I can't really say much about this one. I've been feeling sad lately, because the aniversary of my dad's death is coming up. (sadly, it's three days before my brother's birthday, and i feel bad for him because me and my mom are always depressed that week).

I guess i'll dedicate this to him. It's all the things that you remember until you can't remember anymore.

I'm sorry i'm being so depressing.

Here's a song you can listen to when you read this. Its a positive meaning, but it still makes me sad. (i'm starting to think i'm having an emo moment here.) The song is You Will Make It, by Jem. I listened to it on repeat while I wrote this.

So yeah. Enjoy the story.

'Regular'

'Memory'

"speaking"

'A/U'

Naruto sniffed. The buzz from the sake was making her head all fuzzy, and everything seemed to bright right now. Angrily, she stood up, slamming the curtains closed and fighting the urge to yell at them. How could he just leave her like that? Nothing made sense anymore.

How could he do that? He couldn't just leave one day, and suddenly never come back. Naruto took another swig of sake, sighing and plopping down on her couch, staring at the cracked ceiling and letting her bangs fall over her face. The damn bastard.

"Ne, ne, Sasuke-kun… what do you like better? Strawberry or chocolate?" Naruto asked, smiling brightly at Sasuke. Sasuke rolled his eyes at the bouncing six-year-old girl in front of him.

"Neither dobe. I don't like sweets, remember?"

"But that's no fun…" Naruto gave a pout, her bottom lip puffing out. The ice cream vendor behind her chuckled quietly and Sasuke felt himself redden.

"chocolate…." He mumbled quietly. Naruto immediately perked up.

"What?" She asked, her bubbliness restored again as she ran in a circle around Sasuke, tugging on a strand of his black hair.

"Chocolate!" Sasuke said louder. Naruto squealed and ran up to the vendor, demanding one strawberry and one chocolate ice cream. The man handed it to her, smiling as she handed the older boy his chocolate cone and she licked happily at hers.

"See?" Everyone likes ice cream!" Naruto said giddily, strawberry ice cream smeared all over her mouth. Sasuke covered his snort and licked his ice cream in a slightly more subtle manner.

Naruto gave a little laugh at the memory. Trust her mind to bring up the strangest memories at the worst times. Naruto blinked, sweeping the back of her hand across her forehead to brush her bangs away. Tiredly, Naruto brought her head up and looked at her half full sake bottle with an exhausted gaze. He was a fucking bastard, for leaving her alone like this. But she had to admit, she did miss him.

She missed him a lot.

Naruto gritted her teeth, hauled herself up, and chugged more sake. If the bastard wanted to abandon her, he could abandon her. She could play that game.

Naruto adjusted the headband on her forehead, feeling her sweat make the cloth slick against her skin and letting the headband fall down across her eyes. Naruto sent the kunai she was holding a frustrated glare. The rest of them were scattered in the trees around the target she was aiming for, only two or three coming close to their mark. Maybe the kunai were balanced wrong?

"Che. Dobe." Naruto stiffened at the familiar voice, turning to the dark haired boy who was sauntering up to her.

"What do you want Sasuke?" She growled. Of course he would come to spectate on something he knew she was bad at.

Sasuke held his hands up defensively. "Nothing! Just coming to see how you're doing." He eyes the kunai that were tossed aimlessly about. "I'd say it's going well."

"Go away bastard." Naruto began to walk around, picking up her kunai and tossing them into a pile. "I don't need your criticism."

Sasuke watched mutely as Naruto planted herself next to the kunai pile, her tongue poking out of the corner of her mouth in concentration. She tossed a kunai and had it miss the target completely. Cursing, she picked up another, aiming a bit more to the left, only to have it shoot high of the target. Sasuke sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Your stance is wrong." He said and came up behind her, hands on her forearms as he adjusted her position. "Your feet need to be farther apart, and you shoulders more square to your hips." Naruto nodded and Sasuke backed away. Naruto aimed again and tossed it.

