One Mistake Chapter 1, an evangelion fanfic

Author's Ramblings:

So, here it is my first fanfiction, at least the first chapter.

Originally this was supposed to be a oneshot, but the story kept on growing and growing, now I guess there might be three or four chapters.

I'll try to update as soon as possible, but maybe I'll publish the first chapter of my second story first, we'll see.

I'd love to have review's, but please don't be too cruel, because then the tiny flower of my creativity might wither.

Spoken words are set in ""

Thoughts are italic

Disclaimer: I don't own NGE or its characters, but I'd sure like to.

All rights stay with the owner, which is sad, because even I might have managed a better Rebuild: 2.2.

ADD-ON 07/03/11:

Having just read EOE: Higher learning by Strike-Fizz I realized there are a few small similarities between this first chapter and HL's version of the occurrence, I assure you this is just coincidence this has all been written long before I read HL. In fact the basic events of the first chapter were in my head before I read most of the alternative retellings. I'm relatively new to this fanfic stuff, so I'm still catching up.

…and now for something completely different:

One Mistake:

Chapter One - The Attack:

Misato had a hard time organising the defence measures, for a while it had seemed as if the only possible outcome would be death for everybody at N.E.R.V. HQ, especially considering how merciless the enemy acted.

Their Security simply was no match for the JSSDF forces invading the Geofront.

The fighting even spread to the command center for some time and the bridge crew had a hard time fighting them off, barely finishing the last attackers, after the Geofront had been pried open by N2 mines.

But somehow Asuka had managed to pull herself together again and pretty much wiped the JSSDF tanks and gunships out, until a full retreat started.

With support and reinforcements for the invading forces gone and as much of the outer sections and corridors flooded with bakelite as was possible, Misato dared to allow herself a little hope

Then the MP EVA's started their attack run and when they appeared on the screens Misato was certain that Asuka and in addition probably all of N.E.R.V. was doomed.

No matter how incredibly high the german girls sync-level was right now, considering the state she had been in only hours before, somehow just the sight of these "creatures" told Misato it was over.

How was UNIT 02 supposed to destroy nine of these monsters alone, when her umbilical chord had already been severed by the JSSDF?

The beautiful, purple haired woman cursed herself, that she didn't follow her first impulse to find Shinji, drag him here and persuade him to pilot Unit 01 again.

Now they had completely lost contact with UNIT 01 and no idea were its pilot was.

Still she had to admit so far Asuka seemed to make short work of the MP EVA's.

She disposed of one opponent after the other using her EVA and it's AT field with extraordinary skill, and Misato couldn't help but be happy that the young girl, who had been no more than an empty husk, ever since Arael's attack, had managed to find her self-esteem again.

"Asuka, I promise you, if we survive this. I'll be there for you. God knows I've hurt and manipulated you kids enough for a lifetime"

She thought to herself-

"I'm their guardian, but I always put the pilots before the two lonely kids, who are supposed to be my charges. I'm almost as bad as Commander Ikari…"

She winced at the thought, but couldn't deny the truth in it.

Hopefully she'd get the chance to make amends.

Judging by what was seen in the command center, it really looked as if it was possible, because while the last few seconds of the timer ticked down, Asuka was actually down to the last two MP-Eva's.

The fiery redhead took the two enemies out, with a single punch, through both bodies and Misato almost allowed herself to relax a little, when she caught something moving in the corner of her eyes.

One of the two-bladed swords used by the MP EVA's was flying towards Asuka, who barely managed to stop it in time with UNIT 02's AT-field.

In the next few seconds, so much happened that Misato only fully realized the sequence of events, when she reviewed the recorded footage afterwards.

The destroyed and beaten MP-EVA's pulled themselves together again and started moving. The blade that was trapped changed its form until it represented a familiar weapon.

"This can't be happening! The Lance of Longinus?"

The thought shot through Misato's mind.

The next moment UNIT 02's timer hit zero, the lance hurled forward when a familiar purple-clad hand caught it mid-flight, just meters before it connected with UNIT 02's head.

Roaring furiously, UNIT 01 appeared seemingly out of nowhere, stopped the lance and hurled it back against the MP-EVA, which had thrown it.

The weapon went straight through its body and unlike before an explosion destroyed the enemy.

UNIT 01 ran up to the next MP-EVA, that was just about to regenerate the damage Asuka had inflicted upon it, while at the same time trying to get up again.

Without hesitation the purple-green clad giant smashed his fist through the enemy's body with devastating force. Ripping out what looked like an S² core.

"That's how they do it! The bastards really equipped them with S² cores."

Misato realized that even with UNIT 01 back in the battle, it wouldn't be a piece of cake.

This was torture. First she felt her heart beat painfully hard in chest, when they almost lost Asuka, then it was almost as aggravating when the girl was saved in the last minute.

Hugging the retrieved core to his chest with one arm, EVA 01 raced back to its red companion.

Taking out its progressive knife with the right hand and in the same motion throwing it into the head of another MP-EVA, which had risen to its feet on the right side of UNIT 02, just to hit the ground once again,

UNIT 01 jumped high and delivered a kick to the head of a second MP-Eva, which had simultaneously risen to UNIT 02's left.

The kick carried all the energy provided by the EVA's mad dash, taking off almost the complete head of the enemy.

Tossing the S² core into his right hand, the purple-green Mecha caught the neck of his opponent, while at the same time pressing the core into the unmoving, powerless hands of UNIT 02.

