In depth plot summary: Miley and Lily are having a same sex relationship, but pretty soon, Oliver starts to feel left out. Miley and Lily agree to spend more time with him. Oliver insists he doesn't have feelings for them, but once Oliver gets involved in the frenzy, suddenly some new sparks start to fly. You'll be surprised :). Meanwhile, Jackson feels really disgusted one morning when he wakes up from an erotic dream about Miley. Jackson's friends, Coop, Max, and Thor, try to help him figure out the meaning of the dream.

Disclaimer: The document you are about to read is a parody. The writer of the document is not associated with Hannah Montana or Disney channel in any way. Little or none of the content of this fanfic is from any episode of the show. Anyway, IT'S JUST A FANTASY!

Chapter 1: "An Apology Gone Crazy"

Miley and Lily had been dating for two months, and they were really enjoying it! They never thought it could be so fun to have a same sex relationship. The best part was, they weren't even embarrassed about it. They had been holding hands in public. At the mall, at school, and while walking barefoot down the beach. At the beach, they had sat down at Rico's while sharing a cup of punch with two straws in it. In an ice cream parlor, they were licking and biting the same cone! Outside of a private hotel, they were in bikini's in a hot tub; making out while squeezing each other's boobs.

One time, Miley walked into her room and was surprised to see something beautiful on her bed. It was a pink stuffed rabbit, a heart shaped box of chocolates, and a card. The signature on the card read "Love Lily xoxoxoxo." Not only did Miley enjoy eating the chocolates, but she loved the stuffed rabbit too. She cuddled it and kissed it just like she would do with Lily.

Miley and Lily texted each other when they weren't together. One time at school, Lily texted Miley "I luv u sweetie." Miley sighed blissfully with her hand over her heart at that text. Then, Miley decided to get a little provocative. Miley texted Lily "I want 2 suck your boobs!" Lily burst into hysterical laughter at that. She also thought, Say, that's not a bad idea!

They had gone to the movie theaters together quite a bit too, watching chick flicks. Although the movies were about opposite sex couples, they still loved them. After all, they used to watch those kinds of movies together all the time when they were straight. One thing they liked to do at the movies was intimately feed each other popcorn. It did get on people's nerves a bit, but they didn't care. Whenever they went to see horror movies, they would scream at the scary parts and then turn to each other for comfort; and quite often that comfort involved kissing. Now that really got on people's nerves!

One time, Miley and Lily were watching T.V. at Miley's house. Jackson came into the room and intentionally farted at them. Miley and Lily were pretty disgusted, as usual, and Jackson laughed. But then, Lily got an idea. She whispered it to Miley, then the two of them started kissing in front of Jackson! That grossed out Jackson so much that he ran out of the room. Ha ha! Revenge!

Finally, since Robbie Ray was mostly letting Miley do what she wanted now, Miley had been having sex with Lily in her room. They did new things they didn't do the first time they had sex. Lily took the "I want to suck your boobs" suggestion to heart, and they took turns sucking each other's nipples. One thing they wanted to do was use a strap on dildo to pretend one of them was a guy (after all, they did still like guys). Unfortunately, they didn't have access to those because they weren't old enough to get into an adult store. They rubbed their butts in each other's faces, and it didn't take too long for them to give each other oral sex.

One day, Miley was at school. She and a few other girls were crowded around another girl listening to her talk. Miley was surprised the girls were nice enough to let her in with the group.

"I swear, some guys are so cocky!" said the girl who was talking. "Some are so cocky, they carry around mirrors!"

"A guy carrying around a mirror? That's gay" said Miley with a ridiculing smile as she waved her hand down. Miley then walked up to Lily, who was digging through her locker. Miley tapped her on the shoulder and Lily turned around. Miley kissed her on the lips while making an intimate verbal noise.

Suddenly, two people who they would rather not see showed up: Amber and Ashley.

"EWWWWWWW!" said Amber and Ashley at the same time.

"You're pretty gay yourself, Stewart!" said Amber.

"Yeah, you too, Truscot!" said Ashley. Miley and Lily never tried really hard to keep their relationship a secret, because they really weren't embarrassed about it. They knew this day would come, but they were totally prepared.

"No" said Miley. "Gay is what you would call two guys. We're girls!"

"Yeah," said Lily. "I believe the proper word you're looking for is 'lesbian'."

