Welcome back to Way Bros. Experimental Furniture Company! It's so awesome that you've come back! Only about fifty percent of our customers ever return, which is because…well. Never mind that! Come inside, we're inventing something new.

This, my dear friends, is our new line of patio furniture. The brilliant, green UMBRELLA is in fact acid resistant. The CHAIRS of the PATIO SET can lock onto the TABLE, and in this configuration, the PATIO SET is in fact capable of flight. (Mikey's been playing with rockets. …XD) The UMBRELLA is supposed to work as a parachute, but…

* "One, two, three, GO!" is heard from outside and a small man can be seen falling passed a window*

Well. We're still working on it.

*from outside* "Ow!"

"He's fine!"

…Forget the gruesome possible injury you just witnessed that man incur! Come, we have more in our inventions department…

By the way…(haha…WAY…)we have just hired a new employee to manage the showroom floor and act as a spare crash test dummy when our current one is broken.

*Frank Iero comes limping in* "Ow. Ow. Ow!"

As you can see, he's currently broken.

Perhaps you'd like to meet this imbecile, I MEAN, dummy? As in crash test? I'm going to have to inform him of his new position anyway…

"Bert!"

Ladies and gentlemen (TRUTH IS NOW ACCEPTABLE), meet our very own, (FAME IS NOW INJECTABLE) and very new, (PROCESS THE PROGRESS) Bert McCracken. (THIS CORE IS CRITICAL, FAITH IS UNAVAILABLE, LI-) "REBEL ROSE!"

"…yes?"

"Stop singing!"

"…sorry. It's my favorite song on Danger Days."

"I don't care."

"I am your author."

"I don't care about that either."

"I could make you the crash test dummy."

"…" MOVING ON! "Bert!"

"Hey, Gerard!"

We're going to have Bert test stuff now. You guys are going to like this.

*Frank is not-so-secretly very happy to see Bert unknowingly in imminent danger*

TORO: "Ready?"

BERT: "Yes."

TORO: "Okay. I will promise you with only a fifty percent chance of truthfulness that this will not hurt a bit."

BERT: "I'm suddenly not very confident, what are we doing again?"

TORO: *stoically pushes red activation button*

FRANK: *laughs hysterically*

BERT: *SCREEEAM*

NEIGHBORS ACROSS THE STREET FROM WAY BROS. EXPERIMENTAL FURNITURE COMPANY: *glance out window and watch random guy falling out of the sky*

BERT: *stalks back in the front door*

TORO: *arrives with a clipboard* Robert McCracken. Please tell me in your own words the sum of your experiences with the improved model of the Way Bros. Experimental Furniture Company ejection seat couch.

BERT: It hasn't been improved.

TORO: *scribbles on clipboard* Could you explain the reasoning behind that conclusion?

BERT: Yeah. Take-off: startling. Flight: fantastic. Landing: excruciating.

TORO: You've left out a part.

BERT: Really? Which part is that?

TORO: The part about the parachute? How did that work?

BERT: I didn't leave out the parachute. You did.

TORO: Ahh. *scribbles* Thank you for your contributions, Mr. McCracken. Your concerns and observations will all be taken into consideration as we continue our work on improving the Way Bros. ejection seat couch. In the meantime, I would advise you see the head of our first aid department.

BERT: Who's head of the first aid department?

FRANK: I didn't know we had a first aid department.

TORO: We do now. We don't actually have any Band-Aids, but the head of department can give out kisses. Bert, his name is Gerard. Go and see him right now.

:)

XD

Xoxo,

Rebel Rose