Then, grabbing the MP-Eva's neck with his right hand as well, it proceeded to savagely rip the headless enemy in two pieces.

UNIT 01 then proceeded to rip the S² core out of the remains and smashed it in his fist.

"Open communication channels to UNIT 01. I need to know what's going on!" Misato yelled at the bridge crew.

"Lines established, no visuals possible."

"Shinji? Is that you? What happened?"

No answer.

"Maya, do we still register nothing""

The petite woman's beautiful face was red from tears and horror.

All the dying hurt her and the fighting around the control center had almost been too much.

Nonetheless she carried on and now began to type away furiously at her keyboard.

"I've got a feed again. Pilot's life signs are stabilized, but the stress factor is dangerously high.

His sync-rate is at a 100%. Unbelievable."

"Damnit, if he's okay, then why isn't he answering?"

Misato's hands clasped the console before her, slamming her fist on it in frustration.

At the same time UNIT 01 took the weapon of his destroyed opponent and used it to deflect two more lances thrown at it and UNIT 02.

Then turning its head to the red-clad EVA, UNIT 01's head appeared to be totally puzzled.

The next moment it let out a frustrated cry, while almost unconsciously deflecting another thrown lance. The cry was echoed by a similar sound coming through the open com channel with UNIT 01.

It sounded feral, almost like an animal. And Misato needed a moment to actually recognize that UNIT 01's pilot had cried out a word…

"ASUKA!"

Luckily the MP-EVA's seemed to be at a loss at what to do. So far they restricted themselves to just circle overhead, looking for an opening to defeat the two Mechas.

UNIT 01 jumped back to the front of its red counterpart, rammed his weapon into the ground and took the S² power core out of the other EVA's hand.

Then he forcefully opened UNIT 02's head, with a sickening sound, opening up what looked like a a bestial mouth full of giant teeth leading into a gullet.

Unit 01 simply shoved the core into the gaping maw.

A frustrated cry roared out of the purple-green giant, as nothing happened, again echoed by an animal like growl from its pilot. Then more human but still full of raw emotion:

"Asuka, just absorb this damn thing!"

Only now Misato actually was able to definitely recognize the voice as that of Shinji Ikari.

It sounded so aggressive, that it was hard to connect it with the normally timid teenager.

Still no reaction at all from UNIT 02. What if by piercing open it's throat, it had only been damaged even more?

UNIT 01 shoulders sagged a little bit and Misato could have sworn she recognized resignation in the EVA's armoured features.

Spinning around again, facing his enemies, slowly circling in the sky overhead, the EVA let loose a defiant cry, yet again mirrored by an equally inhuman noise generated by the third child…

As if the two, Eva and pilot, dared the MP-EVA's to attack again.

Interlude:

Darkness, illuminated only by a few spotlights, showing a number of black monoliths, with numbers and the word SEELE engraved on them, arranged in a circle

"This bodes ill; three of the MP-EVA's have been destroyed!"

"Is it even possible to start Third impact now?"

"Perhaps, if we can use UNIT 01, then there's still a chance."

"We can't loose too Ikari!"

UNIT 01 still carefully watched the five circling MP-Eva's.

Shinji continued to not respond to NERV's communication attempts.

Misato could hear his fast and heavy breathing, through the link, intermingled with something that sounded like a sob every few seconds.

„Wait! Five MP-Eva Units circling above? Three destroyed. That leaves…"

Just as Misato thought of it, the MP-EVA hit by UNIT 01's prog. knife, rose from the ground in a very peculiar motion and slowly pulled the knife out of it's skull. It loomed dangerously behind the still not noticing UNIT 01.

"Shinji!" Misato cried out.

"Oh no you don't, du dreckiges Schwein!"

Another voice sounded through the control center.

One of the MP-Eva's own weapons sliced diagonally through the enemy unit behind the purple-green EVA, severing head, arms and upper body half from the rest of its torso.

With the ghostly Mecha's body on the ground, UNIT 02 searched the carcass until its S² core was exposed and then quickly smashed by the two bladed sword.

"UNIT 02 is active again! The pilot's unhurt; Sync-rate is at a 100 as well."

Maya Ibuki's voice sounded both happy and amazed.

"It must have ingested the core and used the weapon Shinji left standing in front of it"

Flashed a thought through Misato's mind. So not only UNIT 01 was able to pull stunts like this.

"Incredible, just what is going on here?"

She said aloud, but it was more to herself and she didn't really expect one of her subordinates to answer.

Only now as the core exploded, UNIT 01 and its pilot seemed to notice what was happening behind them. Shinji turned his EVA around.

"Asuka!" he shrieked, his voice full of pure joy. "Asuka! Are you ok?"

"Yes." the wilful german girl replied, followed a few moments later by: „Thanks, Shinji."

And then, sounding almost like her old self: „Not like I needed your help of course. I was doing just fine, before you interrupted me, you Baka. Ne?"

"Go.. Gomen. Of course Asuka, I know."

The relief in Shinji's voice was clearly audible.

It sounded so much like them bickering in happier times that Misato actually had to choke down tears.

„Kami-sama, I'm becoming quite emotional."

Of course it was all Kaji's fault.

Again she promised herself to do right by the children, if they all managed to get out of this with their lives.

Shigeru and Makoto were shouting enthusiastically.

"Go on! Show them what we're made of! Smash those F%&$§!"

Maya was crying, with a big smile on her delicate features and even Commander Fuyutsuki allowed himself a small, hopeful smile, while he thought.

