Johnny gets a pony

Fanfiction Author's note: I love JTHM, and this is supposed to be Johnny when he was 10.

: Breathes in the fresh scent of Hamster blood, standing over the pitiful, bloody little carcass in his sister's room:

Gwendolyn, the most annoying, tattling, ratty little snitch of a sister a ten-year-old boy could ask for, and I'm stuck with her. Why couldn't all the pathetic little Neighbor boys who begged their parents to conceive them a sibling, get her? I HATE her with a burning passion… She always ruins things for me, or pisses me off. Today she even went as far as to talk to me while I was reading in the study! So she had to pay, it's only fair that she broke my concentration, so I had to break her hamster's neck. But the damn thing had to bite me! So I kept stabbing…

When she walked into her room, giggling, I knew I had to jump out the window, and scale the gutter towards my room. But when I was trying to make my elusive escape, she threw her ballet shoe at me, crying and cursing my name. I had to kill her too, because she'd tell father what I did, and he'd take away my voodoo dolls away. So I climbed back up, and slit her throat. To try to cover the evidence, I wrapped her in her 'Barbie' sheets, and shoved her in her wardrobe, underneath the dirty collection of soiled tutu's she hides in there.

When mother and father realized what I had done, they called me down to the living room. I was afraid at first, because Father had hit mother, and I was afraid He'd do the same for me. Mother was sobbing, and father was trying to console her, patting her on the shoulder, I was peering from the corner, and mother caught me, and screamed at me. "You little wack-a-do! This time you've gone TOO far!" I always hated when mother called me 'Wacky' or anything along the lines of it.

Mother and father told me to gather a bag, because I would be forced to go live with grandpa for a while. They saw this as a punishment? I loved grandpa! He had ponies, and he liked to kill things too. He even killed grandma last time I was over there, but he had her stuffed. Mother and Father are stupid, and didn't notice a difference.

On the entire five-hour car ride there, I was asking questions about why mother was so sad about Gwendolyn. "Because she was my daughter you little freak!" I smiled maliciously, because I enjoyed to make mother hysterical…So I pried on. "But she was a stupid little girl, she was so obnoxious. You and Dad could always get a kitten, just like Gwendolyn always wanted." At this, Mother struck me, and I decided that was enough. I reached up from the back seat; still smiling at the mischief I was about to cause…

I had to walk the rest of the way to grandpas. I admit, it was kind of my fault when I reached up from the back seat, to snap father's neck…. Causing Father and Mother to careen off a cliff into a river…. But it's a small price to pay if you want to get the last laugh.

When I finally arrived at Grandpa's house, he walked up to me and gave me a hug. It was the first sign of human emotion that he had ever shown me. "Welcome, Johnny!" he bellowed. "Hey grandpa! I think you'll be proud of me!" and I smiled a little innocent smile. "Oh yeah, Why's that?" he asked, and I couldn't help it, I had to tell him, the master of killing himself. "Well, mother struck me, so I snapped fathers neck, and they went careening over the nearby cliff. I jumped out just in time! Good thing too…." Grandpa's facial expression fell numb, and then perked back up again. "TWO POINTS! GO JOHNNY!" and he gave me a noogie.

After a long day of chopping chicken heads off, and making a nice chicken-soup, we sat down for dinner. Talking about the random impulses and urges we have, and why we enjoy doing what we do.

When I woke the next morning, and came down for breakfast, Grandpa was all excited. "Come out side! Quick! I have something for you!" and he rushed me out to the stables, keeping his hands over my eyes. "TA-DAHHHH!" and there, in the stables full of the stench of dung and piss, was the most BEAUTIFUL horse I had ever seen, and I got to keep her! I was so happy! I rushed up to grandpa and gave him a big hug. "Thanks grandpa! I'll be sure to kill more often!" and Johnny spent the rest of the day riding his horse, and feeding it, and grooming it.

Final Author thought: I'm glad it had a happy ending after all ^_^ any way, forgive me for any spelling/grammar errors. I try to keep the Grammar and spelling CLEAN at least :D

Also, Please review!