Title: The Letter

Rating: T

Pairing: Shizuo x Izaya (( Shizaya ))

Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara.

Plot: I never realized how important he was, and when I did, it was already too late. Angst.

Character Death.

Words: 2000+

THIS STORY CONTAINS MALExMALE RELATIONSHIPS.

I would like to thank my beta, ezzelin.

She's an angel; she helped me made it better.

I don't know what I'll do without her.

If I remember correctly, I wrote this one-shot fic while I was overly depressed with the fics I was reading.

I'm sorry if my newest story has to end up this way.

If you guys don't like it, kindly click the 'back' button.

Thank you.

"He will be remembered."

"Amen." And all those who came gave the mausoleum their parting gifts.

"I never thought he would do it." Shinra said with a nearly unnoticeable sniff while staring at the photo of the man he used to be friends with.

"So did I." A heavily accented man replied back with a small shrug as he gave the man beside me a pat on his shoulder. "Let's get going Shizuo." And the blond could only give a mute nod.

Nobody thought everything would end up this way.

It was nearly a week before my wedding to the love of my life. We were so busy preparing for everything so for the past days my world only revolved around that one woman and our own made-up world. I was so high in love I never felt the ground when I fell.

I guess we are both to blame for our own pains. You and me.

I was so absorbed I admit I failed to notice anything else, including that innocent letter.

"Have you heard, Shizuo-san?" Shinra asked me with a concerned face.

"What do you mean?" I grunted out with a huff, I was so nervous that time, because the next day was my wedding day.

"It's nothing important... I guess." The underground doctor said instead.

The clues were all over the place. All this time it's been hanging in front of my face.

"Had Shizuo already read the letter?" Shinra asked again before he left.

"I'm not sure what you're talking about, but I'll check." I replied while staring at the cell phone at my hand.

"Please do..." And with that the man left.

But still I haven't noticed.

"Take care."

"You too."

Pathetic, ain't it?

H a v e y o u r e a d t h e l e t t e r a l r e a d y ?

Even my friend, Celty asked about it once too, a day before my wedding.

"Seriously... no." I drawled out while putting a cigarette stick in my mouth.

O h . . . I s e e .

Then I also kind of remembered how she hesitated that time.

P l e a s e r e m e m b e r t h a t w h a t w a s l o s t

c o u l d n o l o n g e r b e r e g a i n e d

b a c k .

I never saw the importance of reading it, nor of those words. All I could see were the dreams I thought were mine to reach.

The truth is…

I never noticed your importance.

And when I did.

Two hours before my wedding. I was nervous. Of course. I've been pacing inside my house. My best man, Shinra was just watching me while the bridesmaid, Celty was silently searching for something. Finally the car that was supposed to take me to the church came, but before I was able to leave Shinra called out my name.

"Please read it." He said while handing me the small crumpled letter. "Please," and with that he left.

... And when I did.

I couldn't stop the curiosity anymore. While inside the car, I read it. The letter which I found out that contains the million truths.

Dear Shizu-chan,

I'm keeping the letter short for you to understand since I'm sure a Neanderthal like you can't understand deep words.

I love you

There, I hope you'll be happy with your bride. Love her whole-heartedly, kay?

Don't worry, after your wedding you'll no longer hear anything from me.

Goodbye
Izaya

It wasn't long or emotional or overly passion-filled like other love letters; in fact the message sounded sad, solemn.

'Goodbye'

I tried to ignore what I found out in the letter, I went to the church even after reading it. I really thought for a while that I didn't care.

Until...

I realized...

In the middle of the ceremony, before the exchanging of vows I heard a few whispers coming from behind our backs, one of them - I recognized it - was Shinra's voice.

"He didn't?" I heard him said before someone's footsteps resounded inside the church.

"Excuse me!" Shinra suddenly screamed in the middle of the aisle, Celty beside him; and for once the woman was not stopping him. "I know I might regret this later and I know I should be grateful for being invited to this ceremony, but I cannot stand watching this while knowing the truth," he said then he suddenly turned to me. "Please save that person before it's too late!" Then he ran, with the Dullahan in tow.

The ceremony went on as if it was never interrupted in the first place.

"Do you Shizuo Heiwajima promise to love this woman? Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to love and cherish her? In sickness and in health? For better or for worse? Until death do you part?" And before we knew it, the priest was already asking me for an answer.

I realized...

"Please save that person before it's already too late!"

Don't worry, after your wedding you would no longer hear anything from me.

Goodbye

'Did he?'

"Do you Shizuo Heiwajima..."

'He wouldn't do it... would he?"

"Please save that person!"