"Yui, Kyoko, today you'd be proud of your kids. After all that happened to them the last months, they are still fighting."

He chuckled inside himself.

"Well, you two probably know this better than I do.

Now if only somebody finds a way to stop Gendo, then there might actually be hope for us."

What followed reminded Misato most of the fight with the dual angel Israfel.

The red and the purple-green clad giants, both armed with one of their fallen enemies weapons, stood back to back, covering each other.

And when the MP-Eva's continued their attack, they acted like one mind in two bodies.

Ducking, jumping, deflecting enemy's weapons, dodging other attacks.

They both seemed to know instinctively, what the other was up to, striking out in unison, never leaving the other unguarded, as if in a deadly and elegant dance with their enemies.

One picture especially stuck in her mind, when she later remembered that day…

UNIT 02 holding his guard up against two enemies at the same time, not giving any ground even when both enemies hit his weapon together, trying to overpower him and push him back, to create an opening.

Then UNIT 01 is dropping to its knees, while UNIT 02 appears behind it, hurling itself through the air, both arms extended, holding the two bladed weapon horizontally in both hands.

The weapon and UNIT 01's head not more than a few meters apart, as it passes the Eva.

Both MP-EVA's are being ripped apart by the blades.

Asuka's EVA dives into a roll, comes up again behind them, already spinning around and before the parts of their enemies have fallen to the ground, her weapon slices the exposed S² core of one enemy in half.

Almost at the same instant Shinji rams his weapon forward and pierces the core of the second opponent.

Not that it was in any way an easy battle, both EVA's had to take a few heavy hits, but still, not 10 minutes after the MP-EVA's had started their attack on UNIT 02, the core of the last enemy disintegrated, pierced by another of the lance replicas, that had been thrown by the red armoured EVA.

Silence settled over the battlefield outside, but inside the HQ, the fight wasn't over.

"UNIT 01 and 02 stand ready. I've got an idea."

Misato turned to the bridge crew.

"Patch me through to all channels, every speaker still active, anything that makes a noise!

I've got to tell these murderous pigs something and I want to be sure they can hear me!"

Moments later Misato's voice boomed through every still functioning radio, every available speaker in the Geofront:

"Attention JSSDF forces! Your attack on N.E.R.V. is unwarranted. You are being used as dupes. Your leaders have either been fooled or a part of a planned cover-up.

Furthermore all your armed vehicles, aircrafts and artillery have been destroyed. Your EVA-Units are gone as well.

I have two battle-ready EVA's awaiting my commands and I promise you, if you don't lay down your weapons and retreat, they'll slaughter everyone of you.

Just, as ruthless as you've murdered our colleagues and friends.

And make no mistake, if you continue your attack and kill all of us left alive, they'll tear down the Geofront around you and bury you here."

"Nice speech Major, hopefully they'll get the message."

Commented Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki's somber voice.

"Thanks Commander. I hope t works. Yet after the way these soldiers acted here… I don't know. I just don't know."

Misato replied, before she opened up a line to the EVA's again.

"Asuka, Shinji, I'm sorry but you have to stay in your EVA's until the attack has stopped and we find a way to make sure they won't just return the moment you let your guard down.

This will take some time, but there simply is no other way to ensure they don't kill any more of us."

Both pilots acknowledged and relaxed themselves into their seats.

Now that the rush and excitement of the battle had faded, she could see the exhaustion in both of their faces, but somehow they both didn't seem as put down as before.

As if what they achieved today had mended at least a few of the cuts their souls had received.

"I want to say one thing to both of you.

What you did today…, that you both came through for us…

After everything you had to endure because of NERV and the angels.

That you both managed to pull yourself together... I'm so proud of you. I…"

Misato searched for the right words.

"I love you both, that's all I have to say, I love you and I'm sorry for everything. I will… I will to everything I can to do a better job helping you."

Both children seemed stunned by the emotion in the young woman's voice, as was Misato herself.

She probably had felt this long before, but didn't accept it, because than she'd have to do more to protect them both.

She blushed nervously, maybe she shouldn't have spoken directly in front of the bridge crew.

She kept her face pinned to the view screen until the red receded, while she heard Shigeru and Makoto whispering and snickering to each other.

After a moment Shinji answered her with one of his shy smiles.

Asuka just sat there stunned, a look of disbelief on her face.

One moment an almost imperceptible smile seemed to build on her lips, then she shook her head and looked at Misato with mistrust and defiance all written over her beautiful features.

Misato sighed inwardly.

Asuka was so deeply hurt; she probably just couldn't believe Misato's words.

That would take a lot of work, and Misato knew she was at least partly to blame.

Neither when she was her guardian a few years back, before Kaji assumed that role, nor when she again accepted this responsibility, was she able to give the young girl the love she needed.

She had been repelled by Asuka's abusive personality and her aggressive ways, not to mention she had been fooled by Asuka's tough shell.

Of course Misato's drinking and her own personal problems, hadn't exactly helped.

"Misato, where's Ayanami?"

Shinji disturbed her train of thought.

She looked at the screens before her again, for some reason Asuka looked pretty angry from one moment to the next.

No time for that though. Shinji deserved an answer.

"We really don't know Shinji, she was nowhere to be found when the attacks started, she should be somewhere inside HQ.

Please don't worry; I'll start a search for her as soon as possible,

I'm sure she's all right"

More honest would have been to say she hoped Rei was all right.

