The BLU Pyro spun around in surprise, backpedalling across the locked point to get away from the RED who had popped up behind him. He raised his 'Backburner' and fired it, a plume of beautiful red and orange belching from its end.

The RED Pyro seemed amused at this reaction if anything, and, diving out of the way of the searing heat, raised his own weapon, and instead of fire, a blast of compressed air burst out of its end, knocking the other backwards.

Aware that to stumble was to die, the BLU rolled skilfully back onto his feet and raised his weapon again.

Click.

"Oh zhht." He muttered. Who'd have thought, all that wall marking he had done earlier had eaten all his ammo. He dropped the 'Backburner' and pulled out his Flare Gun, but in the seconds it had taken for the BLU to realise he was out of ammo and switch to his secondary weapon, his opponent had drawn his hammer, and swung it around.

The 'PowerJack' struck his wrists with enough force to put a hole in a concrete wall, and undoubtedly broke them both. The Flare Gun fell half dented in, to the stone floor, and its owner fell back to join it with a muffled shriek of pain, doubled over, unable to stop his body's natural desire to curl around his injured arms.

He sat on the floor like that for a second or two, before forcing his head up to look at the RED.

His opposite was standing over him, his masked appearance casting a deep silhouette with the sun behind him. The 'PowerJack' was still out, the handle only held in one hand, the shaft rested against his shoulder.

The BLU glared through his mask at his opposite. "Wll…ghh mnh wff ihh."

The RED huffed slightly, and swung his hammer around, off his shoulder, and straight into the dirt beside the defeated BLU. The other Pyro couldn't stop himself from jumping as that weapon pounded hard into the ground beside him, and it took a few seconds for him to realise that it hadn't reorganised his torso into a bloody pulp.

The BLU looked up again, this time, decidedly confused. And it only increased as the RED sat down on the dirt beside him.

"Wh… whht mhh mph o dmmphn?"

The RED either didn't understand the muffled question, or was ignoring him. He was reaching into a leather satchel on his belt, and pulled out two things; a bit of paper, folded up, and a small Health Kit.

No way. He wouldn't possibly be thinking of…. Giving me that? What kind of idiot is this RED guy? The BLU thought, amazed.

But, the RED placed the Health Kit on his opposite side, and unfolded the paper, holding it up for him to see.

Scrawled across the top of the page were the words, Humour me, or I'll kill you.

Well, it was nice to know where one stood. Heaving a sigh, the BLU nodded. "Shph."

The RED Pyro nodded, and reached into his bag once more, and pulled out a pencil. Twirling it once in his fingers, he put the tip to the paper.

You will have to forgive the written conversation, BLU. He wrote, glancing at his captive occasionally to make sure he was watching the words appear. But I cannot take my mask off.

The BLU Pyro perked up in surprise. "Rhhlh?" He asked. "Nht ht lll?"

Not at all? The RED Pyro chuckled a little and shook his head in a no, before returning the pencil to the page. Not unless in the good graces of our Medic. He explained. Do you suffer the same, by chance?

The BLU was suspicious, but, didn't really want to shit his captor off, not when he was unarmed…to the point of hardly being able to use said arms. So, answering truthfully, he shook his head. "Nhh."

The RED nodded once. "Mmmh." He said. Without warning, grabbed the BLU Pyro by the head, and wrenched the mask upwards.

And the RED found himself looking at a man, probably in his twenties; the left side of his face was scarred up, presumably from setting too big a fire too close to his head. They bore some similarities, but, were different enough, he supposed. Considering that everyone else who shared a class in this damn war had the same face. This BLU was young, that was for sure. No wonder he was taller. Kind of reminded him of what he used to look like, when he was young.

The BLU coughed a little as the raw air touched his lungs. Unsurprising, really. When he had been young, his lungs were accustomed to the outside air. But, more and more years of wearing this suit, and doing what he did… well, let's just say the chain-smoking French pain in the ass had less breathing problems than he did. So, this kid Pyro must have been doing this for a least a year or two.

After getting over his coughing fit, the BLU pointed a slate grey glare at his captor. "Any point to this?" He asked. His voice had a slight rasp to it; the warning sign of what was to come.

The older Pyro chuckled and twirled the pencil again.

I wanted to talk, young BLU Pyro. We are very similar, you and I, and I am wondering if the similarities between our comrades extend past their appearances, too.

The BLU looked at the latest messaged scribbled down, before giving his captor an incredulous look.
"You ambushed me, and broke my fuckin' wrists, just to chat about the assholes I'm not allowed to light up?" He blurted out, pausing to cough once. "You're freaking kidding me!"

I have a Health Kit. Was the written reminder. And I can give it to you, for your wrists.

"Pfft! What do you think I am, stupid? I dunno what you're planning, RED, so just kill me and get it over with!"

The older Pyro suddenly seemed to loom.

Is that what you want, BLU? He wrote, practically shoving the paper right under the boy's nose when he was done. Really?

The boy recoiled a little. "…H…How can you be so freaking menacing when you're communicating though notes?" He muttered.

The RED Pyro broke out laughing. It's a talent, I suppose. Now, are you going to listen to my proposal?

The BLU frowned at him, but, found he didn't much like the idea of having his head caved in by the 'PowerJack, which still sat by its owner's side, just begging for an excuse to be introduced to the side of the BLU's skull.

"Alright RED. I'm listening." He paused. "So to speak."

