NOTE 9/22/2002: This final chapter has also been edited. ^_^ At this point I want to thank everyone who was kind enough to write a review for the story when it came out--I think all of you contributed to what went into this edit (which, again, might not seem huge. . .but in my mind it's definitely different). Special thanks to J. Random Lurker, who was probably the biggest bringer of change. ^_~ Though the direction I went with her emailed comments is such that all her original objections probably still stand. [sweatdrop]
---------------------
The fourth and final chapter. I hope it lives up to expectations, if there were any. ^_^
(And many thanks to J. Random Lurker and Waku-chan for the reviews! Yay! ^_^)
All notes, warnings, disclaimers, etc. from Chapter One apply.
Oh, and the credits have changed once again. Enjoy!
After [Rose and Release]
Chapter Four: From Today Forward, I am Your Flower
My eyes are open again.
But, it's not like before. Even though my eyes are open, I feel like I've lost track somehow. Like I blinked, or slept, and I missed something, and now I don't know how to get it back. . . .
What am I seeing? I. . . .
//I wonder, I wonder, I wonder, do you know?//
What am I seeing?
Révolution.
Revolution.
Revolution. . . .
//Fighting me isn't some play duel.//
Revolution. . .a duel called Revolution?
//Fool. In this world, there was never any such thing as a Prince in the first place.//
. . .that's right.
I can't pull out this sword. I didn't win this duel.
I was only a make-believe Prince.
I was asleep the whole time.
//A sword isn't meant for a girl to wave around like that.//
He was right. Of course he was right. I didn't save Himemiya.
I couldn't save her.
But. . .no. I tried. I remember this--I don't have to worry about femininity, do I? Dios was a man. Akio was a man. But they didn't save her. . .they didn't even try to save her. They only hurt her. So maybe. . .so maybe it doesn't matter if you're a man or if you're girl.
//A sword isn't meant for a girl to wave around like that.//
A sword is something for a Prince, maybe, but all the Sword of Dios did was cut his Bride.
A sword. . . .
A sword to cut the Bride. . .a Million Swords to cut the Bride. . .a Million Swords of the Bride's hatred. . .a sword to cut the Bride. . .the Bride had a Million Swords. . .a sword is something for a Prince. . .a Prince to cut the Bride. . .the Bride had a Million Swords. . .she hated herself the whole time. . .a sword a Prince to cut the Bride. . . .
My eyes widen. My eyes are all the way open now.
The Prince was a sword.
He was the material she used to make all her swords.
Himemiya. . .I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
I should've tried to understand.
I failed you. I didn't recognize your pain. I didn't see. I thought I could save you; I thought you were safe, with me, in our room, in our bed, and you. . . .
You used the sword he gave you, and you made a million of them. So that you could love him, you made yourself a world where you hurt yourself more than he hurt you. You made a world where it was your fault. So that you did whatever he told you. So that you were safe. So that no matter what happened to your body, you wouldn't feel the pain.
You made a world out of your own memories.
//I hate this room.//
In your mind, you were raped a million times.
//What sort of dreams have you been dreaming lately? I always dream of the castle.//
You made yourself a nightmare.
You were asleep all this time.
I didn't save you. I didn't try to help you wake up.
//When you were suffering so much. . .when I had said we should save each other. . . .//
I didn't save you.
//The only one who can save her is a prince she believes in.//
I didn't save you.
//When I had said we should save each other. . . .//
I didn't save my friend.
. . .friend?
That's right.
The first sword is Amitié.
//You remind me of the Dios I once loved.//
I want--
//But you can't become my Prince. Because you're a girl.//
No. You were talking about yourself. You were the one who thought girls couldn't be free. I've already pulled out the sword Féminité.
I want--
//I didn't save you. ((you didn't believe in me))//
Shut up! Himemiya, I want--
//Thank you for giving me a small taste of what you call "friendship."//
I want to see Himemiya.
//Where am I?//
//Am I watching a dream. . . .?//
"It hasn't been that long since then, but everybody's forgotten about her completely. She didn't cause a Revolution after all."
//That's--Akio-san?!//
"Now that she's gone, she was just a dropout from this world. I've got to rebuild the Rose Signets from scratch. I'm counting on you, Anthy."
//Yes, they're in his office. . .I see them. . .I see Himemiya.//
"You don't know what happened, do you?"
