A/N: This is obviously also pre-Dalton. All characters belong to CP Coutler.

Mischief Managed:
The Adventures of the Windsor Boys

Title: The Roommate Agreement
Characters: Todd Hendricks, Dwight Houston, Drew Mapleton
Word Count: 1,513
Rating: Pg-13
Summary: Wes: 'Todd's awful forgiving of Dwight, though.'
David: 'Still feel sorry for the guy.'
Charlie: 'Well he hasn't complained. Maybe he's just pretending that the other side of his room is empty.'
Dwight: 'I'll have you know that Todd allows me to do as I please under the conditions that I should never ever ever bring him or his side of the room into it.' -CP Coulter's Tumblr

At 5:59 AM, Todd was asleep. Why shouldn't he be asleep? It was barely passed dawn on a Monday morning. The weekend had been hectic, what with the redecorating half to dorm room to accommodate his new roommate— Dwight, his name was— who was transitioning from day student to boarder. His side of the room was rather strange, but Todd didn't like to judge people. Some people just liked to be different.

The digital clock's red letters switched to 6:00, and the shrill beeping of the alarm startled Todd from his light sleep. What the hell? Hadn't he set the alarm for seven-thirty? He kept his eyes closed and winced slightly as he heard a rustle from the other side of the room. Of course his roommate had to be an early riser. How freaking perfect.

A thump and then a loud bang! made Todd just about jump out of his skin. He rolled over and sat up blearily just in time to see his roommate leap off his bed like the thing was on fire. He blinked, staring as Dwight landed in the circle of salt he had laid in the middle of the room (just on Dwight's side of tape line they put in the centre to separate their sides equally) and then rolled like a freaking ninja or something before getting to his feet and dashing into the bathroom.

Todd didn't close his open mouth until he heard the shower start up and the melodic hum of his new roommate (presumably) singing in the shower. He snapped his jaw shut with an audible click! and then swung his feet out of bed, rubbing at his eyes with his fists. He got out of his warm bed and cautiously crossed the centre-line, trotting into Dwight's half of the room and picking the alarm clock off the floor. The wall had a little indent from where it had made impact, and Todd frowned as he replaced it on Dwight's bedside table and plugged it back in.

He was going to get earplugs, he decided as he returned to his side of the room and tucked himself back underneath the warm blankets on his bed. Soon.

Over time, Todd grew used to Dwight's idiosyncrasies. He always threw his alarm into the same spot of the wall— and that ninja-roll move was always perfectly timed so that he landed in his circle and could make it to the bathroom in less than four strides. After he bought earplugs, sleeping until his own alarm went off at seven-thirty became much easier. He could still occasionally hear Dwight's alarm, but he slowly became accustomed to the sound and found he could sleep much more deeply if he slept facing the wall. It wasn't a problem.

The three AM chanting wasn't nightly, but when it happened, Todd would simply pull his pillow over his head and go back to sleep. Eventually, he stopped waking up when it happened. Or maybe Dwight had just stopped waking up at three AM to replace his salt-circles and hang garlic in the window.

...But he had probably just become used to it. That was so much more likely.

It didn't even occur to him that he could ask for a new roommate until he was talking to Drew over breakfast one day.

"I don't know how you put up with Houston as your roommate," Drew confessed over his bacon on a Saturday morning, perhaps a month after Dwight moved in. "Isn't he— y'know— a little weird?" Todd snorted.

"That's putting it mildly. I have finally convinced him not to hang garlic in the windows at night, but I think the smell is still there. I don't really know. I can't smell it anymore."

Drew blinked. "That's why you always smell like garlic? I just thought that you were Italian."

Todd had thrown a piece of bacon at him and Drew had ducked, laughing like a maniac. Drew really couldn't talk about weirdness; he was constantly setting small fires on campus, and his own dorm room was often covered in caution tape and hazmat symbols. His roommate had switched to be a day-student instead, leaving him with his own room to do with as he pleased.

"Why don't you just complain to Chaz? Ask him to change rooms? The other side of mine is open, if you want to bunk with me."