"And we're not even that!" said Miley. "We're actually more...bisexual!" Miley paused, then turned to Lily.

"You are bi, aren't you?" asked Miley.

"Of course!" said Lily.

"You are both such losers!" said Amber.

"Yeah! None of the cool girls do that!" said Ashley.

Suddenly, this little confrontation was interrupted. An unexpected person tapped Miley on the shoulder from behind. Miley turned around, and was surprised to see Becka Weller!

"Hi, Miley" said Becka.

Wow, Miley hadn't seen her for two years! The last time she saw her, Becka Weller had a crush on Oliver, and Miley/Hannah had meddled with them. It was a shame things ultimately didn't work out with them. But at this very moment, it was surprisingly comforting to see her!

"Becka?" said Miley smiling. "Becka Weller?"

Becka nodded. "From middle school?" said Miley.

"Yeah!" said Becka. "Um...Miley, listen...um...I couldn't help but notice...and...um..." Becka's voice trailed off, then she blurted out in a really exited tone "WILL YOU GIVE ME A KISS TOO?"

Whoa! Miley wasn't expecting this! Miley really savored the moment. Not because someone else besides Lily and Oliver took an interest in her, but because she was able to prove Amber and Ashley wrong. Ashley said that none of the cool girls kissed other girls, but Becka Weller was clearly one of the cool girls. In Miley's three years of middle school, every year, Amber and Ashley made what they called a "Cool List", which ranked every student from coolest to least cool. Miley memorized some of it by heart, and every year, Amber and Ashley put Becka up fairly high. And now, she had just asked for a kiss from Miley!

Miley turned to Amber and Ashley and gave them a gloating smile. Amber and Ashley looked shocked. Miley turned back to Becka, put her arms around her as Becka returned the embrace, and they shared a passionate kiss!

"Thank you!" said Becka bashfully. Becka walked away making blissful sounds.

After Becka left, Amber and Ashley gave Miley a disgusted look, then waved their hands down as if they were to say "Phooey!" and walked away. Miley and Lily embraced each other.

"We sure showed them what's attractive" said Miley.

"Hehe, yeah!" said Lily. "Say, maybe next time we can show them...our tits.

"Ohhhhh no!" said Miley humorously. "They don't deserve to see them!"

"Gee, I don't think they want to see them" said Lily still joking around. Then she made a nasty grin. "Say," said Lily. "Maybe we can do it just to gross them out!"

"I'm with ya' on that, girlfriend!" agreed Miley.

Miley and Lily started kissing. They only kissed for about seven seconds when they heard a familiar voice say "It's ironic."

Miley and Lily broke off their kiss and looked in the direction of the voice. They saw that it was Oliver.

"You'll kiss each other, but...you won't kiss me" said Oliver.

Miley suddenly felt the poison of guilt in her heart. She and Lily walked up to Oliver.

"Oh my god, Oliver!" said Miley sympathetically. "We're so sorry! We had no idea you felt that way about us!"

"Y-yeah," said Lily. "N-not that we feel that way about you."

Miley hit Lily in the stomach. "Ow!" Lily exclaimed.

"Well, I don't" said Lily. Miley hit Lily in the stomach again.

"OW!" said Lily.

"It's not that" assured Oliver. "It's just that...ever since you two started...dating..." said Oliver knowing it was a bizarre statement. "You've spent so much time with each other and hardly any time with me."

"Come on, Oliver," said Miley. "We spend plenty of time with you. Last week, you and I-...wait, no, that was Lily." Oliver looked at Miley as if he were pointing out her abandonment.

"Well, remember the time you and Lily-..." said Miley as her voice trailed off again. "Wait, no, that was last year."

"You two have been so close lately, I was kind of starting to feel left out" said Oliver sternly. "I thought we were friends."

It was true, Miley and Lily hadn't spent much time with Oliver lately. They forgot all about him. Maybe not on purpose, but they forgot about him. Miley suddenly started to feel they were losing Oliver. She loved Lily, but Oliver was important to her too.

"Oliver, we are friends;" said Miley emotionally. "And we're sorry if we haven't been paying enough attention to you lately." She almost sounded like she was about to cry.

"You know," said Oliver sadly. "I've always been frustrated not having any guy friends...you're both girls, so you have a lot in common...and sometimes, like now, you can seem so close, that I get the feeling..." Oliver hung his head. "You like each other more than you like me."

