CH 6: Elephant In The Room

"She's Alive!" Frankie answered jokingly. "Ma been ringing you off the hook?"

"Yeah, she went to my apartment I guess."

"Told you she would. She came back in a fit. I told her you probably went to stay at Maura's and not to worry, but you know how she is."

Jane paused; she couldn't help her mouth from hanging slightly agape. Maura's furrowed eyebrows gave her a questioning look.

"How uh did you know I would go to Maura's?"

Maura couldn't hide the smirk. She took the fork Jane was still clutching and began to slice the tenderloin.

"Where else would you go? Anyway, she just wants to know you're not lying in some ditch or passed out in a bar. You know she actually sent Pop by the Robber to see if you were there" Frankie's voice sounded very amused.

Where else would you go? What the…Am I that obvious!

"Just talk to her Janie…hold on…"

"Frankie! Frankie don't you give Ma the…."

"Jane!" Angela's voice blared into her ear.

Frankie, I swear to God I'm gonna kill you.

"Ma….hey…."

Maura turned around; she tried to give Jane a look of empathy. Jane motioned as if she was wrapping a noose around her neck and then stuck her tongue out in a pantomime of having just been booted off the gallows.

"Janie, I was worried" The concern in Angela's voice was genuine, Jane couldn't deny that; she held back commenting waiting for the inevitable guilt trip Angela would use to sucker an apology out of her.

Angela continued, "I know I can be overbearing…"

Wait, this is new. Jane was slightly caught off guard, "Ma, I don't think you're overbea…"

"Don't lie to me Janie, I may be getting up in age but I'm not totally oblivious. I'm overbearing! I know it. And it gets on your nerves. It gets on your father and Frankie's nerves too; they just have a little more patience with me or maybe they're better at tuning me out" Angela laughed, "But I only do those things because I love you. And I worry. I'm your mother. Mothers worry. If you ever have kids some day, you'll worry. Anyway, Frankie said you probably went to stay at Maura's but I just wanted to know for sure...that you were somewhere safe."

"Yeah, I'm at Maura's. She went back to work today, I mostly just slept and watched tv." Jane was trying to play it nonchalant.

"Ok, I promise I'll try not to bother you for the rest of the week. Don't sigh at me with that tone of voice! I will! I'll try…to give you some space. But it would be nice if you came for family dinner on Sunday. And you should bring Maura."

Jesus Christ. "Yeah, Sunday dinner, that sounds…good, I'll check with Maura…she might have plans or something. Ok, bye Ma."

Jane let out a hefty sigh and braced backwards against the counter. She slowly sucked her lower lip between her teeth and made a nervous clicking sound as her eyes wandered from the floor up the length of Maura's body to her face.

"I take it we're invited to Sunday dinner?"

Jane nodded.

"I won't go…If you think it will be easier on you to talk to your mother without me."

Jane took a deep breath. She kept her eyes trained on Maura, searching her face for some kind of clue as to whether she wanted to go to dinner or not. It was not lost on Jane that this was probably the first relationship she'd been in where she was seriously concerned about saying something that might hurt the other's feelings.

Maura sensed Jane's struggle. Walking forward she gently took Jane's hand and looked into her eyes with a warm smile. Maura had such beautiful eyes; those green and gold flecks sprinkled through the hazel backdrop were Jane's kryptonite. It almost bordered on unsettling, because Maura rarely shied from looking someone in the eye, least of all Jane. And those eyes, they reached deep inside, burrowed into her, and Jane let them, gave them that access. People try to hide, deflect, lie in so many ways; with their words, with their voice, with their body language, with their eyes. But, not Maura. Her eyes were always open; they gave everything to the receiver. And while that complete and unapologetic honesty could at times be unnerving sometimes there was nothing more needed, more grounding than silence spent locked into those eyes. They gave Jane the answer.

"I want you to come to dinner. It may be awkward, and I really have NO idea how this is all going to go down…but I think actually, I'll feel stronger with you there. So, whadya say Maur? Shall we make it a 'my big fat coming out party' Rizzoli style?"

Maura smiled, "There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

The looming dinner date tore a hole in the space-time continuum and created some kind of time travel wormhole sucking the remaining days of the week into a vortex of never to be seen again. At least, Jane was pretty sure that's how it all worked in that one Star Trek episode she'd seen. And clearly that's what had happened because here she was, 6am Sunday morning lying wide awake staring up at the ceiling through the black void of Maura's bedroom. She had barely slept a wink all night. The sun was just starting to creep in the window through the sheer curtains, it was laughing at her. Taunting. Pointing. Mocking.

