head.

I can see her eyes sparkle with such glowing vengeance in it. Hmmm, FRESH!

"I only eat exactly 5,763 bits of rice a day. And that's also included in the house rule."

My jaw dropped. She caught me off guard. Bull's eye.

What a RULE? Hah. That witch really thought she could fool me? Not in her whole life. Never.

Go with the flow. That's what came into my mind. I would give her what she wanted. Pulling out some pranks... That was it.

I was 'done' counting ever...y piece of rice. Estimating! That helped me a lot in getting through this obstacle. I was at the point of rejoicing when the witch meddled.

"I said 5,763. That's way 2-3 times more." she spoke, with her lazy get-up.

Heh. I couldn't absorb the fact that she's too good at estimating or she just wanted seeing me freak out. I thought it would be better to really count it, but I guess, that would be my last choice... So I ended in 'estimating' again.

"What are you doing?" she stood up as she leaned on the chair I was sitting into. "Are you trying to play tricks with me? I tell you, brat. That won't do. Bwahahaha." she left me with that fading evil laugh.

"2,279! A little amount to sustain my diet for this day." she shouted as she made her way to her room.

For heaven's sake! I'm confused. Is she fooling around? 2,279? How on Earth did she manage to... I believe I should count it know. Let's ...see.
(an hour later)
That girl! How could she possibly know the exact amount of rice here? Magic? A real witch, may be. Creepy...
(few hours later)
5,758... That doomed witch! 5,759... She doesn't belong to the human race! 5,760... A demonic creature! 5,761... Hell girl! 5,762... Now, I'm ready to kill her! 5,763... WAAAH. I'm done.

Finished.

*SPLANK! Sprrrooooiinkkkk!*

Noooooooo!

And my vision became blurry. All was black. And I was jittering... With pure ANGER.

She did it. Correctly. Exactly. Perfectly.

And I don't know how I would react. I want to strangle this maiden in front of me. But I just can't. A real gentleman will never hurt a lady. But, hey! She's not one of them...

Whooo. Keep your cool, Natsume. Be calm. Just do it all again.

And I started counting piece by piece when she snatched the rice cooker. I glared at her. She didn't recognize my existence.

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I was sitting around the table with a plate and the necessary utensils for eating when she entered the room with this meal. The aroma... as it delicately sends its scent unto my nostrils, its pleasantly decorated and organized prese...ntation, and the mouth-watering, delicious taste. Who would have thought a witch could cook a better dish? But that's not the twist there.

I'm actually eating her MASTERPIECE!

Well. This is too much for almost a week of famine. Like she's really into fine-dining. Superb. That's the only thing I can think of to describe this recipe.

"Eat with finesse, my dear." she said then continued, "I can see the sophistication in you... But it's a man's."

I nearly choked. Undeniable. For 17 years, this is how I usually eat. My table manners are exquisite, no doubt about that. But I can't imagine how sharp her eyes are! She can see the difference between hers and mine. Definitely raised with etiquette and grace. Or, should I even consider that after she threw a shoe on my face?

"Why'd you stop eating?" she asked.

As always, I just kept my mouth shut. The last thing I remember when I spoke, she was rolling on the floor, laughing.

"Is there any problem?" she looked at me with mischievous eyes, "Did the poison quickly work?"

And I don't wanna tell you how the food in my mouth spit into her face.

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