A/N: OK people! I know I should be working on my series of one shots about New Zealand, but I've been meaning to start this for ages too. So no flaming please, even though I'm sure you have no idea what I'm going about. Anyway.

So this is based off LolliDictator's Hetalia User Manuals. I'm not doing them in order, nor am I doing all of them. Just my favourites. lol

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia, or the Hetalia Manuals. But I own the story and Lee Butler.

My Life Has Just Turned Into One Of Those WTF Moments - Chapter 1

OK, so get this: You're sitting at the computer in the lounge, playing the most awesome game ever, which happens to be Tetris, listening to awesome music that's been turned way up. Then, your doorbell rings. You turn around to look out the big front window and see a small red truck parked up next to the curb. There's something odd about this van though. On the side you see the words "FMB Unit Delivery" done in this really cool graphic. So, naturally, you get up to see what this person wants with you, after pausing the awesome music, of course. When you get to the front door you see a woman standing there with a tall crate.

What you just witnessed, reader, is what just happened to me. I'm standing there, staring at this woman wearing mint green bunny ears on her head and little mint green angel wings on her back. And I'm just thinking, 'What does this woman want with me?'

And, as if to answer my question, she says, "Good afternoon. If you'll sign here, I can hand over your first Hetalia Unit."

All I end up doing is staring at her like she's crazy. Hetalia? What the hell is Hetalia? "Um… I'm sorry, but I didn't order this… unit." I say the last word uncertainly.

She smiles and replies, "You didn't have to. Hetalia Units are totally free and are delivered randomly, whether you know what they are or not." This woman seems way too happy for her own good. "So sign here and I'll bring it inside for you."

"OK, I give up." I sigh, taking the clipboard. I write my signature while she heaves the crate inside.

"Where you like me to put it?" she asks.

"In the lounge, I guess."

"If you could show me the way?"

"Sure." So I lead her around the corner and she lowers the crate in the middle of the lounge.

"And here is the user guide. You'll definitely need it if you want to stay sane." OK, her happy and cheerful voice is really starting to annoy me.

"OK… But one last thing before you leave."

"What would that be?"

"What's Hetalia?"

"Something you'll have to Google." I now have the sudden urge to face-palm. But I don't. Don't want to seem insane in front of the mailwoman now, do I? Of course not.

"Alright, well, thanks for unit, I think." I say as we start walking back towards the front door.

"You can tell me if you like it or not in three to five business days."

"You're coming back?" I nearly yell.

"Yes. You have more units to receive."

"Oh God, no."

She nods. "Yup."

"But I don't even know what these things are!" I whine.

"You will soon. And let's just say, living in a fairly large house won't be a bad thing."

"Uh, well, bye then."

"Bye!" And I shut the shut the door.

"Alright Google, what am I getting myself into?" I say as I sit back at the computer, exiting my game of Tetris.

I open Mozilla FireFox and go to Google. I type in Hetalia, and look at what comes up in the drop-down bar. "Ooh, it says Hetalia New Zealand! Gotta click it." So I click on it. It comes up with images, but I can't tell if it's fanart or official drawings, or what. But I do see this really cute one in grey scale, and another one with a sheep and the New Zealand flag hanging over a tree branch. It's really cute too.

I look at the link below the images and see the words 'List of minor characters in Hetalia: Axis Powers - Hetalia Archives' "So New Zealand is minor character? Wait… IT'S ABOUT COUNTRIES?" I yell. I'm already starting to like this Hetalia thing. "Hang on… So I might have a… a country in that crate?" I click the link.

'This is a list of minor characters in Hetalia: Axis Powers. These characters often do not appear within the manga or anime, but are drawn in official artwork or sketches, or are referenced in official materials. Some of these characters are also not specifically any sort of nation or kingdom, but simply other minor characters in the series (such as Shinatty).'

That's what it says on the page. I read it again, and notice to key words: 'Manga' and 'Anime'.

I know you don't know anything about me, like where I live, my name, and other such things. But one thing I like people knowing about me is that I absolutely love anime and manga. And I mean LOVE. It's in all caps for a reason, by the way.

So yeah. But my current favorite anime-slash-manga is definitely FMA, or Fullmetal Alchemist. Watch it. I dare you.

Anyway! I scroll down and find New Zealand under the 'Other Nations' heading. I read what it says and I think back to the image of the little person with the sheep in grey scale. "Maybe that's the one?" I think out loud. Scrolling down again, I read little bits of information about other random minor characters. I have to admit, it sounds pretty interesting.

And in case you haven't already realised, I'm from New Zealand. Wellington, to be exact.

When I get to last country, I'm about to get up when I notice images. So I scroll down some more, reading each caption to see if any mention New Zealand. One does, and it's the grey scale one from earlier! That makes me happy.

I get up and start wondering if I could possibly have gotten a New Zealand Unit. That would be awesome! So I grab the user guide thingy and read the front. It says 'MATTHEW WILLIAMS – User Guide and Manual'.

"Matthew Williams? Who's that, I wonder?" So I type it into the website's search bar. "Oh, it's Canada. Cool! And he's so cute!" You know, in that "Look at me, I'm a puppy!" kind of way.

Speaking of puppies, my adorable little puppy trots into the lounge. "Den! There you are!" Yup, that's right; I've named her after Den on FMA. Hah, creative, I know. She doesn't look much like the original Den; she's actually a German shepherd. I'd love a husky though. They're so gorgeous~!

I hold out my hand for her and she bounds over to me. I pick her up, cradling her in my arms and walk over to where I had placed the user guide. Holding Den in one arm, and grabbing the user guide with the other, I sit back down, put Den in my lap and flip through the pages, reading any information I find necessary. Before long though, Den jumps out of my lap, goes over to the crate and starts barking.

"Den! Quit it. Come here." I growl, but she doesn't stop. She just keeps barking no matter what I say or do, so I put her outside to play. But before I can get back inside, she's sprinted back into the lounge, once again barking at the crate.

I'm about to sigh and pick her up again, but I hear a noise coming from inside the crate. Naturally, I just think it's a stowaway mouse or something. Then, after the noise, there comes a groaning sound.

"That's not right." I say, picking Den up again. I slowly back away from the box, Den barking in my arms all the while.

"What on Earth is with that noise?" The voice is very soft and barely audible, and is coming from inside the crate. Slowly, I take a few steps back toward it. "C-Canada…?" I ask in an equally soft voice.

A yell. "Who's there?" the soft voice demands.

"Uh… My name is Lee Butler."

"Oh… Where am I? Why is it dark in here?"

"You're in a crate in the middle of my lounge." I reply nervously. I have no idea what he's like, so it's always best to be careful.

"Can you let me out?" he asks. I place Den (who isn't barking anymore) on the carpet. She sits there watching me open the wooden crate.

Canada's a little wary of me and my puppy as he steps out, looking around the room. He sees me watching him walk around and stops, staring back at me. "Can you see me?" he asks.

"What? Of course I can. Why wouldn't I be able to see you?" I say with that whole "Are you stupid?" look on my face.

"Oh, I'm glad. Not many other people can see me very often. Well, America, France and Britain sometimes see me, but more often than not, they just ignore me." he replies.

My eyes go wide. "Those bastards!" I gasp. "That's just not cool."

And a random question from Canada: "Uh… Excuse me, could I use your bathroom please?"

A/N: So there you have it, chapter 1 of my new Hetalia story! It's even written in present-tense. Heheh. Fun.

Review please! I beg of you! Nobody reviews my stories. It makes me sad.