Lily made a sad expression.

Miley put her hands on Oliver's shoulders. "Oliver..." Miley said. "That could never happen! I mean, sure, Lily and I have been acting like more than just friends lately-..."

"Wait a minute!" interrupted Lily. "Acting? Oh, it's Becka Weller, isn't it? You kissed her, so now you have feelings for her!"

Miley turned to Lily, glared at her, and pretended to zip her mouth shut.

She then turned back to Oliver. "But we would never want to choose between each other and you" said Miley.

Miley hugged Oliver. Oliver hugged her back, and Lily smiled with her eyebrows slanted. "Awww!" said Lily. "Is there room for one more in there?" Miley, Oliver, and Lily all had a group hug.

"Tell you what," said Miley after the hug parted. "How about we go to the beach tomorrow? Just you and me, Oliver."

"Hey!" Lily exclaimed. "What about me?"

"Well," said Miley. "If you and I are in the same place, we'll be too tempted to-..." Miley ended her sentence by making kissy sounds.

The next day, when the sun had just barely risen over the horizon, Jackson was still in bed. He was having an awesome dream. He dreamed he was in a hot tub, naked, in a dark room, and not too far away, there was a female figure covered in the shadows; who he was really anticipating. He couldn't see her face, but he could tell she was wearing a robe.

"There you are, foxy lady!" said Jackson in the dream. "Come take a dip with...the Jacksonator!"

Without saying a word, the figure removed her robe and let it fall to the floor. Jackson saw her hot body, but her face was still covered in the shadows. Which didn't make sense, but this was a dream, nothing made sense.

"Ooooo, I like what I'm seein'!" gawked Jackson. The figure slowly and silently entered the hot tub. She was still in the shadows, but was revealed to have blond hair. Jackson may not have been able to see her face, but every instinct was telling him, she's hot! She's hot! Jackson and the figure put their arms around each other and made out for a while.

"Oh, you're such a bad girl!" said Jackson. Jackson and the mysterious female figure kissed more as Jackson started to squeeze her boobs.

"You are the hottest girl I've ever seen!" said Jackson.

They kissed one last time, and when the kiss parted, the figure's head finally moved into the light, revealing her to be none other than HANNAH MONTANA! Jackson couldn't think of a logical explanation for this, but her face looked so gorgeous!

"And you are so one in a million!" said Hannah. Wow, she had an angelic voice too!

"Come inside me!" said Hannah. Jackson had never even kissed a girl in real life, but this was a dream, so it was easy for him to have sex. Jackson outstretched his legs, Hannah straddled him, and they started having intercourse. Hannah bounced up and down as her boobs bounced as well.

"Ooohhhhh, baby!" said Jackson feeling an incomparable rush of adrenaline.

"Ooooooo yeah!" said Hannah. "Clean my pipes!"

Hannah moaned and groaned for a while. "This feels sooooooooo good!" moaned Hannah.

As Jackson and Hannah had sex, suddenly, some music started playing. Hannah started singing to the music.

"If we were a movie,

You'd be the pimp dad

And I'd be the hot babe,

Baring my assets all for you

We'd be runnin'

Down the beach naked

Late at night,

It's so right,

Sing the sexy song"

"Oh!" said Jackson as the music kept playing. "I feel the music in me!"

"I really feel the music in me!" said Hannah.

As the dream sequence started to end, Jackson was talking in his sleep.

"Oh...I love you, Hannah Montana!" said Jackson talking in his sleep. "You're so hot and sexy!"

Jackson suddenly woke up, sat up, and his jaw dropped. As he regained his awareness of reality, he made a disgusted face, and he started to make some weird, goofy, groveling noises of panic and disgust. Jackson couldn't believe what he just dreamed about! In a hot tub! With his sister! Having sex! BLLLLEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCHHHH! He suddenly had a painful feeling in his stomach, and his throat felt like the sewer. He put his hand over his mouth, leaped out of bed, ran to the bathroom, and barfed in the toilet!

Hearing the noise, Robbie Ray, who always woke up earlier than Jackson and Miley, came into the bathroom. "Sweet Nelly at the rodeo!" Robbie Ray exclaimed. "What's wrong, son?"

Jackson gagged. "Uh...I ate Aunt Pearl's garlic cheese pie, and somethin' tells me my stomach didn't agree with it!" lied Jackson.

