*Fair Warning: This story will eventually contain spanking of an adult! I won't warn you again.*

I do not own Criminal Minds or any of its characters. I think it's pretty clear that they own me.

This chapter is dedicated to Lisa's continued health and happiness. I'm not exactly sure when you'll get to go home, but I wanted this waiting for you when you did.

XOXOXOXOXO

Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told: "I am with you kid. Let's go." ~Maya Angelou

The young agent was utterly silenced by the disappointment that registered on Hotch's face. He had known all along that he should give up the vial of dilaudid to him, but the container had betrayed him in the end by rolling out of his bag while he slept on the jet back to D.C. Now his boss was requiring answers, and nothing he could offer sounded the least bit justifiable even to Reid's ears.

Judging by the young man's reaction, Hotch had come to the correct conclusion that the liquid inside was indeed dilaudid. He changed his demand to, "Is there more?"

"No! No, Sir, that's the only one," Reid answered with an abashed whisper. Eyes wide, he studied his boss' face, hoping he would be believed.

Hotch restrained himself from tearing into Reid at that very moment. The rest of the team, which had been sleeping on the long return from Seattle, was slowly beginning to stir as the jet made its descent. Quietly, he said, "We'll discuss this after we land." He pocketed the vial and stalked to a lone seat where he could think and still keep an eye on his troubled young agent.

Suddenly left alone, Reid numbly buckled himself into the seat he occupied and wrapped his arms protectively around his midsection. He knew he was in a lot of trouble and that he'd better have some good answers for Hotch when the discussion began, but he honestly couldn't think of anything valid. How many times over the last couple of days had he told himself to hand it over? Definitely enough to have known better. The only point in his favor at this moment was that he had never actually used the drug. Certainly he had come close a few times, but he had never given into its pull.

Chewing at his lower lip, he risked a timid glance at Hotch who sat in his direct line of sight. What he saw made his eyes prickle with the tears that now threatened. Hotch sat rigidly, staring at the back of the seat in front of him. Feeling the young man's eyes on him, he turned his head slightly to make eye contact. The message Reid received from that glance was one of deep disappointment. Unable to stand the feeling of failure, he dropped his eyes immediately and held his breath to keep the tears from falling.

Minutes later, they were on the ground and slowly taxiing down the tarmac. As they gathered their belongings, J.J., Prentice and Morgan were all talking about meeting for drinks tonight. "Rossi, why don't you join us?" Morgan asked.

Rossi was distracted by Hotch distancing himself from everyone. He absently responded, "Yeah. That sounds good. Let me know."

Morgan's eyebrow cocked at the odd reply, and he followed Rossi's gaze toward Hotch. Now he was concerned too. Looking down, he noticed Reid's detachment as well. He wondered what had happened, but decided against investigating with the rest of the team around.

The jet finally came to a full stop. Morgan opened the door for the team, offering his hand to J.J. and then Prentice as they exited. He looked back and saw the quick nonverbal exchange between Rossi and the team's leader. Hotch gave his patented "everything's fine" nod of reassurance. Rossi didn't look convinced, but seeing a distressed young doctor still plastered to his seat, he figured Hotch had some business to take care of. Making a mental note to check in with Hotch later, he turned and headed for the door.

Morgan waited patiently for Rossi to leave before moving back into the cabin. He wasn't at all certain if he needed to be there right now, but decided he had earned the right to at least know what was going on. His boss continued his stern gaze in Reid's general direction. "Hotch?" Morgan asked everything with that one word.

Without taking his eyes off of Reid, he tightly responded, "Morgan deserves to know, don't you think?"

Morgan moved slightly so he could see Reid's face. The younger man's head was bowed, he was picking at his fingernails and his knees were bouncing. In response Reid slowly, almost tragically, nodded his head, but he didn't say anything. The jet was silent. The older agents waited for Reid to say what needed to be said.

He tried to find the words. Really, it was quite simple, but actually saying it was nearly impossible. Reid opened his mouth to make an attempt at the words, but soon shut it again without a sound.

Morgan was growing extremely worried and impatient now. How could anything the kid had to say be that bad? To help his young friend along, he moved himself between the two men, directly in front of the struggling doctor. "Hey, look at me," he ordered.

Reid's movements froze. If anyone could and would drag the confession out of him, it would be Morgan. Quickly clamping his eyes shut to clear away any tears, he swallowed, and then raised his head. He still couldn't look the older man directly in the eye, but managed a reluctant gaze through his eyelashes. Licking his lips, he tried again, "I-aaa-I'm really sorry, Morgan." Damn! Why couldn't he just say it? He dropped his eyes in defeat and shame.

Frustrated now, Morgan turned to their boss for answers. "What's going on, Hotch?" he demanded.

Locking eyes with Morgan, Hotch simply turned his fist over and opened his hand to reveal the vial of dilaudid.

Morgan was incensed, "Is that what I think it is?"

His voice was loud and his tone sharp. Reid flinched and wrapped his arms tighter around himself.

Morgan turned on Reid, "Answer me!"

Without taking his eyes off his knees, Reid frantically nodded his head. He started to sniffle but could say nothing.

The older agent could see he was frightening his young friend. He almost didn't care, but he pulled back his fury ever so slightly with the next questions, "Where did you get it? How long have you had it?" He felt Hotch approach behind him. Morgan vaguely wondered if he was there for the answers or if he was there to protect Reid from him. Probably a little of both, he decided.

Reid desperately wanted to run away. Because he couldn't, he raised his head and blurted out, "I didn't use any, okay!"

