C A N C E R

By Cameo, BETA'd by Julia

I lay in bed, in repose, waiting for him to come home. The night was still young, the sky dressed in a gown of black and purple and adorned with millions of glittering diamonds. The earth tried to rival the sky's appearance, covered in a sheet of white that sparkled and shined in the brilliant light of the moon like a thousand gems. We lived in the woods, separated from the many people of the city, and it was quiet save for the hoot of the barn owl, the howl of the white wolf. The wind whispered through the skeletons of resting trees. Their skeletal fingers reached toward the sky as if it had been their last wish to touch Heaven.

Moonlight filtered through the windowpanes, giving our room a silvery glow. I was curled up under the covers, on his side of the bed, breathing in his scent. I didn't know when he was due home, but it didn't matter. I would wait forever for him. I liked to think that even after death, I would wait for him, so we could enter Paradise together. It sounded silly, so I kept these thoughts to myself. I don't believe he was Christian anyway. He was too involved in violence to believe in a higher power. I think he feared defying a deity by slaughter his creations, and so he refused to have faith. But it was okay. I prayed for him and hoped his sins would be pardoned. He's a good man, I promised, He has a good heart. He just is afraid. He didn't know of this either. I think he might be secretly flattered, but upset.

I heard the door open softly. Boots crunched through snow and tapped their toes on the toe board outside. A gust of frigid air swept through the house, and I shivered and drew the bed sheets tighter around me. The door closed, his boots were removed. I heard him hang his jacket near the wood stove. Then he padded down the hall and toward our room. Carefully, he opened the door, and eased himself in. He glanced over at me, and when I acknowledged him, he sighed with relief.

"Hello, Francis," he murmured, sitting on the edge of the bed. I smiled.

"Hello to you too," I said softly, "It seems that they keep you later and later as the temperature drops outside."

"It seems so," he said, laughing good-naturedly.

"Why don't you undress and join me?" I offered, "You seem cold." He shook his head and got up. The bedsprings creaked. Slowly, he peeled away his standard black tank top and slipped away his heavy uniform pants. What was left was a body of gold; long expanses of hardened, tanned muscle. Of course he was still covered. He wore underclothes. Yet I felt as self-conscious as if he were nude. He was so beautiful. A perfect individual, with hair of spun gold and a body fit for a god. He turned to me, and I watched his muscles flex as he crawled under the sheets with me. His skin was still so cold. I moved close to him, offering myself as an additional blanket to warm him. He smiled and very gently enveloped me in his arms, holding a glass figurine. I rested my head on his chest, over his heart. I could hear its slow, relaxed pulse, a beat on a traditional drum.

"I was waiting all night to come home and see you," he said quietly, stroking my hair. I smiled gently.

"I was waiting, too," I replied.

"I'm glad. But you shouldn't strain yourself."

"I hasn't been bothering me lately, Ludwig."

"I don't want it to rear up and hurt you," he said protectively. I smiled at his defensiveness.

"I'm fine. I still have two years, non?" I looked up, and his sapphire eyes had hardened with concern.

"That's a best case scenario, Francis. They didn't assure that," he said cruelly. I felt shock overcome my body.

"Don't get so upset, please. It's not hurting me anymore, I promise. Just… don't be upset with me, Ludwig. I just wanted to stay up and wait for you." I felt his pulse slow again.

"I… I'm sorry," he said, and his hand moved to rub my back, "I just… I'm so afraid for that day."

"We can make the most of what time we have," I whispered, "Then it won't hurt so bad."

"Losing you will hurt no matter what you do," he said, his voice losing its strength. I felt tears begin to form, but I refused to let them show.

"It'll be okay," I soothed, "Don't worry about the future now. Let's just enjoy what we have until then." His chest convulsed slightly and I heard him gasp, and I smiled lovingly. I sat quietly and let him hold me while he cried.

~Ludwig Flashback~

"Hey, you," he said. I turned. Then sighed. It was that obnoxious blonde. What was his name again…?

"Don't pretend like you don't see me, monsieur!" he called out. I scowled.

"What do you want?" I asked harshly. He smiled.

"So you can talk. You were so silent at the convention, I thought you were mute." He hurried over, looking genial.

"I'm Francis. I represent France. You must be Ludwig of Germany?" I nodded.

"Yes. My country just joined the convention after… our mistake of a few years ago." He nodded.

"It's nice that you realized them and joined us," he said simply. This was idle chat, and I just wanted to return to my hotel room and relax. It was hot today, and my uniform was clinging to my skin unpleasantly.

"I can tell you want to leave," he chuckled, "But tonight, why don't you have a drink with me? I'd love to get to know you more. You know, for a future alliance. Just in case another World War breaks out." He laughed as if it were impossible. I nodded stiffly.

"That sounds pleasant," I lied. He smirked; it was a twisted little smile, and it fit his almost puckish features. His eyes flashed.

"Excellent. Why don't we meet here again… oh, let's say seven or so, and I'll bring you to a good place I know. You don't seem like a wine person, but they have other spirits as well." I nodded again.

"Alright then. I need to go… 'settle' something with a certain monkey now," he said, chuckling, "I'm afraid I've chatted far too long. I'll see you tonight then." He bid me farewell and hurried off. His blonde waves bounced and his blue eyes twinkled, yet I didn't know how much I would come to love the way he darted away and laughed like a child. I couldn't imagine how much I would come to love the other country, how much I would cherish his presence, and how badly it would hurt when the doctor's told me that he was going to die.

