author's notes: helllooo :) This is rated T for several reasons: very, very mild language, mild sensuality (seriously. MILD. not even sensual, but still too much for a five year old), underage drinking, and stuff.
title: Operation Get Back. Alternative names at bottom author's note (because I find the list of names I went through quite amusing) for your entertainment.
tag: "You make my other eye sparkle. Also, you smell like fruit and cheese."
note: takes place after the Tween Choice Awards episode. Did anyone else's heart break when they broke up? I was a puddle on the floor O.o

disclaimer: let's see. I don't own a lot of stuff. I don't own Sonny with a Chance, or the song "Get Back" by Demi Lovato, or anything else, really.

enjoy :)

"Channy may not have a spark, but Sonny and Chad always will."- Sonny Monroe

.

There's something about Sonny's smile that has Chad's heart flying like he's some sort of eagle-bird thing. An eagle-bird thing, because he's heard that eagles aren't exactly sophisticated in their eating habits, but they seem pretty awesome at other times. So he's like this hybrid between an eagle and a bird that eats nicely.

He doesn't really have the energy to research a specific type of bird. He says it's because he's focused his entire being on making his girlfriend smile as bright as the sun. He also says that the reason he always misspells "sun" (spells it "Son", but there's always two little spaces at the very end, like two letters are missing) is that he's dyslexic.

Right. Chad Dylan Cooper, teen heartthrob whose entire life has been in the spotlight ever since he was 2, suddenly suffering from dyslexia. As he's reminded the paparazzi countless times before, he's too dazzling to have any secrets, much less sudden disorders.

Just before he made the startling announcement that he had dyslexia, a brunette known for her wide smile had begun a fund for children and teens suffering from dyslexia and other learning disorders.

To get back to the point: there's really only one girl in Hollywood (and possibly, as he'd claimed long before, the only girl in the universe) who smiles as bright as the sun, and that's Sonny Monroe.

It's too bad she's not his girlfriend.

.

Sonny is pretty smart, and as an unusually accomplished girl for her age, she has dabbled in a bit of psychology. (Note: "dabble" means to skim a random article by a random psychologist that is on her kitchen table for the purpose of making the Monroe family seem highly intellectual). One of the two things she's learned is that there are these theories called "effects", like the placebo effect, which describe a psychological habit common to most people. Something like that, anyway.

Basically, as she'd swallowed her last bite of cereal, she'd come to the conclusion that there must be some sort of effect that has to do with innocent, naïve girls who arrive in Hollywood with big dreams, big smiles, big hearts… well, you get the idea. Her theory is that everyone who arrives at Hollywood, no matter how independent, eventually becomes tainted by the status quo- supportive views of society.

Simplified further, she firmly believes that everyone in Hollywood tries to please everyone in Hollywood.

She thinks she caught this from Chad Dylan Cooper ("effect" is now synonymous with "contagious disease" all of a sudden). In fact, she thinks the effect originated from the outrageous, handsome (outrageously handsome, handsomely outrageous) teen superstar.

She'd always thought of Chad Dylan Cooper to be someone who played by his own rules, whether they were right or wrong. Then she met him.

Oh.

He cared outrageously about what other people thought of him.

She later found out that he cared even more outrageously for her. Except, you know, that was before the Incident.

Holy cheese. She'd loved him a lot. She loves him still.

Too bad she's not his girlfriend.

.

The Incident, as she dubs it, happened before their 6 month anniversary. Yeah, she kept count. He'd kept count too, but he pretends he didn't. He's an actor; he pretends a lot. For example, he pretends that the event that she calls the Incident never happened.

He adored her- worshipped the ground she walked on. He once kissed her feet actually, and then up her ankle, behind her knee, to-

Well. We don't need to know that, now do we?

.

Chad kisses his spray tanned girlfriend, ignoring the blinding flashes of the paparazzi with a practiced, bored air. He used to mind it back when he was with Sonny because the flashes blinded him so much he couldn't even see her face. Now, he doesn't mind it so much.

