(A/N) I was inspired by the promo right after the first episode… y'know, the one for In Too Deep? Warning: THIS IS NOT A HAPPY FIC. Yes, I put Eclare in the summary because I think it counts, but remember, this isn't fluffy and full of bunnies like most of my other Eclare stuff. Turn back now if you don't want to read something kind of depressing.

Dear Clare,

You will never read this letter. At least, I don't plan on you ever reading it. See, I'm writing this to get out my feelings, my emotions. Everyone always says to use your words to express, which is exactly what I'm doing.

That first day, when I saw you, I couldn't help but think how beautiful you are. How innocent, how sweet, like some perfect apple hanging on a tree that I want to pluck. Then I'd sink my teeth into you, savoring the breaking of your skin as juice gushes into my mouth.

Is that an analogy of a crazy person? Because I'm sort of wondering if that's what I am.

Crazy in love, I used to think. When I see you, I need you. I need to be with you, need to feel your lips pressing against mine and if I don't… I just kind of lose it. I argue and fight and press, but I just need that feeling, that feeling of security that you bring me.

You say that I scare you. Are my emotions too much for you to handle? You stuck with me for so long, I can't believe you would ever turn your back on me like that. You're too perfect, too angelic to do a deed so wrong to someone like me.

Clare, I just love you. I love you so much. It isn't about the way you look or your brain. It's about how you make me feel better, like it'll be okay. When you smile at me, so warmly, I feel like I'm not worthless. Like I'm not just some freak. You heal me Clare, you make me better.

I've tried to imagine letting you go. You're like my butterfly, trapped inside a little cage. You're so fragile, and even though I want you to be happy, I need to hold onto your beauty for just a moment more. That's what I always say. "Just a moment more." But really, I need you for an eternity.

I need you to need me too. We're meant to be together Clare. You didn't run away screaming like Julia did. The fight we got into… it's too much like the ones we're having. She said I need to be my own person, that I'm just not the same anymore. But you didn't mind as much as she did.

You love me, too, Clare. I can see it in your eyes, that even though I may be frightening to you, I am still something special. Or else you would have let me go sooner. Because you did not, I finally figured something out. You are meant for me. You're mine.

Mine.

You see, Clare, I'm a hoarder. And all hoarders have that one special thing, their prized possession. That's what you are to me, and I will never let you go. Ever.

If I let you go, who's to say someone else won't pick you up again? Someone else may notice your ability to soothe, someone like Fitz who may need it even more than me. He'll cradle you in his arms, the way that I cradle you now, even when you try to break away.

You can't break away from me, Clare. I need you too much. I love you too much.

It's all just too much.

I've always been like this. I've always needed attention from people, and I'm not sure why. I can't be happy on my own. I need someone else to give that joy to me.

That's something you do, Clare. You hug me, and you hold me, and everything seems perfect, even when it's not. And then I hold you, and you sigh, and I just glow. You make me glow.

And I know I need to give you space. But it's like I just can't.

I'm in too deep. I know that, and apparently, you've finally figured it out. You're something I crave more than my own life, and if I lose you, I will lose myself. You are what makes me who I am. You are my reason for living, Clare.

Please don't give up on me. I need you.

Please need me too.

Yours forever, Eli

(A/N) Don't hate me. Honestly, I'm kinda surprised we aren't seeing more fics like this because lets face it, Eli's acting like a creeper, which absolutely breaks my heart :(