A/N: New chapter! Woot! LOL. I love you guys for reviewing. Hehehe.

Olivia prepared a bottle for Eli. "Here you go, sweetie," she murmured, rocking him. "Don't cry now, let your siblings sleep for a few minutes."

Eli tightly curled his little fist around her finger. Olivia smiled softly. "I'm gonna need my finger, Eli. You can't keep it, baby."

He tightened his grip, as if her finger were a lifeline. "I guess you wanna keep it, huh?" She reached into the cupboard and grabbed a bowl. "I'm gonna make some pancakes, so you can sit here." She placed him the the carrier.

He stared at her as she poured several ingredients into the bowl. "Let's just hope I don't burn anything," she muttered. "They probably haven't eaten much since..." She trailed off.

"Hi." She heard a soft voice from the doorway. She turned around.

"Good morning, Maureen." She flipped the pancakes onto a plate and set it on the table. "Help yourself."

She placed more plates around the table and sat down, holding Eli, who stared in awe at the stack of pancakes. "Sorry, buddy, you're a bit little for them."

Soon the other kids joined, all of them picking at their food. "Guys, you really should eat. You need to stay healthy. I'm sure your parents wouldn't want you to get sick," she said as gently as possible. Slowly, they all began to eat. "That's good," she praised.

"Olivia? Do we have to go to school?" Dickie asked, looking directly at her for the first time since the funeral.

"No, honey. I've already talked to the principal, and you guys get a few days off." Olivia piled the dirty dishes into the sink as the twins and Kathleen sighed in relief before going upstairs.

"I'll do the dishes," Maureen offered. Olivia shook her head.

"No, I'll do it. You've done a lot of work the past two days." Olivia rinsed water over the plates and piled them into the dishwasher. As soon as she was finished, Eli stirred in his carrier. She scooped him up before he had the chance to cry. "Shh," she murmured.

"You're good with him- all of them," Maureen said softly. Olivia wrapped her arm around her shoulders.

"I know things are hard right now. But it takes time for things to get better."

"Will things ever be perfect again?" Maureen asked. Olivia felt tears sting her eyes.

"I don't know, Maureen. Things will get better, but I don't know if they'll ever be perfect again." Olivia missed him so much, he was a piece of her. For nine years, he'd been her partner, her rock and shield. They gave each other stability.

She couldn't even imagine how his kids felt. She couldn't help but feel selfish for feeling like crawling into a cave and never facing the world again when they had lost both parents.

"I just wish that Eli could have gotten to know them," Maureen sighed. "I got to be Daddy's little girl for twenty three years."

"You still are," Olivia whispered. "Both your dad and your mom still love all five of you very much. I know they do." She hugged the younger woman tightly before pulling away.

"Thanks, Olivia." Maureen wiped at her eyes, and Olivia found herself doing the same. "Olivia? Do you think you could come by on some days? Just to-" Olivia cut her off.

"Of course. Just call me anytime you want me to come over. I can help you with the kids, or dinner, or just to talk. Okay?" Maureen nodded and disappeared upstairs before Olivia buckled Eli into his carrier.

"Come on, Eli, let's go." She gently ran her hand over his soft hair and carried the seat to her car. "You ready to go home?"

For some reason, no place felt like home without Elliot.

EOEOEO

"Now you're nice and clean," Olivia cooed as she lifted Eli out of the baby tub she had purchased for her own bathtub. She slipped him into a pair of pajamas and sat down on the sofa to rock him. "I'll finish putting your furniture together tomorrow. You didn't seem to have any plans on me leaving your sight, did you?"

Eli let out a tiny yawn as Olivia gently swayed back and forth. She began to hum softly. "Go to sleep, sweetheart," she murmured. She pulled the soft blue blanket around his tiny body.

He curled his fingers around her thumb and sucked on his pacifier. Olivia continued to rock him back and forth and hum until his eyes slipped shut. She gently placed him in his crib and kissed him on the forehead. "Sleep tight."

Suddenly exhausted, she yawned heavily and shuffled into her kitchen and opened her fridge. A bottle of wine stood on the top shelf, and she chided herself as she started to reach for it.

No, she thought. I can't drink it all away. She couldn't become her mother... she couldn't do that to Eli. She could deal with this. But Elliot wasn't there to catch her if she fell down a dark hole. She grabbed a bottle of water and shut the refrigerator door.

After a hot shower, she changed into her pajamas and checked on Eli one more time before laying down on the sofa. She pulled the thin blanket over her body and tried to get comfortable.

She shuddered, not so much as from the cold, but from exhaustion and misery. She had always had trouble catching a peaceful rest, but these past few nights had been the worst, because despite how hard she tried not to believe it, she would never wake up and see Elliot. Merely being in his presence had always soothed her, even if they were deep in an argument.

Now all she had was a few photos and her memories. Both happy ones and sad ones. Some from years ago still gave her nightmares.

And no matter what, she was never going to let go of those memories.

A/N: Sorry for the wait and the shortness... can you be all awesome-like and review?