Maura was still asleep, the diffused light washing incrementally over her. Jane watched as her eyelids started to flutter. She rolled over to lie face to face with her and ran her hand through Maura's hair as she started to stir. This was one of the unexpected but pleasant surprises of dating a woman she thought, the hair. Jane really enjoyed running her hands through Maura's hair; Maura's hair teasing her face and neck when they kissed was even better, its dulcet perfume swirling through the air when a draft rustled through it. It was sensual in a way Jane never expected it to be.

Time seemed to have no meaning, no structure for the day. Jane sat on the bed as Maura poured over her closet. The urge to tell her just to pick something, anything, just pick it, get in the shower let's get dressed and go was gnawing at Jane. She held back. Maura finally emerged holding two outfits; she hung them on the back of the door facing into the bedroom.

"I can't decide. I'm going to get in the shower, you decide which one you want me to wear." Maura disappeared into the bathroom.

Jane let her legs dangle off the bed. She stared at the two outfits. This is a trick question isn't it? Royal blue dress with some kind of black and grey abstract watercolor type design with a black belt and part…of a sweater. No, those things have a name, she chastised me the last time I called it her 'mostly sweater'…it's a…shrug! That's it, shrug. Ok, blue dress with black belt and black shrug…or. Dark Tan-Brownish colored pants with a pink…no, not pink, 'mauve' stripe and a white scoopy-neck type sweater. Jesus Christ why does she want me to choose?

Jane could hear the whirring of the hair dryer from the bathroom.

Maura emerged clad only in a white towel, the corner deftly tucked to hold it up. She'd dried her hair but not styled it yet, sections of it fluttered untamed as she walked towards Jane.

"Did you decide?"

"No." Jane was starting to feel flushed; she struggled to keep her eyes from roaming down Maura's figure, only slightly concealed by the towel.

She's never going to make it through the night with this much tension, Maura thought.

Maura was feeling bold. She approached Jane, hiked up the towel slightly and straddled her lap. She could hear the hitch in Jane's breath. Lifting Jane's chin she kissed her.

Jane's taught neck muscles started to give way as Maura worked her hands around her jawline and down into the muscle. She broke off the kiss. "I just want to look nice, and appropriate for dinner with your family."

"You look good in anything Maur."

"But, I want you to feel as comfortable as possible. That's why I thought I'd let you choose. What do you want me to wear Jane?"

Jane glanced towards the two outfits once more and then back to Maura. She didn't try to hide staring at Maura's chest this time. How the towel hugged her breasts, the crease between them. The rise and fall of her chest as she inhaled and exhaled. She brought her hand up and let it run down one side of Maura's collarbone and up the other, back down and then one finger teased its way down to the towel but Jane let it rake back up to Maura's neck. Jane leaned forward and placed a couple of chaste kisses where her hand had just teased.

"To be honest, right now, I'm really liking the looks of this towel." Jane's voice was gruff, almost short of breath. Now she looked up to make eye contact with Maura.

Maura felt like she was standing on a precipice. She had waited for this moment. She wanted this more than anything. She didn't want to jump too soon. But if this whole process of discovery with Jane had taught her anything it was that sometimes you just have to leap. With the flick of her wrist the towel collapsed into a crumpled ball on the floor.

Jane placed her hands on Maura's hips; her breathing was accelerating. My God, she's gorgeous. Hold it together Rizzoli, don't hyperventilate and pass the fuck out.

Maura was what the five senses were meant for. The sight of her: perfection, Jane's eyes wanted to drown in her. The feel of her: warm, her supple skin like cream she let one hand trail down from her hip to lightly caress the top of Maura's ass. Her smell: like fresh linen and mint. Her taste: intoxicating, there wasn't anywhere Jane didn't want to taste her. The sound: of Maura's breath, rhythmic, reassuring, most of all, Jane wanted to hear Maura Isles call out her name as they made love.

"Jane…" Maura's voice was almost a whisper, "…before we go tonight, I want you to experience everything I have to give you. I want you to know without a doubt, this is what you want, that I'm what you want, that…"

Jane interrupted her, "Maura…don't take this the wrong way…" Maura cocked her head, the hurried and heavy thrumming of her heart was becoming almost painful, she braced herself.

Jane continued, "…but, be quiet and help me get my shirt off."

Maura pulled Jane into another kiss laced with all the passion and longing she had been waiting to unleash. Reaching down she helped Jane remove her arm on the good side first, then in one fleet motion pulled the shirt over her head off her other arm and discarded it with the towel on the floor. She wrapped her arms around Jane and pulled her in close, Jane's bare breasts against her own the beat of one of their hearts, maybe both almost deafening. Maura nuzzled Jane's face her breath delicately teasing her ear and neck. She paused.