Pulling back, she smiles with satisfaction. Partly posing for the cameras, partly attempting to seduce him on the red carpet for all the world to see… so, yeah, she's posing for the cameras… she lets her dress dip a little lower down her chest and hike up her legs a bit more.

"How do I look?" she asks in what is clearly meant to be a sultry tone, but it doesn't have any effect on Chad at all.

He's an actor. He pretends a lot. His go to expression for situations like these is the patented, you-got-nothin-on-CDC smirk. He smirks away, feeling ridiculous, but pretending he doesn't. (He's an actor. He pretends a lot.)

"You look…"

Orange. Incredibly orange. Her dress is a loud, bright orange, and it blends perfectly with her spray-tanned orange skin. She looks naked, but not in a good way. No, Chad is not turned on by this spectacle at all.

Never has been, by the way. Not that anyone else has noticed.

Over her head, he catches a flash of silky, wavy brown hair rippling under the bright lights. Sonny Monroe. She's the only one he's ever known to look naturally beautiful under the harsh glares of the cameras. She's also on the arm of some guy he's sure he last saw wearing vampire fangs.

Jackson something. The last time he heard that guy's name, Sonny was groaning about how Jackson was supposed to guest star on SoRandom! but he was replaced by such a disappointment. The CDC, a disappointment? No way. Impossible. He never let her forget it once they started dating.

"Chad? What's so funny?" asks the orange in front of him, frowning at the slight smile on his face.

"Hm?" he murmurs distractedly, staring at Sonny clad in a simple white, backless tunic style dress.

Good grief.

He can die now; die an unhappy, sad, pathetic-

"Chad? How do I look?" asks his girlfriend- what was her name? Jasmine? Yasmine? Sonny?

"Look? You look… good enough to eat." He groans at himself. That's something Sonny would say, with an entirely innocent air, of course.

However, Jasmine/Yasmine/replacement-for-Sonny smiles at him demurely, satisfied with his reply. If only Sonny had been that easy.

"Roar," the orange purrs.

He can die now.

.

"So, Sonny. You've been single for a little while, now-"

"No. It's been a long time, actually. I'm over him," the brunette tells the talk show host tightly.

"Well," he laughs awkwardly, "it's only been-"

"A very long while. I've moved on faster than you all have, apparently." She forces a laugh at the end, and the audience laughs along, albeit halfheartedly.

"Ehehe… yeah. Well… we haven't gotten all the details, so-"

"There's no need to dig up dirt on past relationships is there?" she asks too innocently. It's dead silent.

"Um?" the host flusters.

"No, there isn't," she answers for him less than a second later. "Or is there? 'Cause if there is, then I should probably tell you about Billy. And Ian. And Jacob and Edward from Twilight. And I've had a crush on ZAC EFRON for as long as I can remember. I might be able to remember more details about my personal life if you want me to."

The host swallows audibly.

"S-Sonny Monroe, everyone."

And she smiles, because Sonny Monroe is supposed to be sunny.

.

Well, Chad Dylan Cooper is the self-proclaimed lord of coolness, but he's not living up to that title at all.

No, after seeing her little speech, he's shaking with anger and fury and envy and possessiveness and all of the negative emotions that his girlfriend, the most beautiful orange in the world, would like him to feel for her.

So she pretends that he does feel for her that way. She pretends, just like Sonny pretends to be sunny, and like Chad pretends to be cool.

This whole story is full of pretenders. You want some truth?

Don't ask them for it.

.

So, they're at a celebrity-rave-thing, and he's with his girlfriend, whose name is apparently Tanya.

Oops.

Yeah, and she's pretty mad at him for forgetting her name again, so it's just a generally terrible party. And of course Sonny decides to walk in wearing yet another backless dress, only this one ends above her knees and hugs her little figure snugly.

He'd like to hug her snugly. He'd like it a lot.

So, he turns back to face his girlfriend, who he's just noticed has been grinding against him the whole time, and he says, "Hey, Tanya. Let's split."

"Uh?" she gasps distractedly, panting from what is looking more like a workout than dancing. Then again, he isn't exactly grinding back into her.