"Please try to get some rest; I'll inform you of any important changes."

Maya looked at her, with a question on her face, her hand over the button which would end direct link with the pilots. Misato shook her head, gesturing for Maya to just end audio contact, when this was done...

"Maya close the visual feed from us to the entry plugs, but leave the other way open."

She wanted to check on them from time to time, without bothering them and this seemed like the best way to do it.

"Him, interesting." she thought and had to smile to herself.

She could see how every other second Shinji's eyes went to the monitor in which he could see his redheaded fellow pilot reclining in her seat. He smiled almost sheepishly.

If Misato had to hazard a guess, his joy probably came from seeing the rekindled spirit in the slim girl's eyes.

The energy she once again radiated every single moment.

And strangely enough even though Asuka could clearly see how Shinji ogled her, she didn't reprimand him once.

Instead she looked back at him from time to time, gracing him with a small, almost shy little smile of her own.

Still most of the time she seemed lost in thoughts, her eyes wandering around her EVA's cockpit, with what Misato could only describe as an expression of bliss.

As if... as if something the redhead had searched for a long time was all around her in the cockpit.

Misato's speech seemed to work so far. The JSSDF forces were either retreating or had at least stopped fighting.

Meanwhile Commander Fuyutsuki was on the radio, trying to reach his contacts both in the Japanese government and in the UN, hoping to get the illegal attack withdrawn.

If that didn't work than his next targets would be the media.

The security cams had caught such terrifying acts by the JSSDF that public outrage should be high enough to matter.

Misato shook her head, to clear it from the images of the dead bodies littered everywhere in the base, she could even smell the stench of burning flesh intermingled with that of the fried computer consoles.

She had to concentrate, there still were more important things do to.

With that thought one of these things came to her mind:

"Where the hell is Ritsuko?"

Some time before, in the bowels of N.E.R.V headquarters:

The emotion best describing what went on in Rei Ayanami's mind was confusion.

Even the small sense of self she normally had, felt diminished now.

Something deep inside of her had awakened something definitely not human and the small part of her that remained free of it was screaming in terror and fear.

Despite this, her body had followed Commander Ikari without hesitation, down to Lilith's prison.

Now standing on the platform, beneath Lilith's giant form, surrounded by LCL, she felt strangely detached from what was happening.

She didn't even pay attention to the commander.

She was sure; she knew what to do already. So instead she concentrated on trying to clear the confusion inside her.

There in front of her, sitting on the steps forming the edge of the platform, with her back to them sat the one human being that Rei Ayanami really disliked.

Most just didn't matter to her, some like Commander Ikari and Shinji Ikari formed her only connection to humanity.

A few others were at least a bit noticeable, for example the second child had managed to be... "annoying" seemed to be the right word for it.

But this women Dr. Ritsuko Akagi? Rei felt "anger?" directed at the bottle-blond scientist.

Thinking about her almost always brought back the memories of gruelling tests.

Hour after hour being prodded and scanned and humiliated and Rei was sure that Dr. Akagi had wilfully prolonged the most invading and hurting procedures.

From time to time, when Rei couldn't help letting out a muted cry of pain, she'd seen a cruel smile on the woman's face.

The commander and Dr. Akagi were exchanging words in what appeared like a heated discussion, but Rei really had no interests in that.

Curiously, some part of her held on to the negative emotions the woman stirred in her.

Strange, but it seemed to help to force the darkness inside herself to retreat a little bit.

What was that? Ah! The conversation had arguably come to an end.

Without listening, without words exchanged, Rei knew what the commander wanted from her.

Rei's AT field was supposed to protect him from the weapon, Dr. Akagi had protruded.

At this moment thoughts began to race through the pale young girl's mind.

She was surprised that she actually harboured even more dislike against the commander than against Dr. Akagi.

While he was one of the few people, who had shown her kindness, she knew in reality his kindness wasn't directed at her, but at his dead wife, the woman on whose DNA Rei's was based on…

Some of the things he had done to her were as painful to her as Dr. Akagi's test. And she couldn't help but feel they were wrong.

The commander had been the closest thing to a parent Rei had known and she didn't think parents were supposed to do things like that to children.

It had taken hours in the shower of her small, rundown flat, until she had felt clean again.

From that her thoughts wandered to Ikari-kun.

He always was nice to her, or had been before her mind awoke in this body, since then he seemed afraid of her.

A reaction that to Rei's surprise she didn't like.

Still he had been kind to her, without really expecting anything for it in return.

Except perhaps somebody who wouldn't hurt him.

And she hadn't hurt him, at least not intentionally.

Her new body seemed to hurt him, but hadn't she given up her previous one to protect him?

She had the feeling that what she was about to do, would hurt Ikari-kun much more and she really didn't want that.

She caught herself thinking about the smile he had sometimes directed at her.

Strangely enough the next thing to cross her mind was the second child's pretty face, full of disdain and rejection.

Her voice echoed in Rei's head:

"Doll! Commander's favourite! Doll! Teacher's pet! Doll! Puppet! Doll! Doll! DOLL!"

And once when no one else was around: "Gendo's kleines Fickspielzeug!"

She didn't need to speak german to discern, that this had been a really mean comment, as even Asuka Langley had been shocked by her own words.

Without realizing it Rei's cheeks turned an angry red, astonishing considering her usual pale complexion.

Her eyes narrowed to slits and her brow furrowed.

For the first time since she awoke in this body, Rei felt really human and she liked the feeling.

