A/N- Hello dear readers, I hope I find you well and happy. As always I am sorry for the wretched pace of this story's update. My life is very hectic, but in a good way, I enjoy raising my young kids, but it leaves me with very little time to write, and I do want to create a good chapter with high quality and a plot that push the story onwards.

The fact that you are still interested is beyond me and I am very grateful for the wonderful feedback that you give me, and I honestly do not take it for granted. So thank you very much for your comments and encouragement, you are the engine that drives me forwards!

Warning for this chapter: Dark themes and a bit of violence. Also Ayase might be a little OOC, but it is due to the extreme situations that he finds himself in.

So, I hope that you enjoy, and until next time- take care!

Silver and cold

.

"...Roads are getting nearer
we cover distance but not together
I am the storm and I am the wonder
and the flashlights, nightmares
and sudden explosions…"

What Else Is There?- Royksopp

The Run

"Are you sure?" Homare asked, his grey eyes bored deeply into Ayase's blues. "Because the feed is in black and white, you know" Misao reminded him. "Might as well be someone from the yellow team."

"I am sure!" Ayase insisted, again, frustrated. "And I think I know white from yellow. That man was wearing pure white."

The brothers exchanged a worried gaze and Homare shook his head.

"So, basically you're saying that you just saw a spook?" Misao could not help but chuckle with unease.

"Yes, no… maybe?" Ayase breathed and wished that for once, just once, someone in this god forsaken place would take him seriously. They all treated him like he was a child, a frightened, helpless little baby, but if those smug Blue leaders saw what he had seen last night, they would be just as horrified, and would not waste time exchanging those all-knowing glares and asking all those stupid questions. As if he hadn't notice.

"Kanou to Homare, what's your situation?" Kanou's deep voice suddenly roared through Homare's communicator and interrupted their conversation.

Kanou was already out of the pit, at the mining site, has been there since even before Ayase woke up, most of the mining teams were already out there with him, and he was helping them settle into their routine.

Homare lost his amused smile and pressed the comm to reply. "We are awaiting Hassan's confirmation of reestablishing control."

"Understood." Kanou replied after breathing out his impatient. "I need you out here. Site fourteen is completely dried up so we have to relocate three teams furthered down, about two hundred meters deeper, and the paths to sites two and eight are in a bad shape, we have to reconstruct them before someone gets killed. I don't want to open a lag so soon. I need you out here."

"Acknowledged." Homare said while Misao turned to contacting Hassan at the Tip.

"Can you give me an ETA?" Kanou pressed on.

"Hassan can you hear me?" Misao tried at his communicator again. "Hassan?"

"Yes, yes sir, I can hear you." Misao's comm. picked up Hassan's transmission from the Tip.

"What's your statue?" Misao asked.

"Fine, we are all fine now, thank you." Hassan answered "We got the computer back up, and the communications, we have gained control on the oxygen and power supply cables and the platforms are operating again."

"Great, that's good news." Misao nodded towards his brother and they both seemed relieved.

"What caused it? Do you know already, by any chance?" Hassan asked.

"Someone had hacked the system, took you down." Homare leaned into his brother's arm and spoke into his comm. "We chased him out and fixed the damage."

"I thought you were the best hackers on 950A." Kanou noted with unhidden sarcasm.

"We are the best, but not the only, sir." Homare answered calmly.

"This is very troubling news." Hassan murmured from his end.

"We want to try and track that hacker down." Homare suggested. "Would take us a few hours, but I think it's worth the time, we should find out who's behind this and what's his next move might be."

"Negative, I need you outside." Kanou rejected the idea bluntly and then corrected himself "Maybe later, in a few days time, but we cannot open a lag at this point."

"On our way." Homare accepted Kanou's orders without further fuss. "Homare's out."

"Hassan, we have to go." Misao said to his comm. "But if anything else pops out, let me know, ok?"

"Sure thing, thank you very much, guys, Hassan's out."

After finishing their conversations, both twins started packing their gear, and while doing so they noticed Ayase again, the boy looked at them in silence, disappointment in his blue eyes.

They had no time for him; no one has ever had time for him.

"I wish you had recorded it, would have helped." Homare sighed "Pressing on that small red button, you know?"

Ayase blushed, he should have done it alright, but his mind was too hazed with sleep deprivation, and the panic ruined whatever was left of his logic. "I'll do it next time."