He firmly detaches her body from his like she's a tumor and he's some sort of doctor- which he has played before in a certain sketch with a certain brunette- and speaks clearly into her face.

"Yo. Tanya. You and me? Not working. CDC out."

And out he goes, as cool as the day he first stepped into Hollywood.

Except she sort of drags him back to her and curses so creatively the DJ turns down the music so he can hear. And when he's trying to make yet another cool escape, she grabs one of her heels and throws it at him. Well, she tries. He dodges it, but in a super unattractive way that he figures will be frozen in time for everyone to gawk at, judging by the audible glee of a paparazzi in disguise. It is for this very important reason that he is now sulking in a corner while the party resumes full blast.

Sonny walks up to him. "Chad."

"No, I'm fine," he blurts, "it's not like I miss you or anything. I don't miss you at all. Life has been free and liberating and awesome. Yeah, don't ask me to take you back. Please don't. And please don't call me on my cell. You should probably delete my number from your phone. No, no, don't worry about me, I'm terrific, and I'm awesome, and I'm freaking CDC, as cool as always. And-"

"Great," she says tightly. "Wonderful. I was just wondering if you could please stop perving in front of the girls' bathroom and let me in."

"Let you in? In my heart? Why-"

"What are you even talking about? You okay? OHMIGAWD," her eyes suddenly go huge and round with horror, and he wonders if maybe it's hero time. She leans closer to him. She smells like fruit and cheese, which sounds odd, but it fits her and makes him want her back in his arms. So he can smell her hair, okay? … Yeah, that doesn't sound convincing to him either.

"You didn't," she looks around before whispering, "drink, did you?"

"Um, yeah? That's kinda what you do at these things, Sonny," he educates her. She pulls back in shock.

"Ohmygosh! You're drunk, aren't you!"

"No, Sonny, I'm no-"

"Shh! You're in denial. OK. I can handle this. I'll just have to take you to your house- oh, but I'm with Jackson." She ponders this for a while, her face scrunching up cutely.

Stupid cute. Very stupid, very, very, stupid, very stupid, very, very cut- ugh.

"OK, hold on a second," she says abruptly. "Jackson! Jackson! Jackson!" she yells into the crowd. The partiers ogle her, but she remains oblivious, her eyes fixed only on her date's. She looks around for a second, then pulls a blonde from the crowd. "Do me a favor?" she asks sweetly. "Kiss him for me?" The blonde's eyes round and she nods vigorously, tripping and stepping on Jackson's foot as she appears to launch her mouth like it's a rocket to his face.

"I can't believe it, Jackson, you're cheating on me. We're over. Kbye," Sonny mutters before flouncing back to her now slackjawed ex boyfriend. "Come on, Chad," she says cheerily. "My mom made this Hangover-Away Concoction out of cheese from home." She smiles hugely. "She'll be so happy to see you test it out for her!"

He stares at her, eyes wide in alarm. "No, Sonny, wai-"

"Bye, guys," she says cheerily to the gawking partygoers. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees a camera flash, presumably the same camera that took the picture of him dodging Jasmine/Yasmin/Tanya/Whatever's heels.

He can die now.

.

The covers of the tabloids the next morning all look the same.

"Channy: Back Together?"

"Brokenhearted Tanya Reveals All: The Reasons Behind Their Breakup, The Cheating Behind Her Back, The Lonely Nights"

"Jackson Black Publicly Dumped- Does This Mean the Vampire Charm Doesn't Last Off-Screen?"

"Aliens Foretold Reunion of Channy"

"Why are you reading this trash?" Sonny cries out in frustration to her castmates.

"How could you go back to Chip Drama Pants?" Grady exclaims, outraged.

"Sonny, do you realize what this makes you? You're the other woman," Tawni says seriously. "You know what this makes me? The other woman's best friend. I don't think I can handle this sort of publicity! I have a reputation to uphold, and you, Sonny, are ruining it!"

"But-" Sonny tries.

"Uh uh! I don't want to hear it!" Tawni huffs.