"Awww no," said Robbie Ray. "Aunt Pearl ain't' gonna' like this when we go visit her and Uncle Earl next week. You know how sensitive she is about her cookin'. Jackson, when we sit down to eat, just choke it down and tell her ya' love it."

Even though Jackson was lying, he was surprised at what Robbie Ray said, had Jackson been telling the truth. Jackson looked at Robbie Ray as if he were to say "You want me to do what?"

"Don't worry!" said Robbie Ray. "I'll bring the stomach medicine!"

Later that day, Jackson was at school. It was lunch period, and he still hadn't gotten over the dream he had about Miley. It made him barf, so he almost felt he was scarred for life. Jackson carried his lunch tray over to where Coop, Max, and Thor were sitting.

"Whoa, Jackson," said Coop. "Why the long face?"

"Did Becky put out a restraining order against you?" said Max humorously. Coop and Max laughed.

"Did Becky put out a restraining-...NO!" mimicked Jackson. Jackson sat down. "But I do still feel pretty lousy."

"Come on, Jackson," said Coop. "Tell us."

There was a brief pause. "I had a dream" said Jackson. "A sex dream."

"Ooo!" said Coop. "What was it about?"

Jackson paused, then made a disgusted face. "Mah' sister!" said Jackson.

Coop and Max looked at each other and went "OOOOOOO-HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO!"

"Shut up, guys!" said Jackson. "It ain't funny!"

"Well, gee, Jackson, it was just a dream" said Max. "Did it really get to you that much?"

"What really bothers me," stated Jackson. "Is how I felt about it and how it literally made me barf when I woke up! But you know what the weird thing was?" Jackson paused. "During the dream...I enjoyed it."

Again, Coop and Max went "OOOOOO-HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO!" Then they both just laughed normally.

"I've found mahself' startin' to question both mah' sexuality and mah' integrity" said Jackson. "I would never...ever have sexual feelin's for mah' sister. I don't know what could possibly make me think I ever would! I mean, I love her, and I'd cry my eyes out if she died, but I don't wanna' get down and dirty with her!"

"Oh, I hear ya', buddy" said Thor who had been shy most of the conversation. "I once had a sex dream about my sister. I dreamed she was..." Thor started staring off into space. "Out in the pasture..." said Thor continuing his sentence. "Milking a cow...and then suddenly...she puts the cow's udder in her mouth. Oh, wait...I don't remember whether it was the cow's udder...or my penis."

There was a brief pause. "Jackson," said Coop holding back laughter. "I don't know how to tell ya' this, but...in some part of your brain...you love Miley for more than just a sister!

Jackson was disgusted. "Oooooohhhhhhh, excuse me while I barf for the second time in one day!" said Jackson. "Miley is the brattiest, most annoyin', most obnoxious sister in the world! We're always fightin'! She thinks she's so much better than me, and quite frankly, she makes me feel bad about maself'. She's always been so much more talented than me, and let's face it, she's the girl in the family! She's daddy's little girl! She's always been mah' daddy's favorite!"

"Well, Jackson," said Coop. "If that really is how you feel, if yo' worried about things you might be feellin' deep down inside, you need to do somethin' to clear your conscience of those feelins' and better convince yoself' that you hate her."

"And how do you propose I do that?" asked Jackson.

"Well," said Coop. "Maybe you could...do somethin' real mean to her."

"Like what?" asked Jackson.

That night, at about 11:07 pm., Miley had just gotten back from a Hannah Montana concert. She had also been partying with Lola Luftnangle, Traci Vanhorn, and a few anonymous celebrities. Miley was getting ready fro bed. She stretched and yawned. "What a concert" said Miley. "I love my fans and friends, but they wear me out."

Miley climbed into bed, then something startled her. Her bed sheets underneath snapped out of place and rolled up! She was trapped in a pocket!

"Huh? What-...WHOA!" Miley exclaimed frantically. She struggled and grunted hard to get out of the pocket, but she couldn't get out.

"HELP! HELP!" Miley screamed.

Suddenly, Jackson ran into the room and pointed and laughed at Miley. Miley looked at Jackson shocked and angry. "You did this?" Miley accused.

"Looks like we got a monster in the pocket!" insulted Jackson. With that, Jackson ran out of the room laughing. Miley screamed "DADDYYYYYYYY!"