The kunai came closer, but still veered left. Naruto stomped impatiently. "Now what am I doing wrong?"

Sasuke came up, standing in front of her. "When you throw, try to use less movement in the elbow, and more in the wrist and shoulder." His hands were surprisingly gentle as he guided Naruto. Naruto nodded again, but this time, her headband slipped into her eyes. She grumbled something and pushed it back up.

"Che." Sasuke said. He quickly took of Naruto's headband, ignoring the girl's protests. "Turn around." Naruto cursed at him but did as she told, waiting and tapping her foot as he placed the headband around her neck, tying it so that is Naruto looked down, her chin would skim the metal and cloth.

"Try that." He said and turned Naruto back around to face him again. Suddenly, Naruto was aware of how close he was, his hands still on her shoulders, and his mouth at about her forehead level. Naruto looked up at him through her bangs, and gently, Sasuke brushed them away with a cool hand.

Before she had time to react, Sasuke leaned down, brushing her lips with his. It was only a split second of connection, but Naruto felt as if she had been warmed all over. Her eyes fluttered closed on reflex and she leaned closer, tipping her head to the side.

And then he was gone. Naruto opened her eyes to find him with his back turned to her and retreating towards the village. She blinked.

"Eh? Teme!" Naruto yelled after him. Sasuke waved one hand over his shoulder.

"Remember, use the shoulder and wrist." Naruto felt a blush creeping up on her face and turned back to her target before throwing a kunai knife at it. It careened wildly before landing with a thunk into the tree truck of the target's neighbor. Naruto swore.

She took a deep breath, adjusting her posture. The Shoulder and the Wrist… she though, concentrating. She aimed for the painted bull's eye in the center of the tree's target, and threw.

It landed dead center.

Naruto stared at it, before smirking and taking out her next kunai.

Naruto looked around and stood up. She went to her bedroom, Sake bottle still in hand as she went to her closet. She took a quick mouthful and set the bottle on the floor before tugging open the sliding white door of her closet, looking inside and moving all the clothes so that she could reach the very back. There…

Naruto brought out her old weapons pouch, one finger rubbing lovingly over the dirty worn fabric; white with a single blue strip. It had always been her favorite, but when she had needed an upgrade, Naruto found she couldn't quite let it go. Narutp sniffed at the memory and unclipped the bronze clasp. That day had been one of her favorite moments.

With a sigh, Naruto set the pouch next to her sake and pulled out the black ensemble she would need for today. She eyed it with a sort of weariness. The last time she had worn all black was at Oji-san's funeral.

Naruto swallowed the lump in her throat as she stared at the white flower she held in her hands. It was a brighter white than the gray of the sky right now, that was threatening to rain on all their heads. She tugged at one of the soft white petals and looked straight ahead, pressing her lips into a thin, tight line. She wouldn't cry.

Slowly, Naruto walked up to the black table where Oji-san's smiling photo looked out at her, her wrinkled skin creased in a kind smile. Naruto looked at his old eyes one last time before setting the flower down alongside the others, gritting her teeth.

"We'll all miss you, Ji-san." She said quietly and ran her thumb over the edge of the table. "All of us." With that, Naruto stepped back and made room for the rest of the procession to lay down their flowers.

A hand slipped in between Naruto's numbing fingers and she felt a drop of water land on her cheek as she looked over. It was Sasuke, staring straight ahead, his face imitating a blank slate. Naruto ran the thumb that had been on the table across the back of Sasuke's hand for reassurance, and in return. He squeezed it, tightly, comfortingly.

Another raindrop fell on Naruto's head, speeding up until it was a steady downpour. Naruto barely realized, her own warm teardrops were running down her face and mixing with the cooler rain. Her voice shook as she took a quick breath.

Sasuke's arm came around her and spun her face away for the third hokage's grave, making the girl turn into his chest. Silently, Naruto fisted her hands into his shirt, the tears coming faster and her small shoulders shaking.