"I'm no doll, I'm not the commanders little toy. I'm my own person and I don't want to do this."

A shot rang and was reflected off of a shimmering energy field. Both the commander and Dr. Akagi gaped in surprise.

Both watched Rei with a questioning expression.

And then almost like a sleepwalker the bottle-blond woman aimed her gun at the Commander, firing shot after shot in quick succession.

The first one hitting the man's right shoulder,

The second and third one missed

The fourth one hit Gendo Ikari's hand.

And from one moment to the next part of the pressure clouding Rei's mind seemed to lift.

The fifth shot finally hit the commander's throat.

His bespectacled face turned to Rei again, a look of absolute disbelief on it, while his gloved right hand tried to stop the blood gushing out of his throat, tainting the front of his dark suit and his red shirt.

He tried to say something, but only a trickle of blood left his mouth.

He fell to the ground.

At this moment the calling in Rei's mind swelled up to a chorus. An angry maelstrom seemed to appear inside her, trying to pull what was left of her into the darkness. The attraction was so strong that Rei's small body trembled in its grip.

"You are a false object which is pretending to be a human. Look, you have a dark, invisible, and unintelligible mind within you, where the true you exist.

"I'm not an object, I'm not the commanders little toy. I'm my own person and I don't want to do this."

"Ayanami Rei is the thing that wishes to die. "

"I'm no thing! I'm human. My interactions with others have made me my own person."

"But, there's someone else who is the true you. You don't know her."

"I want to be my own self; I don't want that other me"

"Because you don't want to see that, you are trying to run away."

"I'm not running, I'm choosing. I'm choosing to be human, to stay human."

"Because she might not have a human shape."

"Yes."

Because the present you might disappear.

"Yes!"

"You've existed because he's needed you."

But now I exist because I want to. Because I need myself!

"Ayanami Rei is the thing that wishes to die. "

I'm not a thing! I'm human. No Doll! I'm human! Human!

"Ayanami Rei is the thing that wishes to die. "

I don't want to die; I want to go on living, as I am now!

The pain became unbearable, pain mixed with a promise of deliverance.

If only she'd give in to her destiny.

But she denied it.

The next moment all power seemed to abandon her, leaving her feeling hollow and empty.

Her legs couldn't support her anymore and she sank to her knees, her head dropped, her arms unconsciously hugging herself.

Rei was surprised how good it felt to just be herself again, while a part of her raged because of what she'd just lost.

From somewhere she felt the 2nd and 3rd child, both full of adrenaline and energy.

For once both of them just seemed happy, not hurt or angry as usual.

Rei heard steps coming closer and halting in front of her.

She forced herself to look up, although she couldn't believe how difficult it seemed to be.

Her gaze met a cold stare coming out of beautiful brown eyes.

The next instant Rei noticed the revolver in the older woman's hand, aimed directly at her head.

Rei stared into Dr. Akagi's eyes.

Ritsuko Akagi felt surprised, to say the least. Rei had actually helped her to kill Gendo.

She still couldn't really believe it.

And now as she looked down at the young girls pale face, she was even more surprised.

As usual Rei's face conveyed little emotion, but her red eyes seemed different.

While you always saw a hint of sadness in them, it was more than that now.

Rei's eyes were wide open, with uncried tears shimmering in them.

They seemed to beg, to plead for her life, a big why? crying out of them.

Ritsuko shook her head.

"I'm sorry Rei, I really am. I'm grateful for you letting me get him, but...

I can't stop hating you. I realize it's not your fault, but he hurt me so many years and I always thought you were to blame.

I realize now that he used you just like me, maybe worse.

Rei, I wish I was a better person, but I'm not. I can't stop myself."

With that she cocked the trigger. Rei lowered her head in acceptance; Ritsuko could see her hands folding into each other unintentionally, like for a Christian prayer. Like she wanted to protect her naked form.

For one moment she really wanted to stop, she was about to kill a child, an innocent girl.

Then she steeled herself, there was just too much bitterness inside her.

A strange thought shot through Rei's mind, how humiliating to endure this naked like she was. It had never bothered her before, but now her nudity made her feel even more defenceless.

Somehow it made everything even worse, but she had no power left to help herself against the weapon in the older Woman's hand.

A single shot rang.

A choking noise and then the sound of a body hitting the ground.

Rei looked up, puzzled. She didn't feel anything, no pain, nothing.

She looked at Ritsuko Akagi's body sprawled before her on the ground, a few drops of blood around a small hole in her unblemished forehead.

The frail, blue-haired girl searched her surroundings with her eyes; they fell on Commander Ikari holding a still smoking gun in his unhurt hand, staring at her with a wishful expression.

A gargling sound escaped his throat, as he tried to draw breath.

He whispered:

"Yui."

And then a moment later, his voice full of regret:

"Ahh. Shinji."

His head sank to the floor.

Ritsuko, couldn't say anything, the bullet had killed her the moment it hit.

What would her last word have been?

Mother?

Gendo?

Rei felt light-headed, the world seemed to tumble around her.

When everything turned to black, she was almost thankful for it.

Four hours passed, the attackers had actually begun to withdraw, directly after Misato's announcement.

But the time was needed to ensure that there would be no new attack.

Both the Japanese and the UN were enraged at the moment that they had been tricked into this attack, (or at least they claimed to be, because an attack like this couldn't have happened without at least the consent of high-ranking elements of the Japanese government).