"If there is a next time, which we hope, will not" Homare smirked and then breathed out. "Look, chances are someone is only trying to mess with us, play a prank, stir up some shit …"

"Which is the easiest thing to do down here." Misao noted dryly.

"So very easy." His twin agreed.

"Easy peasy." Misao concluded.

"I don't know." Ayase admitted with a low voice. "Why would they?"

"Why not?" Homare nearly snorted. "There are some fucked-up sadistic fuckers in 950A, if you hadn't notice yet."

But he did.

And still he didn't buy it.

If someone was just hoaxing them, just messing up with them, how did he get his hands on a white uniform? And who was he working for? What was he hoping to achieve? And why did he sign for Ayase to keep it on the low? Sending his finger to his mouth in a hushing gesture?

"Are we done here?" Misao asked, loading his bag on his back, it wasn't clear if he was talking to Ayase or to his brother.

"Yeah, we're good to go." Homare nodded and turned to look at Ayase again. "I'm sorry but we have to leave. Remember to record it, if it happens again."

"Would be helpful." Misao agreed.

"Sure I will." Ayase mumbled, chills ran down his spine, he was not looking forward to the next encounter.

"And keep it between us, ok?" Homare added "Kanou has enough on his mind already."

"More than enough." Misao agreed.

"Too much." Homare nodded.

"Don't worry, we'll figure this out, and when we know better, we'd report to him ourselves." he assured Ayase with a smile reserved for kids or crazy people or both. Then the Kuba brothers finished picking up their gear and left him, Homare ruffled his hair fondly while passing by.

They walked towards the airlock where Ayase could not follow, so he watched them as they disappeared into darkness, fighting his best to stay calm, not lose his fragile self control again, and start crying out of sheer frustration.

On his first day in, he remembered, the Kuba brothers told him that Kanou knew why he was send into 950A, which only meant that they knew something of it too. Will he ever get to know why was he stuck here in this dark, cold hell hole? What had he done to deserve it? He has never done anything to deserve this!

But the Kuba brothers never bothered sharing that information with him, and he was not brave enough to bring it up, and now there was no time for this, and nobody even cared. Why the fuck should anyone care about a stupid candy anyway? A moment before he let himself wallow again in self pity, he remembered that he wanted to check up on Marcus.

oOOo

If anyone had a more miserable night that him, it was probably Marcus. The poor old man's health was deteriorating with every passing hour, and down here there was not even a decent medical ward where they could treat him. They ended up hooking him to an Oxygen balloon to help him sleep, but Ayase imagined that there was not much sleeping for Marcus last night.

On his way to the infirmary, he bumped into Hall's team as they made final preparations to leave for their mining site, they were the last mining team still in, and none of the men looked very happy, Hall the least. Ayase remembered that Kanou took them off maintenance duty because Tom had managed to put some pressure on him, it was the big show of yesterday, so he was told, he didn't get to see this while it was happening but gossip traveled faster than light at 950A.

"Hey Bailey baby …" Some greeted Hall before Ayase got the chance to do the same; it was a tease more than a greeting, a menacing taunt.

Of course it had to be Tom.

Hall looked up from his open backpack and frowned at the man. "The name is Hall, Tom." he reminded the other.

"Oh, but you'll always be baby Bailey to me…" Tom insisted, smiling.

Hall gave him a cold glare, but the man did not back down. "What do you want?" he finally muttered.

"From you?" Tom ogled him innocently "Nothing sweetie, already got what I wanted from Kanou, thank you very much."

Hall made a ghastly impression of a smile. "So you came here to gloat? Is that it? So very immature."

"No, not to gloat… well, a bit, maybe." Tom answered and sat down on a nearby barrel so he could watch Hall carefully with more comfort. "I got what I wanted from Kanou, alright, but so did you, Hall."

Hall stopped his efforts of packing while ignoring Tom, and raised his eyes to him, narrow with suspicion. "What do you mean?"

Tom nodded and crossed his Tattooed arms on his chest. "Well… we all need to know where we stand from time to time, no? Know our place? It's a healthy thing to do, don't you think? You shouldn't go all top dog on someone if you're the doormat, not a good idea, you get my saying?"