"Shh… it's all fine. It's all right." Sasuke whispered. He pressed his lips into her soggy hair. "It's all right. You can cry." Naruto gasped and began to sob, her back heaving as Sasuke held onto her, his hand running soothingly up and down her back as she cried.

Naruto scrubbed furiously at her itching eyes. He didn't deserve tears. Naruto stripped quickly, slipping into the black outfit and tugging her hair from it's usual ponytails. Instead, she tied the gold locks in. a tight knot at the back of her neck, securing it with a plain black clip.

That bastard, He always made her feel like that. Whenever she needed help, he always seemed to appear, perfect and comforting in everyway. It was infuriating.

Naruto finish and picked up the sake bottle and the weapons pouch, leaving her room and resuming her place on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. She imagined every crack was a constellation, like the one's she and Sasuke used to name at night, staring up at the sky on the rooftop.

"What's that one?" Naruto asked, pointing at a long string of stars,

"That's pisces." Sasuke answered, seeing her direction. Naruto nodded, as if the term meant something to her. She didn't know how on earth Sasuke could remember all these names.

"Isn't the sky cool?" Sasuke asked suddenly. Naruto turned her head to look at him. His coal black eyes were set on the sky, scanning over all the stars he knew, his ebony hair falling away from his face and over his ears. As Naruto watched, Sasuke turned his gaze to her.

"Something wrong?" He asked, his serene face from looking at stars gone and replaced with a more worried expression. Naruto smiled and shook her head.

"Nah. Just thinking."

"'bout what?"

"I don't know." Naruto said and looked back up at the stars. "Everything. Nothing." She looked back at Sasuke who now had an amused look on his face.

"You sounded actually serious there." He said drily. Naruto stared at him, and Sasuke stared back, the both of them equally serious.

They lasted about fifteen seconds before the both bust out laughing, all seriousness gone.

"Hey Naruto?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I love you."

Naruto stopped laughing and sat up, looking at where Sasuke was still laying on the ground.

"What?" She asked, confused.

Sasuke sat up and leaned against one hand. "I said that I think I love you."

"You think?" Naruto asked, sarcasm dripping from her voice. The corner of Sasuke's mouth twitched.

"Yeah." He said. He closed the distance, leaving a soft kiss on Naruto's mouth. He eyes closed, just like that time in the woods and she leaned closer, hoping this time that he wouldn't leave.

He didn't, just pressed even closer to her, forcing her to lay back on the roof with him leaning over her. The kiss made Naruto feel warm where his lips were on hers, and where his hand was on her arm. It was a strange sensation, but Naruto quickly decided that she liked it. Her fingers tangled in his black hair, pulling him closer.

Maybe she loved him too.

Naruto's breath hitched and she felt moisture slide from the corner of her eye, dripping down her cheekbone to her ear. She didn't even bother wiping it away. How could he leave her? Did he lie? Naruto let out a shuddering breathe and ran a hand through her hair.

Why did love hurt so much? It seemed to always be so wonderful. So perfect. But now… now it felt like she had been crumpled, ripped and thrown away. Why did he have to leave?

Knock, knock. Naruto sat up bolt straight, the effects of the sake still making all her thoughts blurred. "Come in." She called and rubbed away the tear, setting the Sake on the floor.

In came Sakura, dressed all in black. Upon entering, her nose wrinkled and seroed in on the Sasuke. She looked accusingly at Naruto.

"Have you been drinking? What died in here?" When her joke was met with no laughter, Sakura cleared her throat quickly, her jade eyes on the floor.

"Uh… we should probably…-" She trailed off just as Naruto stood up, weapon's pouch in hand.

"Let's go." She said tersely. With a small 'eep,' Sakura scurried to follow her. Naruto felt like this was all a bad dream. None of this could really be happening, and especially not to her. It was…. Too unreal.

Naruto yawned, covering her mouth with the back of one of her hands. She rolled to her side in her bed, glaring at the clock unapreciativly and wondering what had woken her up at one in the morning.

