Title: One Hand, One Heart

Rating: T

Warning- indirect mention of rape.

Summary: Rachel Berry never saw it coming. But then it happened. Now, alone and frightened she tries to continue with normal life. Then she meets a certain, curly haired boy. And everything changes.

Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own Glee, if I did Jesse would still be there and St. Berry would be alive and kicking. But he isn't. From this we can conclude that I don't own Glee.

xxx

The evening of Jesse's performance and the evening of Nationals approached far too quickly for everyone. Jesse allowed Rachel to sit in on one of his rehearsals and she managed to stay silent throughout, giving him a detailed analysis on their trip home. She assured him that he was, of course, brilliant, but that the rest of his cast needed work or he would outshine them all. He had laughed at her backhanded compliment and hugged her, saying that he was sure they would perk up soon.

Rachel also got bigger as the months went on. She became more tired and there were many evening where Jesse would sit rubbing her sore feet after a gruelling day of rehearsal. She was actually a lot smaller than many other pregnant women at her point in the pregnancy and it worried Rachel. But Julie, her doctor, had assured her that there was no such thing as normal and that all babies were different sizes. She had then gone on to point out that she should be grateful and that some women, at six moths through their pregnancy, could barely walk, let alone dance.

Jesse knew that this would not be satisfactory for Rachel, so he was almost unsurprised when he had entered her room to find her sobbing into her pillow, one morning before an all day glee rehearsal.

"Hey," clambering into bed next to her, he had gathered her into his arms, holding her close. "Hey, come on now, what's wrong?"

"I can't do it." She sniffled into his shirt, nuzzling closer to him.

"There's nothing Rachel Berry can't do." He had told her, firmly and she had laughed weakly before saying, her voice almost a whisper.

"I'm going to lose us Nationals."

"What?" He had demanded, sitting up straight and forcing her to look at him. "How in the world could you lose us Nationals? You're our female lead Rachel!"

"I can't perform to my best!" She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest and looking down at her blossoming belly. "I can't do anything."

"Well then," he settled beside her, taking her hands and saying, reasonably. "The baby certainly doesn't affect your voice and you still dance as well as ever."

"Don't lie to me Jesse," she scowled at him. "I can't dance any more."

"I disagree," he shook his head. "You are extremely graceful."

"Jesse!" She almost growled at him. "I can't even see my feet!"

"Well…" He looked contemplative. "If you really think you're going to affect the team then maybe you shouldn't compete."

"What?" She snapped, furiously. "What do you mean, not compete, I hold that team together, there's no way I couldn't compete."

"Well then," he smirked at her. "We'd better get to rehearsal."

Rehearsals, despite Rachel's fears, were actually going along far better than Jesse had anticipated. The team were determined, now that, through some stroke of luck, they had gotten this far in their first year, that they would win Nationals and their determination did wonders for their focus.

Jesse had to admit that life was a little busy at the moment, the rehearsals for Nationals were not physically taxing but he always came out of them emotionally drained. He spent a good half of the sessions shouting commands at the rest of the team, informing them that Vocal Adrenaline would have been on three weeks of 24 hour rehearsals by now. He knew they resented him for it but he honestly couldn't care less. The rehearsals for Hamlet were coming on far better. The rest of the cast were slightly older than him and had been doing amateur dramatics for a long time, so the whole cast was off book in a few weeks and the rehearsals, unlike the New Directions rehearsals, were not rife with petty complaints and childish squabbles.

By the time opening night swung around, only a few weeks before Nationals, Jesse knew that the cast were ready. They were only performing five shows, because of the generally busy schedules of the director and most of the cast, but every night was sold out and Jesse was unsurprised, but still touched to learn that Rachel and her dads had acquired front row seats to watch. His own parents, although being fully aware of the performance, were not in attendance, which came as no surprise to Jesse.

The night of the play he sat in his dressing room, reading through his script one final time and jumped when he felt a hand on his arm.

Turning, he smiled at her.

"Hey! How did you get back here?"

Rachel smiled coyly and perched in his lap. "Even pregnant I can still woo a man you know."

"I have no doubt," he pecked her lips, smiling. "You wooed me."