Footage of civilian personnel being killed with flamethrowers, helpless men and woman being gunned down, after they had clearly surrendered, were over all news channels.

There was an audio recording of the killing order on the pilots and N.E.R.V had provided footage were all three of them looked like little kids, even Asuka.

In fact Misato had supplied the picture showing Asuka and Shinji, sleeping on the backseat of Misato's car, tugged into a blanket, shoulder resting against shoulder, Asuka's head pressed into Shinji's face, both kids actually drooling a little bit at the corners of their mouths.

When Misato showed the picture to the pilots, it earned her an angry shriek by Asuka followed by a just as angry scowl. Shinji blushed a deep red.

Okay, so it was funny to get these reactions out of them, but this time Misato had actually done so to ease the tension a little bit.

And if she got a laugh out of it as well, who'd blame her?

The two „lovebirds" were just too easy to get.

There was enough to do, to keep Misato's mind occupied until some time later, a very worried sounding guard reported that security had found the dead bodies of Commander Ikari and Dr. Ritsuko Akagi.

At the most guarded place in the whole HQ, no less.

Next to them lay a naked, seemingly comatose Rei Ayanami.

Misato tried to answer the man on the other end of the radio, thoughts stumbling one over the other inside her brain.

"I'm going down there myself. Wait for me. I… I have to see this"

"Acknowledged."

Misato felt dumbstruck, Ritsuko dead?

No matter how much they had fought or disagreed, the thought of losing her friend hurt very much.

First Kaji, now Ritsuko. Was she cursed to loose everything?

Was she to blame, because her need for revenge against the angels came before everything else?

She steeled herself, no need to worry the bridge crew even more.

"Get the EVA's back home, I'll take a look into this mess and then I'll greet the kids."

As she left the "bridge," she could hear Maya's broken-hearted wailing behind her.

For a moment she wanted to comfort the young woman, who'd more than just adored Ritsuko, her "sempai," but she hadn't even the faintest idea how to do this, when she felt like bursting into tears as well.

Twenty-five minutes later Misato entered the hangars, lost in thought.

She still felt a little shell-shocked.

So much had happened today and now on top of it Ritsuko was dead, evidence suggesting that she'd tried to kill Rei and did kill Gendo Ikari.

Misato knew the reasons for Ritsuko's animosity against the quiet and inexpressive EVA pilot, but she'd never believed that her friend would go so far as to try to kill Rei as well, after she already had disposed of all clone bodies.

And Rei was in a coma? After Asuka, now the second pilot in a coma?

"This better not become a trend."

Everything else she'd seen down there, she wanted to forget as soon as possible

When she finally concentrated on her surroundings again, she noticed that the pilots hadn't even left the entry plugs.

"What's wrong? Why are they still in their entry plugs?" She asked one of the technicians.

"They had to wait, because we had to get rid of at least part of the bakelite and UNIT 01 did a real number on the equipment when it broke free."

He directed Misato's eyes to the various damages. How could she have missed the destruction here?

Or perhaps, she was already so much used to it, that she didn't notice it anymore, considering the gruesome sights she had seen, while walking through the HQ.

So many dead, so much equipment lost or damaged.

The smell of blood, and the bodies burned by the flamethrowers, like a human barbecue. Sickening!

She shook her head.

"Better get a grip on yourself Misato and get your priorities straight. Concentrate on the living."

Shinji was the first to exit the plug. His body in the blue plugsuit seemed so tiny compared to the giant Mecha he'd just left.

His first look was directed at UNIT 02's entry plug, which just now ejected from the red EVA.

Before the plug opened, Shinji was already on his way.

He arrived while the familiar, red plugsuit wearing form of Asuka Langley Sohryu reached the ground.

"Asuka!"

He wrapped his arms around the redhead's lithe body, hugging her close to him.

"Asuka, I'm so happy. Asuka!"

For a moment Asuka's body tensed, then much to Misato's surprise. She rested her head on Shinji's shoulder and returned the hug.

Soon the two young pilots were joined by Misato who caught them both in a bear hug. This time the young redhead really tensed up and tried to extract herself from Misato's arms.

Her blue eyes were full of contempt and anger.

Misato wouldn't allow it, she had promised herself something and she wasn't going to give up at the first challenge.

She told the kids how proud she was, how brave they were, how sorry she was for everything.

And most important that from now on they, not N.E.R.V. would be her first priority.

Shinji let out a loud sigh and wrapped his right arm around Misato, his other arm never let go of Asuka,

Tears were running down his cheeks, but for once they seemed to be out of joy and relief.

After a while even the rigid form of the second children relaxed and she accepted Misato's caress. Still, the mistrust never left her eyes.

Misato noticed something wet on her cheeks, she realized that she was crying as well.

So much for keeping her composure.

When she finally let go, they all seemed a bit embarrassed, especially Shinji blushed a deep red when he saw two female technicians openly crying, while looking at them

He looked down for a moment and when he looked up again there was a question in his eyes.

"Misato, where's Ayanami?" Repeating the exact question, he'd asked hours ago.

Misato sighed: „I'm sorry Shinji-kun, she's in the hospital. We don't know what exactly happened, but she seems to be in a coma."

The boy could only stammer: "Why? Is she hurt?

Fear and compassion filled his voice.

He didn't notice the pain that appeared in Asuka's bright eyes, followed by anger as she withdrew herself from his embrace. Her face turning into a nonexpressive mask.

"You are doing it again; you're choosing the little doll instead of me again.

