How Birth By Sleep Should Have Ended

Disclaimer: I do not own the Five Dimensions. You'll understand what I mean in a moment

Terra:

Master Xehanort breathed heavily. He kneeled on the ground, beaten and weary, unable to move a muscle. All he could do was watch helplessly and clutch his Keyblade as Terra slowly started walking towards him.

All of a sudden, they heard a loud noise behind them that sounded like an explosion. It was so powerful that it shook both Terra and Xehanort, and for a moment, there was a flash of blinding light. Master Xehanort gasped when he saw was in front of him.

"There, you see?" He pointed at Terra. Confused, the young Keyblade Master looked to where Xehanort was pointing and widened his eyes at what he saw. "The X-Blade has been forged!"

Terra raised an eyebrow, for he had clearly seen something different. "Um, about that-"

"And now, Terra, it is time for the final union!" Picking up his Keyblade, the elderly Keyblade Master stabbed himself in the heart, much to the shock of Terra.

"What?"

"At last our moment is here." At once, a red, glowing orb emerged from Xehanort's chest and rose up in the sky. As it hovered over him, he started moving his arms wildly, like a mad man. "Out with the old, brittle vessel, and in with a younger, stronger new one!"

Terra could only gape in horror as Xehanort's heart kept rising high in the skies, descending over him like a giant dragon ready to swallow his body whole. No pun intended.

"I swore I would survive, and be there to see what awaited beyond the Keyblade War! And now, it is your darkness, that shall be the ark that sustains me!" And with those final words, the dying man used the last of his strength to hurl the heart towards Terra, his new vessel.

Terra was about to reach for his armor, but at that moment, he paused. For a split second, he remembered all of his life teachings from Master Eraqus, and one conversation came up to mind..

Flashback

A five-year-old Terra was sitting in Eraqus's office, while the latter was sitting on his desk, eating raw salami on a stick.

"Um, Master, why are you eating raw salami on a stick?"

"Terra, I need to tell you something. But first…I need to show you something." And with that, Eraqus turned to face his pupil, who was shocked to discover what had happened to his face. Huge scars were penetrating his skin and they were covered in fresh bandages; indeed, these injuries had only been acquired recently.

Terra gasped. "Master!" He put his hand on his face. "Who did this to you?"

"Never mind that, my son. Just answer me this…" Lowering his voice, he began. "What if I told you that if someday, a perverted old man would try to possess your heart through a convoluted plan that involved sabotaging the Mark of Mastery Exam, making you do terrible deeds, and manipulating his own pupil. What would you think of that?"

Terra widened his eyes in shock, then started laughing hard. "Ha! Like that would ever happen."

Half-smiling, the teacher nodded. "Good. It won't. But if by some chance it does succeed, and he corners you in some isolated place far from Aqua or Ventus, I want you run away. Don't do anything stupid; don't fight back, don't summon your armor to protect yourself when in fact it really won't. Just run away like a stupid idiot, flailing your arms like those weird floating men they show on those commercials."

"You mean the ones with Al Harrington?"

"Precisely." Eraqus nodded. "Also, try screaming like a girl. Really loudly. If that happens, your safety will be assured…"

End Flashback

"Wow…I can't believe that actually happened. I just thought that was a bad dream I had…"

Thanking God that he had remembered this crucial memory, Terra finally did the one thing he had never done his entire life by actually listening to something his Master had told him to do:

Run away like a crazy idiot.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Screaming at the top of his lungs, Terra ran as fast as his strong legs would carry him. Eventually, he was running on the edges of the cliff, Xehanort's heart following him to no end.

"What?" The disappearing Xehanort bellowed. His body was still crumbling, but his will was strong enough to keep him around until he was sure that his plan succeeded. "How is he doing that? AFTER HIM, HEART!" He moved his finger to point at the heart, increasing its speed tremendously.

"You'll never catch me alive, you ugly floating ball of mass that sustains life!" Terra started screaming even louder, so loud that his voice was now comparable to that of Aqua when she found a spider in the bathroom while she was taking a shower; that is, it broke the fourth wall and the five dimensions.

Elsewhere

"Exodia, obliterate!" Just as Exodia was about to vanquish Kaiba's Life Points, Yugi heard a shrill sound in the air, that sounded like a naked girl in the shower screaming.

"Huh, what the heck is that?" Yugi paused for a moment to hone in on the noise, when he noticed that his Exodia cards were gone.

"WHAT? WHO COULD HAVE-" It was then he noticed that Weevil had stolen his Exodia cards from under his nose.

"Heh heh heh, say goodbye to Exodia and your grandfather's life, Yugi! Because of that convenient and seemingly out-of-place turn of events, I can attack you with my Blue-Eyes White Dragons and win the Duel!