"What?"
"It's alright now. Please go on playing make-believe 'Prince' in this comfortable little coffin forever. But I must go."
//Does that mean. . .can that mean. . .//
"Go? To where?"
"That person hasn't vanished. She's merely left your world."
"What're you talking about?"
"W-wait a minute! Anthy! . . .Anthy!!"
"Farewell."
//. . .she woke up?//
Himemiya. You're awake.
Does that mean I didn't fail you?
Does that mean you were saved?
Dos that mean. . .you believed in me. . .?
Can it be. . .that I helped you pull the sword out of your chest?
//When I had said we should save each other. . . .//
Can it be. . .all those times you pulled the dueling sword out of my chest. . .my dream. . . .
Can we save each other?
No--that's not quite it--not quite yet--
Can we help each other save ourselves?
//"You don't know what happened, do you?"//
What did happen? If I open my eyes--really open them--I can see the whole universe.
That's what I need to see. Himemiya understood what happened. And now she is going.
If I understand what happened to me, then I can go too.
//Someday, together. . . .//
If I understand.
What am I here for?
//Instead of being a princess to be protected, I want to be a dashing prince.//
Is that it?
//She said she came to this academy to meet a prince she met when she was very young.//
Why did I come here?
//I'm your Prince. You came all this way to meet me.//
No. . .why did I come here?
//Who are you?//
//I came to save you.//
//But, you're a. . . .//
//I came here to meet you.//
That's right.
That's right.
That's right! I came all this way to meet you. . .Himemiya.
The first sword is Friendship. The last sword is Revolution.
The power to revolutionize the world.
//I want to be your friend.//
I look down, and see the last sword, straight and true through my chest.
If I understand, I can be free.
//Your eyes are just like those of those people who can't stop wanting to make memories last forever.//
With power, you can do anything.
//my own birth, absolute birth//
The power to bring the world revolution. . .
. . .but the world is always in revolution.
The world sees revolution every day.
//Your eyes are just like. . .you can't stop wanting. . .//
To leave your world of memories for a world where you can make friends.
So. . .time just has to start moving again, then.
I put my hands around the hilt of Révolution.
//Himemiya. . .you don't know. . .how happy I was. . .just being together with you. . . .//
I smile.
I won't be afraid of this world where we'll meet.
"Utena-sama. . .you have already won this duel."
Thank you.
No matter where you are, I'll find you for sure. Himemiya.
Anthy.
And someday, together. . . .
I pull.
Someday, we'll shine together.
And from there, I think I'm done.
CREDITS. I took whatever episode translations I couldn't remember for myself from The Utena Encyclopedia (http://www.duellists.tj/). The fact that I also relied on memory accounts for any discrepancies with that text. The FLOWER pictures I use as dividers are done by Joan Stark (hence the initials), whose ASCII artwork can be found at http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/7373/. *The versions on this page are her originals.* However, both the EYE picture and the SWORD picture have been *adapted* by me from her images, therefore they are collaborative (notice the initials change). I swear, this woman is a goddess. Also, I would like to thank Jethro Tull and Dove chocolates for keeping me alive through the writing of this chapter. [sweatdrop] It was much harder than I'd predicted.
And that's a wrap, folks. If any of you have any thoughts--positive or negative, constructive or deconstructive--I'd dearly love to hear them. Did I do the fic justice by its ending? Feedback, onegai. . . .
Much love,
~~Cutter
http://www.livejournal.com/users/cutter_tekka/
http://geocities.com/cutter_tekka/cutterfics/
---------------------
The fourth and final chapter. I hope it lives up to expectations, if there were any. ^_^
(And many thanks to J. Random Lurker and Waku-chan for the reviews! Yay! ^_^)
All notes, warnings, disclaimers, etc. from Chapter One apply.
Oh, and the credits have changed once again. Enjoy!
After [Rose and Release]
Chapter Four: From Today Forward, I am Your Flower
My eyes are open again.
But, it's not like before. Even though my eyes are open, I feel like I've lost track somehow. Like I blinked, or slept, and I missed something, and now I don't know how to get it back. . . .
What am I seeing? I. . . .
//I wonder, I wonder, I wonder, do you know?//
What am I seeing?
Révolution.
Revolution.
Revolution. . . .