"Don't…stop…" Jane pleaded.

Maura started to knead at Jane's breasts, a short quick kiss, Maura was beset by an unexpected bout of insecurity, "I…don't laugh at me, I, I've never…with a woman."

Jane moved back further on the bed, grabbing Maura's hand she pulled her along and repositioned Maura back on top of her. Jane intertwined her hands in Maura's hair and in between reassuring kisses, "Wing It….It's not rocket science."

Maura began working her way down Jane's body; meticulously and precisely she didn't want to leave any square inch of her untouched, unkissed. She toyed with Jane's nipples with her fingers then her tongue and teeth, "Oh God…" Jane groaned burrowing one hand deeper into Maura's hair the other clawing at her back. Maura arrived at the bullet wound, she ran her hand over Jane's stomach and ribs as she kissed and sucked on the bruised skin around the incision. Jane arched her back, growling, a sensation of pleasure from pain she could feel a heat rising up from between her legs.

"Maur…a…" she could barely get the words out, Maura was working her like no one before, "…lower, please."

Maura complied; she let her nails drag frustratingly slow from Jane's hips all the way down the length of her legs as she removed her pants and underwear in one fluid motion. Jane spread her legs and gripped tightly to the sheets, anchoring herself. Maura kept teasing her, mixing kisses with small nibbles on Jane's inner thigh. The sight of Jane's arousal made Maura burn, she couldn't draw it out any longer. She settled in between Jane's legs and let her tongue flick over the area, swollen, warm, wet with desire Jane couldn't stop a primal moan from clawing its way out. She rolled her hips in Maura's direction matching Maura's rhythm. It didn't take long; Jane screamed as she climaxed, Maura's mouth riding her out. It wasn't that the room was spinning, but that Jane's eyes couldn't focus on the spacially orienting objects around her. Jane's hips and back plummeted back to the bed, her chest heaving as she fought for air. She released her vice grip on the sheets and reached out groping in her near blindness for Maura. As much as her lower half had ached for Maura's touch her hands now begged to wrap around her lover.

Maura crawled up her torso as Jane grabbed and pulled her urgently down on top of her. Burying her face in Maura's neck she licked and kissed at the pulsing vein, Maura's breath was ragged; Jane could feel every breath, every swallow. Maura moved to take Jane's lips and give Jane a taste of herself.

"I need you…" she breathed into Jane's mouth as she started to rock her hips against Jane's body.

Jane let Maura struggle against her for a few moments, "Not so much fun when you're the one being teased" Jane laughed, running her hands over Maura's entire body, everywhere but where Maura wanted them. Maura placed her hands on the bed on either side of Jane's face and leveraged herself up as she continued to thrust against Jane seeking relief. Jane took in the sight, Maura's abs contracting, tiny beads of sweat forming all over, her breasts so close to Jane's face she reached up and cupped them, Maura looked down at her with pleading eyes. Jane acquiesced and let her hand travel down; she slid two fingers in. Maura closed her eyes, "Mmmmm". Jane added a third finger causing Maura to inhale sharply. Her rhythm quickened, Maura wasn't sure how much longer she could hold herself up. Finally she had her release as she shouted Jane's name, exhausted her arms buckled and she sank into Jane's body. Jane wrapped her arms around her and stroked her hair.

Angela opened the door.

"Sorry we're a little late Ma…uh, Maura had a um, wardrobe crisis" Jane could barely keep her composure as she said it.

"Well, you look lovely Maura. That's a very pretty dress…" Maura smiled and thanked Angela for the compliment.

"…Janie, you on the other hand could have at least bothered to take an iron to your trousers."

Now it was Maura who had to hold back a smirk, "I offered to iron them for her, she wouldn't have it."

"No, I'm sure not. I think she must be allergic to wrinkle-free clothing" Angela replied as she moved back into the kitchen to check on the food.

Jane and Maura joined Frank and Frankie Jr. in the living room. Small talk passed the time until dinner. Jane became more nervous as the evening went on. She was starting to wonder if an appropriate time to pull her mother aside was going to arise and if it did, if she would be able to go through with it. Maura reached under the table several times to place a soothing hand on Jane's compulsively tapping knee. Jane gave Maura's hand a squeeze, it was better that she was there. Jane monitored her mother's alcohol intake. Angela wasn't a drinker like the rest of the family but she'd usually partake of a couple of glasses wine during a family dinner. She'd had two. Enough to loosen her up but not too much Jane ascertained.