Morgan and Hotch looked down at Reid's now tear-stained face and tormented eyes. Seeing the effect he had had, Morgan backed down feeling mildly guilty. Hotch softly said, "Sit down, Morgan," and indicated the seat facing Reid.

With his remaining frustration, Morgan huffed down into the chair letting Hotch take over. Continuing to stand, Hotch began, "Reid, we're both relieved that you didn't use, but the fact remains that you had the drug in your possession. We specifically talked about what you would do if you felt tempted at all. You didn't follow through with our agreement."

Reid swallowed and sincerely squeaked out, "I'm sorry, Hotch. It won't happen again."

Neither of the older men was buying it. "Why didn't you tell one of us?" Hotch wanted to know.

"I-I don't really know," was the timid reply, "I wanted to, but I couldn't." Reid returned to studying his knees.

Calmer now, Morgan asked, "What did you think would happen if you told us, kid?"

Reid didn't want to answer that. He didn't want to face the truth. Frustrated, and feeling trapped, he leaned his head against his seat, looked up at the ceiling then out the window. The older agents waited patiently for an answer. Reid sighed and said, "I don't know. Nothing, I guess, but you'd be disappointed and I wouldn't have the dilaudid if . . . ," he swallowed hard, and finished with a whisper, ". . . if I needed it."

There was a feeling of relief now that the truth was coming out. Hotch decided he should deal with this at home, "Okay, Spencer." He watched with satisfaction as his use of Reid's first name shocked the kid into making eye contact, "before we go, I'd like you to answer Morgan's questions. Where did you get it, and how long have you had it?"

Reid's eyes moved from Hotch to Morgan and back to Hotch again. He didn't want Hotch mad at Morgan, but he was afraid this might do it. As he answered he nervously went back to playing with his fingers, "I know a guy . . . he – he works out of the back of this bar not far from my place." He dropped his eyes to his lap as he finished, "right across the street from the dry cleaners." He risked a glance up at Morgan to see if he made the connection.

Indeed, he had. Without pause, the older man was furious again, "Are you telling me you were able to get the dilaudid in the three minutes it took me to pick up my laundry?"

Reid was suddenly afraid Morgan might reach out and strangle him right then and there. He chewed his bottom lip as his brow furrowed. In answer he nodded his head guiltily, "I'm really sorry, Morgan. I didn't plan it, I swear. I hardly knew I was doing it when it happened."

Pointing a finger at the young man's chest, Morgan demanded, "So, what? Now you're not responsible for your own actions?"

The younger man was shocked by the attack. He had no idea how to answer that. Of course he believed he was responsible for his own actions. For that matter, he generally believed he was responsible for everything bad that happened around him. He couldn't find the words to explain what had happened to him that day, but he truly felt he didn't have control at that moment.

From above Morgan and Reid heard Hotch's inflection again become uncompromising, but they were both startled at who it was directed toward, "Morgan. Can I talk with you for a moment?" The younger agents knew this was not a request, but an order.

Morgan was annoyed at having his tirade interrupted, but he respected his boss too much to argue. He followed Hotch to the door of the jet. With a worried expression, Reid turned to watch them go, but he knew better than to move out of his seat.

Hotch positioned Morgan and himself out of Reid's line of sight before beginning. In his most accusatory tone, he asked, "You left him alone?"

Morgan had done everything for that kid. He got him out of danger, took care of him when he was sick and listened to him like a big brother should, so he was stunned when Hotch turned on him like this. He became immediately defensive, "Hotch, you can't seriously be blaming me for this! Reid made the decision to buy those drugs, not me!"

Unexpectedly, Hotch's tone returned to normal, "Good. Remember that, Morgan. I don't want you blaming yourself for this. I need you to be strong for Reid right now, and if you're feeling guilty about his actions, you're not going to be any good to him."

Morgan felt like he'd been hit by a truck. It was unlike Hotch to play games, but he understood why he'd done it. Morgan always blamed himself when Reid got hurt. Hotch made him stand up for himself before he could even start feeling guilty. It was things like this that reinforced Morgan's respect for his boss. He gave a nod of understanding, and Hotch guided him out the door. The senior agent needed to handle the rest of this on his own.

XOXOXOXO

Hotch drove with one eye on his youngest agent. Reid was certainly nervous about their impending discussion. Hotch watched him squeeze his hands together over and over. It was ten minutes into their drive before Reid got up the nerve to ask his first question. "Are you angry with Morgan?"

Hotch heard the pleading within the question, "No. I'm not. This wasn't his fault."

Reid flinched. This was completely his fault. Suddenly, he desperately wanted to escape the vehicle. He felt so ashamed. His mind raced with possibilities for a getaway, all of which would either hurt or kill him. And if he managed to survive, Hotch would kill him anyway. He needed to calm down and think. Staring out the window at the passing road, he realized what he really wanted right now. Taking a shaky breath, he quietly admitted, "Hotch, I – I want a hit."

Hotch simply laid a hand on the young man's exposed neck. He said nothing until they arrived at his apartment. Cutting the engine, he slid his hand to Reid's shoulder and gently squeezed. "I'm proud of you for not taking the drugs." Reid looked up at his boss in surprise, "You had ample opportunity to use in Seattle. It says a lot that you didn't. I know you're hurting right now, but we'll get through this together. Okay?"

Reid swallowed the lump in his throat and slowly nodded his head in the affirmative.

XOXOXOXOXO

Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed! Please, please, please review. Why do you make me beg?