Why didn't you?
He looked so lost; lonely, and lost. Confused as well, but with Hiccup that was often a given, Astrid thought.
She saw as Stoick led the warriors away, on another hunt. One that was all of a sudden looking even more dangerous than it had ever been before. She wasn't sure if Hiccup had warned his father about the monstrous dragon at the nest, but if he had then Stoick was deliberately leading them all to their deaths. There was no way Toothless would be able to get away from those chains and it would be too late by the time the leader of their tribe realized what he was up against.
Astrid watched the boats sail and suddenly realized she probably felt some of what Hiccup himself was feeling. He was, after all, watching his father take his best friend hostage and force him to lead them into a suicide mission… with a good portion of the village along for the ride. Despair, loneliness, confusion, and a great deal of 'I need to fix this' must be running through him. But strangely he was just watching them, that hopeless look on his face like he had given up; completely given up, on everything. That look made her heart hurt.
And suddenly she couldn't stand it. That wasn't the Hiccup she knew. He- the Hiccup she knew would be trying to fix this; would be figuring out a weird, crazy idea that would save them all and make everything perfect. Determined to get her- whoops, no, that Hiccup back she neared him.
"It's a mess." She said, hoping to all the gods she was going about this the right way. "You must feel horrible. You lost everything: your father, your tribe, your best friend."
"Thank you for summing that up." Hiccup said, his expression incredibly annoyed, though to Astrid it was a bit of a relief. As long as the hopeless expression left he could be as annoyed as he wished.
"Why couldn't I have killed that dragon when I found him in the woods?" he said, uncertainty and hurt clear in his face and voice. "It would have been better for everyone" he looked so lost, so depressed, not at all like the energetic Hiccup she knew.
"Yep, the rest of us would of done it." There was a slight frown on his part, but he knew it was the truth. "So why didn't you" Astrid turned to him for the first time, and wondered out loud. "Why didn't you?" Why? Why was he always so different? She asked herself. Why was it always Hiccup who had to come up with the strange ideas? Why was it always him?
"I don't know" He turned away, and she felt all of a sudden… unconfident, uncertain. Was this really…. "I couldn't" He sort of said, looking up like he's just saying it for the sake of answering. That wouldn't do.
"That's not an answer." She said, not liking the fact that he was lying to her, keeping things from her.
"WHY is this so important to you all of a sudden." He glanced back at her, angry; feeling desolate, hurt, and unsure.
"Because I want to remember what you say right now." She's certain this time, this is important she can feel it. But, he's irritated. Does he… he doesn't, she realizes. He doesn't believe he's worth it, he thinks that he will mess everything up.
"Oh for the love of-! I-" He stopped, then continued in the same way as before. "I was a coward. I was weak." His tone was flat, saying it like what he expected she wanted to hear, like that was what he was.
"I wouldn't kill a dragon." More forcefully this time, like that was the truth and he didn't care if that made him a coward or weak, he wouldn't she realized.
"You said wouldn't that time." She leaned in, certain that she was on the right track. Confident, finally, that this was right. This was the way to get to him.
"Oh, whatever!" He gestured, his face in a scowl. So upset, she thought, and felt her heart constrict once more. "I wouldn't!" He leaned in like it was a secret, a shameful secret. "Three hundred years and I'm the first Viking who wouldn't kill a dragon." He stared at her, daring her to contradict him. Knowing he was right.
So much hurt, she saw. So much hurt and yet he still stood firm. He still believed in those dragons, in Toothless, in his best friend. At the cost of his family and tribe, he was sure of what he found but still it hurt. He turned away, frustrated.
So much… he was…
"First to ride one, though." She said knowing it was right, hoping to see her old Hiccup all the way back. He startled, but didn't turn. "So…?" She asked again.
He seemed to debated with himself… then:
"I wouldn't kill him because he looked as frightened as I was." He turned back, lost in his memories. He himself hadn't known, she realized. "I looked at him," He looked up at her, right into her eyes and asked her to understand, "and I saw myself."
Astrid was stunned for a second, he was… but his face as he looked down wouldn't let her be. She couldn't have that worthless, hopeless look on his face a second more. "I bet he's really frightened now. What are you gonna do about it?" Come on, you have to do something.
"Ah…" He shrugged, "probably something stupid." He said, looking for all the world like he was asking her to be alright with it.
"Good, but you've already done that." This was more like him, and suddenly she saw as an idea came to him. His eyes lit up and he seemed to almost smile for a second...
"Then something crazy." His voice almost breathless, he started to walk away before turning and breaking into a run. Her Hiccup was back.
"That's more like it" She said, happy and all of a sudden more than willing to help him out. He needed back up after all, and who better to help him than herself? Though, perhaps this needed a little more help, and she knew exactly where to find it.
A/N: Hey everyone, how was christmas? Mine was ok... Neways, this is just a little something that came to me from the movie, just a little scene in Astrid's point of view on the whole situation. *shrug* what can I say? it just wanted to be written. Funnily enough it's sort of goes with my other Astrid POV- 'Always' I just wanted to poke fun at myself, lol. On the plus side it did give me an idea for another little one-shot... or maybe it'll be a short fic. I don't know yet. I'll give you a hint about what it's of: Cove, Toothless, Hiccup and Astrid... a few days after he wakes up... jejejeje.
Neways please, please, please, please, please review and tell me what you think, or at least if you liked it and haven't already read my other How to Train Your Own Dragon fics then please do :)