"Not really, I don't." Hall finished packing and started fastening the laces of his bag; he worked as fast as he could so he could get out of there.

"Yes, you do." Tom corrected him. "And now, thanks to me, you know where you stand with Kanou and Zack. You know that they don't give a damn about you. Means that you can stop letting Zack fuck your hole, yeah? Because you get jack shit out of it. You're welcome."

Someone giggled and Hall averted his gaze, taking the blow and trying hard not to let it show, he breathed in like someone who just got sucker punched.

Ayase clenched his fists, wanting so hard to smack Tom's smug face, but what punching him would do? It would only make things worse, would only make Hall look even weaker, if he needed a candy to defend his honor.

While Hall was recovering, Tom looked around and scrutinized Hall's team with a mocking glare. "You all should think about your next move, guys." He told them, mimicking a worried tone. "You've all placed your bet on a losing horse, thinking it will get you a maintenance duty, huh? but you got mining instead."

"Why are you doing this?" one of the men asked wearily, an older man, with his best years behind him. "Why all those fucking games, Tom? Why now? Why downstairs? Can't we just get this shift done without your usual bullshit?"

Tom only shrugged, ignoring the man.

"Use this opportunity to grow some balls, Bailey baby." He said, returning his gaze to Hall. "Do this mining duty like a man, get yourself free from Zack, if you even meant anything to him, he would have backed you up against Kanou, but he didn't, so it is good to know, right? That you'll always be at the bottom of their priority… yeah? Grow up, be the man, fuck a candy, hey, fuck Candy, he'll let anyone fuck him for credit…"

"Stop talking, Tom." Hall mumbled, still crouched on the ground, but it looked like he was going to pounce at any moment.

"Fuck him before Zack does."

"Shut the fuck up!"

"He's such a pretty little thing…and Zack's already looking. Why won't you use your dick for once, huh? Still remember how to, right?"

"Fuck you, Tom!"

"Me? Thanks, but no thanks."

"Get the fuck off my face, or…!"

"Or what, Bailey baby? You ain't liking what you're hearing? It's called the truth… and you know what else is truth? You're getting old, that's the truth, and Zack's gonna find himself a fresh new thing sooner than later, and where would that put you, honey, huh? Time is not your friend…"

He didn't get to finish his last sentence, because Hall jumped him, and before too long they were squabbling on the ground, exchanging blows.

Ayase glared at them horrified, he never saw Hall this wild and desperate before, and Tom was putting up a good fight too, unlike against Kanou, here he had a slight advantage over Hall, and they were tearing each other apart.

"Cut it out!" He found himself screaming, because no one else seemed keen on putting an end to it, they all stood around and watched the fight with jaded glares, "Somebody, please stop them!" he begged again, tears started flowing down his eyes.

After a few moments, Hall's team mates looked up as if woken from a dream and suddenly remembered they had legs and arms, four of them hurried to Tom and Hall, separating them by force, and one came to calm Ayase down.

"Kanou's boy is right." the older man said after checking up on him. "We got no time for this bullshit. Not here! Not downstairs!"

The men dragged Tom and Hall away from each other, and while Tom accepted this, Hall struggled to get free from his captors and return to the fight.

Tom viewed those efforts with a widely smile on his bleeding lips, he also had an ugly cut on his forehead and his nose was busted, blood ran down his face, painting his silver teeth red and dripping down his chin. "Truth hurts, doesn't it, Hall?"

"You got my name right." Hall answered, calming down slowly in the arms of his team mates, he looked just as blooded as Tom, with gushing cuts on his cheeks and eyebrows.

"You both must come with me to the infirmary." Ayase decided, his voice trembled, but his mind was determinate.

"What? I'll pass, we're late." Hall said without even looking his way, someone offered him a towel to press on his cut eyebrow to stop the bleeding. "Come on, let's go." He ordered his team and made the effort to stand up and pick up his equipment again.

"Hey, I'll come with you, sweet pea." Tom smirked at Ayase, making him almost regret his offer.

Hall staggered towards the airlock, along with his team and Ayase realized he was left alone with Tom again, to his disappointment.

"Come…" he mumbled and walked the short distance to the infirmary, trying his best to ignore the man that followed. Nothing was too far away, downstairs; it was a blessing and a curse just the same.