If I can't have you all to myself, then I don't want ANYTHING from you.

Why, Baka Shinji, why did you come to my rescue again, if you don't want me?"

She still felt the happiness of not only finding her mother's soul, but actually feeling her love all around her. Nevertheless the world turned a little greyer for her again.

"But when he asked me if I was okay, there was so much concern in his voice and it felt so good to be in his arms, for someone to hold me."

Conflicting emotions raged through her soul.

"There is no visible or physical wound on her, but she doesn't respond to our attempts to wake her."

"Can I... can I see her?" He seemed anxious: "I have to … I need to talk to her."

"Shinji-kun, she's not awake, shouldn't we go home, grab a bite, sleep and check on her tomorrow?"

The boy seemed hesitant for a moment, then he shrugged his shoulders.

"I guess..."

"I want to get out of the plugsuit and take a shower first." Asuka said, running her fingers through her hair."

"I'm sorry Asuka but there is no running water here at the moment, besides, the showers and the dressing room are still full of Bakelite. They are not exactly a top priority."

Asuka sighed: „Well, then let's go...home. Maybe I can at least take a bath there."

For one moment, she saw an old bathtub in an abandoned building, the water in the tub seemed somehow... discoloured.

She shook her head to clear it from these images.

"That's not me anymore; I can be a pilot again. I have my momma again. I have my honour again."

She drew herself up proudly, looking at her surroundings; her sparkling blue eyes appeared to be full of pride again.

Light-footed she walked to the exits, with wide strides...

That is to say she tried, but after the first few steps her legs failed her and she tumbled to the ground, just managing to catch herself with her arms.

Both Shinji and Misato were at her side a moment later.

"Asuka, what's wrong? Are you hurt?" Shinji put his hand on her shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" she hissed, ignoring the rejected look in his eyes: "I don't need help, Baka!"

"I will not be humiliated again. Not again!"

She tried to pull herself together and stand up, but her legs seemed to be made of jelly. What was worse, she felt her arms tire more and more.

"No! No! No! NO! You can do it Asuka! Please, I need to do it."

Inch by inch, depending on sheer willpower she forced her treacherous body up from the ground, until she stood upright on her feet again.

Sweat running down her face, mixing with the residues of the LCL, collecting between her skin and her plugsuit.

The world was spinning around wildly before her eyes.

There was no way; she could reach the exit on her own.

"No, I won't beg. I won't. I don't need help. I don't need anybody."

But another voice inside her, a voice sounding a bit like her mother's:

"You don't have to do it all alone. He is your friend. He will help you, like you would help him."

Sadly Asuka wasn't as sure as that second voice of hers, that she'd help Shinji, were the roles reversed. It was entirely as possible, that she'd make some snide remark and would be on her way.

"But I can't. I can't beg. I simply can't."

Two arms in a blue and white plugsuit grasped her right arm, supporting her, without saying a word.

He just looked at her, his care for her showing in his eyes, a cautious smile on his lips. Unsure wether she would yell at him again.

She let her head sink forward, her hair covering her face, while she felt tears running down her cheeks, without knowing way.

Then much to her surprise Misato took her other arm. Unsure what to think of it, she glanced at the older woman beside her.

"It's okay honey, your muscles are weakened, it's a wonder you managed until now."

Asuka continued to stare at her, her face half hidden behind strands of her red hair with a questioning expression on her face.

"Shit! She doesn't trust me at all anymore. She probably fears that I'll ridicule her even now."

Misato felt a sharp sting of guilt. Between her own problems and her anger over the way Asuka abused Shinji, she hadn't done anything to help her.

She remembered sitting on her bed, hearing Asuka's crying and her desperate screams and she just listened and made no move to help.

"Asuka, no one will think less of you, because of that. We all owe our lives to you and Shinji. ne?"

The german girl sighed in resignation and nodded.

She could live with that. It didn't matter that much.

And even though Misato was an uncaring, backstabbing, Shinji loving, slob, her words had actually felt good

It had taken them quite some time to reach the apartment complex.

Misato had carefully chosen a route, where the 2nd and 3rd child saw as little carnage as possible so it took a little more time…

After requisitioning an undamaged jeep the JSSDF had left, Misato drove through the devastated city at her regular neck breaking speed.

There was smoke in the air from various fires, biting in their throats because of the open car.

At least Misato's driving always helped to put things in perspective, because both kids were certain, that it was every bit as dangerous as fighting angels.

Since the elevators weren't working, they had to climb the stairs, a procedure that put a great strain on Asuka's weakened muscles.

The redhead's fiery temper flared once more, because she had to depend on Misato's and Shinji's help yet again. She was steaming the whole way up, cursing under her breath in german.

Miraculously Misato's apartment had survived the attack almost unscathed,

Only the windows were blown in and a few lighter pieces of furniture turned over.

As Misato opened the door for Asuka and Shinji, they were greeted by a loudly complaining Pen-Pen, demanding beer and fish.

Asuka gaze wandered around her room, at what her angry breakdown weeks earlier had left.

Conflicted memories were awakened, both from happier times, back when piloting her EVA had been only joy, when their strange little family was still working and later, after Arael's attack when this room had seemed like the most lonely and desolate place in the world.

She let out a sigh; somehow it almost hurt the most that Shinji hadn't cleaned up the mess. Did he even care?

She looked at the boy beside her who still supported her weak legs.

"Anta Baka? Why didn't you clean my room? You did have more than enough time."