"That I did," she agreed, wishing she could touch him, but unwilling to ruin his stage make up. "I just came to wish you luck. And give you these." She presented him with a bouquet of red roses and he smiled at her.

"Roses?"

"I know it's normally the guy that gives the flowers but," she shrugged. "I figured… why not mix it up?"

"I love them," he promised and leant up to kiss her again when he heard the admonishing tones of his make up artist, who shooed Rachel angrily out of the door and proceeded to scold Jesse until he was stood in the wings.

The play went splendidly, as Rachel had predicted it would and by the end the cast were called out to bow with a standing ovation. When Jesse finally escaped the congratulations backstage and managed to hurry to his dressing room, change and make his way out into the lobby of the theatre he expected everyone to have left because it had taken him so long to arrive. When he got to the lobby, however, it was still packed with people and he ducked through the crowds, happy to accept their congratulations, but eager to find Rachel again.

"Hey, kid." Turning, he looked in surprise at the tall man stood behind him. His hair was short and brown and he had an imposing figure, an air of confidence that made the crowds part around him, as opposed to him moving for them.

"Hello?" The greeting came out as more of a question as Jesse looked at the man. "Sorry, do I know you?"

"Not yet, I'm Jason Marks." He held out a hand and Jesse took it, shaking it once and smiling a little.

"Jesse St. James," he replied, politely.

"Good to meet you," Jason smiled at him and said. "I'm not going to beat around the bush, it's useless. Have you ever thought of acting professionally?"

"Yes, it's actually what I want to do." Jesse gave him a curious look. "Why do you ask?"

"I happen to be a casting director. I'm here to watch my nephew, but you have real skill son."

"Thank you." Jesse tried to contain his excitement, watching the man with polite approval. "That means a lot."

"Well this will mean even more; I'm casting for a movie at the moment and I want to offer you a part."

"A part?" Jesse gaped at him. "But… you've only just met me."

"And?" Jason cocked an eyebrow. "I've seen you acting and that's really all I need to know. It's only a tiny part anyway, so it's not like you'll make or break the movie."

"Oh… I mean, wow, that's… that's great thank you so much."

"I like talent kid," Jason eyed him. "And you've got it. I don't give free rides though. I'm gonna be straight with you right now because, if you decide to get into this business that's something you won't come across very often. I'm gonna give you this break. You'll have to come in for some screen tests and I'll need to check with a few of my colleagues, but I'm pretty sure you'll get the part. I'm gonna pluck you out of obscurity, but I'm doing this because when you make it big, kid, you'll be able to mention me, understand?"

"Got it." Jesse nodded once and the two men exchanged numbers.

"I'll be in touch." He held out a hand and Jesse shook it once, watching him walk away with a pleasant feeling pooling in his stomach.

"Jesse!"

He turned in time to catch Rachel as she barrelled into him, hugging him tightly to her and beaming up at him.

"It was amazing!" Her exultant squeals were muffled by his shirt and he smiled at her, returning her embrace happily. "You were wonderful, simply marvellous!"

"Thank you," He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and glanced back to see Jason watching him. He inclined his head and Jesse returned the acknowledgement politely.

"Who's that?" Rachel peered around him to watch Jason walk away. "Do you know him?"

"No," Jesse shook his head. "Just… just a fan Rache. Come on, let's find your dads."

"Okay," She was easily distracted and followed him towards where her dads were stood, smiling at them.

"Jesse," To Jesse's surprise, Hiram stepped forward to embrace him and he returned it after a moment's hesitation. "It was wonderful."

"Thank you sir," Jesse stepped away, looking at him with surprise.

"It was very good," Leroy held out a hand for Jesse to shake and said, as he took it. "I'm normally quite precious about Shakespeare, but you did him proud, well done son."

Jesse smiled, pleasure running through him at the two men's congratulations. "I'm glad you think that sir, it meant a lot to me to be involved."

"Would you like to come home with us tonight?" Hiram asked, as Rachel snuggled further under Jesse's arm. "We're going to watch a movie and have some ice cream, you can crash in the spare room."

