Right. So, this story is very AU. It is based off an idea that bothered me and bothered me until I gave in. It's about the major characters in the Who 'verse being human. They may seem out of character sometimes and I do apologize, but that's how they turned out. The Doctor will be going by John, though he will be addressed as "Doctor" throughout the story by other characters. Sorry if that's confusing. I've been writing this slowly but surely for the last five months. So, here is the first chapter for "Case of the Ex".

AN: Right, so, I'm sure everyone has already read this first chapter, but with the semester almost over, I've got time on my hands, so I've edited! Yay, so please enjoy this little AU that I've created.

"Why must there be so many freaking pockets?"

United States Army Captain Jack Harkness complained loud enough for the entire base to hear. It was Friday and payday and all he wanted to do was go home, shower, change and go get drunk with his sister and best friend. None which was going to happen if he didn't find his stupid cell phone. There were a million pockets on the ACU, crammed with junk he didn't want, but had to have, and where was his cell phone? He groaned loudly, ready to tear his hair out.

"Need some help, sir?"

Jack whirled around, facing the Welsh First Sergeant who had voiced the question.

"Yeah, I can't find my cell phone. Can you call it, First Sergeant…"

"Jones, sir, Ianto Jones."

"Jones, Ianto Jones, here's the number." Jack studied him as he waited to hear his ring tone, liking what he saw. He felt his left butt cheek vibrate and he fished it out.

"Success! Thank you so much, Jones."

"No problem." Jones flashed a smile that Jack moving closer. "Mind if I keep the number…Captain?" Jack smiled wickedly. "Not at all, First Sergeant. Not at all."

Jack watched the young soldier walk away before walking away himself, his good mood restored and feeling like today was a good day.

Donna Noble was bored. All she wanted to do was get out of this meeting, go home, change and go out with her brother, Jack, and his absent-minded best friend, John. She loved him like a brother herself, but he was a bit dim. Mind you, he was a genius, considering he was teaching physics at the local university and he was only 27. But for someone so smart, he sure was thick sometimes.

She looked at her watch discreetly, cheering to herself when she saw that the meeting was over, and her boss was showing signs of winding. He was closing his suit jacket and smoothing his hair, meaning that he was ready to book it just as much as they were.

"Ok, so, you probably missed half of what I said, so just look for it in the e-mail I sending tonight. Ok people, it's Friday; let's go get drunk and be somebody!" He sang and everybody cheered. God guess those Americans. A new workforce program saw that a handful of Brits from each major company, university, hospital and military base, changed places with their American counterparts for a year. They were taken care of, set up with housing and everything. They were all really nice (at least the ones she'd met) and Donna loved the one they sent to her company.

Her old boss was from the old days, very strict, no fun. But this young American knew how to have a good time, and be professional. She quickly gathered up her things and walked to her desk, putting them into her bag and closing out of her computer. She was just putting some papers away when her phone rang. "Donna Noble."

"Got another one." She groaned when she heard her step-brother's smug voice.

"Brilliant Jack. You know how much I love these calls."

"He came onto me. I was just looking for my phone."

"Is he jailbait?" Donna wanted to know. She knew how much her big brother loved them enlisted men.

"I can be careful."

"Please. Mum and Daniel will have kittens if you get discharged for not keeping it in your pants, yeah?"

"Thanks for the advice. I'm just leaving the base, where are you?"

"Just leaving the office. Are you meeting us there?"

"Yeah. I'm going to give forgetful a ring and remind him to bring his girlfriend."

"No, don't do that," Donna complained. "I don't like her."

"I don't either, so this is our chance to scare her off."

"You got a plan, yeah?"

"Babe, I'm Captain Jack Harkness. I always have a plan."

"Fine, ok, Captain Big head. I'll see you later."

"Bye."

God, she had missed England. Breathing in the polluted air of London, as she drove down the street with the windows down, brought tears to her eyes. She loved living in America. There was so much to see and do in New York. The city that never sleeps. She loved the time she spent there, thanks to her job. She had tons of friends and a good job and a boyfriend she loved. But she had missed her hometown so much. She missed the little things, like chips shops around every corner and the country side and her family. And to tell the truth, she really missed her mum and dad and Donna and Jack. And Him. Above all else, she couldn't wait to see him. To see how much he'd changed or didn't change. To see if he was still hers, even though they parted on the best terms and made no promises, she couldn't help but wonder, if maybe he's kept his promise, they way she's kept hers.

Thanks to the workforce program, she was able to come home and get an apartment near Jack. She had just settled everything and was rewarding herself by heading out to their favorite club. She hoped it was still there. That was their place, the four of them. She didn't know if they'd be there tonight, but she was going to take that chance.

(Doctor) John Smith didn't know what was wrong with him. He had had a funny feeling all day as he taught his classes. Like suddenly his skin didn't fit right, his fingertips tingling, like someone had given him a numbing shot. He couldn't stop tapping his feet to try and get rid of all the energy he found himself with. There was a nagging feeling in the back of mind, telling him that something big was coming - no - that someone was coming. But what?"

"John? John? John!" He jerked when he heard his name being called and he blinked before turning to face his girlfriend. "You alright?" Martha Jones questioned him, a look of concern on her face. He smiled and just shook his head. They were on their way to the club to have their weekly get together. Jack was always on the base, busying with his job (and shagging as many soldiers as he could) and the new workforce program had Donna busier than usual the last couple of weeks. So it was nice to get together and be with people they loved. Martha had insisted on joining this time. They'd been dating almost a year and she was determined to work her way into his life. He was so mysterious, even after a year. He kept his life with her separate from his other private life. He always brought home his work and she didn't understand a single thing. He loved teaching, she could see that, but she couldn't help but feel that she would always come second to his career.

And to his friends. She had only met Jack and Donna a handful of time. Jack was polite and nice, and only hit on her to get on John's nerves. Donna tolerated her at best, Martha could easily see that. She didn't know what she had done to her, but John had explained it as such, that Donna viewed him as a younger brother that needed to be watch over. She was a bit over-protective, but he humored her, as he had always done since they were little.

Martha had hoped that tonight, things would get better. She and John had finally moved in together, even though he had dragged his feet all the way, insisting he didn't do domestic. Martha was confident that over time, he was would get used to it and then they'd (hopefully) get married.

Poor Martha Jones. She has no idea what's coming next.