//Fighting me isn't some play duel.//
Revolution. . .a duel called Revolution?
//Fool. In this world, there was never any such thing as a Prince in the first place.//
. . .that's right.
I can't pull out this sword. I didn't win this duel.
I was only a make-believe Prince.
I was asleep the whole time.
//A sword isn't meant for a girl to wave around like that.//
He was right. Of course he was right. I didn't save Himemiya.
I couldn't save her.
But. . .no. I tried. I remember this--I don't have to worry about femininity, do I? Dios was a man. Akio was a man. But they didn't save her. . .they didn't even try to save her. They only hurt her. So maybe. . .so maybe it doesn't matter if you're a man or if you're girl.
//A sword isn't meant for a girl to wave around like that.//
A sword is something for a Prince, maybe, but all the Sword of Dios did was cut his Bride.
A sword. . . .
A sword to cut the Bride. . .a Million Swords to cut the Bride. . .a Million Swords of the Bride's hatred. . .a sword to cut the Bride. . .the Bride had a Million Swords. . .a sword is something for a Prince. . .a Prince to cut the Bride. . .the Bride had a Million Swords. . .she hated herself the whole time. . .a sword a Prince to cut the Bride. . . .
My eyes widen. My eyes are all the way open now.
The Prince was a sword.
He was the material she used to make all her swords.
_....,_ _.-` '. _..._ .' .-. '. ( ( o ) ) `._'-'_.' ``` jgs/c
Himemiya. . .I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
I should've tried to understand.
I failed you. I didn't recognize your pain. I didn't see. I thought I could save you; I thought you were safe, with me, in our room, in our bed, and you. . . .
You used the sword he gave you, and you made a million of them. So that you could love him, you made yourself a world where you hurt yourself more than he hurt you. You made a world where it was your fault. So that you did whatever he told you. So that you were safe. So that no matter what happened to your body, you wouldn't feel the pain.
You made a world out of your own memories.
//I hate this room.//
In your mind, you were raped a million times.
//What sort of dreams have you been dreaming lately? I always dream of the castle.//
You made yourself a nightmare.
You were asleep all this time.
__
_ / /|
|\\ \/_/
\_\| / __
\/_/__\ .-=='/~\
____,__/__,_____,______)/ /{~}}}
-,------,----,-----,---,\'-' {{~}}
jgs '-==.\}/
I didn't save you. I didn't try to help you wake up.
//When you were suffering so much. . .when I had said we should save each other. . . .//
I didn't save you.
//The only one who can save her is a prince she believes in.//
I didn't save you.
//When I had said we should save each other. . . .//
I didn't save my friend.
. . .friend?
That's right.
__
_ / /|
|\\ \/_/
\_\| / __
\/_/__\ .-=='/~\
____,__/__,_____,______)/ /{~}}}
-,------,----,-----,---,\'-' {{~}}
jgs '-==.\}/
The first sword is Amitié.
//You remind me of the Dios I once loved.//
I want--
//But you can't become my Prince. Because you're a girl.//
No. You were talking about yourself. You were the one who thought girls couldn't be free. I've already pulled out the sword Féminité.
I want--
//I didn't save you. ((you didn't believe in me))//
Shut up! Himemiya, I want--
//Thank you for giving me a small taste of what you call "friendship."//
I want to see Himemiya.
__
_ / |
| \ \/_/
\_\| / __
\/_/__\ .--='/~\
____,__/__,_____,______)/ /{~}}}
-,-----,--\--,-----,---,\'-' {{~}}
jgs __/\_ '--=.\}/
/_/ |\\
\/
//Where am I?//
//Am I watching a dream. . . .?//
"It hasn't been that long since then, but everybody's forgotten about her completely. She didn't cause a Revolution after all."
//That's--Akio-san?!//
"Now that she's gone, she was just a dropout from this world. I've got to rebuild the Rose Signets from scratch. I'm counting on you, Anthy."
//Yes, they're in his office. . .I see them. . .I see Himemiya.//
"You don't know what happened, do you?"
"What?"
"It's alright now. Please go on playing make-believe 'Prince' in this comfortable little coffin forever. But I must go."
//Does that mean. . .can that mean. . .//
"Go? To where?"
"That person hasn't vanished. She's merely left your world."
"What're you talking about?"
"W-wait a minute! Anthy! . . .Anthy!!"
