Title: This Ain't a Love Song
Author: LAKenobi
Rating: G
Summary: Oneshot attempt to make some sense of St Berry. Post-Funk. Season 1 spoilers.
Disclaimer: I'm borrowing Glee from FOX and This Ain't a Love Song from Bon Jovi and Island/Mercury.
And there she was, back at the scene of the crime.
No, not the carpark. Rachel shivered. When she walked through the carpark these days, she could still smell the sickening stench of the eggs that the Vocal Adrenaline kids had hurled at her.
No, Rachel was at the music store where it all began; where Jesse St James had stolen her heart with a Lionel Richie song, a piano and his beautiful voice. Rachel passed that same piano, now sitting alone in the middle of the room with no magical fingers dancing across its keys, and headed to the shelves of sheet music, looking for a song that would speak to her.
Instinctively she found herself among the artists listed under 'B', as if "Rachel Berry" would suddenly appear alongside them. Instead she found "Bon Jovi" at her eye level. Bon Jovi was a band with no shortage of big ballads that Rachel could perform lead on, and she took it as a sign, pulling a random sheet from the shelf and opening it up.
Should've seen it coming when the roses died
Should've seen the end of summer in your eyes
Should've listened when you said goodnight
You really meant goodbye…
####
Jesse sat at the piano in the Carmel High auditorium, clumsily stringing some chords together as if he were suddenly unsure of how to play. He had always been sure – sure of his music, sure of his friends and where he belonged, sure that he would be a star… sure of everything. He was going to win his third title with Vocal Adrenaline and graduate having achieved all that he had set out to achieve at the start of the year.
But now something had changed, and that something – or someone – had made Jesse St James question everything he had ever taken for granted.
Baby ain't it funny how we never ever learn to fall
You're really on your knees when you think you're standing tall
But only fools are know-it-alls
And I've played that fool for you…
####
Rachel's lip quivered slightly. She began singing softly along with the notes as the aching betrayal in her heart squeezed a few more tears from her eyes.
I cried and I cried
There were nights that I died for you, baby…
###
Jesse closed his eyes, the memories rushing through him. Rachel gushing at a million miles an hour. Rachel singing like an angel. Rachel telling Jesse she wasn't ready. Rachel longing for her mother. Rachel staring him in the eye and telling him to go ahead and break the egg on her face, like he'd broken her heart.
I tried and I tried to deny that your love drove me crazy…
####
In the McKinley High choir room, Brad faithfully played from the sheets in front of him as Rachel poured her soul into one of her best vocal performances since joining Glee club.
If the love that I've got for you is gone
If the river I cried ain't that long...
####
Jesse had meant what he said about loving Rachel. How could he not? She was an attractive female version of himself. But he had stomped on her heart to answer the call of glory and fame, and there was no going back. He had made his bed and he would lie in it, all the while acting like the self-assured Jesse of old that everyone knew.
I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong
This ain't a love song…
####
Rachel opened her eyes to face the awkward looks of pity on the faces of her fellow Glee club members. She straightened her back, looked up to the heavens and tried to imagine a world where Jesse St James had never existed.
If the pain that I'm feelin' so strong
Is the reason I'm holdin' on
Then I'm wrong, yeah I'm wrong
And this ain't a love song
A/N: Hmm, I'm not sure if that really made much sense of anything... but surely it can't make any LESS sense than the "I really care about her and now I'm going to smash eggs in her face" resolution we got in season 1. :P Maybe the return of Jonathan Groff will answer some questions. ;)