Jesse gaped at them both, surprise painting his features. For the last few weeks the Berry men had kept him at arms length, not quite ready to forgive him for the past month or so of grief. Though Rachel had tried to tell them time and time again that the break up was equal parts her fault, they were still decidedly chilly with him.

He glanced down at Rachel, wondering if she'd had any part in this sudden change of heart and was unsurprised to see her beaming at him. HE suspected she had had some strong words with them recently.

"That would be great… thank you." Jesse smiled and Rachel's smile only widened.

"Daddy, papa, Jesse and I will ride back to our house in his Range Rover and meet you there okay?"

"Okay poppet," Hiram smiled and tugged at Leroy gently. Leroy nodded his agreement and then said, strictly.

"Your car will be right behind ours, I'm sure."

"Yes sir," Jesse hurried to agree and Leroy nodded once, following Hiram out.

"Do you need to see anyone?" Rachel asked and Jesse looked up, scanning the room, his eyes widening when he suddenly spotted the familiar figure of his old glee club coach approaching them.

"Don't look now," He murmured into her hair, looking slowly away. "But I think we're about to have company."

"What?" Rachel looked up, despite his warning and clocked Shelby, her eyes widening. "Oh my God," She breathed and Jesse didn't have time to reply before the woman was upon them.

"Jesse, Rachel, two people I haven't seen in a long time." She looked at them, Rachel tucked firmly beneath Jesse's arm, and raised an eyebrow. "I see you made up." She commented dryly and Rachel's temper bristled.

"Yes, we did." She snapped and Jesse sighed inwardly as he felt her muscles tense, a sure sign that she was preparing for battle.

"Rache," He tugged on her. "We'd better go, your dads will be expecting us. Nice seeing you Shelby." He gave her a quick nod and hurried Rachel away before Shelby could comment, losing her in the crowd and pretending to miss the way she called their names.

Rachel was still bristling furiously, her whole body trembling as Jesse helped her up into his tall Range Rover. Clambering in beside her, he started the engine and was pulling out of the parking lot before she began to speak.

"I can't believe she would come here. After all that she's done, she still wants to speak to us. She still thinks that we want to speak to her."

"Is it because she tried to make us join Vocal Adrenaline?" Jesse asked, softly, his eyes glued to the dark road in front them as they drove.

"Well… yes, sort of." Rachel huffed in frustration. "It's just… everything. The way that she's dealt with the whole affair, the things she said about the baby, the way that she tried to impose herself upon me. It was all just so wrong. And she messed with you. I mean, she messed with us both, but she used you, like a pawn or something. She has no regard for anyone else, everything she does, she does for herself."

Rachel slumped in her seat, her weary face illuminated by the glowing light of the dashboard.

Sighing, Jesse reached over and took her hand, rubbing soothing circles on her palm as he said. "I'm sorry, I know you're disappointed."

"I just… I wanted a mother." Rachel said, her voice catching and Jesse felt his stomach clench at the sound of it. "I wanted someone to love me like a mother does. Someone to braid my hair and talk to me about boys and the baby."

"You have that," Jesse told her. "You have two of the best men I've ever met for dads Rache, I think that you've got everything you'll ever need with them."

"I know," She sighed, squeezing his hand. "I know that, I really do. And… I know that even if Shelby had been a better mother we've gone too long for us to be able to do any of the stuff I wanted us to do… I guess… she'll always be my mother but she's never gonna be my mom."

Jesse let this sink in for a moment, driving in silence as he thought through what she said. Finally, his voice soft, he said. "I think you're gonna make a great mom Rache."

"You do?" Her smile was almost blinding and he smiled at her.

"Yeah I do." He said, smiling. "I also think that you don't need to worry about Shelby because you don't need a mom Rache. You're already grown, you've already been raised without her help so why would you need her now?"

She didn't reply for a long moment, thinking, but just as he was beginning to get worried she said, her voice tender.

"I love you. You're right."

"I love you too." He told her, as they pulled up by her house. Leaning over, he gave her a quick peck on the lips, his eyes widening when she reached around to lace her fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck and pull him closer, kissing him harder. His hand reached out to cup her cheek, stroking it gently with his thumb and holding her close.

Finally, he broke away, leaning his forehead against hers so that their noses just brushed as he tried to catch his breath.

