iGraduate

Carly Shay couldn't sleep. The night before she, Sam, and Freddie were set to graduate from Ridgeway, and here she was – wide awake. The reason for her insomnia was close at hand – oh, so agonizingly close. Sam Puckett slept mere feet away, naked as the day she was born. Carly wanted nothing more in the entire world than to inject herself into that – a naked tangled mess of arms, legs, and hair. But what Sam's body could do to her own paled in comparison to the feeling this would give her. It was all predicated on Sam staying asleep.

Carly knew a long time ago that this had to be her gift. This was the only thing that made sense. Sam had given her so much, the least that Carly could do was give this to Sam. It would show her exactly everything that she had tried to tell her – so many times. Carly knew that she wasn't like Sam, despite how badly she wanted to be. Perhaps that was what she was attracted to in Sam in the very first place. While Carly was something of a caged bird, Sam was free… free on so many levels. Carly wanted that. She wanted not only to love Sam, but, to a certain extent, she wanted to be Sam. There was only one thing in the world that could make this plain to Sam Puckett. She needed it to be crystal clear. She needed to leave Sam with absolutely, unequivocally no doubt whatsoever. There was only one thing in the world that could do this. Thank God that Carly Shay had possessed it for years.

She slipped out of bed silently, careful not to disrupt the blankets, for fear that Sam would miss her. Her heat. Her smell. Anything of Carly's that would cause Sam to wake, if she realized something had changed, even to an imperceptible degree. Ten feet to go. She crossed the room as quickly and quietly as she could. Five feet to go. She slid the drawer open and removed the package from where she had kept it all these years. She'd kept it in the very same place for years, and in all those years, had never acknowledged it to anyone – not her father, not Spencer, not Sam, No One. This was hers and hers alone. If you were in love, you were expected to give yourself over to the one you loved, utterly and completely, regardless of how naked and vulnerable they made you. That was what she was always told about love. Love was patient. Love was kind. Love was merciful. Carly knew better. Carly knew, of course, that love was one more thing as well, something nobody ever talked about – something that always went unsaid. Above all, Carly came to understand, love was to be absolute. Love meant exactly that. Love meant no apologies. She shut the drawer in the dark, clutching the precious cargo to her bare chest. She exhaled deeply. In the dark, she slid across the floor to her desk, pulled out her chair as far as she dared, and sat down, her naked body clinging to it.

Carly had set things out earlier that night, when Sam was in the shower. Her eyes now adjusted to the darkness, she was able to work unimpeded. She unfolded the gift box she had stashed between two binders, laying it open on the desk. The next part frustrated her. She meticulously lined the box with sheet after sheet of thin tissue paper – navy blue – praying that the rustling wouldn't wake her precious blonde. That behind her, she carefully picked up her precious gift, already wrapped, both to lessen the noise and for sentimental reasons, placing it inside the box.

"Just a few more minutes…" she thought. She prayed she had the nerve to finish everything that needed doing and slip back to bed before her love realized she'd strayed. She had already written out the card – both the interior and the accompanying envelope – so she placed it next to her gift.

She closed the box, sealing it, as best she could, with tape. She hoped it didn't look a complete hot mess, though, if it did, Sam certainly wouldn't care.

She was tired. It had been one hell of a night. It was time now to get back to the blonde who loved her so completely and get some sleep. She had a very big day tomorrow.

Reaching the bed again, Carly slipped in as deftly as she'd left. Sam Puckett was none the wiser. Making sure her hands were appropriately warm, she snaked one around her partner's naked stomach, drawing her close.

"God, I love you, Samantha Puckett…" she whispered. She felt her eyes grow heavy as her head lolled onto Sam's naked shoulder. For the rest of the night, Carly Shay slept like a baby.

RIDGEWAY HIGH SCHOOL, THE NEXT AFTERNOON…

The commencement was half over. Carly scanned the crowd, certainly not expecting to see the man, but her stomach sank a little anyway. Steven Shay had snubbed his only daughter on the biggest day of her life to date. She, frankly, wasn't surprised. Representatives of the Shay, Benson, and Puckett families sat together, completely by design. The three students were inseparable since childhood. Why should this day be any different?

Spencer was there, of course. Marissa Benson. Melanie Puckett too. Spencer's good friend Socko even put in an appearance, crowding in next to Spencer. Air Force Colonel Roger Morgan, neutral as Switzerland today, occupied the seat at the end of the row, next to Melanie.

A series of names were read aloud, none of which meant anything.

"…Samantha Ann Puckett…"

At that moment, both Carly and Melanie shared a psychic connection.