"Haha! I knew you didn't have to be a vampire to get chicks!" Nico crows suddenly. At the disapproving looks he gets from everyone else, he snaps to attention, pulling on a stern look as easily as he pulls on a chicken suit. "But that's still not an excuse for going back to Chip Drama Pants," he says in disgust. "Good?" he asks Zora for approval. She sighs.

"We're all ignoring the big picture here. Aliens foretold this," Zora emphasizes.

"Um…" says Sonny.

"Look," continues Zora, stepping in front of Sonny like she doesn't exist, "if the aliens have foretold it, then there's nothing doing," she says matter-of-factly. "It's fate."

"Hey, Zora, I think I should-" Sonny tries once more.

"No, Sonny," Grady is the one to cut her off this time. He holds up a hand in her face dramatically. "No."

"He's right, Sonny, and maybe for the first time," Zora nods. "No. You do not have a say in this. If you aren't with Chad, then the universe as we know it will topple apart, causing the planet Jupiter to crash into Earth in a giant explosion to rival that of the greatest supernova. The explosion along with the toppling of the universe will cause a giant black hole that will swallow everything into it until there is nothing left but time- time in its cold, merciless, ongoing ticking of the clock. Tick. Tick. Tick."

There is shocked, slightly baffled silence in the prop room until Grady finally breaks it.

"That was the most profound… thing… I've ever heard," he chokes out. His eyes, huge, emotional baby blues, are fixed on Zora like she's the maker of cheese pants.

"No, it wasn't," Sonny counters in disbelief.

"I have no idea what that was," Tawni agrees with her friend, albeit reluctantly, "but that wasn't 'profound'."

"Whatever. You guys just don't appreciate pure genius," Zora brushes them off airily. At the incredulous looks on her castmates' faces, she submits. "OK, but you have to appreciate it. That was a marvelous piece of BS."

"Zora!" Sonny cries in outrage. "Inappropriate language!"

Zora shrugs. "What can I say. I've decided it's time to grow up and experience what its like to be a normal teenager. You know," she clarifies, "experimenting with cursing and stuff."

"…Please tell me 'and stuff' doesn't include drugs or anything else illegal," Sonny says shakily.

"No," Zora scoffs. "I'm a teenager, not stupid. I won't do drugs, I promise."

"How about the illegal stuff?" Nico asks keenly.

"Ah, well," Zora waves it off grandly, "that's a little vague, don't you think? I mean, a lot of things are illegal. Downloading songs illegally, smuggling cats over the border… overthrowing the government… you know?"

She's met by scared expressions on everyone's faces.

"Kidding!" she exclaims, throwing her hands up in the air. They all sigh in relief. "Or am I?" she adds. They glare at her. "Ugh. My genius is completely taken for granted among you fools. Anyway. Back to the point: Sonny, are you or are you not with Chad?" Her voice is urgent, and her eyes bore into Sonny's with all the intimidation she can muster.

Which, for a 13 year old, is a lot.

"N-no," Sonny stammers.

"What?" Zora demands in a dangerous tone.

"No, we're not together!" Sonny wails. Nico and Tawni sigh in relief, but Grady and Zora fix Sonny with disapproving stares.

"Sonny," they say in unison, "do you want the universe to fall apart?"

She sighs.

.

At about 1 in the afternoon on a bright Wednesday, Chad is in the middle of his usual beauty rest. Unfortunately, a sharp rapping on his dressing room door jolts him out of his sleep.

"Come in, come in," he says blearily, his eyes half open. He runs a hand through his hair and flops back into his bed.

"Chad, we need to talk," says Sonny. She takes in his appearance. "You're sleeping?"

"Yes," he says like it's obvious. "This is my nappy time." At the incredulous look on her face he quickly realizes what he just said. Crap.

"Um, I mean, that this is my beauty rest ti- oh forget it. Sonny, replay."

"…Excuse me?"

"Replay," he repeats slowly. "You know, redo this entire scene-"

"Scene?" she repeats incredulously.

"-so that this piece of time never exists, okay?" he continues as if she'd never interrupted. "So, why don't you just go on out the door…" He turns her around and nudges her to his door- "and knock again, and we'll replay this entire thing."