"Did I wear you out?" She teased, slightly breathless and he stuck his tongue out at her.

She took the opportunity to kiss him again, leaning forward to press her lips against his, her tongue slipping into his mouth as she bent over him, one hand struggling to support herself as the other wrapped around his neck. He forced himself to pull away, laughing at her pout.

"As much as I would love to continue." He teased, grinning at her. "Your dads are just inside and I don't want to lose any more of their trust, I know I'm on here on sufferance as it is."

She rolled her eyes at him, but sat back and clambered out of the car.

When they arrived inside they were greeted by a gorgeous smell wafting in from the kitchen. Hiram poked his head around the door and smiled at the pair of teens.

"Jesse, Rachel," He greeted them welcomingly. "We were just beginning to wonder if you were lost."

"We got a little deterred, sir." Jesse explained, squeezing Rachel hand gently in his own as she shifted next to him.

"What exactly deterred you?" Hiram asked, leading them into the kitchen and pulling out a chair for Rachel to sit on.

"Shelby." Rachel said darkly, slumping in her seat.

"Shelby?" Leroy turned from his place at the stove to look at them, worried.

"She cornered us." Jesse explained, sighing heavily. "We didn't talk for long but… it wasn't very amiable."

"What did she want?" Hiram sat in the seat beside Rachel and reached over to take her hand, but looked up at Jesse when he spoke.

"Just to talk to us I think… to breach the gap. Any deeper intentions she had are as much a mystery to me as they are to you, sir." Jesse shrugged, squeezing Rachel's shoulder comfortingly.

"Good to here it son," Hiram smiled at him warmly and Jesse flushed a little.

"Why don't you guys go and wait in the living room while Hiram and I cook dinner?" Leroy asked, without turning, "it'll be about fifteen minutes."

"We could go up to my room," Rachel suggested, smiling at Jesse with a twinkle in her eyes.

"No," Leroy snapped suddenly, turning to look at them.

"It won't be very long until dinner's ready," Hiram jumped in, hurriedly. "You're better to just stay in the living room kids."

Rachel opened her mouth as if she was about to argue but Jesse interrupted her quickly. "Of course sir, we'll watch some TV. Come on Rache."

Following him out and into the living room, she settled next to him on the couch, huffing even as she curled up beside him.

"Why did you stop me?" She demanded. "We could have gone upstairs and continued what we were doing in the car." Her hand played with the hair at the nape of his neck and she pressed her lips against his for a moment, until he pulled away. "Jesse," She whined, scowling at him.

"I told you Rache, I'm here on sufferance only, I don't think your dads would appreciate us making out during a family dinner."

"Fine," She huffed, settling next to him again and snuggling closer into the crook of his neck. "But I'll be having words with them."

"You do that," He laughed softly. "But until then, we'll have to keep it on the down low okay?"

"Okay," She agreed and they sat, talking quietly until they were called in for dinner.

After a pleasant dinner, the family and Jesse sat down to play board games and then watch a movie together. Jesse and Rachel curled up together on the couch, Leroy sat mere inches away from them and Hiram settled in the arm chair. Every few minutes Leroy would shoot a look at Jesse and Rachel to see whether the two teens were up to anything they shouldn't be but, much to Rachel's disappointment, Jesse was the picture of perfection all evening.

When her fathers went to get coffee, Rachel rose to follow them and the three Berrys were occupied for quite a long time, Jesse tempted to listen at the kitchen door, but unwilling to invade on their privacy.

When they finally emerged, he could tell who had won their argument. Rachel smiled smugly as she sat beside him, cuddling him close and Leroy sat stiffly beside them, his jaw set but his eyes resigned. Hiram, as ever, just smiled between the two of them, happy to be the peace keeper.

"Everything okay?" Jesse asked, after a long pause.

"Perfect," Rachel answered him, beaming and when he could get no response from the two men he shrugged and started the movie again.

When it was finished, he glanced down to see Rachel, her eyes shut, sleeping against his chest. Her body was heavy and warm and he shook her gently to wake her, kissing her nose.