There was a knock at the door and Naruto groaned. So that was what had gotten her up. Stiff from sleep, Naruto hauled herself up, scratching her ear absentmindedly as she went to answer the door.

"Yeah?" She asked, bleary eyed as she swung the door open. She was rewarded with the large form of Sasuke practically falling on her.

"What the hell? Sasuke!" Naruto said, reaching for his shoulders to pry him off of her. "Aren't you supposed to be on a mission?" Suddenly, she felt something wet on her palm, and dazedly, Naruto looked at her hand which was smeared in blood. "Are you bleeding?"

"No shit, dobe…" Sasuke mumbled into her neck. But it didn't sound like an insult. Just a force of habit.

Naruto ground her teeth together at the unwelcome nickname and, firmly securing her arms around Sasuke's armor clad waist, she dragged him inside. As she moved to shut the door, she caught sight of her neighbor, giving her an odd look. "What? You've never seen an injured guy before?" She shut the door in his face.

Grunting, Naruto hauled him over to her couch as he tried to limp along with her. There was one hell of a lot of blood, and Naruto hoped it wasn't al Sasuke's as she sat him down on the couch.

"Stay here. I'm getting some bandages." She said. Naruto ran to the bathroom, tying her loose hanging hair in a quick ponytail on the way as she grabbed stuff. She even grabbed her needle and thread in case it was really bad.

"You didn't think to go to the hospital?" Naruto asked as she came in with her arms full. Sasuke was weakly fiddling with the clasps on his chest gear, obviously too tired to get his hands to work properly.

"Don't like 'em." He muttered. Naruto set the stuff down and helped him, letting them open with a click.

"You and me both." She said and tugged off the gear. She could see several deep gouges across the front and near the sides. If those had been on his skin, Naruto was sure he would have been in a lot worse condition.

Naruto helped him pull off the rest of his gear, gently, and unsure of where the worst cuts were. She had never been much of a medic. Finally, she helped him peel off his shirt and nearly groaned.

The worst of the cuts were across his arms and his lower back where the chest plate had stopped, but there was one jagged cut that ran from the back of his neck and down his ribcage to his hip. There was caked blood all around it, and Sasuke winced when Naruto ran her fingers over it.

"What the hell were you doing?" She asked and reached for a cloth and the bowl of warm water she had made.

"It was a mission, what do you think I was doing?"

"Going around massacring people for the fun of it."

Sasuke stayed silent for a second, only giving the occasional flinch as she washed a cut on his arm that ran down his bicep. "I was just doing my job." He said quietly.

"You know, sometimes, I wonder if we knew what we were getting into as kids." Naruto said as she began to tenderly work on Sasuke's side, trying to ignore his winces and sharp intakes of breath.

"No. Definitly no." He gasped when the cloth hit the lower edge of the cut.

"Stay still or this will never get clean." Naruto said, feeling slightly guilty that she was hurting Sasuke.

Done washing the blood off of him, Naruto began to rub salve into ever cut she could see. "Are there any anywhere else?" She asked. Sasuke shook his head and the cut on the back of his neck that was scabbing over began to bleed again.

"I said don't move!" Naruto said quickly as she dabbed at the blood and rubbed more salve over the area vigorously. Her hands slowed as she noticed Sasuke staring blankly across the room, lost in thought.

"You want to talk about it?" She asked quietly.

Sasuke looked down at his hands and shook his head slightly, not enough to open the cut again. Naruto nodded and let her hands rest on his hips. "You know you can never die on one of these missions, right?"

"Why's that?"

"'Cause I would have to come find you and kill you again." Naruto replied and earned a half-hearted smile from Sasuke. Naruto wrapped her arms around his body, careful to avoid cuts. She rested her forehead on his back, feeling her bangs stick to the skin where it was still sweaty.

"Promise me." She whispered. Sasuke shifted slightly.

"Promise you what?"

"Promise me that you won't die on one of these missions. I don't know what I could do without you."

Sasuke stayed silent for a minute. Then he gingerly turned himself around and wrapped his own arms around Naruto. He kissed the top of her head lightly.

