This is a plot-bunny that I cannot get out of my head, and I won't be able to sleep until it's written down. I really, really hope this doesn't take all night, because I have FOUR tests tomorrow and a quiz! UGH! But you know how you, wonderful person, can make it better? REVIEW! Because I love reviews. They're my favorite. Please?

Set during Season 3: Merlin skips town, leaving Arthur a note. Pretty self explanatory, no?

Dear Arthur,

Guess what? I'm a warlock! Yeah, that's right. My eyes flash gold AND EVERYTHING! I know what you're thinking right now, something about 'I, the great thick Prince of Camelot, must tell my father about this!'. Yeah, well, you can't. I'm gone. So TAKE THAT.

And before you think about assembling all of your knights to look high and low for me, there are two things that you should consider:

Camelot really needs all the knights it can get. Do you have any idea how many people have escaped your dungeons? I mean, seriously? You suck as a knight trainer.

I've saved your life so many times! I'd list them all, but I'd prefer not to kill every tree in Albion! I'm a tree hugger, you know that.

But I will state some examples on how I've saved your life. Remember that time you got bit by the Questing Beast and then got better? That's because I sacrificed my life for you. Don't know what I was thinking, really. Obviously it didn't go down to plan, because I'm still here. Well, not here, here. Because I ditched Camelot. But I'm still alive. Don't think it was easy, though! My mother almost died! And then Gaius! But have no fear; I used my amazing magical powers to fix everything! You're welcome.

Let's see, what else? That time you thought that oaf Cendric was the one that saved your life? That was me. WITH MAGIC, thank you very much. But did I get the credit? No! You let some buffoon lick your boots, and almost let Camelot be destroyed! I took him down in the end, no worries. But did I get a thank you? Of course not!

Also, that time you 'killed' the dragon? PUH-LEASE. That was me! Do you honestly think that your sword could do anything to a DRAGON! No! You got knocked out, you dollop-head! And what did I have to do? Save the day with my mystical dragon-lord powers! That's right, I'm a warlock AND a dragon-lord. Double wammie! And what are you? A prince! Just a prince. Loser.

I've saved your life countless other times too. And your girlfriend's. But I don't regret that. She's a good friend, unlike YOU. Friends don't make friends muck out their stables 24/7!

Oh and you killed my girlfriend. Thanks a lot, buddy.

You're probably wondering why I saved your life a bunch of times. This is going to sound really stupid, but…the dragon told me. Yeah, the same one that tried to destroy Camelot. I honestly think that guy's bipolar. But that's besides the point.

The point is that you and I had a destiny together! And I know what you're thinking again- GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER. That's disgusting. Although I am good looking. Once again, getting off topic.

My destiny was to help you fulfill your destiny- become a great king and unite all of Albion. Well, I tried for four very long years. But making me muck out the stables in that blizzard yesterday was the last straw!

Camelot can fall, burn, and die for all I care! No amount of peace is worth putting up with you! You're a spoilt arrogant brat with the brains of a donkey and the face of a TOAD. That line sound familiar? Dragoon the Great was ME. As stated before, that was to save your girlfriend!

But because you tried to save me from that poisoned chalice that one time (see that word tried? That's because I helped you. That magical glowing orb was me helping you!) I'll give you a warning. Morgana, she's your sister. AND SHE'S EVIL! I don't know how many times she's plotted to take over Camelot and failed! I think stupidity runs in Pendragon blood.

As you can see by the examples listed above, MAGIC IS GOOD if used in the correct way. Your sister has magic (but she's not as powerful as me; I'm just awesome like that), but she uses it for evil! I, however, used it correctly. And I always shall! Just not for you.

Anyway, I'm long gone by now. I'm considering going to Cendrid's Kingdom. Maybe his son won't be such a clotpole!

With Ever-lasting Annoyance,

Merlin

PS: You should've said thank you. Then I wouldn't be gone.

PSS: You're a fat pratt. Lay of the carbs.