In his station, he found his equipment easily and used some gauze pads dripping with alcohol to clean Tom's face.

"That cut needs stitching." He pointed at a deep gash on Tom's forehead and went looking for his stitching kit.

When he came back, Tom eyes him with suspicious. "Are you sure you know what you're doing, kid?"

"Marcus taught me." Ayase said and Tom flinched as he leaned close by. "Don't worry." Ayase assured him. "I'm not going to hurt you."

"That's reassuring, hey; can I get some codeine when we're done?" Tom asked hopefully.

"I'm not wasting codeine on you. You can have Paracetamol if you must." Ayase said, driving the needle though the skin as gently as he could, bringing the two ripped edges together as neatly as he could, and stitch them together to the best of his ability.

"You're a cold bitch, you know that?"

"And you're vile." Ayase could not help but say, what would Tom do? Beat him up as well?

"Am I vile?" Tom mimicked a hurt voice so very successfully, that Ayase almost believed him. "Am I vile?" he asked again as Ayase finished and took off his gloves. "You're hurting my feelings, sweet pea."

Ayase packed his kit and searched the draws for some Paracetamol. "Here." he shoved two white little pills into Tom's hand. "You can go now."

"Can I have a glass of water?" Tom asked. "Please?" he added as Ayase blinked at him.

Ayase said nothing but found the water jar on the other table and poured some water into a plastic cup.

"Thank you, sweetie." Tom smiled and swallowed the pills with his drink. "I'm not vile." He said when finished.

"So why are you trying to take Kanou down?" Ayase's question came out as a whisper.

"That?" Tom almost laughed at the accusation. "Kings arise and fall all the time, darling, that's the nature of 950A. Kanou had his run, a good run, but still…now I think is my turn. That doesn't make me vile."

"But you are." Ayase insisted, making Tom giggle some more.

"You have a funny way of looking at things, honey, can I give you a little piece of advice? Free of charge, of course, and you'll thank me later…."

Ayase squinted his eyes with disbelief, he should not listen to this man, everything he had ever said was poison, but he admitted to himself that he was curious, and that kept him from walking away.

"Kanou's gone, baby, that's a done deal… don't ask me how I know, but I know. He messed up with the king of 950A and he's not walking out of that shit alive; Elrick's not going to have it. Kanou is dead" Tom repeated "Get used to it, the sooner the better."

"Kanou is stronger than you think." Ayase answered "You're forgetting he put Elrick into a coma the last time they fought."

"Kanou is strong, alright" Tom agreed "but strength alone is not going to cut it, believe me Ayase, I know. There's a situation here and there are only two ways out of it."

"What situation?"

"A situation where I get to be the next Black leader and hand Kanou to Elrick to do with him whatever he fucking pleases or we all end up dead."

"Liar." Ayase breathed.

Tom shrugged "Whatever, Ayase, you don't have to believe me, but things are already set on motion, it's bigger than me, and it is bigger than Kanou. It all ends here, downstairs, so I have no choice on the matter. Either I bring him down, or we are never getting upstairs alive, all of us Blacks, and the poor Blue bastards that were unlucky enough to join this ride. "

"Liar." Ayase insisted. Elrick was not smart enough to tie his own shoes alone, how could he pull off something this big? "You're bluffing; no way is Elrick that clever"

Tom glared at Ayase with surprise and delight "Snarky little thigh… Be careful how you talk about your next master, he doesn't take kindly to disrespect, ask his recently late candy. Anyway, he would not have been the king of 950A if he didn't have some teeth to bite with, would he, sweetheart? Elrick is more than meets the eyes"

"Why are you telling me this? You know I'll tell Kanou, I'll tell him everything." Ayase worked out the words through his trembling mouth; chills ran through his body, he was barely steady on his feet.

Tom didn't blink at this, didn't even consider it a threat, he looked at Ayase as if staring at a rare, odd animal for a long time to make his bones melt. "Will you?" he asked with a smug. "What's your gain here? Look… Ayase…Eventually you're gonna die like the rest of us here, but in the meanwhile, don't you want a run with the king of this rock? It will go along with some perks I assure you."

"I'll die before I let Elrick touch me." Ayase hissed in a low voice.