Drew's arguments were very persuasive, but Todd wouldn't budge. He wasn't going to switch roommates just because Dwight had a few strange interests. At least he felt safe in his room; more so than he would if Drew was his roommate. He'd always be worried that Drew would accidently set his hair on fire while he slept.

"That is it, Dwight!" Todd hollered, two months into their rooming. "I can't do this anymore!"

Dwight frowned, holding the heart (Was that human? Oh dear God!) gingerly to his chest. "What? Why?"

"That— that thing!—" Todd pointed to the heart, his facial expression a mixture of disgust and absolute horror, "Was on my desk. On. My. Desk!" He threw his hands up in the air exasperatedly as Dwight stared at him, nonplussed.

"So?"

"I don't want a heart on my desk, Dwight! Why is that so hard for you to understand? I can deal with the garlic and the salt. I can deal with the freaky ninja-jumping and the weird dangling skulls and the chanting and the Holy water. But not— not this. Not on my side of the room."

Dwight frowned more deeply as Todd's voice became dangerously low and his lip quivered. "I am trying to be nice. I am trying to be a good, tolerant roommate. But if this ever overflows onto my side of the room again, Dwight, I swear to God, I will request a new room."

At that, Dwight promptly turned on his heel and walked to the window, opening it with his free hand. Turning to Todd, his face straight and serious, Dwight tossed the heart out of the window. Todd sighed, putting his fingertips to his temples and sinking onto his bed.

"Thank you, Dwight."

"I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable," Dwight amended, though he looked sadly out the window as he pushed it slowly closed. "That was never my intention, and I'll try not to do it again." He wiped his palms on his slacks and then held out one hand. "Roommates?"

Todd sighed and took Dwight's offered hand in a firm handshake. Then he paused, a look of horror passing over his usually calm features. "Oh, God. You touched a heart with that!"

Tearing his hand out of Dwight's grip, he raced into the bathroom in order to run it under scalding water, making a face as he heard Dwight's delighted chuckle through the wall.

Todd was a very patient young man. After his hands were clean, he went to his desk (which he sterilized before use) and began to draw up an agreement that would be optimum for the both of them.

The Roommate Agreement

I, Thomas Dwight Houston, hereby agree to the following terms:

1. I will never bring any human or animal remains, plant life, fluids, poisons, weapons, tools, insects, potentially cursed items, or any other object which may be offensive, disgusting, dangerous or generally gross into my roommate's, Todd Hendricks's, side of our shared dorm room.

2. I will never leave any of the aforementioned objects unattended or in the open for any length of time on my side of the room, either.

3. I will always wash my hands after handling any of the aforementioned objects, especially if I plan to touch my roommate Todd Hendricks, for any reason.

4. I will never attempt to exorcise my roommate, Todd Hendricks.

5. I will never bring anything potentially diseased into our shared room.

6. I will forewarn my roommate, Todd Hendricks, of any and all spiritual activity that may be happening in our room and give him a chance to pack his things and sleep in a different friend's room is so desired.

7. I will not attempt to wake my roommate, Todd Hendricks, for any reason unless he is in discernable danger from fire, contamination, structural collapse, or natural disaster. This does not include possible haunting, demonic possession, paranormal activity, or spiritual presence.

8. I will not attempt to include my roommate, Todd Hendricks, in any of my paranormal activities.

9. I will not spray my roommate, Todd Hendricks, with Holy water.

10. I will not hang a Devil's Trap from the ceiling of our shared dorm room ever, EVER again.

Signed, Thomas Dwight Houston, Hunter

I, Todd Hendricks, hereby agree to the following terms:

1. I will not interfere with my roommate, Dwight Houston, in any of his paranormal Hunting activities.

2. I will not, under any circumstances, touch anything on my roommate's, Dwight Houston's, side of the room. Ever.

3. I will occasionally clean (or supervise in the cleaning of) our room if/when it becomes inhabitable, odorous, or demonically possessed.

Sighed, Todd Hendricks