A/N This is fucked up. Gender bending, boy on boy, threesome het/homo. I don't even know. If you don't like fucked up situations and all this messed up shit straight from the depths of my hormone induced mind, then don't read this. Don't bother flaming, I'll just ignore it. I don't expect very many views, or comments, on this. I just need to get it out there. And I know there are some of you fangirls out there that could appreciate this. Oh, and I've never written sex scenes before, so hopefully this is decent.
CraigxKennyxTweek
Disclaimer: I DON'T WON SOUTH PARK.
Shit Happens.
Chapter 1
It seemed like a good idea. I really, really did. But now, it's too late. There's no turning back.
It all began when I was home alone (first sign of a bad idea, I should never be left alone), and I was nervously sipping on a cup of coffee at 4 in the morning. My boyfriends are at work, leaving me to mindlessly watch some infomercials. I was about to turn off the television after a half hour of listening to some peppy blonde girl talk about some new electric can opener. I was about to turn off the television, but something caught my attention.
A new drug. A new drug that is in testing, and needs guinea pigs. They're pills for anxiety patients with Attention Deficit Disorder. How many people fucking suffer from BOTH of those? Well, I suppose it made sense the infomercial was on at FOUR in the fucking MORNING. It spoke to me. I've tried everything, nothing has ever cured me of my insanity. Who would I have been to question a magic pill like that?
One simple phone call. I made one simple phone call, and I was on the list. To my surprise, the pill arrived the next day. Luckily my boyfriends work until 5 am, and sleep until 3 in the afternoon. The package arrived at noon, and I was quick to begin experimenting.
Why didn't I read the warnings? Not that the warnings could ever have predicted THIS. Raised estrogen levels, yes. I was expecting that. Turning me into a girl? I never saw it coming.
Now, I am here. In our apartments bathroom, staring my naked self down in the mirror, staring at my ridiculously morphed body. I was always girly looking, sure, but it was never THIS bad!
My pale face is softer. My already huge green eyes even larger, surrounded by long think blonde eyelashes. My Adams apple is non-existent.
My vision ventures downward. Jesus. The worst part. BOOBS. Oh dear god. Sticking out of my obvious ribs are two, huge damn double D's.
What.
The.
FUCK.
Okay, sure, I was pretty big for such a little guy, but if this is the female equivalent I want NO part in it. Oh, yeah, and my dick. I have no fucking clue what happened there. In short- it's gone.
Yup. It is officially too late. I'm a chick.
FUCK.
"Tweek?" A groggy monotone voice cuts through my thoughts. The doorknob jiggles, and I frantically grab my shirt and tug it over my head. "Tweek, why is the door locked?" My boyfriend asks more bored than concerned.
"Just a sec, Craig!" I shout, while trying to pull on my baggy shirt over my head. On the plus side of everything, I no longer have anxiety and ADD. I quickly open the door to find my taller, dark haired, boyfriend clad only in Red Racer boxers. We're 18. You'd think he would have grown out of his childish fad by now.
"Hm." He scratches his stubbly chin before entering the room to take a piss. God, he's such a guy. Why doesn't he ever close the god damn door?
~X~
"AHH!" I scream in my high pitched girly voice. FUCK THIS HURTS! My abdomen fucking KILLS! I curl myself tighter as I roll around on my bedroom floor. My boyfriends are at work now, so they'll never hear me. They don't even know this is happening. It's only been a week. A WEEK!
My boyfriends work at the bar from 11pm- 6am every night. Their night classes go from 5pm-10pm, and they sleep all morning. I never sleep. My classes run from 9-11, and 1-4. Basically, we never see each other. Except on Tuesdays. I am SO not looking forward to Tuesday.
I roll around in fetal position every night. My insides are changing. This happens for about three hours after I take a pill. I need to keep taking them. If I stop, I'll be seriously fucked, and fucked up.
~X~
So, Tuesday afternoon has rolled around. I'm pretty sure I have never cried more, than this past week. I probably should have gone to a doctor, but I hate doctors. They scare the shit out of me. Simple as that.
"I love Tuesdays! I finally get to see my little Tweeky-Tweekers!" Kenny grabs my face and gives me a hard kiss to my lips. "Awe, I love you, babe!"
"You guys want pizza, or Chinese tonight?" Craig asks after grabbing the phone in our kitchen area.
"Hm, personally I'm feelin' a nice meat lovers. How bout you, Tweekers?"
"Hm? Um, yeah, sure." I nervously rub my arm. My huge baggy sweatshirt that actually belongs to Craig, somewhat easily hide my hug ta-ta's underneath.
"You okay, Tweeky?" My taller blond boyfriend takes a step towards me. I quickly jerk back, without thinking.
"Tweek, you look…"
"Different." Craig deadpans as he makes his way closer to me. My huge eyes dart between them. I need to tell them. NOW.
"I need to talk to you guys about something…" I mumble, without stutter. I don't shake anymore like I used to either.
"Tweek, I know we're never around with you, babe, but… there's something different…"
"I… I know. I've decided to be a guinea pig for this new drug that cures anxiety, and ADD. Unfortunately… it kinda… turned me into a girl." I tell them with my newly acquired soft feminine voice.
The looks on their faces right now, is probably the most terrifying thing I have ever seen. The glance over to each other, then quickly back to me.
"A girl?" to be honest, Kenny looks like a kid in a candy store. "With boobs?" I nod my head slowly. My head drops and my hands reach to the bottom of Craig's hoodie. I quickly pull it over my head, exposing my bare chest. Both Kenny's, and Craig's jaws need to be picked up off the floor by now.
"Please, please don't hate me…" Tears begin to sting my eyes. My palms fly up to hide my face, as the tears trickle through my girly fingers.
"Hate you? We could never hate you, Tweekers." Kenny calmly pulls my wrists from my feminine face. His expression is soft, and his eyes; understanding, and calm. His hands slip down my bare sides to hold my slender hips. His warm lips softly press to mine for a moment.
"Y-you don't hate me?" His hands move to cup my face. As he smiles. His thumbs wipe away my tears and he mouths 'No'.
"Tweek, I'm bi, Craig's a pan, and you were gay! We love you no matter what gender, and now you're technically straight!"
"Kenny, this is serious." Craig pulls our boyfriends shoulder back so he can see me as well. "Tweek got a week long sex change, and he probably has to keep taking these pills, or he's totally screwed."
"Hm… screw…" A cheeky grin moves to the blond's face. I am in no shape to have anyone fuck me right now, Jesus!
"Kenny, this is serious. Stop thinking with your dick."
"Booooobs…" Kenny grabs both of my breasts in his hands and squeezes a few times. Holy fuck I'm probably blushing so hard right now. Craig stress at him, completely unamused.
"Kenny. Do remember this is Tweek."
"Dude, Tweek was like 9 inches. No shit he's got tits this big!"
"Um…" I attempt to bring attention to the fact that his hands are still on me.
"God, you're so fucking hot."
"Tweek, are you okay?"
"To be honest, my biggest concern was that you guys would hate me. I scratch the back of my head awkwardly before forcefully removing Kenny's hands. He pouts and whines when I pull Craig's hoodie back over my head.
"Tweek, like Kenny said, we could never hate you. We love you too much. No matter what gender." Craig pulls me into a tight hug, squishing myself against him. Ugh, I hope I can get used to that feeling. Awe, I don't get to be as close to him anymore!
"I love you guys, too."