This is the epilogue, the end, the omega of my poetry. For the record, I think it SUCKS, but, you know, I'm dealing. I know how much you all want this, and thanks to the 7 or 8 people who reviewed in the 24 hours since I posted the last chapter. I love you all. :) Final thanks: Herz von Silber, who originally gave me the idea for this but has since disappeared; all my lovely fans who swore to hurt me if I didn't hurry up with this; my friend Celeste, who was supportive of me for this (by the way, her nickname is Tess... and she has a brother named Nate, LOL); and most of all Cassie Clare, for giving me Will and Jem (sorry, Tessa, I think I could care less about you compared to those two). Love you all!

Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah, C squared owns all. Except my poetry. ;)

The Day of Jem's Funeral, London, 1881

I took a deep, shuddering breath and closed my tear-filled eyes. It was so hard to look at that beautiful face, peaceful in death, that I had fallen in love with. It wasn't just his face I loved, but all of him, his sweet nature and good humor. If anyone deserved Heaven, it was the angel in front of me. People always say Heaven and the angels are all gold, but just one look at Jem in front of me and I know they're wrong. Heaven isn't gold. It's silver.

My mind was racing, thinking back to all those times we had spent together– our first kiss was only one of them, in his bed (which was so improper, not that I cared at the time) right after we found each other again. I shook my head sadly; I was barely nineteen, and Jem was but twenty, cut down in the prime of his life by that infernal poison. Was it really only two years ago that we first came together?

Two Years Ago, on Tessa's Seventeenth Birthday

Jem flashed in my mind, the night I turned seventeen. We were in his room, and things… got a bit out of hand. I hardly knew what was happening until I saw Jem's face hovering over me, his eyes bright with concern, his fine silver hair curling in damp silky strands around his face. His skin was soft, in sharp contrast to those hard coils of muscle. We were both covered in a light sheen of sweat.

"Are you sure, Tessa?" he asked me carefully. I wasn't sure, not completely, but I loved and trusted him, so I nodded. "Yes, Jem."

"I'll be careful," he promised, and we joined as one for the first time. It hurt, and I think I cried out, which of course had Jem worried about me. I assured him I was fine, but he refused to touch me for a week. "I'm a Shadowhunter," he explained. "I have runes to keep me strong. I need to be sure I'm not going to hurt you."

"The only way you're hurting me is by not touching me!" I insisted, and he relented. "I do love you, you know," he said softly, still worried.

"I love you, too, Jem," I agreed. That was the closest we ever came to fighting.

One Week Ago

"Tessa," Jem called. I had been heading to my room, but I suppose he heard my footsteps in the hallway and wanted to see me. I came to his side instantly– he was sick, and if he wanted to see me, I would comply. 'Tessa, I've tried to get around this, but I can't bring myself to lie to you, and I don't want to catch you unawares. I'm not going to get better," he confessed sadly. "I'm dying."

Ice flooded my veins. "No," I whispered, hating the way my voice shook and cracked. "No, you can't be. I can't lose you, Jem."

"Tessa," he breathed, and I could see that every word was hard for him to say. Already he was out of breath, and his beautiful eyes were white. "Would I lie to you?"

My lips trembled. "N- no," I said, and then started sobbing. I couldn't lose him, but it was too late. He was going to be gone, and there was nothing I could do about it. He took my hand in both his own when he spoke next.

"I'll suffer this crucifixion,

I'll flee the lion's den,

For if love is just a fairy tale,

Please read it once again."

I quieted down, letting the tears dry on my face. "That was… beautiful."

He smiled, continuing when he saw that his words had pleased me:

"I'll just close my eyes,

My heart, I know you'll keep,

If love is just a dream,

Then I'll go back to sleep."

I sat and could only stare in wonder. "You have the most beautiful way with words, James. How does one even learn such a thing?"

"You need inspiration, and I have you. What could work better than that?"

"You can take my life, you stole my heart,

You can even have my name.

Take everything I've ever had,

And I'll love you just the same.

I love you so, and I don't know

What I'll do when you're gone,

It'll hurt just to remember you,

But hurt more to move on.

I know I have forever,

But that's just many years

To think of you and wish

That I could dry these tears," I burst out on the spot. He looked taken aback, but didn't say anything, just pulled me into his arms and kept me there, I cried into his shirt, and I swore a felt more than a few tears dry in my hair; he was crying, too.

Now

Now I am alone. Those two memories burned strongest in my heart, in my mind: the day we gave ourselves fully to each other, and the day he warned me he was dying. One happy memory, one sad. There were dozens, hundred, thousands of other moments, however big or small, to fit the "gleeful" or "mournful" categories. All of them, though, were tinted with that sweet taste of love, the knowledge that, yes, there is another person who knows exactly who you are and doesn't even care. I knew the truth of his illness, but why should I care? He was still the same beautiful Jem that I had fallen in love with. He didn't think I was a monster or a freak, despite what even I believed. He just saw… me, the brown-haired, grey-eyed girl with a hot temper and a loving heart.

I think Will and I may grow closer, but not in that respect. I'm sure we remind each other of the silver angel we both loved, but he understands my pain like no other person ever could. I caught him crying earlier, but instead of trying to hide it, or deny it, he just let me hold him as we both sobbed.

I'm going to leave London, and travel with Magnus. He is willing to take me anywhere, to make new friends, see new places, and just try to forget the pain. I will never forget Jem, but I can hope I will not always remember this heartbreak.

He was my life, but now he's gone.

I can never love again, nor do I want to.

I love you, Jem.

I can only hope to see you again someday.

The End. I want to say goodbye, but I won't, so Mizpah to you all. Ave Atque Vale, Jem Carstairs.