"Is this a play to you?" she asks, dumbfounded.

"Shakespeare was my hero," he says grandly, pausing in his attempts to push her out. He clasps a hand to his heart. "All the world's a set, Chad Dylan Cooper's the main character, and everyone else is a sidekick. Or minor character. Depends on whether you see me more as a superhero or a super actor." He smiles at her winningly.

"That's not Shakespeare. That's mutilated Shakespeare. Oh my gosh, you've killed Shakespeare."

"Really? Because it looks more to me like I just owned him." She glares at him so fiercely he swears he's been burnt to a crisp.

Including his clothes.

Just kidding, he tells himself hastily. No need to drive his brain into the gutter at this particular moment.

"No one can own Shakespeare, Chad Dylan Cooper, you freaking idiot. He's a genius."

"So am I," he tells her loftily.

"As if."

He gasps, clutching his chest in mock horror.

"You're an idiot," she says in irritation.

He spins around, flailing wildly before flopping dramatically down to the ground. She stomps her foot in irritation, and he hides a grin.

"You're also the absolute worst actor of our generation. In fact, if you were a girl, you'd be the worst actress of any generation. And the ugliest," she adds as an afterthought.

He springs up from the ground, completely alive.

"I don't think so," he growls at her. She quirks an eyebrow.

"Oooh, look at me, I'm macho growly man." She walks around the room hunched over, imitating his growl and scratching at her sides like an ape. An attractive ape, but a primate, nonetheless. "I am so cool and amazing and handsome that no one else deserves to see my very face!" she continues. "Oh, the horror of all these peasants being allowed to feast their disgusting, ugly, poor eyes on my beauty!" At this, she dramatically covers her face with her hands and executes a perfectly swooping faint.

"I do not faint!"

"You don't know how to faint," she retorts, just because she can.

"I do too know how to faint!"

"How can you if you don't faint?" she asks him wryly.

"Because… I do faint?" he cocks his head to the side, analyzing the hole he's dug for himself before shrugging.

"You win this round, Sonny Monroe," he says, effortlessly pulling her up from the floor with one arm. She takes a forbidden moment to revel in the strength, the incredible grace that his muscles, hidden under the sleeves of his dark blue dress shirt, exhibit, the gentleness with which he holds her in his arms-

He ruins the moment.

"You like my guns, huh?" he asks, looking down at her with a smirk on his face. She curses his shirt for bringing out his eyes so… so dramatically. So much like Chad. "No worries," he continues, "lots of ladies fall over them. Go on, kiss them."

She smacks him instead. "Now, I remember why I broke up with you," she mutters.

"Was there a time when you forgot?" he asks keenly, peering at her through his fingers while shielding his face from another blow. He doesn't expect the response she gives him. She stares at him with surprised, wide, almost guilty eyes before running away.

Interesting.

It's so hero time.

.

"What are you doing here, Chad?" she asks tiredly, leaning against the doorway of the apartment she shares with her mom. He peeks at her from behind a few flowers.

"Date?"

"No."

"...I'm sorry, was that a yes?" he tries again.

"No." She starts to close the door, but he sticks a foot in.

"They say that the aliens foretold us reuniting."

"So I've been told," she replies with a yawn. "I say that the aliens were inspired by the latest episode of Mackenzie Falls, where Mackenzie's evil stepbrother is told by an alien who is really Mackenzie in disguise that he's meant to be with Penelope." At the stricken look on his face, she finally cracks a smile. "You thought I wouldn't recognize it?"

"Well," he says, scuffing his foot on the welcome mat, "I didn't think you still watched it. I thought you hated me too much."

She stares at him for a moment before dropping her eyes to his left hand.

"What's that?" she asks interestedly.

"The entire season three of SoRandom!" he tells her sheepishly. "I was hoping we could watch it together." At the blank look on her face, he hastily adds, "See, I was planning for this entire scene-" she snorts- "to go much differently. Like this."

-:-Chad Dylan Cooper's Plan for Operation Get Back, Plan A:

[Enter Sonny Monroe, wearing a bedazzling red dress, preferably from the Condor Studios Prom, moping in the living room waiting for her prince Chad. Charming. Chadming. Prince Chadming of Awesomeness knocks on door.]