Tom studied the stubborn beauty for a while and his smile turned into a frown. "Whatever..." He nodded at last "Do that, if you think it makes any difference, Elrick might even appreciate your loyalty, Sweet pea, but I do wonder…"

"Wonder what?" Ayase asked after a short moment of annoying silence.

"I wonder what Kanou had done to earn this, your loyalty, I mean. Why is Kanou your favorite rapist?"

Ayase gasped, all the air got knocked of his lungs.

"I mean, for myself…" Tom continued "I'd kill to have this same loyalty from a candy."

"Get away from me!" Ayase screamed at him. "Go away!"

Tom raised his hands up smiling. "Calm down, honey."

"Get away and never talk to me again!" Ayase said, tears running down his face.

"Well, I won't if we're all dead." Tom agreed smiling but he was backing off slowly all the same. "Cut me some slack, will you? Can't you see I'm trying to save everyone here?"

"Leave." Ayase insisted, whispering.

Tom let his hands down. "Well, thanks for the treatment, see you later." he grinned for the last time, turned his back and got away.

Yet, what did Kanou do to earn his loyalty?

Did he even bother to do anything for it at all?

Was he loyal just because Kanou happened to be the strongest man in the Black team? Was that even loyalty or was it just survivor instincts? A cold, calculated decision? What does it say about him? What kind of a cold bitch he really has become?

What has 950A made out of him?

"Ayase?"

oOOo

Ayase sent a hand to wipe the tears from his face and turned his head to track down the weak voice that has called for him, and then found him on a cot nearby, Marcus.

Next to the bed of the old man was the Blue paramedic, that Ayase first met as his wave leader, and later learned his name- Miguel.

Ayase remembered that he wanted to visit Marcus first thing in the morning, but now it was stretching towards noon, or at least the watch on the wall said it was so, all hours on 950A seemed the same.

Have Marcus and Miguel heard his conversation with Tom? They were close by; at the very least they had heard him screaming at the guy, but did they bother to listen? How much do they pick up?

Fuck it, it doesn't matter now, all that mattered was Marcus.

Ayase took a deep breath and walked towards them.

"Marcus…Hey…" He whispered while reaching the bed, and when close enough he leaned down and gave the old man a quick hug.

"I have to go." Miguel interrupted them with unease "Homare needs me outside. Have you made up your mind yet? What would it be?"

"Both options suck." Marcus smiled weakly at the blue team member. "Morphine would put me out like a candle and Insulin would be like blowing on a cinder."

"Sorry, but that's all I got."

"I know, Miguel, you're a good fella, I know."

"I must go."

"Fuck it…" Marcus whispered "Morphine it is. I've been stuck here long enough to deserve it, have I?"

"Yes, you have." The paramedic said, and started preparing the syringe.

"I can have this once, passing time getting high."

"Yes, you can, you've earned it." Miguel conformed and injected the morphine into Marcus IV bag. When he was done, he patted the old man's shoulder. "Enjoy, and don't forget to put back the oxygen mask."

"Thanks, man." And a sudden smile lit up Marcus's face, as the substance traveled down the tube and entered his bloodstream "Boy…Morphine is the best, I should have done this a lot sooner…"

"Ayase." Miguel nodded towards him and then departed, leaving Marcus and Ayase to themselves.

Ayase sat down on a chair next to the cot, and both he and Marcus studied each other for a while.

Marcus looked like a ghost of his former self, weaker, skinnier, his eyes had sunken, his lips had turned blue and his skin faded to grey.

"You look like shit." Marcus said, breaking the silence and Ayase could not help it and burst into a nervous giggle. "I mean it, candy-boy, you are the prettiest thing 950A has to offer, you should take a better care of yourself."

Ayase lowered his gaze and send a hand into his hair, trying to smooth his blonde locks without even realizing it. "Sorry." He managed to mumble after a while.

"For your own good." Marcus continued "Your looks is the only thing going for you around here, you cannot neglect it. You must eat well, sleep well and stay out of trouble."

"Yes, dad." Ayase whispered and it made Marcus shudder with a surprising violence to it.

"I'm not your daddy." Marcus corrected him quickly and coldly, and then looked up to the pale white lights on the wall. "My child is longtime dead and gone." He added with a low moan.

"I'm sorry." Ayase said and tears started flowing down his face again. "I didn't mean to… it was supposed to be a joke…"

"It's alright, kid, it's alright…" Marcus sent his hand searching and finding Ayase's to squeeze. "I'm too hard on you all the time, am I? It's unfair, but here, I'd listen… why are you so shaken up?"