He winced: "So… Sorry. I wasn't exactly in best form myself."

Typical Shinji, he'd probably spent the time she was in the hospital, moping in his room, full of self-pity.

Shinji could see the anger in Asuka's face. He didn't really understand why she'd be angry with him for that.

At least she didn't try to hit him so far, instead he saw something behind her angry face.

Was she actually hurt? What about him?

He wanted her to understand how he had felt.

"When you… were gone, I had no one left, I had nothing. I was alone and afraid, afraid of the EVA, afraid of Misato, of Ayanami, of everything. No one would help me. No one. I felt so lonely without you!"

He started to cry once again and hated himself for it. He didn't want to anymore

Was Shinji crazy? She had left him? He had left her alone, not the other way around. He didn't come to her help, when the Angel had sullied her mind. He hadn't helped her afterwards, when she had run away...

When she had run away? Yes, she had chosen to distance herself from him even more.

It still didn't seem fair, she had suffered, she had been hurt. But maybe, just maybe he had too.

And today he'd been there. It had felt so right, so good, the way they had fought together.

Just like when they had fought Israfel.

And when he embraced her in the hangar that had felt right too.

It had felt very good.

And then she felt his embrace again, as he wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her back to him.

He whispered into her ear.

"Please Asuka, don't leave me again. Please, stay here for me. I couldn't stand it when you were gone."

She was surprised that he was bold enough to act this way, and perhaps her reaction surprised her even more.

Her arms held unto his, as she cuddled herself to him.

Her back pressing against his chest.

Why did she feel so secure in his wimpy arms?

She turned her head to him and in his eyes she could see both his loneliness and that it was lessened because of their embrace.

"What if I try to stay? I… I don't think I can do it alone. Can you promise me to be there for me? That you'll always support me?"

"Yes, yes! As best as I can. As long as we stay here together, I won't be so afraid. I promise, I'll be there for you from now on. We can depend on each other."

His dark eyes gazed deeply into hers, captivating her bright, blue orbs.

Slowly their faces came closer, Asuka lifted herself up to him, all the time looking deep into his soulful eyes.

She could feel her heart beat faster in her chest, when she felt his warm breath on her face. („Your breath is tickling me. Don't breathe"´)

Her lips rose to his, she blushed and at the last moment choose to give him a small peck on the cheek; before she let her head sink again.

They stood there in her messy room, holding onto each other.

Relishing the comfort they could give the other.

Two broken children, but maybe there was a chance for them to heal together.

If only she could manage to trust him. Parts of her wanted nothing more than to finally trust somebody again and ever since she had felt her mother's presence in her EVA… she felt more open for it.

After a while, Asuka broke the embrace.

"Enough now, you Baka hentai! You're probably just feeling me up anyway, you pervert."

But she said it with laughter in her voice.

"Help me to the bathroom Baka. I need a bath."

"Of course, mylady Asuka."

"So for once I get the respect I deserve. That's good for you."

"Nani? How is it good for me?"

"Anta Baka? Because the great Asuka Langley Sohryu is pleased with you and rewards you with her presence. Isn't that good enough for you, Shinji?"

„Well, I guess so…"

„What do you mean - I guess so ?"

Slap!

She hit him, but it was playful and clearly in jest and Shinji found he didn't really mind.

„G… gomen, Asuka."

Asuka lolled around in the bathtub, the hot water, relaxing her tired muscles.

It was pure heaven, finally her body felt clean again, even her mind seemed less sullied, less unclean.

Her mother's presence had helped a little bit, thinking of Shinji's promise helped as well.

Still, a big part of her just couldn't believe him.

„I can't let all my defences go, he will only hurt me…."

„But he came through for you and he finally held you.."

„No, he's to weak, he can't help me…."

„Maybe he can."

Whenever her mind wandered, she would remember. Remember the glistening light from above, the feeling of it's mind forcing itself int….

She decided she had to keep her thoughts in check. No problem for her, wasn't it?

She even managed to get out of the tub and into her clothes all by herself.

Nothing fancy, just a short cut-off jeans and a pink T-shirt, but after she had combed her hair, the Asuka in the mirror didn't look all that bad.

Hesitantly she allowed herself an implied smile at her reflection.

One thing was missing, she reached for her neural connectors and put her hair up with them, into her regular style.

This time she really could smile into the mirror.

Better. Much better.

Carefully she took step after step to the bathroom door, opened it and feeling a little safer on her legs; she slowly walked into the kitchen, following the smell of food.

Misato was sprawled on a chair at the table, two empty beer cans on the table and a third one in her hand.

As usual her attire consisted of a short and a small top and nothing more.

She smiled broadly at the redhead as a welcome and belched.

Shinji stood before the stove, keeping himself busy with various pans and pots.

"Hey Shinji, what's cooking?"

He turned to her and smiled.

"Oh I just took what vegetables were left and some other leftovers. It's just a stew, nothing fancy, but there's almost nothing left except some cans and I doubt that any takeout is active today. At least not without a high extra charge,"

It wasn't much of a joke, but they still managed to laugh about it.

A.N.:

As you've probably recognized, my depiction of EOE - Air is deliberately different.

Apart for the obvious (story defining) changes, the most important probably is that UNIT 01 never fully activated. And yes, there will be some sort of explanation, how UNIT 01 appeared on the battlefield, just don't expect a big revelation.

Well that's it for now, I had some problem ending the chapter, 'cause scene after scene wanted to be included, so I finally just picked some relatively random point.