"I promise."

Naruto flexed her jaw as she looked up at the cloudy sky. He was a liar. A fucking liar, She thought venomously. She cast a glance at Sakura who was walking silently beside her, tears slowly dripping down her face as she looked at her feet. It had started to rain, and the streets were nearly empty of people, making it seem like the village was deserted.

Naruto blinked. Why did it always seem to rain on sad days? It always made everything seem so much more sad that it already was.

Naruto looked at the dejected looking ice cream vendor huddling under an umbrella as she passed. His eyes flashed recognition, then they darkened and he gave her a solemn wave. Naruto returned it, knowing her eyes showed pain. It didn't matter. She hurt all over. It felt as if he had ripped out her heart, chewed it up and burned it. He had promised.

Naruto turned into the grave yard, giving a nod to one of the gaurds at the gate. He recognized her and tipped his hat to her. Naruto nodded, dimly aware that she pitied him for his job. He had to watch all the sad people come and go everyday, haunted by memories that would never change. He probably knew when people were the most lost, but could never help.

What and awful job.

Naruto and Sakura both headed to the little cluster of black clad people that were huddled near and open hole in the ground. Without a word, the parted so that Sakura and Naruto could both have spots near the front. Kakashi came up, standing beside Naruto, his one visible eye looking sad.

"He was a good guy." Kakashi said, his voice slightly rough as he looked down. Naruto nodded.

"I know." She looked at Kakashi. He seemed older than ever, he silver hair dripping in the rain, and his shoulders sagging as if defeated. Naruto looked away quickly and gripped the weapon's pouch in her hand even tighter.

"It's not your fault, you know." She said. "I don't blame you."

"I know you don't." Kakashi replied and his shoulders sagged even more. "Somehow, it makes it feel worse, knowing you won't blame anyone for this." Kakashi looked at her with sad, black eyes. "Just don't blame youself, okay?"

Naruto didn't make any move of recognition, and Kakashi sighed. He patted her shoulder and fell silent.

The pastor began to speak, and there was no more sound except for the rain falling and the quiet sniffles of a few people. Naruto stood dry eyed, looking down at the gaping hole, with a miserable gray headstone at the top. The pastor was more like white noise that Naruto couldn't get rid of, and she didn't really register that she was supposed to feel something now.

The anger and the pain she had felt before were gone, replaced by a still numbness that chilled her and made her feel like stone. Naruto felt her tongue sticking to the roof of her mouth as it went dry, and she looked up at the skin, feeling rainwater spatter her face like she was really crying.

She hated him. Hated him for this. He had promised he would never leave her, and now, she would never get to see his face again. Never get to see those small smiles he only showed to her, hear his sarcastic response when she was having a slow moment, Never feel his hands running through her tangled blonde hair in the morning. He was just… gone.

Naruto felt like screaming, but her voice wouldn't work. She gulped dryly, feeling her throat scrape. The pastor asked for other comments, but Naruto couldn't bring herself to speak. Not when Kakashi spoke. Not when Sakura stepped up. Not when Shikamaru, Neji, Kiba, Ino and Hinata stepped up. She couldn't do it. Naruto just stood, frozen.

She felt a nudge at her side and looked over. Konohamaru was looking up at her, a glare in his eyes. "He would have wanted you to stay something. Not stand like a frozen doll. He never liked you when you were like that." Konohamaru said bitterly, and Sakura pulled in a hiss of breath.

As for Naruto, she felt her throat constrict, closing as she tried to breath. Naruto blinked her dry eyes and opened her mouth. A squeak came out and Naruto tried again.

"He…" Naruto's voice hitched. "He was a great guy. He was loyal, he was quiet, and he was annoying. But he was also kind. Kinder than a lot of people think." She began. Naruto felt as if someone else were speaking, the words ringing helplessly in her mind. "I remember when we met…" Naruto took a shuddering breath. "We were five, and he was down sitting on the docks. And I went up to him and said, Hey. Why are you all alone?" Naruto closed her eyes. "And I remember him looking up at me as if I had seven head and green skin." Naruto let out a weak little smile and she heard someone sob behind her.

