A Child's Plea, a fullmetal alchemist fanfic

A Child's Plea

"Colonel? I need to tell you something."

Ed licked his lips nervously and tried to choose the right words.

"Look, I know you're a bastard. And I know I've called you that a hundred times, and I know I insult you and I don't even know if you care, maybe you don't, but..." Ed swallowed hard. "But I just, I mean I don't always mean it when I call you a bastard. I mean, I kind of mean it. Well, a lot of times you really do act like a bastard, but sometimes I know you don't really mean it, you're just having fun, but you just make me mad and so I call you a bastard, anyway." He'd tried to choose the right words - he was failing.

"But I just want to say that you're not a complete bastard, that sometimes you actually act kind of nice and I know I usually act all suspicious when you do, but sometimes I, I appreciate it. And I mean, you did me get into the military and all." Ed shifted uncomfortably. "Did I ever thank you for that? I don't remember if I ever thanked you for that. But I wanted to thank you. Al and I... We were just so lost, so confused, we didn't have any idea what we could do to make things better - and then you walked in and offered us a path. And you didn't try to sugar-coat it, or tell us we'd love working for the military, you were up front, you told us what it would mean if I joined. And I know I blame you for a lot of the shit that Al and I go through, but it isn't really your fault, not all of it, and I wanted to let you know that I know that." Ed laughed breathlessly. "Even if you do send us out to the ends of earth on whatever stupid agendas you follow, and even if you are nosy as hell and I want to punch that stupid smirk off your face. But you offered us a path, gave us the tools we needed to start again." Ed swallowed. "I don't know where we'd be without you."

"And you haven't abandoned us," Ed continued in a rush. "You've stuck with us all the way, no matter how many times I talk shit to your face or ignore your orders and I know I act all insubordinate and I always kind of wondered why you didn't just ditch me and palm me off on some other stupid official. I just figured you had too much fun tormenting me, and that I made you look good and you wanted to keep me under your own personal wraps so I didn't go off and start looking good by myself. And I still think you kind of do that, but I wanted to say that I know some of that is because you care about us. I... I know you do."

"You haven't left us, you've stayed like Granny and I'm not saying I think of you like a Dad or anything because I don't, well maybe a little, but not really... But no matter how much of a bastard you are you're a hell of a lot better than our dad ever was. At least you're around, you know? And I feel like you wouldn't have walked out on Mom, not like he did, you would have stayed and taken care of us because that's what you do now." This was coming out sloppy, but he couldn't help it. "And I know I say you're useless, but you're really not, just a little useless some of the time maybe... But you try, I really think you do, you try to protect us even if I act like I don't want it, but you do it anyway and you really have saved our lives before. Maybe not all by yourself, but it's the thought that counts, right?" Ed laughed again, without humor.

"You act so high and mighty sometimes, but maybe that's just because you like teasing us. I know I'm easy to tease sometimes, and I think you make jokes at me just to see me blow up in your face and I guess it's a good thing that the stuff I say just seems to bounce off of you because sometimes the stuff I say is pretty rotten. But it's your fault in the first place for baiting me, so I guess I shouldn't even be apologizing, you bastard. You're not even trying and you're manipulating me, getting me to apologize to you for things that are your own damn fault." Ed sighed.

"But you know that I don't completely hate you, right? I know I don't ever act like I like you, and I don't - like you, I mean, like, a lot. But a little, at least, I mean I don't not like you at all. I know I'm always saying how I'm gonna ki... humiliate you or, or punch you out or make you look stupid in front of everybody... But that doesn't mean I hate you, not all the way, not like I'm always saying. You know I don't really hate you, right?" Ed's voice took on a desperate edge.

"Because really, you're, you're really important to me. You've just, you've always been here and you've always stuck by us even when I was being jerk to you and you're still helping us after all this time and so... And so... I have to ask you. I... I need you to do me a favor, okay?" Ed glanced down.

Mustang coughed weakly without regaining consciousness, and a trail of blood started out of his mouth, trickling down his cheek to pool on the floor. Ed wiped it away with his free hand, the other occupied in pressing down on Mustang's chest, desperately trying to stop the sticky red flow that oozed unerringly out from beneath his fingertips. Ed swallowed hard, eyes watering, he told himself, from shock and nothing else.

"Please," he whispered urgently. "Please don't leave us now."

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