"Oh, Chad Dylan Cooper, you look so handsome today! I wish I'd never broken up with you when you called for a recount of the votes for the Tween Choice Awards. I know it was hard for you and that you were still only learning to be a better person. Oh, but don't you have an amazing life without me now? What are you doing on my doorstep?" Sonny asks.

"Oh, Sonny. Funny, funny little Sonny." Chad smoothly grasps her chin in his hands and stares into her eyes as she gets lost in his own. "Don't you know that I feel so sorry for what I did? Don't you know that my life is terrible without you? Don't you know that I'm nothing without you? All I want is you," he tells her in a deep voice. "I'm here to ask you, Sonny Monroe, a question."

"What question, Chad Dylan Cooper? What question?" Sonny asks, on the verge of fainting in his arms.

"Will you go on a date with me tonight?"

"Oh, Chad Dylan Cooper!"

"No, Sonny. You can call me…" Chad looks off into the distance heroically, "Chad."

"Oh, Chad!" Sonny clings to him, then yanks him into the apartment by his tie. They kiss scorchingly-

"CHAD!"

"Whaaat? I was just getting into the good part. Anyway, so we were supposed to kiss like our lives depended on it-"

"Stop! Stop stop stop!" she squeals. He grins at her.

"Yes?"

"That was terrible!"

His grinning face immediately becomes hurt. His shoulders slump. "…Oh. Sorry for wasting your time then," he mumbles.

She watches him turn away with a stricken look on her face. "I- Chad!"

"Oh, do you want this?" He holds up the DVD in his hand, still turned away.

"Wha-? No." She gently prods him in the side until he reluctantly turns to face her. She lifts up his chin before smiling devilishly at him. "All I want is you," she tells him in a deep, faux French accent, a mischievous grin on her face. He looks at her in outrage.

"You stole my line! I didn't think you were capable of it, Sonny Monroe, but you stole my- what?"

"Is this the part where I drag you in by your tie?" she asks, pretending to ponder it. His eyes widen to the size of plates. Forget saucers. "Oh, hey," she says. "It turns out both of your eyes are sparkly after all."

"I- Well," he starts hoarsely, "technically, I'm supposed to ask you a question, and you're supposed to be on the edge of fainting but… we can skip to this part." He grabs her hands and puts them on his tie eagerly. She yanks him into the apartment with a huge smile on her face and he stumbles in, and then her mom walks in.

Awkward.

"So… I'll be seeing more of you around then?" Mrs. Monroe asks with a small smile on her face at the obvious discomfort of her daughter and the boy who was once known as her ex boyfriend.

"Uh…" Sonny replies. Chad recovers first.

"I sure hope so," he says, fixing a penetrating, pleading, totally adorable puppy dog stare into her eyes.

Through the pounding of her ears, she can dimly hear her mother telling her to fight the power and stick it to the man and Chad saying, "Aw, Mrs. Monroe, I thought you liked me."

"So, do you have an answe- mmph."

She kisses him before he can finish.

"Whoa. OKAY, then," he says with a wide, heart stopping grin. Not that she'll ever tell him that. "If you like me that much, then-"

"Hey, I'm not the one who told a magazine that aliens foretold our reunion," she says, rolling her eyes. Her mother chokes on the popcorn she keeps around for the dramatic scenes that always tend to happen in their apartment.

"So aliens didn't foretell this?"

"…Mom," Sonny says with a sigh. "No."

"Aw, man," her mom complains. "I was so sure that aliens were going to beam down here and do some sort of otherworldly marriage ceremony."

Chad and Sonny stare at her with matching dumbfounded looks as she turns and walks away, muttering under her breath about being cheated.

"So… I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" she asks, turning back to face him.

"At eight?"

"Pick me up?"

"Yeah," he grins.

"Oh, by the way… why do you want me back?" she asks. He looks at her in horror.

"Did you not listen to Chad Dylan Cooper's Plan A for Operation Get Back?"