"And I didn't know it then, but I think I fell in love with him then." She said quietly. Her eyes opened and she looked down at her hands, clenched around the weapons pouch. "He was a total bastard sometimes, but I always knew that he was my bastard. No matter what he did.

"I really loved him." A hand slid into her hers, and with a strange sense of déjà vu, Naruto looked down at Konohamaru who had tears falling freely out of his eyes. Suddenly, Naruto was feeling hot all over.

"I loved him, I still do, and I think he is a complete bastard for abandoning us all. I'll always miss him." Naruto quieted. There were people crying all around now, but Naruto just felt empty.

She had said it, and now it felt as if there was nothing left in her. She just stood and stared as shovelfuls of dirt were thrown in. She didn't move when people started to drain away, and even when the warmth of Konohamaru's left hers, she didn't leave.

"Naruto, we have to go. Naru-" Kakashi stopped Sakura with a hand on her shoulder.

"Leave her." He said quietly and shook his head. Sakura gave her blonde teammate a cheerless look before leaving.

"Her eyes seem… so empty." Sakura whispered. Kakashi nodded.

"I know." He said, trying to rid himself of the haunting image. "I know."

Naruto stayed there for a long time. Not thinking, not feeling. The rain fell around her shoulders until she was soaked completely through. She still held the weapons pouch, and numbly, she looked down at it.

It was like remembering her first kiss.

It was why she could never let it go.

Why she could never let him go.

Naruto felt her heart spasm and her chest lurch. She let out a gut-wrenching sob and collapsed to her knees. Tears wouldn't come, but she felt like dry heaving.

Why the hell had he left her? He had promised! He had always promised. Naruto stared at the grave, her hands fisted in the newly covered dirt that had turned to mud. He had promised.

"You promised…" Naruto whispered, another sob wracking through her body. "You said you wouldn't leave me." She looked at the grave, and sighed.

"You said never to cry over you." She gave a dry laugh, feeling as if it were being squeezed from the remnants of her hearts. "I guess we both broke our promises." Naruto sucked in a cool, humid breath and let it out in a whoosh. She stood up.

"Here." Naruto set the weapon's pouch at the foot of the grave. "You need it more than I do." She said. She tapped her head. "After all, I get to remember you, everday from now on." She said bitterly. Memories were a bittersweet gift, but Naruto didn't know if she could go on living without them.

Without saying anything else, Naruto turned her back on the grave, hoping the rain would disguise the tears that ran down her face. She didn't want to read the grave.

UCHIHA SASUKE

Beloved husband and valuable member of the Anbu.

Died on mission, and will be missed dearly.

RIP

Yeah. I'm depressing. *hides in personal emo corner*

Ah... well, i'm sorry. RIP Sasuke. RIP Dad. RIP anyone else who died.

I'm still listening to this song... god i'm depressing right now.

good news is that my birthday's in a month! (that was so badly timed...)

I'm sorry about any misspellings, but i wrote this in the middle of the night, and i've only had three hours of sleep over the past three days, so i'm a little tired.

My doggie is keeping my legs warm right now. He's so cute.

Not much else to say. I'm sorry i killed off Sasuke, but you all knew it was coming.

And btw, the reason i don't have lemons in most of my stories is because a) the story hasn't progressed to it yet, or b) like this story, i thought a lemon wouldn't describe their relationship in the right way.

And for those of you totally ignorant to the anime fiction writing world, a lemon is an explicit scene between characters. and a lime is a more mild version of it.

just so ya know XD

And also, Just because i write SasufemNaru's doesn't mean i'm afraid of hardcore yaoi. I also don't disapprove of other pairings (ItaNaru & ItaSasu = yummmmmm...) I just like Naruto as a girl, and Sasuke and Naruto are my favorite.

Hearts everyone.