"Rise and shine Sleeping Beauty," He quipped softly, smiling at her affectionately. "Time for bed I think, someone is tired."

"I'm not tired," she cut herself off with a large yawn, her mouth stretching wide open.

"Oh really?" He laughed softly. "I don't believe you."

"You've both had long days." Hiram put in. "It's late, we should all probably go to bed."

"Jesse," Leroy cleared his throat, rising to his feet as he spoke. His expression was creased in painful awkwardness. "Rachel, Hiram and I have discussed it and we've decided that you should sleep in Rachel's room tonight."

"Really sir?" Jesse's mouth fell open, Rachel smiling smugly beside him.

"She put forward a convincing case." Leroy admitted. "She said that she would probably end up sneaking into the spare room anyway, even though you would play by the rules. She also said that she sleeps best when she's at your side."

Jesse glanced down at the girl in his arms. "Really?" He asked.

She nodded, snuggling closer to him. "You keep the nightmares away," she confessed in a whisper.

"So… sleep in Rachel's room tonight but no uh," Leroy was slowly turning a darker and darker shade of puce as he spoke. "No… funny business."

"Of course not sir," Jesse promised, kissing the crown of Rachel's head. "Thank you sir, goodnight."

Together, the two teens made their way upstairs. Rachel ran through her long, complicated toilette first and then Jesse followed, slipping into bed beside her when he was done.

"Hi," She turned to smile at him, her gaze sultry as she ran a hand up his arm and he glanced down to see that she was wearing only a scrap of lace beneath the covers.

"Oh," His voice caught in his throat as he stared down at her, gulping obtrusively and he tried to control himself.

"What's wrong?" She murmured, slipping a hand up his arm.

"Rache, you can't… you can't wear that right now." His voice was strangled, unable to tear his gaze away from the lace that had shifted high up her thigh, showing the curve of her butt.

"Why not?" She asked innocently, the fingers of her other hand slipping up his thigh, her touch feathery light.

Letting out a choked groan, he twisted himself, scrambling from the bed hurriedly. Standing, he took a deep breath, his eyes fastened on her. She sat up in the bed, the sheet pooled around her as she looked up at him, hurt shining in her eyes.

"I'm sorry," He sighed heavily, stepping towards the bed again and sitting on the edge. Reaching out he cupped her cheek, raising her eyes to meet his. "I just… Rache I can't focus with you in that. I made a promise to your dad and I don't want to break that. IF you don't change I'm going to have to go and sleep in the spare room."

She huffed, getting slowly out of bed, her stomach making it harder to storm than she would have liked.

"Fine."

He slid into bed and she joined him a few minutes later, in flannel pyjamas.

"Better?" She demanded.

"Yes," He took her in his arms again, kissing her neck until she relaxed into him.

"I don't know when you became so virtuous." She snapped, still slightly irritable.

"You know how I feel about your dads right now Rache, but trust me…" He sucked gently on the skin just below her ear, making her squirm a little, a soft mewl leaving her mouth. "If your dads weren't here…" He trailed off, smiling at her and she cuddled him, leaning up to whisper in his ear.

"I hope that day comes soon."

Xxx

"the next update will come sooner"

I AM A HORRIBLE HUMAN BEING

What happened? I don't even know to be honest. I went through some self confidence issues back in October and November that were actually pretty crippling, especially because I didn't talk to anyone about them and I'm still sort of climbing that mountain, y'know? It's getting better though, I'm a lot better than I was. I'm going to tell you straight, because if you're still reading this then you deserve to know, I was at my lowest in Oct/ Nov. I just felt like an awful writer, a terrible singer, a bad student, everything I valued myself on felt like it was crumbling around me. But yes, back from tales of woe I'm much better now… but I'm still scared. I get this terrifyingly paralysing fear when I update because I'm really insecure and my writing means a lot to me and yeah.

Basically, I got too scared but now I'm trying this thing where I'm actually trying to be brave.

"I write when my fear of not writing overcomes my fear of writing."

That quote resonates with me.

Okay yes, this got long.

So please leave a review, even a scathing one that scolds me for the time this took. In fact… that would probably be a pretty good thing to do.

Sorry.

Again.

Love to you all,

Ray

xxxx