With no cards to fuel it, Exodia disappeared, and Yugi was subsequently blasted by three White Lightning attacks. His last words before falling unconscious to the ground were "Oh SHIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTT!"

Also elsewhere

Super Saiyan Goku was thrashing Frieza with all his might. The poor galactic overlord could take no more, but his pride refused to let him give up.

"It's over Frieza, take a piece of my Kamehame-" All of a sudden, he heard a strange noise that came out of nowhere, that sounded like a girl screaming in a shower.

"What? Where's that noise coming from?" He reverted to his normal form and honed into the noise.

Seeing his moment of opportunity, Frieza chuckled. "Farewell, Super Saiyan! Watch what happens when you mess with the most powerful being in the universe!"

With that, he shot a Death Beam in the Saiyan's heart. Gasping, Goku felt all of the life drain out of his body. Within five seconds, he exploded. Frieza started laughing whole-heartedly. "HAHAHA! Finally! The Saiyan race is gone for good!"

"Not so fast, Frieza!" Gohan emerged out of nowhere. "You still have me to-"

But he was killed with a Death Beam before he could finish his sentence, also exploding as his father did.

And so ended the life of Goku, the first and last Super Saiyan…

Elsewhere, once more

Light Yagami saw the black notebook lying in the grass. Bending down, he started to pick it up, when all of a sudden:

"Huh? Where's that noise coming from?" Out of nowhere, Light heard a voice coming from the sky. It sounded like a girl screaming in the shower.

Suddenly, the sky became black, and clounds loomed over the school. At once, a bolt of lightning emerged from the sky and destroyed the notebook immediately.

Then it started to rain heavily. Muttering angrily, Light cursed as he rushed inside for his umbrella. "Damn it! Where's the stupid umbrella when you need it?"

Elsewhere, for the final time

In a world where everyone was a ninja, a nine-tailed fox was attacking everyone. It all seemed hopeless; the Fourth Hokage could only watch helplessly as millions of his villagers were slaughtered.

The Nine-Tales closed in on Minato, about to deliver the finishing strike, when all of a sudden…

"GYAHHH!: The Nine-Tales used two of its tails to cover its ears. "That noise! That annoying noise! Couldn't you tell your wife to calm down when going in labor?"

"That's not my wife, you idiot! That's just some random girl singing in the shower, or something!" Minato yelled. Realizing that this was his golden opportunity, he prepared his final attack.

"RESENGAN!" Releasing his Resengan, he attacked for the face of the Nine-Tales, which was weakened tremendously.

Upon impact, the head of the Nine-Tales exploded instantly, and its body fell uselessly to the ground. Sighing, the Fourth Hokage sank to the ground; the village was safe from harm, and everyone could live in peace. Best of all, he didn't have to resort to his ultimate plan of sealing the beast within his son, costing both him and his wife's lives, causing him to feel rejected for most of his life, and save him years of wasted self-loathing and a life of assholish behavior and mutual disrespect of other people.

Yup, everything was perfect in the Village Hidden in the Leaves. No one would be miserable ever again. Except the Uchiha clan, he thought to himself.

Here, in the present setting.

"GYAHHHH! Turn it off, turn it off!" Xehanort grabbed his ears in frustration. But the noise was still there.

Getting desperate, he resorted to more drastic measures. Pulling off his coat, which had not started to disappear, he wrapped it around his head, hoping the leather would muffle out the sound.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" The loud, girlish yell of Terra could still be heard clearly.

"NOOOO! I can't take it anymore!" Putting an end to his suffering, Xehanort jabbed his fist into the place where his heart used to be. At once, the elderly Keyblade master died, leaving behind no traces of him whatsoever.

However, the heart still kept following him around the giant rock. Finally running out of energy with all that running and screaming, Terra sank to the ground, exhausted. The heart was closing in on him, preparing to capture him forever. "No…" The weakened Keyblader called out in vain. "Don't let it end like this…"

But then, something amazing happened. The heart stopped in one place. It started to expand at an alarming rate, until it got so big that it couldn't grow anymore.

And then it exploded. Just like that. The heart was consumed in a fiery explosion that blinded Terra with a flashing light. When the light subsided, Terra looked up in the sky. Kingdom Hearts was still up in the sky, shining down on him.

Happy, Terra laid back and let Kingdom Hearts bask him with light, ridding away all the darkness in his heart for good. Now he could rest in peace, knowing full well that everything was as it should be. There were no bad reprocussions from his actions whatsoever.

Everything was perfect. Everything was peaceful. Everything was…birth by sleep.

(At the cost of 4 of the 5 dimensions.)

End of Terra's story