"A long story." Ayase sighed.

"Do I look like I'm in some kind of hurry? I got my bed and my blanket and my morphine… I've got all the time in the world. What's eating you up? Is that Tom? Ignore him, he's an asshole."

"It's this place." Ayase answered rapidly, because it was an easy question. "It's like every time I think I got it figured out, every time I hope I understand enough to survive here, then it throws another punch at me to knock me out. This place is horrible, and dark and cruel and lonely."

"Downstairs has got to you, huh? Don't give yourself a hard time over it, it's your first time down, it will get easier."

Ayase shook his head, tears falling to the concrete floor. "No, it won't." he almost wept, talking.

"No, it won't." Marcus agreed and took a deep breath, gaping into the blank space.

This place will kill him, first his soul, then his body and finally his mind. If only he had the courage to take that blue pill when he had the chance, but he had wasted it, and now that pill is hidden, tucked away in a hideout upstairs, so far out of reach.

He hid it because he wanted to live and it was too tempting to keep it on hand, but now this business with Tom and the Red king of 950A, it was too much, but also too late.

"950A is just a tiny ice cold rock in space." Marcus continued "but the ones living here had made it into a fuming, boiling hell. Cannot believe I've lasted for almost 15 years… but I'm nearly done now, so…I guess no one trumps the statistics."

Another cold wave of anxiety washed all over Ayase's already exhausted body. "No, don't say it, you cannot die!" he pleaded with a breathy moan. "I need you! You can't leave me here all alone."

Marcus smiled at this, closing his eyes to the pale light. "Unless someone on this rock figures out how to grow me a new heart and transplants it, it is safe to say I have weeks, months at best. I don't mind going, though, I did my time." He looked so serene, Ayase nearly envied him.

"Please Marcus, don't leave me here alone." He pleaded again, knowing this was totally selfish and highly illogical to beg for. "I don't know how to live here without you."

"If you want to survive this place, you'd better find a better incentive than me, Candy-boy." Marcus mumbled, smiling. "Something within your most inner core of being, something unwavering that does not depend on outer circumstances; something that will not falter no matter what shit is thrown your way."

"Like what?"

"I don't know, Ayase, it's a private thing."

"What is yours?"

"Mine?" Marcus chuckled and averted his eyes to stare into Ayase's, and the boy blushed.

Maybe he crossed a line, maybe this was too personal.

"Mine…" Marcus eased into his bed, averting his gaze again, staring into the emptiness of space above him. "Mine's no good." He concluded.

"I'm sorry."

"But if you insist, I might as well… nothing left to protect anyway. You want to know the reason I managed to survive 15 years here? The reason I got up for the line up every fucking morning? The reason I bowed my head to thugs and bullies and even sucked a cock every now and then when necessary… that reason, yeah?

"Yes…" Ayase whispered.

"Well, that's an easy one, boy, I did all this, swallowed every piece of crap that 950A shoved down my throat and smiled and begged for more because I deeply, honestly, truthfully believed that I've earned it. It was I who rose against the Union, it was I who fought to get the truth out about what was going on the Led type planet I was assigned to, and it was I who got my family killed, so there you have it, my reason. Every time things got rough around here, all I needed to do is remember my wife's and daughter's bodies, lying in a puddle of blood on the floor, remember their blank, dead eyes, their limp, cold flesh and know- that my time here was well deserved and awfully due."

Ayase gasped, and then fell into silence, letting Marcus's words sink in, and they were cold and heavy as led, and as much poisonous. He had no idea of when and how to respond.

"I was a naïve, pretentious bugger." Marcus continued after a while "Thinking that I had an obligation as a doctor to fight the noble fight, thinking that if I spill the beans, I'd make the difference. If I let people know how the Union deliberately designed damaged, degenerate humans to stock up the ranks of the lowest, demeaning jobs on Led worlds, they'd rise up against it and do something to rectify this horrible injustice. But no, not Gold, nor the Silver or the Copper took any note of it, not a ripple in the puddle, everyone walked by on their marry way, and my beloved wife and child paid with their lives for it. Told you, it wasn't a good one…"

Ayase sobbed softly, crumpled on his chair, and Marcus looked at him, long and hard before speaking again.