RED laughed hard again, greatly amused by the two, awful, unintentional puns his young captive had let past his chapped lips, before putting pencil to paper again.

… … … … … … …

I cannot believe I am freaking doing this.

It had sounded like the stupidest idea on this side of the moon, and the younger Pyro had been quite happy to let his opponent know, along with all the reasons he could think of, starting with 'we'll both be killed' and ending with 'we'll both be fuckin' killed!'
But, the BLU quickly learned that his opposite was not the kind of man who was going to be persuaded from his plans in any great hurry, especially when he had his heart set. And this Pyro wanted to see the BLU team pretty badly. He wanted to know if he had been spending the last ten years of his life fighting against the same men he was fighting with. He wanted to know what in hell was going on!

He also wanted to know how well the BLU team knew their Pyro. How well the RED team knew theirs.

And the younger Pyro just couldn't argue. Not if he didn't want to become better acquainted with the 'PowerJack' than he had already.

And so, this was why he was now standing in a line, in a RED uniform, receiving a verbal lambasting from the RED Solider for not contributing to the battle, all the while trying as hard as he could not to fidget. He shouldn't be here! Well, not while not trying to burn these guys to a cinder at the very least! But no one was holding a weapon. If he was hanging onto his, they'd start asking him questions, and he didn't want them to start asking him questions.
How was he supposed to act?
That stupid raving RED had not even offered a single word of advice! Damnit, the second they saw each other on the battle field, he was killing him, and taking his uniform back.

If he even lasted that long.

"Are you even LISTENING to me, maggot?

"Mph!" The Pyro said quickly, jumping slightly.
The Soldier huffed at him. "That's yes SIR to you, maggot!"
"Mph mrph!"
"Better." And at that point, the Soldier launched into what he thought was a riveting and stirring speech about the qualities of Sun Tzu, and how he could have killed every person on the planet with a ball point pen. The RED Scout, apparently, was rather similar to the BLU one, to the point where he automatically goaded the Soldier by interjecting;
"So why didn't he then, if he was such a smartass?"
The Soldier whirled on the Scout to lecture him about the ancient Chinese military mastermind's moral code, and the Pyro let out a breath he hadn't realised he had been holding.

Every time one of the REDs looked in his direction, he found himself stiffening. It's alright. He kept telling himself. I'm wearing that crazy asshole's red uniform. They can't tell the difference!

But the way the Medic kept glancing at him made him nervous. The doctor would be the one to know the other Pyro the best, he supposed, so, maybe he was suspicious alrea-
"Are y' okay there, Mate?"

The voice of the Sniper damn near made the young Pyro jump out of his skin. He whipped around and backed up from the Australian, who had walked up behind him.
But instead of looking suspicious, he looked a little worried.

"Y' alrigh'?" He asked again. "Something got y' spooked?"

Shit! Okay, okay, don't panic. He still thinks you're that other Pyro. He's worried because you're acting freaked out. Oh fuck he's still looking at me… what do I DO!

"Nnnn…" The young Pyro could have cursed himself. Even with the mask making his small 'Uhh…' sound like a grunt, and as a result, easily translated into any number of words, it hadn't muffled how panicked he was. And damn it, he couldn't get himself to calm down! He was going to start hyperventilating at this point!

The Sniper's worried expression deepened to a concerned frown. "Pyro? Y' didn't get hit, did'ja?" And the sharpshooter started looking the shorter man up and down, expecting to find a tear in the suit, blood maybe mingling with the red of his uniform.

Before he could even think, the Pyro put both hands up defensively.
"Nrrh! Mn fnn!"
The Sniper looked sceptical. "Then what are y' freaking out fer?"
His eyes darted around the area frantically, terrified that the other RED mercenaries had overheard the exchange and were paying attention.
But, it seemed like they were still being distracted by the Soldier, who apparently was still locked in banter with the Scout.

Talk about an odd consistency. He thought.

And then his eyes landed on the Spy, who was talking to the Engineer enthusiastically.

That's it!

"Nrrh, mrfrph. Thphh mmph rph mh Spphh rphph." He said, trying to sound convincing.
He needn't have worried. The Australian hadn't seemed to understand him anyway. "Wot?"
Not quite on the ball, there was a short pause while the Pyro tried to think of what to do next. Opting against looking skyward, like he might have done while talking to one of his own team, he just turned a little and jabbed a thumb in the Spy's direction.

That gave him the idea. "Aaah... dodgin' knives all day, were ya'?"

Pyro nodded, and the concern on the Sniper's face turned to understanding, much to the young fire-starter's relief.
"I know how ya' feel, Mate. He said, clapping the shorter warrior on the shoulder, making him jump slightly. "Those sneaky blighters have been takin' full advantage o' this new pisshole. Once we get stuck wanderin' on our own, any teammate can be one o' those bastards. "

The Pyro nodded. Thank fucking Christ… He thought to himself. I guess it's universal then…. If in doubt, a Spy did it.
He coughed a little to cover the little giggles at his own, lame joke, before turning to look at the other mercenaries.

Damn, this was just…. Freaking bizarre.

You had to be blind not to notice the similarities, really. How everyone in any given class looked identical. Sounded identical. If he shut his eyes and just listened, he hardly would have been able to tell. He didn't dare try it, though. He wasn't letting his guard down with all of these RED bastards around.

...

:D