Chapter 1
Descend upon Carpathian Ridge, a crescent-shaped cliff
that extrudes from the dense Virginia evergreens above a
deep rock canyon. The cliff marks the end of a dirt road
that winds down from above.
Harry Potter (sixteen) is asleep at the edge of the cliff.
With his bike collapsed next to him, he is shivering, curled
up on the fetal position.
He slowly opens his eyes and looks around, disoriented by
the morning light. He then stands up, looking down into the
expansive rock canyon. After a moment of hesitation, he takes
his bike back up the hill.
Harry pedals down into the suburban village of Middlesex,
Virginia... passing by a large rock 'Middlesex' rock-pattern.
Harry pedals past two neighborhood women who are
speed walking with hand weights. They smile at him.
A Pontiac Trans-Am speeds by.
Harry turns the corner and heads towards the garage.
Over to the Potter house... moving through the front
yard where James Potter (forty-four) pulls the cord and his
gas-powered leaf-blower roars to life.
Luna Potter (nineteen) comes out the front door. She
approaches her dad from behind. James turns and aims the
leaf-blower at her face... blasting her with air.
Harry parks his bike and goes inside.
Ginny Potter (ten) as she is jumping on
a trampoline and Lilly Potter (forty-two) as she
sits at a table reading a paperback copy of Stephen King's
"IT". She glances over to the kitchen.
Harry walks into the kitchen. He then goes to the
refrigerator.
Printed in magic marker on the refrigerator notepad is the
phrase:
WHERE IS HARRY?
The opening theme of "Who's the Boss?" begins as Tony
Danza's blue van and the title card. Ginny,
sitting on the floor, singing softly to the theme song "Brand
New Life" performed by Larry Weiss.
Harry, sitting in the La-Z Boy.
The Potter family has convened for dinner. They eat silently
for several moments.
"I'm voting for Dumbledore."
"Perhaps when you have children of
your own that need braces, and you
can't afford them because half of
your husband's paycheck goes to the
federal government, you'll regret
that decision."
(amused bitterness)
"I'm not gonna squeeze one out until
I'm thirty."
"Will you still be working at Yarn
Barn? 'Cause that's a great place to
raise children."
"No, a year of partying is enough.
She'll be going to Harvard this fall."
"I haven't been accepted yet, mother."
(smiles)
"If you think Albus Dumbledore will
provide for this country prior to
the point when you decide to squeeze
one out, then I think you're
misinformed."
"When can I squeeze one out?"
(to his sister)
"Not until like... eighth grade."
(to Harry)
"Excuse me?"
"Harry? You're a dick."
"Whoa, Luna. A little hostile,
there. Maybe you should be the one
in therapy. Then Mom and Dad can pay
someone two hundred dollars an hour
to listen to all of your thoughts...
so we won't have to."
"Maybe you'd like to tell Mom and Dad
why you stopped taking your
medication."
An awkward silence.
(surprised)
"You've stopped taking your medication?"
"When can I squeeze one out, Mom?"
(glaring at Luna)
"You're such a fuck-ass."
"When did you stop taking your
medication?"
(laughing)
"Did you just call me a fuck-ass?"
"That's enough."
(to Harry)
"You can suck a fuck."
"Oh, please tell me, Luna, how
exactly does one suck a fuck?"
(disgusted)
"We will not have this kind of language
at the dinner table."
"They are all silent for a moment."
"What's a fuck-ass?"
Despite his brave efforts to hold back laughter, James Potter
lets out a slight guffaw.