Much earlier that day, at about 4:00 pm., Miley and Oliver were walking down the beach, just as Miley had promised Oliver. Miley felt really bad about not having spent any time with Oliver, so she wanted to make it up to him, and with Lily out of the picture, there were no distractions. She wanted to give Oliver a good time.

They found a spot and stopped. "Well, Oliver, you feel Lily and I have been ignoring you lately," said Miley. "But today...it's all about you" said Miley sweetly.

Oliver wasn't sure how to interpret that. "Uh..." stated Oliver. "Are you being sarcastic or sincere?"

Miley hugged Oliver. "Oh yeah," said Oliver hugging Miley back. "Definitely sincere."

Miley and Oliver spread out their towels on the sand. "Hope you don't mind," stated Miley. "But I think my skin needs a little sun."

From Oliver's point of view, what Miley did next seemed to happen in slow motion. Miley took off her shirt over her head, revealing she was wearing a blue bikini top underneath. The removal of her shirt caused her boobs to bounce briefly. Oliver didn't know why, but somehow he felt mesmerized by the sight.

Miley smiled at Oliver skeptically. "Whatcha' doin'?" asked Miley through clenched teeth.

"Um, uh-uh, nothing!" said Oliver nervously. "You know what, some of my skin needs a little sun too, so I'll just..." Oliver finished his sentence by quickly taking off his shirt. Miley shrugged.

What happened next seemed to happen in slow motion too. Oliver watched in awe as Miley took off her shoes, socks, and long pants, revealing that she was wearing a blue bikini bottom underneath. In the process, the skin on Miley's thick legs jiggled a bit. Miley then lifted her leg up and scrunched her toes together a few times.

Miley looked at Oliver. "You ok, Oliver?"

Gee, what was wrong with him? Was Oliver gawking at his girl bud? Did he actually like Miley's body? He never gawked at her before, so what was going on here?

"Ummm..." stated Oliver. "You know, I'm actually feeling kind of feeling hungry right now; I'm going to go buy some popcorn."

"No need!" said Miley with a smile. "I could use some popcorn too. I'll go buy some."

Oliver sat down on his towel and Miley headed towards Rico's. Oliver felt mesmerized again as he kept a close eye on Miley's butt. "Hoh!" said Oliver in a high pitched tone.

Miley arrived at the counter of Rico's. To Miley's dismay, Rico himself was right behind the counter.

"Ill take some popcorn and two cokes" said Miley.

Instead of serving her right away, Rico was gawking at Miley's boobs. "Hubba hubba!" said Rico. "Hope I get a rubba!"

Miley had just about enough of this sick little pervert hitting on her. "You'll get nothing and like it" said Miley sternly.

"Well, in that case," stated Rico. "Your popcorn and soda are going to cost you 90 cents extra! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Damn, this kid was evil! Miley growled in anger as she fished through her wallet.

A moment later, Miley came back to Oliver with two sodas and a box of popcorn. She sat down on her towel next to Oliver.

"Gee," said Oliver. "You only got one box; I thought you wanted some popcorn too." Oliver then changed his voice very sternly. "Rico ripped you off, didn't he?"

"Well...yes and no" said Miley. "Rico did raise the price because of something I said to mess with me, but I was only going to get one box anyway." Miley smiled. "I was thinking maybe we could share it."

Awwwwww! That was so sweet! Miley was only Oliver's female friend, but he had to admit, that sounded romantic!

Oliver smiled and said "You're really sweet Miley." Miley smiled back. Oliver took a handful out of the popcorn box and ate it. Miley took out a handful and used the other hand to eat one piece at a time. Oliver took some more, Miley took some more, then they both reached into the popcorn box at the same time as their hands touched. They looked down at their hands in surprise, looked at each other's faces, then smiled. Wow, this day was getting more and more romantic by the minute. To Oliver, at least. Despite them being just friends, Miley and Lily had been ignoring him lately, and Oliver didn't have any other friends. He couldn't help but enjoy this.

A while later, the popcorn box was almost empty. Oliver tried to take a sip of his soda, but it was empty.

"Oh, god," said Oliver. "This popcorn is making me really thirsty, but I'm out of soda!"

Miley smiled. "Here, have some of mine" said Miley as she handed Oliver her soda.