When dinner was over Frank and Frankie Jr retired back to the living room to check the game scores.

"Mrs. Rizzoli, that was delicious!" Maura started to help clear away the table.

"Please, call me Angela. I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"Maur, you don't have to help clean, I'll help Ma get all this to the kitchen. It sounds like Pop and Frankie are getting pretty in to the game why don't you go make sure Frankie doesn't over extend himself" Maura picked up on Jane's hint and excused herself.

Jane helped tote the rest of the dishes and leftovers to the kitchen. She was visibly nervous.

"Janie…is everything ok? You don't seem quite yourself" Angela moved to stand next to her daughter. Jane quit fidgeting with rinsing the dishes.

"Yeah, Ma, actually everything is fine, it's just…we need to talk." Angela had a slightly worried look on her face.

"First off, I owe you an apology…for being such a bitch at the hospital and once we got home…"

"Janie, I already told you not to worry about that, I know that I was probably driving you crazy…"

"No Ma, that's just it, it wasn't anything to do with you. It was, dammit, I really don't know how to say this so I'm just going to say it. You walked in on Maura kissing me in the hospital…"

Angela's eyes got wide, "Oh, OH!"

Jane picked back up before her mother could say anything else, "…and Maura sorta freaked out and didn't come back to the hospital or even call, and then I got scared because I thought she was avoiding me and that's why I was so irritable, well more irritable than I usually am anyway." Ok, so far so good. She hasn't started crying, or screaming, nothing's been thrown… "Ma, why didn't you…say anything about that?"

Angela paused momentarily, "After they brought you back from surgery Maura sat on the bed holding your hand and staring at you for hours. I had to bring her something to eat and drink, she wouldn't move. She cried, all day, probably all night. Later that evening I came in and she was lying in the bed, crying on your shoulder and stroking your cheek. She didn't see me, so I snuck back out. The next day I walked in and she had her hand over your chest…" Angela motioned to place her hand over her heart, "…and she leaned down and kissed you on the forehead. She didn't hear me coming so I backed out and made a little more noise before entering. So…to be perfectly honest when I walked in on…that, it wasn't too surprising I guess. And I figured, that if you wanted to talk about it, or if there was something you wanted to tell me…that you would, when you were ready. I'm your mother Jane, I want you to know that you can always talk to me." Angela stopped, she looked expectantly at her daughter; the ball was in her court.

The feeling of relief was instantaneous; Jane was struggling to hold back uncharacteristic tears she felt starting to burn behind her eyes. She didn't want to cry but the stress of getting to this moment had become so overwhelming. She gave in and threw her arms around her mother. The gesture caught Angela by surprise, but she embraced her daughter.

"Maura and I…we're together" she choked out through strangling tears.

Angela pulled her daughter's face back to look into her eyes, "Now, that wasn't so hard, was it? You know your father and I already had this conversation…"

Invisible brakes came screeching to a halt in Jane's head, "Wait…talked to Pop? About me and Maura?"

"Yeah…" Angela looked at her daughter quizzically, "…well before the hospital, that just sort of seemed to seal the deal I guess you'd say."

Jane started to laugh, "Ma, Maura and I weren't together before then, this is…uh, recent. That was the first time we kissed, when you walked in."

"Really? Well you could have fooled us."

"So, wait, all this time you and Pop have talked about me being…gay? And you never said anything, and the whole time you were trying to fix me up with any and every man you could find? Ma, I swear, sometimes I don't know what to make of you."

"Janie, I think the feeling is mutual" They both laughed.

"Jane, your father and I figured if it was, then it was and you'd tell us when you were ready. You're our daughter. We love you, no matter what. And Maura…well, we think Maura's great, and you've been happier since you've known her and if you're happy, then we're happy. That's really all we want for you Jane, we just want you to be happy."

Jane smiled at her mother, a smile of relief and liberation. She wasn't sure she'd ever felt as close to her mother as she did in that moment. Angela smiled back with genuine love and acceptance.

They walked back into the living room together. Frank was in his recliner, Frankie Jr on the sofa with Maura next to him he was trying to explain the flagged play to her. Jane plopped onto the sofa next to her, as close as she could get without actually sitting on Maura. Maura looked at her and Jane gave her a big smile. "I told you" Maura mouthed silently. Jane took her hand and laced her fingers through Maura's as they leaned back on the sofa. Frankie glanced over and a slight smile crept onto his face as he peeped the two holding hands. Jane caught her brother's eye; he nodded with approval and turned his attention back to the game.

So, this is it, Jane thought. And evidently, I was the last to know. Some detective, she laughed to herself.