"What?" Gabriel looked incredulous, before going cross eyed attempting to stare at a lock of hair that had fallen in front of his eyes. He stuck out his bottom lip and blew up, completely failing at making it move. Castiel glared at the Winchesters, unimpressed.

"Are you honestly saying that... he... claimed to be me for months, and you didn't notice anything?"

"Uh..." Dean shifted, uncomfortably, before picking up Bobby's book and slamming it on the table. "Hey, answer the question, Gabriel."

Gabriel sighed and slumped his shoulders.

"A good magician never reveals his tricks. But I suppose, if you asked nicely..."

Dean opened his mouth to argue, but Bobby held up a hand, watching Gabriel closely.

"We'd like to know how you're still alive. Please. Indulge us."

Gabriel smirked at Bobby, and nodded grudging respect, before laughing.

"Oh come on. You really think I'd risk my own ass in the old "he's behind you" bit? Please. That one's older than I am... and that's saying something."

"So when the fake you distracted Lucifer, the one he turned around and killed... was also a fake you?" Sam leant against the bookcase, suddenly remembering how irritating it was to work with Gabriel. He was like a cat hidden behind a couch, waiting for you to sit down with our feet on the floor before swiping out and scratching the shit out of your new jeans.

"Bingo." He grinned, shooting Sam a wink. Sam wasn't sure how to react to that, so he looked at the floor instead.

"But if Lucifer didn't kill you, where did you go?"

"Guess." He grinned, a wicked, Cheshire cat grin that could get a lesser person arrested. He stared at Dean for a moment, before looking around the assembled clueless faces. "Oh, come on... seriously? No guesses? Ok, I'll give you a clue... it rhymes with... el schmasa... schmerotica."

The confusion was replaced with sheer horror. Gabriel grinned again.

"Schmorrrrrrrnoooo..."

"Casa Erotica? The... the porn dvd you gave us?" Dean was somewhere between awestruck, respectful and horrified. He wasn't sure where, exactly, that was, and wanted the next bus out of there, but there didn't appear to be one. "You lived in a porn dvd... for a year?"

"Well, only about seven months. By that time, I was kind of getting disillusioned with the daily orgies, so I went back to heaven."

"You... I... we..." Dean wasn't sure how to end these sentances, so he just let his head rest in his hands and waited for the bus out of what he was now calling W.T.F-ville. "Sam, take over."

"Oh... uh..." He looked up, clearing his throat. "So..." Gabriel shot him another wink, and Sam's pupils visibly shrank as awkward shivers crept up his spine. "You know, I don't want to know."

Bobby glared at both of them.

"Wonderful. Good to see you boys are putting your educations to good use." He rolled his eyes, before turning back to Gabriel. "So you lived in a porno for seven months."

"Schmess..."

"Stop that."

"Schmorry..."

"I will beat your mouth clean off your face, idjit." Gabriel fell dutifully silent. Bobby cleared his throat, scratching his chin, thoughtfully. "And after seven months, you went back up to heaven, and then...?"

"And then this schmuck... last one, I promise... I come back to find him marshalling a war. A war! You are familiar with the history of me and war, right?"

"Oh yeah, you're a regular coward."

"I'm a pacifist... I'm a very active pacifist. So anyway, he starts petitioning me, and I say "no". And he keeps going, and I still say "no". But he keeps going, so I do the incorporeal equivalent of locking him in the basement for a bit."

"That's cruel, man." Dean looked up, back in an area of the conversation he was comfortable with.

"What? I fed him..." Gabriel mumbled, trying and failing at looking coy.

"Wait..." Sam held up a hand. "So every time you went back to check on the war in heaven...?"

"I stopped in to check he was still alive, and then went to a brothel in Saint Louis. Oh!" He turned to Castiel, looking slightly awkward. "Don't go to Saint Louis. I told them your name was Manuel, but they might recognise you."

Castiel stared at him for a moment, before turning to Dean, a curiously preoccupied expression on his face.

"This emotion I'm experiencing... Is this the same emotion that made you claim you were going to disfigure the crying child in the diner?"

"Yes." Dean nodded. "I would imagine so."

"Oh my father, would you calm down?" Gabriel sighed, slumping in his chair. In his typical trickster way, he was already getting bored of his ruse. "Fine, I was misguided to think robo-halo here could take a joke. What's the harm? We're all back in our own bodies, safe and sound; can I go now?"

"You're not going to be stupid enough to do something like this again, are you?" Bobby glared at the angel with the manner of a school teacher who was telling a smart yet delinquent pupil that he wasn't angry, just disappointed. In response, Gabriel bowed his head, pouting.

"No."

"Good. Sam, let him loose."

Sam stepped forward and untied Gabriel's bonds, while Bobby and Dean broke the spells and set loose Castiel. The angels disappeared with an awkward goodbye, and that, it appeared, was that. Good to know Gabriel was still alive, thought Dean, but it all seemed too... simple.

"Hey..." Bobby turned to Sam, three weeks later, tearing his eyes away from the horrifying spectacle of Dean performing "Livin' La Vida Loca", karaoke style, at the latest dive bar. "He seem a little... off to you?"