"... to be your lawfully wedded wife..."

'He's not that kind of a person that would take his own life... right?'

" ...love and cherish her?"

P l e a s e r e m e m b e r t h a t w h a t w a s l o s t

c o u l d n o l o n g e r b e r e g a i n e d

b a c k .

"... better or for worse... Until death-"

I love you.

"I..." I hesitated; I noticed how the priest also stopped. The woman who accepted me stared at me fearfully. "I'm... I'm..." I noticed how she seems to look troubled; she must have read what was inside my mind. "I'm sorry... I know I should marry you. You're a wonderful woman. You accepted me for what I am. You even ignored my dark past... but I'm sorry." And with that I turned away from her. "Izaya's waiting for me." And with that I ran, leaving that woman and our established dreams all for that one person.

"No!" I heard her scream but I refused to look back.

'I've made my choice... I'm sorry.'

I quickly went to pick a taxi but everyone was just so afraid of picking me up. I was about to run when a familiar van stopped in front of me.

"Get in, quick." Kadota said with a light smile, the rest were also with him. I was so grateful for having him as my friend.

"Please hold on tight!" And the car dashed, with a speed that exceeded the normal limit but I didn't care. Inside my head I was praying.

"Please don't take him."

"I need him."

"I love him."

It's already too late.

"Izaya-kun!" I saw Shinra and Celty beside the bleeding form of the man.

"Shizuo!" Shinra looked happy that I came but it faded when his eyes fell on that man.

"Shizu-chan." The flea- Izaya wheezed out with a small smile. "You came..." He murmured softly.

It was like watching a nightmare come to life. I admit that for the first time I had the urge to run, but instead of following my senses like I normally do, I stood my ground, pushed the urge down so I could face my fears. Slowly I approached him.

"Hey, flea- hush... don't talk. I'm here now." I said while holding his lithe form.

"I- I'm happy you came... so happy..." but the stubborn guy continued talking, "I-I want you to know how... how I love you... so… so much." He looked in so much pain. What did he do to himself?

"Hush... Shinra can still help you- d-don't talk." I stuttered. I tried to look at the doctor beside me but I noticed how he seems to be avoiding my gaze. "Right Shinra?"I asked.

"I'm sorry."

I felt my whole world shatter.

"Don't say that… we could still try- we could save him!" Slowly I noticed Izaya's eyes close, "flea? flea? Don't die on me... not now!" I was near hysterical that time.

"Shizu... I want you to know how grateful I am... "

'Please not him.'

"I... I'm sorry it has to end this way."

'Please not my world.'

"I regret never telling you I love you myself..."

'Please not yet.'

"If only... if only..."

"Izaya?- please! Don't speak- try to preserve your energy... Izaya? Izaya!

Please...

I love you..."

And I finally lost it. I screamed, hard and loud. It hurts so much- so fucking much. If only I found out sooner. If only I read the letter earlier than I did. If only I didn't hesitate.

"Izaya..." I whimpered pathetically. I don't care if Shinra and the others were watching me right now. All I knew was that it hurt.

"Shizuo." I heard my name called by Shinra. It's been a week now since Izaya's death.
Since my reason for living left me. I felt numb after he went away.

"Yes?" I murmured, we were now on our way back home, or in my case, my temporary solace - Shinra's apartment, because apparently each of my friends believes that I can't be left alone now, specially when I'm grieving over Izaya's death.

"I- I have something to give you." and he gave me a letter. A bloodied one. I gave him a look before I opened it myself.

Dear Shizuo,

While you're reading this I'm sure I'm already gone.
My last instruction to Shinra had been to give this to you if you came.

I'm giving you a privilege to follow me all the way to after-life.

I'll be waiting.

Forever,
Izaya

Slowly I folded the letter and placed it inside my pocket. Shinra must have noticed my expression for he gave Kadota a knowing look.

"Give the man our regards." Shinra said with a small smile. Odd he'd be saying that instead of stopping a man from committing suicide.

"Goodbye." And with that they dropped me in front of Izaya's apartment.

It's nearly deserted now, after Izaya's death his secretary Namie had already stopped dropping by to clean the place.

I went inside using a key that Shinra had given me, and went to the living room to pick up a familiar blade the other male used. I slowly went to sit on the couch not too far away from me.

I felt the wind went up a little, as if nature was telling me something. I hid a small smile and slowly I raised the blade to the vein I knew could kill me easily.

'Soon, my beloved.'

"I love you." I heard the wind murmur softly in my ear.

'Soon.'

And I cut.

I'm depressed. I admit I maybe am. For what reason I am not sure.

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