"Wha-? Of course I did!"

"Then, I am absolutely not going to repeat what I said. It's too embarrassing. I only say mushy stuff like that when I'm acting," he says with a sniff. She hides a grin.

"Pweez?" she tries.

"You have a terrible baby voice, by the way," he says, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I invented the baby voice."

He snorts. "Not likely. Anyway, so I'll pick you up at eight, right?" She crosses her arms and turns away.

"Not until you tell me exactly why you want me back." He groans before padding to her other side so that he faces her.

"You make my other eye sparkle. Also, you smell like fruit and cheese."

She stares at him blankly for a few horrible seconds during which he fears that she won't think it's funny. But then she laughs.

"Aw, Chad," she wheezes. "You're so romantic." He pops his collar.

"Pick you up at eight?" She stops laughing.

"Oh, for the love of- Yes, Chad. Pick me up at eight. If you ask me one more time, I'll change it to 8:01!"

"Alright, alright, already! I'm going, I'm going, I'm not going to mention me picking you up at ei-"

"Chad!"

"I'm gone!"

She grins at the door after he's gone, swinging her arms back and forth. Her mother walks in and guides her to the couch.

"Thought you told me you were gonna fight the power and stick it to the man?" her mom says teasingly.

"I couldn't resist the power of two sparkly eyes!" Sonny defends herself.

"Two sparkly eyes?" her mom squeals. "He makes the perfect Mackenzie. So emotional and sweet and yummy…" her mom says with a dreamy sigh. "What were you going to do if I didn't walk in on you two?" she asks interestedly, ignoring the sickened look on her daughter's face.

"…Mom."

.

"Wait." Grady turns to Zora, confusion clouding his eyes. "If aliens didn't foretell this, then… shouldn't we be trying to keep the two of them apart?"

"Nah," she says carelessly. "I was getting really annoyed with her moping around and pretending she didn't love him or something." Zora shudders. "Whenever she tried to smile, it looked really creepy."

"Wait. Hold on." Tawni pushes her way out of the broom closet across from Sonny's apartment first. She places her hands on her hips. "If you knew aliens didn't exist, then why are we even here?"

"To make sure Chad went along with everything I told him to, duh," Zora said matter-of-factly. "Do you really think he would tell a magazine that aliens foretold the reunion of Channy off the top of his head? No! I told him that Sonny adores aliens and gave him the idea for the whole thing." Nico pushes his way out next and stands next to Tawni.

"Why'd you drag us along then?" he asks suspiciously. Zora smirks.

"I wanted to torture you. Admit it. You wanted to die the second she yanked him into the apartment."

"Hate. You."

"Are you coming?" She shakes her head when they all scoot away from her. "When you need me, I'll be in my sarcophagus," she says, strutting out. "By the way?" she adds as she walks into the elevator alone. "Sonny's gonna walk out and find you in 3… 2…1…" The elevator doors close. Sonny walks out of her apartment, carrying a watering can while humming the tune to "Get Back", a popular pop song.

They turn around, guilty looks on their faces.

"Guys…" She doesn't even wait for an explanation before dumping cold water on them.

.

"You got the stuff?"

Chad looks furtively around the otherwise empty elevator before nodding at Zora.

"Hand it over, lover boy."

He hands her 200 bucks in cash plus a limited edition Garden Gnome. "Thanks for the tip on aliens," he whispers. "I really think it helped warm her up." Zora stifles a maniacal laugh. "But," he continues worriedly, "I did tell them that aliens foretold the reunion of Channy. The last time we were Channy, we broke up. Do you think it matters that I said 'Channy' instead of 'Sonny and Chad?'" he asks. She resists the urge to cackle.

"I'll look into it for another $100."

author's note: I had an illegal amount of fun writing this :D And now, the alternative names: back when this was only a baby story, I was gonna call it "Death to Channy." AFter reading it to my sister and saying I needed to change the name, she suggested "Birth of Sonny and Chad." Wow. Real creative there. The other two names I had were: "Two Sparkly Eyes" and "Fruit and Cheese." I really like the last one, but oh well :P

r e v i e w?