"Die, ghost!"

A wave of blaster fire scorched lines in the elaborate wallpaper design.

He phased back into view against the wall, semitransparent form solidifying. His arms were crossed and red eyes under a raised eyebrow shone dangerously.

"Is that the best you can do?" The ghost smirked, zipping in one side of the richly decorated wardrobe and out the other as another wave of shots rocked plaster from the ceiling. Raising a glowing hand, he spun one heavy gilded chair on its end and sent a bolt of energy rocketing towards her.

Maddie dove, tumbling onto the thick carpet, weapon already up and firing off by the time he'd swooped through the four-poster's curtain to zap her again. "Oh, no you don't!" she shrieked, whipping out a baton and striking his leg. It happened too fast for him to go intangible; he shouted and cringed at the touch.

"Oh! An electric shock! It burns!" he cried.

"That's not the last of it!" she said, whipping out an even larger weapon and firing, the close range hitting him dead-on and sending him flying into the wall, pinned by a glowing green net. A portrait clattered to the floor.

"Gotcha," she said, clambering up onto the bed and crawling forward.

"You ruinous ghost hunter," he said, but his cocky, nasty snarl had been replaced by a positively saccharine purr. "How dare you ensnare me like this?"

"You tell me, scum," she said, the word dropping from her lips like candy. Maddie was upon him now, palm pressed into his white chest and face bare inches from the restraining ecto-bonds.

"Oh, Maddie," he whined, pouting and straining forward to peck her nose. "I've done the big bad ghost act, now it's your turn. Pretty please?"

She smiled. "Oh, all right," she said, planting a kiss on his lips. Before she knew it, they were lost in warmth, his cold breath tingling strangely on her cheek, her face trapped against his shoulder, breathing him in. As he smoothly, gently stepped down in a halo of white light, she drew him into an embrace, mouth misting by his ear. "You tell me, lovemuffin."

The next thing she knew, her mask was gone; and her hazmat jumpsuit went with it in a rain of sweet touches and kisses, though she'd retained her utility belt. He, too, was shedding clothes like an autumn oak, custom-tailored suit abandoned in the new Oriental, and she certainly couldn't keep her fingers away from his sturdy trunk. They rolled over together in bed, in their underwear, and Vlad made a face at the scorch marks above their heads.

"I'm going to run out of new guest rooms someday," he sighed.

"You could always hire someone to fix the old ones up, sweetie" she pointed out, tracing circles on his chest. (Actually, they were runes – ancient Mayan ghost-killing runes. But he didn't have to know that, and they wouldn't work unless she wrote them in blood, so they were safe on both counts.)

"Feh!" He said, waving his hand dismissively. "I shall simply have to buy more houses."

"We might as well make the most of this one while it's standing, though," she remarked.

Vlad turned and nuzzled her collar bone. "I like the way you think, my dear." His ponytail moved just the slightest bit out of sync with the rest of him, and Maddie had never realized how completely fascinating it was. It trailed behind, now, as he sat up. "One more round of ghost versus hunter?" he teased, lifting a hand to pantomime claws.

"You are too considerate, honeypot," she said, drawing a pair of handcuffs from her belt. He laughed.

"I'll indulge you as long as you indulge me, Maddie," he said, and an instant later his warm human face was replaced by fangs and a pallid, sick-looking sheen. He lunged for her throat.

"Take that!" she shouted, flipping backwards in a back handspring, foot catching him on the chin. It was only a tap, but he flung himself upwards and backwards into the headboard, shouting in pained surprise and fury. Vlad went intangible and melted into the front of the bed, sinister laughter ringing from every corner of the room. Suddenly, Maddie felt a rush of cold air as he came up behind her. She whirled, gun raised to his hands glowing with ectoplasm, and fired.

He let himself get hit once, exaggerating the agony it inflicted; but a shield deflected the others, and as he advanced on her Maddie found herself really turned on.

Which was why she raised the handcuffs next. "You'll wish you never set foot in this town, ghost," she said. Oh, the way his lips curled at that – she would absolutely smother him in pet names and cutesy words while he wriggled in the cuffs for that.

"What's next?" He said, giving no indication of the same sexy adrenalin rush she found herself caught in, though she could see it in the excitement of his posture, the way his shoulders didn't push themselves too far down or too far up for once.

Vlad landed lightly on the carpet, stepping forward. "No, let me guess." The villain's role suit him; everything from the Transylvania Terror ghost-hair to his unmatched way with sardonic quips. He was the perfect ghost to fight, and the only one she'd never destroy.

"'This town ain't big enough for the both of us?'" His eyebrow raised again, and she was getting ready to pounce on him with those cuffs, when a glow came from the opposite wall and caught him directly in the stomach.

"You got that right, Plasmius!"

"Oof!" Vlad said, face turning from seduction to shock just a moment too late. A beam of green light sent him slamming into the wall he'd just come through, and Maddie turned, scrabbling for the net gun she'd left by the nightstand, as a painfully familiar menace hovered into view, arms crossed, a cocky smirk very different from Vlad's in place upon his far-too-white features.

"I'm sorry, cat got your tongue?" He taunted the other ghost. "Not that I'd expect anything else. You definitely don't have any f-"

Phantom caught sight of Maddie then, and his face froze.

"Fuh-" he had time to say, the word kicked from his chest with the impact of a high-caliber ecto-net.

She rushed to Vlad, who was rubbing his head. "Are you alright, sweetie?" she said gently, laying an arm on his.

"I'll obliterate that little- yes, I'm fine, Maddie dear, thank you," he said, taking her hand to stand back up. Both turned to face Phantom, struggling where he was pinned against the wall.

"Get away from him!" The ghost boy cried. "Mo- Maddie, are you alright?"

Vlad rolled his eyes. "Can't you stay out of my business for, oh, one night a week? You insufferable pest," he snarled, hand lifting to grasp at the air as though he wished Danny's neck were there.

"I don't know why you have m- a woman undressed in here, but I won't let you get away with it," Phantom growled.

"Truly fearsome," Vlad said. The bass in his tone left Maddie wishing she had brought the thermos, or something with the ability to actually destroy ghosts, so they could get rid of Phantom and get back to business. She palmed her belt.

"Looking for this?" Vlad winked, holding up a Fenton thermos.

"Thank God," Maddie said in relief. "I thought I hadn't brought one."

"Oh, I saw it on the floor over there," Vlad said, nodding at the wall Phantom had come through. "Funny things, memories."

"What are you doing?" Phantom said, voice cracking.

"This will only take a moment, sweetie," Vlad murmured to Maddie. "I'll take care of it." He walked over to the wall, and Phantom squirmed more than ever.

"You can come out when we're done," he whispered into Danny's ear as the thermos clicked open by his arm.

"You are seriously in for it," the boy replied, venom in his voice. "Don't touch my mother."

"Oh, Daniel," Vlad sighed. "We're consenting adults."

The ghost boy's form tugged and dragged into the device in his hand, which was promptly tossed across the room. As Vlad lay on the plush comforter, Maddie's knees straddling his hips and her arms above his head, securing his wrists to the headboard, he smiled.

That look on Danny's face was worth a hundred interrupted nights.