"Farewell."
//. . .she woke up?//
__
_ / |
| \ \/_/
\_\| / __
\/_/__\ .--='/~\
____,__/__,_____,______)/ /{~}}}
-,-----,--\--,-----,---,\'-' {{~}}
jgs __/\_ '--=.\}/
/_/ |\\
\/
Himemiya. You're awake.
Does that mean I didn't fail you?
Does that mean you were saved?
Dos that mean. . .you believed in me. . .?
Can it be. . .that I helped you pull the sword out of your chest?
//When I had said we should save each other. . . .//
Can it be. . .all those times you pulled the dueling sword out of my chest. . .my dream. . . .
Can we save each other?
No--that's not quite it--not quite yet--
Can we help each other save ourselves?
//"You don't know what happened, do you?"//
What did happen? If I open my eyes--really open them--I can see the whole universe.
That's what I need to see. Himemiya understood what happened. And now she is going.
If I understand what happened to me, then I can go too.
//Someday, together. . . .//
__
_ / |
| \ \/_/
\_\| / __
\/_/__\ .--='/~\
____,__/__,_____,______)/ /{~}}}
-,-----,--\--,-----,---,\'-' {{~}}
jgs __/\_ '--=.\}/
/_/ |\\
\/
If I understand.
What am I here for?
//Instead of being a princess to be protected, I want to be a dashing prince.//
Is that it?
//She said she came to this academy to meet a prince she met when she was very young.//
Why did I come here?
//I'm your Prince. You came all this way to meet me.//
No. . .why did I come here?
//Who are you?//
//I came to save you.//
//But, you're a. . . .//
//I came here to meet you.//
That's right.
That's right.
That's right! I came all this way to meet you. . .Himemiya.
__
_ / |
| \ \/_/
\_\| / __
\/_/__\ .--='/~\
____,__/__,_____,______)/ /{~}}}
-,-----,--\--,-----,---,\'-' {{~}}
jgs __/\_ '--=.\}/
/_/ |\\
\/
The first sword is Friendship. The last sword is Revolution.
The power to revolutionize the world.
//I want to be your friend.//
I look down, and see the last sword, straight and true through my chest.
If I understand, I can be free.
//Your eyes are just like those of those people who can't stop wanting to make memories last forever.//
With power, you can do anything.
//my own birth, absolute birth//
The power to bring the world revolution. . .
. . .but the world is always in revolution.
The world sees revolution every day.
//Your eyes are just like. . .you can't stop wanting. . .//
To leave your world of memories for a world where you can make friends.
So. . .time just has to start moving again, then.
I put my hands around the hilt of Révolution.
//Himemiya. . .you don't know. . .how happy I was. . .just being together with you. . . .//
I smile.
I won't be afraid of this world where we'll meet.
"Utena-sama. . .you have already won this duel."
Thank you.
No matter where you are, I'll find you for sure. Himemiya.
Anthy.
And someday, together. . . .
I pull.
Someday, we'll shine together.
.-.
{{@}}
)@(
)@(
)@(
_ )@( _
(@)__/ @ \__(@)
`~"-=).(=-"~`
|:|
| |
|R|
|É|
|V|
|O|
|L|
|U|
|T|
|I|
|O|
|N|
| |
|:|
|'|
\ /
'
jgs/c
And from there, I think I'm done.
CREDITS. I took whatever episode translations I couldn't remember for myself from The Utena Encyclopedia (http://www.duellists.tj/). The fact that I also relied on memory accounts for any discrepancies with that text. The FLOWER pictures I use as dividers are done by Joan Stark (hence the initials), whose ASCII artwork can be found at http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/7373/. *The versions on this page are her originals.* However, both the EYE picture and the SWORD picture have been *adapted* by me from her images, therefore they are collaborative (notice the initials change). I swear, this woman is a goddess. Also, I would like to thank Jethro Tull and Dove chocolates for keeping me alive through the writing of this chapter. [sweatdrop] It was much harder than I'd predicted.
And that's a wrap, folks. If any of you have any thoughts--positive or negative, constructive or deconstructive--I'd dearly love to hear them. Did I do the fic justice by its ending? Feedback, onegai. . . .
Much love,
~~Cutter
http://www.livejournal.com/users/cutter_tekka/
http://geocities.com/cutter_tekka/cutterfics/