He took me by my hands and leaned in for a chaste kiss at the front of the building, but both of us knew it was a lie. It was only corrected when we got to his room in the conference building. Lips met roughly, hands raced over clothed limbs, fingers fought with buttons and zippers. I could taste something exclusively French while my tongue roved through his mouth. Lust clouded my thoughts as I peeled away his silken shirt. He dressed so extravagantly, but the real beauty lay under his layers of expensive clothes. His pale skin, like cream and honey, glowed in the filtered light of the sun through the shades.

"I want to see what you wear under your uniform," he growled, opening my jacket and dropping it on the floor heavily. His hands slid over my shoulders.

"You're so strong," he murmured, "Macho."

"Someone has to be," I said softly, leaning in for a brief kiss. He was fighting with my shirt, unable to get it open, so I stilled his hands.

"Here." I grabbed the collar and pulled. There was a great sound, and the fabric parted as if without any effort. He looked surprised as I pushed it from my body. I just laughed and leaned in again. Slowly, I guided him to the bed, easing him onto his back and bringing my legs over his. I straddled his hips and attacked his jaw and throat with frenzied kisses. He tilted his head back, mewling as I nipped at his skin. He smelled like the strongest whiskey. I tasted his intoxicating skin with a hunger reminiscent of a starved beast getting its first meal in days. I peppered his skin in small red bites.

"Ah-h! L-Ludwig, d-don't tease!" he whimpered. We were both so young, still barely adults. I fumbled with the buttons of his pants and the zipper, before removing them gracelessly. He pulled me down for a rough kiss, and I fought with my pants as his tongue played in my mouth. I couldn't get rid of them entirely until he let me pull away, but he was reluctant to free my lips. He was so intoxicating. I struggled to get my pants off as quickly as I could, so I could taste him again. I had never done this before, not with a man. I guess he hadn't either; because when we broke, he seemed as nervous as me. But he trusted me, and I tried as gently as I could to stretch him. The only lubricant we had was saliva (for who could have foretold of our secret rendezvous that day?), and I was afraid of hurting him. Care made the beginning slow, but it was in each other's grasp. And when I was finally able to penetrate him, it was a great relief and a new milestone in our relationship. I waited for him to become comfortable, kissing his jaw, his throat, anything to alleviate his pain. Then we began the forbidden dance. He was so beautiful that day, his blonde curls sticking to his forehead with sweat, his eyes slightly closed and his lips parted to liberate mewls and moans and pleas. Sweat clung to our bodies like a glaze. His back arched elegantly, his brilliant eyes closed, and a loud cry broke through his lips as he reached his finale. He was beautiful, and I soon found myself climaxing, though no doubt less beautifully as he. After a brief period of rest, I got up and found the small bathroom in his room. I washed myself off and found a bucket and cloth to clean him with. Then I returned to our bed. My angel, my Francis, my lover was laying on the bed wearily, his arms reached above his head, his fingers curled gently. His golden waves fell about his head like a halo. Slowly, he opened his eyes, dazzling like the ocean and smiled gently. Carefully, I washed away the evidence of our clandestine act. He was so patient as I fumbled with the cloth, chuckling when I dropped it into the bucket and swore. And when I finished mopping up our mess, I returned the pail to the bathroom. Wearily, I let myself drop to the bed with him, and he crawled over and rested his head on my chest. I had entered paradise, I had thought, putting my arms around him and holding him. I had found an angel that loved me, and for him, I had a love greater than anything I had felt before. I brushed his hair from his cheek tenderly and he looked up and smiled at me, a smile so radiant and lovely, it was a beacon in a bleak world. I told him I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, and he was happy.

"I want to spend the rest of forever with you," he said, "I never want to leave you. I love you, Ludwig." I smiled and stroked his hair gently.

"I love you too."

~End Flashback~

I drew my cap low over my eyes as I stood at his grave. It had begun to rain, and the heavy drops pounded at the soil cruelly. The sky was dark and gray, and a cold wind cut the sky like a knife. The leaves on the trees were curled up to protect themselves from the punishing sky-water, but the grass took its lashing accordingly. After all, the wildflowers in the fields to the east and west needed their water, to keep the cemetery lovely for its patrons.

I read the name on the stone. Francis Bonnefoy, 1900-2010. He had passed away a week ago. The doctors had been wrong. Or was it because their estimate was a lucky circumstance? Lucky if it occurred, but don't get your hopes up. It didn't matter anymore. He was gone.

I knelt before the cold marble stone, before the bouquet of white chrysanthemums laid so carefully across the front of his resting place. He was in a better place. He had believed in God, and he had believed in Heaven. He would be happy there. Maybe he would wait for me there. I smiled.

"Hello, Francis," I said softly, "It hasn't been that long since I saw you, but I wanted to tell you I miss you." The wind howled against the strong branches on the trees.

"I wanted to make sure you got to Heaven," I continued, "So I had a preacher come for you. I know that's what you wanted. I just hope you're happy." The rain picked up, falling heavily. I took off my cap and smiled sadly.

"I'm going to stay here a bit longer," I told him, "I'm not ready to go yet. But when I go, I'm going to go find you. So we can be together again. It'll be a fairytale ending, won't it now." And I laughed, but it was cut short by a bout of tears. I wiped my eyes.

"I promise to come here, every day," I choked out. The tears began to pour down my cheeks, mixing with the rain. "I won't forget you. I'll bring flowers and everything you wanted." I took a shaky breath.

"You're birthday's coming up soon, I know. I want to come here and celebrate with you. I'll make a cake and everything. I'll try, even though we both know you had the talent for cooking." I was shuddering now, my body quaking with every gasping breath.

"I j-just wanted you to know… t-that I still love you…"

We hope that you guys liked it! So tragic, ne? :'( Ah, so, yet again this was written by Cameo and edited by me, Julia (I swear I'll finish my story...soon...)

Reviews make us smile :)

-C&J