Author's Note: Hi everyone. This is my first fanfiction, so i hope you enjoy. I've been working on this for a few months, but I've been nervous to post it. Please let me know if you find any errors. I've spell check it about 3 times and had people read it, so there shouldn't really be any mistakes. Chapters will typically be a few POV's but let me know if you want them to be longer or shorter. So let's get started!

By the way, this takes place after Don't Let Me Get Me.

Enjoy and Review!

-Caitlin-

Clare's POV

As Adam and I were sitting in English class, Mrs. Dawes was talking about the next novel we'd be reading. I had gone on an amazing date with Eli last night and I was dying to tell someone about it. With Alli gone, the only person left to tell was Adam.

"My date with Eli was incredible," I whispered across the aisle.

"I bet." Adam replied tiredly. I went into a full, detailed account of the date. Adam yawned.

"I'm boring you," I blushed embarrassedly. "Sorry." I smiled a small smile.

"No, it's not you," Adam said truthfully. "I got NO sleep last night thanks to my annoying brother." He rolled his eyes.

"Drew kept you up?" I questioned.

"Yeah. He talked to me for like 4 hours about how upset he was about Alli. You would've thought she died. After all that torture, he stay up until like 4 am crying. I've never seen him so messed up over a girl. It's been almost a week since she dumped him the second time and it's been 3 weeks since Vegas Night. He skipped dinner last night and I'm pretty sure he left without breakfast, too. I don't understand why he's still so messed up!" Adam looked slightly annoyed, but I could tell he was worried.

"That doesn't sound like Drew," I said in a concerned voice. I hate Drew for what he did to Alli, but I'm not a monster. The normally cocky and egotistic Drew sounded heartbroken.

"It's not. It's really weird. He just kept going on about how Alli was the best thing he's ever had and without her, he has nothing. I haven't seen him smile since she left. I think he's in love with her."

"If he loves her, why did he cheat on her?" Drew had cheated on Alli with a skank named Bianca a few weeks ago. That was the reason Alli left him.

"Drew is impulsive." Adam explained. "He doesn't ever think of the consequences. But I know for a fact he regretted it. He came home and told me everything that happened. He couldn't believe he did it. All he wanted to do was take it back."

"Adam, Clare! Please focus your attention up here," admonished Mrs. Dawes. Adam and I both turned our attention to the front of the class.

"We'll talk later," I whispered.

Adam's POV

I'm sitting in the kitchen with my mom, waiting for Drew to come home from football. I'm worried about him. He wasn't in lunch so I went looking for him. I found him in the library all alone. I hadn't seen him since. Just as I was about to tell my mom this, Drew walked in with his school stuff and football helmet in hand.

"How was practice?" Mom asked Drew as he put his stuff down on a chair.

"Fine," he replied in a monotone. He began to walk towards the stair case.

"Don't you want something to eat? You usually devour the whole fridge when you get home from football." She looked up at him with concern evident in her eyes.

"No. I'm going to my room." Drew turned and took the stairs two at a time.

"Is everything okay with Drew?" She asked me. I had been watching Drew since he walked through the door.

"Not really. Can't you see he's a mess?" I said critically. "He skipped dinner last night, breakfast this morning, and he wasn't even in the caf during lunch today. He just sat in the library. I mean of all the places Drew could've gone. .." I tailed off.

"What's wrong with him?" She sounded really worried.

"Alli broke up with him again and he's a mess. He kept me up all night with his crying. He said he lost the best thing he ever had." Mom scoffed.

"That awful girl. I don't think she's good enough for Drew. He can do so much better. He'll get over her soon, you know Drew. I'm just surprised he cried over her. I've never seen Drew cry over a girl."

"Yeah, I guess." I got up and walked out. I climbed up the stairs and went straight to Drew's room.

"Hey, is everything okay?" I said as I pounded on Drew's door. It was locked. Drew never locked his door, ever.

"Andrew! Open up!" I yelled again. I was starting to get worried.

Drew's POV

I heard Adam banging on my door, but I wanted to be left alone. I was lying face down on my bed drowning in my own misery.

I'm a screw up. I mess up everything in my life. I let those guys hurt Adam, I let Adam hurt himself, I'm failing every class, and I cheated on the best girlfriend I've ever had with a slut. This sucks.

At school I act like life is awesome because I'm a popular jock and girls are throwing themselves at me, but none of it matters. All I want is Alli back and my life not to suck. But Alli is at a school across town and I'll probably never see her again. Another thing in my life I screwed up. She gave me another chance and then dumped me. I have no idea what I did wrong but I should've known I'd screw it all up. I always do.

Soon the banging stopped. I guess Adam gave up. I opened my door and looked to see if anyone was there. I heard Adam and Mom's voices in the kitchen. It was safe. I quietly tiptoed into the bathroom Adam and I shared. I locked the door behind me and looked in the mirror. I looked like hell. My eyes were all red and swollen. I hadn't noticed I'd been crying. I'd been doing so much of it lately.

I needed to escape this. I've never considered myself the type of person to inflict self harm, but I felt I had no other choice. Adam used to burn himself when he was Gracie to let out the pain. Why couldn't I?

I rummaged through the draws looking for something, anything, I could hurt myself with. Finally I found a razor. This should do the trick. I looked down at my wrists. It would be too noticeable there because I never wore long sleeves. But there was nowhere else to cut. I finally decided on my upper arm instead, right above my elbow. I pressed the razor to my arm and slid it across. New tears sprung to my eyes as the pain hit me. When I started to bleed, I realized I didn't know the first thing about first aid. Crap. How stupid am I? Unsure of what to, I just ran the cut under cool water and patted it with a towel. I let my tee shirt sleeve cover it and I walked out of the bathroom.