"I'm sorry Ayase, please forgive me, I didn't mean to burden you with my load. This cannot be helpful to you in any way, you look like someone who cannot hurt a fly, and you're so very young, I bet you did nothing wrong to get here."

"I… No… They've said I was a traitor but… I've done nothing…. Really, nothing… " Ayase struggled to answer through his sobs.

"Then it is obvious that someone who loves you had done damage to the Union, enough to make them suffer by knowing that you were put here for their fault."

"What?"

"That's how the Union operates, Ayase, same as me and my family. Think about it, who could it be? Who cares about you enough to get affected by your suffering?"

"Everyone I know is dead." Ayase said in dismay.

Marcus shrugged. "Well, someone must be alive and under the pressure of your imprisonment, that's how many candies end up here."

"My father is dead, my aunt, my grandmother, my pet goldfish…"

"Whoever he or she might be, they may think that you are already dead as well."

Aren't we all? Ayase thought but said nothing.

"If you wish to go on living, son, you must find your reason, something to carry you on through this hell. What would it be? "

Ayase shook his head.

"Well, it'd better be something solid if you want to beat the one year statistic for candies. If you're heading for the long run, like Hall…"

But that was it, wasn't it? He wasn't sure if he had wanted this at all.

And there was the whole Tom situation, not to be ignored.

"Thank you, Marcus, I'll have to think about it. I hope you get well." Ayase got up and patted the old man's shoulder. "Thanks for the talk."

"Yeah, yeah… candy-boy, now leave me alone."

oOOo

What would it be? What should it be? Is there any reason for it at all? Surviving 950A for what? For whom? Just for spite?

Kanou, Zack, Hall, Homare, Misao, what was their motivation? What kept them going? Candy, Juju, Gion… what made them get up every morning and continue their run? Like hamsters on their wheel, running and running just to stay in place.

Was there any reason at all? Or was it just a habit?

At the afternoon the firsts injured came in, arriving with minor cuts and bruises, from a rockslide in one of the mine sites, so he assisted Miguel in treating them, then the Blue paramedic went out again.

Later came some mining teams who had finished their shift for that day, most of which, Ayase did not know, but Hall's team. He tried to talk to him, but Hall ignored his approach.

Dinner he ate alone, he refused Tom's invitation to join his team for company.

In that evening, he went into the showers, but found Hall fucking Candy over there, so he hurried to retreat, and when he tried again, he found Tom and two of his men there, fucking Candy as well, so he figured out that there would be no shower for him that night.

Kanou never showed up, and neither Zack or the Kuba brothers.

He visited Marcus again, but found the man sleeping, so he let him rest undisturbed and crawled into his own sleeping bedroll instead.

It was late, the lights faded from bright white to soft orange, and the few people in the pit had settled in for the night. Soon nothing but snores and mechanical hums had disturbed the eerie silence of the pit.

Yet, Ayase's mind was far from quiet, he had so many thoughts running amok in his brain, crushing into each other, falling and getting up to run again. Who was that person suffering from him being imprisoned in 950A? He never thought he had mattered to anyone, at least not so much to be placed here as a punishment to the other. Did Kanou know that person? What else Kanou knew and hid from him?

Better let it go, for the sake of his sanity, for the sake of sleep.

He opened his tablet to see if his Spook was doing any good tonight, but it was nowhere to be found, and he didn't know if he was relived or disappointed for it.

So cold.

Ayase borrowed into his blankets, but could not chase away the chill. It was a relentless presence so alive and intimate, like a person breathing down his neck and it was going to win over in time, freeze his heart, and wipe out all humanity out of him, until nothing is left but a beautiful unattached doll, like Candy, probably.

Sleep would not come.

Sleep never came to him easily, and in 950A it was even harder, more difficult to lure it into an empty bed.

He battled the need for a while, but could not resist it for much longer. He needed to hear that voice, just this once, just a few words of comfort, maybe it would help him sleep.

He considered the prons and cons for a while before giving up and pressing the number on his communicator, 83.

"This subscriber number is currently offline." An automated response informed him.

Again, 83.

"This subscriber number is currently offline."

Again?

"This subscriber number is currently offline."

Ayase gave up and cried himself to sleep.