A/N: Oh my goodness. It's been way too long, you guys.

So, my life has been crazy, but you guys don't want to hear about that! Time for the story, my dears!

DISCLAIMER: Heartache-sama does not own Vocaloid.

ENJOY!

Len couldn't sleep.

If he closed his eyes, even if only for a few seconds, he was assaulted. Memories of Gakupo's sharp eggplant-colored eyes and strong violent hands haunted his thoughts. He tried chasing away the images by thinking of Kaito, but soon thoughts of Kaito's warm smile and caring blue eyes turned into thoughts of Kaito's sharp glare and loud voice and accusing words.

Even with his eyes open, the blonde wasn't safe. He could only blandly stare at himself if the mirror, allow his eyes to roam around his bruised face. And when his gaze trailed down the rest of his body, he could only remember the painful burning path of Gakupo's hands against him. The memory left him breathless for awhile, air desperately trapped in his lungs as he stared wide-eyed at his reflection, fear and panic filling his normally gentle aqua eyes, as though the rape was happening all over again. Even once he wrapped the thick sunshine yellow comforter around his body, he could still his own panicked face in the mirror.

What had happened to the strength he had slowly began to regain a few hours ago? The warmth he felt as his sister embraced? The bravery he'd shown when Luka left? The passion and intensity he displayed as he tried to make Kaito understand the depths of their love for one another? Now that it was just Len, by himself, why was he so weak?

He didn't want to see the frightened boy that stared at him in the mirror. He wanted to see the Len that pouted when Rin pulled his hair and teased him for eating so many bananas; the Len that fell for Miku's sweet guilt-inducing smiles and regretfully tasted her mysterious vegetable concoctions; the Len that crawled into Kaito's bed after he had a nightmare and buried his face into the older man's chest. Where was that Len?

As his thoughts ran rampant, the fourteen year old was suddenly aware of an intense desire. In spite of the angry cruel words Kaito had thrown at him earlier, Len wanted the older man more than anything. It was strong emotional desire that seeped through his body, like a sweet loving sort of pain. The blonde didn't give himself enough time to truly think over his desires, to question if going to Kaito was a good idea. He simply stood, pausing long enough to adjust the blanket on his shoulders before slipping out of his room and heading down the hall.

Kaito's door stood before him. Even in the darkness, the silver door handle glistened, glimmering up at him teasingly. Len rested his palm against the icy cold metal, gathering the courage to grip the handle and open the door. He knew that he should knock, but fear steered him away from manners and pleasantries. If he knocked, Kaito could turn him away. Kaito could reject him. Kaito could call him a pathetic slut who fell prey to Gakupo's whims. Kaito could remind him that he was practically begging to be hurt again…

"You're the one that needs to grow up. Stop pointing the finger and wallowing in this angst, and see things for what they really are! Our family hasn't been destroyed. We've fumbled, but we're going to come out on the other side together. Gaku-nii included," Miku's delicate, frustrated voice cut through Len's thoughts. Silence followed her statement, flooding Len's ears. He leaned against the door, pressed the shell of his ear against the wood.

"Then what do you expect me to do?" Kaito's quiet trembling voice filtered through the door. It sounded as though he was crying, and Len found himself fighting the urge to cry as he heard his onii-chan's tear-thickened voice. "Just say that this was all an accident? That it's no one's fault? How can I tell myself that, Miku? We're all to blame. Why did we go get ice cream that day? Why did your damn figurine have to be released? Why didn't we knock down Len's door? Why did we let Gakupo placate us? Why didn't we notice something was wrong with him, that he was fighting something back? Why didn't I open Len's door? Why didn't I open the door?"

And with that, Kaito sobbed. "I let him down, Miku. I promised I would always take care of him and protect him, but I let him down. He was being hurt, and I was right next door. And what did I do? I sang songs outside his door like that would make a difference! I couldn't save him. And if that wasn't enough, I rejected him! I love him, so much, more than ice cream, more than singing, more than anything. I watched him cry and hold in that burden, and through all of that I fell in love with him! Or was I in love with him all along? Was I always this sick, disgusting person that loves him? And I couldn't even tell him that! I couldn't tell him how much I love his smile or his eyes; his hair and his toes and his skin and his lips and his voice and the very air he breathes. I insulted him; I lied to him. So that's why I have to blame Gakupo, Miku. That's why I hate him. Because, somehow, he made me this crazy deplorable person that loves Kagamine Len."

The world was blurred. One moment Len was staring at the wood of Kaito's door, and in the next, his hand was twisting against the knob; pushing against the door with all of his strength; staring at the shocked faces of Kaito and Miku. His vision was blurred with frustrated tears, and he knew Kaito's vision was just as fuzzy. It pained Len; his stupid tears were holding him back from seeing the deep blue eyes that he loved so much. Where were the eyes that soothed him and loved him?

Len stepped forward, stumbling and tripping over nothing but his own feelings – his own confusion and sadness and hopelessness. And then, warm hands reached out and steadied him, catching his own trembling limbs. He was crying even harder. He still couldn't see Kaito, but he could feel him. It was pure sensation. Skin against skin, electrifying nerves; the innocent sincere sensation of intertwined fingers. It didn't feel dirty or disgusting or forbidden. It felt like…

"I love you."

When they pulled up to the driveway, Lily was already standing at the door to greet them. The blond's expression was happy albeit confused smile, though the uncertainty quickly faded away as she and Luka embraced one another. They pulled away from one another, and Lily moved to greet Gakupo. A few weeks ago, Luka would've been completely calm. As it was, her eyes were nervous as she watched her violet-haired lover embrace their friend and fellow vocalist. Was this difficult for him? Was he fighting with himself not to rip away her clothing and…

"Luka-chan?" A voice sounded from within the house, and the pink-haired women poked her head in the doorway to see a pair mismatched eyes blinking at her owlishly.

"Piko," she breathed with a smile. "It's good to see you."

The younger boy smiled. "Yeah, good to see you too. It's been awhile. I had no idea you were coming. Are the others with you?" The snowy haired singer leaned to the left, doing his best to peek around Luka's body.

"It's a bit of a last minute trip. Gakupo's the only one with me." As soon as those words left her lips, Lily and Gakupo stepped inside.

Had the last twenty-four hours not have happened, she wouldn't have noticed it. Gakupo's eyes roamed up and down Piko's body, but not in a sexual manner. In fact, he didn't react to the younger male at all until they made eye contact. Calm purple eyes narrowed and darkened, clouded with some kind of emotion Luka had never seen in her boyfriend before. She noticed the way he bit his bottom lip, as though he were trying to restrain himself. The thick veins in his neck seemed to pulsate, suggesting that Gakupo was clenching and unclenching his teeth. As Lily called Miki downstairs and Piko offered them a drink, Luka couldn't help but wonder if she made a mistake.

A/N: Sooooo, things have happened! YAY! My outline for this story is a little off. I ended up slightly pushing certain scenes back (only a tiny bit). Not much plot heavy stuff here, but...at least I updated? *nervous laughter as author ducks and avoids being hit with rotten vegetables* We'll get into some heavier stuff next time, though. I probably shouldn't have included Gakupo and Luka's little scene in this chapter. It gets totally overshadowed by Kaito's angsty drama queen moments. Lol, and Miku totally got lost in the last bit of that scene. I got done writing it and was like, "Miku who?"

And is it possible? Will Kaito FINALLY stop denying the love and just be with Len-chan? And hopefully provide us with a sex scene?

Probably not...

JK. I actually don't know. Kaito frequently does what he wants in this story. He cannot be contained.

SEE YA NEXT TIME!