"Please God, let her not do her stupid Happy Dance…"

They were both wrong. Mercifully, however, Sam had waited to get back to her seat before dancing in place.

It was only a matter of minutes before Carly Shay flushed as red as her cap and gown.

"…Carlotta Taylor Shay…"

She could hear her Uncle Roger cheering from his seat.

"Better you than no one at all… I love you…" she thought. She could hear Spencer whooping away as well. Melanie Puckett outshone them all. For a girl who'd gone to a fancy boarding school and knew a thing or two about manners, everything had gone out the window. Carly blushed again, smiling broadly.

Carly felt absolutely blessed once Principal Franklin concluded his speech. He had honored Carly as Valedictorian, re-introduced the class, this time as the newest alumni, and called it a day.

As soon as they were separated from the rest of the group, Carly handed Sam a small box, tied with only the slightest amount of ribbon. She knew frilly and girly weren't exactly Sam's thing – at least not in public. She stood there with baited breath, anxiously awaiting Sam's reaction. Untying the ribbon, Sam opened the simple box. Tissue paper, blue, to match the ribbon.

Sam cast it aside.

Beneath the initial layer, Sam found a clunky-looking package, blue ribbon again tying it all together. Carly Shay was certainly trying to make things very difficult for her. Sam secretly loved every second.

She tugged at the ribbon and it fell away, releasing the plush outer wrapping of Carly's package. Sam pulled at it slightly, causing it to fall open. She was shocked. It was Carly's oldest, favorite, most worn, most slept in Cuttlefish t-shirt – purple with teal lettering. It too fell away, revealing the gift Carly had worked so hard to conceal: a worn, weathered, leather-bound book, measuring four-by-six.

It was then that Sam noticed a small envelope bearing her name. She opened it and read the card inside.

The lines Carly had chosen had been a tribute to her late mother. She had written down lyrics to a song that stuck in her head since childhood:

"…The Answer lies within…"

"…Why not take a look now..."

"…Kick out the Devil's sin…"

"…Pick up a Good Book now…"

Sam was intrigued. Carly's eyes brimmed with tears. Sam undid the catch and opened the book.

On the title page, where a faceplate would traditionally go, Carly had inscribed the book with a prayer. It was one she had learned well as a child, during her mother's illness. It had a new meaning today.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I can;

And the wisdom to know the difference."

Neither of the girls was overly religious. This was just Carly's way of letting her heart say what it must. Sam opened the book. It was Carly's secret journal. She had written the first entry the night of the Crazy Hat Party, celebrating the first episode of iCarly. Strangely, it was a letter. It was a letter addressed to Sam Puckett. It was a letter that Carly never intended for Sam Puckett to read.

Dear Sam,

I've been thinking about you a lot lately, and I know it's because we're best friends. Best friends shouldn't have secrets, I know, and I have one. I wish I could tell you, but the words just never come out. This is the only way I know how.

I wonder, do you have any idea how you make me feel whenever you call me 'Cupcake'? I know it probably doesn't mean anything at all to you, but to me, it's a huge deal. Whenever I hear you say that, I get this weird tight, tingly feeling in my chest. It's the most amazing feeling in the world. I wish you knew. I wish you knew a lot of things that I just can't seem to find the right way to tell you.

All I can tell you for sure is that you mean more to me than anybody – more than absolutely anybody.

I might not know a lot of things, but I can tell you one thing. I don't want what we have to change – ever. You're the best thing in my life. I think I love you, Sam.

Always your Cupcake,

Carls

"Aww, Cupcake… Oh my God…" Sam was in tears now. Happy tears. She sheepishly pulled a small box from her pants pocket, fighting her graduation robe all the way. Flushing with embarrassment, she thrust it into Carly's fingers. Her hands shook, her nerves betraying her.

Carly opened the small box. Brushing aside bright crimson tissue paper, she found what she knew could only be a jewelry box. Lifting the lid, she found a gift beyond her wildest imagining. She must have spent a small fortune on it. Sam had given her a beautiful silver necklace, bearing a simple silver heart. Carly inspected it closely, her heart leaping to her throat. It was gorgeous, but something was wrong. She examined the inscription. There, in the center of the silver heart, in a flowing, flowery script, were three simple letters, but they certainly weren't her initials. She took another look.

It took her a moment to process everything. It was then that she realized the meaning. This was absolutely intended for her and the statement behind it was beautiful. It could have only come from one person in the entire world. There was just one person who would put such thought into a gift, having it say everything they wished they themselves could.

CSP – Carly Shay Puckett.

This was but the first step in the journey of the rest of her life. Carly knew that, in order to do it justice – to do it right – there was only one way in which it could be done: With Her Sam at her side through it all.

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