Whoa! Miley wanted to share a drink with him? Oliver always assumed Miley would think that was gross. After all, it was a romantic interaction, and he was sure Miley never had feelings for him. If not, why was she acting like this now? Needless to say, this was a very positive feeling.

Oliver smiled, breathed bashfully, took Miley's soda, and drank some of it. Wow, Miley has both outer beauty and inner beauty, Oliver thought.

"Whoa!" Miley suddenly exclaimed. "I totally forgot we need to apply sunscreen!"

Miley took a bottle of sunscreen out of her bag and opened it. "Lift your arm" said Miley.

Oliver hesitated. "You mean, you're gonna'-..." stated Oliver getting more and more shocked at Miley's behavior.

"Yeahhhhhhh" said Miley nodding with a big smile.

I can't believe she's actually going to do this! thought Oliver in a sissy voice. On top of that, she's showing more skin than I am, and yet, she's more concerned about my skin than her own!

Oliver lifted his arm up with a smile and for the next two minutes, Miley applied sunscreen to both of Oliver's arms. To Oliver's surprise, she applied it slowly and intimately. Wow, first Miley gets mentally romantic, now she was getting more physical. In a way, the physical part was mental too. Miley didn't have to do this, but she chose to, and that was inner beauty. Oliver shivered with pleasure as Miley applied the sunscreen.

"Gee," said Miley still smiling. "Are you hot or cold?"

Well, I definitely know one of us is hot, Oliver thought. But then he thought again. Hu-...wait a minute, what am I saying? I don't like Miley in that way! Oliver paused his thoughts. Do I? thought Oliver in a sissy voice.

"Well..." said Oliver out loud. "I've never had a girl do this for me, so...it's a little overwhelming."

"What about your mom?" asked Miley.

Oliver inhaled deeply with a smile. "Not the same thing," Oliver said bashfully. "Trust me."

"You are such a dork," said Miley. "It's no wonder I feel so comfortable with you."

"Gee..." said Oliver as the blissful look faded.. "I don't know whether to be flattered or offended."

"Trust me," said Miley. "It's a compliment."

Miley finished applying sunscreen to Oliver's arms and said "Ok, now layyyyy down" said Miley stretching out the word "lay."

Half of Oliver was getting more exited, but he knew Miley too well not to suspect something else.

"Um...this is a trick, right?" accused Oliver. "You're gonna' bury me in the sand and pour ants on me."

"Stop living in the past, Oliver," ridiculed Miley. "We were 13! Besides, burying you in the sand would take forever. I couldn't do it unless you held still."

"Oh, I get it!" said Oliver. "You're going to trick me into laying down and then pour the rest of your soda in my face!"

"Oliver, honey," said Miley gently. "The longer you argue with me, the sooner you'll get sunburned."

Awwwww! Now that was a nice tender thing to say! Oliver felt like putty in her hands when Miley said that. Miley had never called him "honey" before. Oliver smiled bashfully and layed down. Miley squirted some some sunscreen onto Oliver's chest and started rubbing it in slowly and intimately as she smiled into Oliver's eyes.

"Ya' like that?" asked Miley. Oliver found himself quietly and blissfully hyperventilating. "Oh yeah," said Miley. "You like it."

Miley then started applying sunscreen to Oliver's stomach. "So..." said Miley sweetly. "Am I off the hook for spending too much time with Lily?"

Oliver was so mesmerized by what Miley was doing for him, and he was getting so turned on. So much, that he didn't entirely pay attention to what Miley just said. Without even thinking, the only words he could get out were a very tense "I love you."

"WHAT?" shouted Miley taking her hands off of Oliver's stomach.

Oliver sat up and gasped. Uh oh! Those words really shouldn't have come out of his mouth! Oliver always knew he didn't like Miley as a girlfriend, but he had known Miley for so long, and now she was making him feel so good that...he wasn't sure! Word vomit! Word vomit!

Oliver slapped himself to try to come to his senses. "Uh...I mean," said Oliver. "You are definitely off the hook."

To Oliver's surprise, Miley acted like Oliver didn't say what he just said. "Good" said Miley sweetly. She handed Oliver the bottle of sunscreen. "Now you do me."

Oooooooo! Oliver thought the word vomit would cost him this beautiful afternoon, but now it was about to get even better!

A moment later, Miley was laying on her stomach while Oliver was applying sunscreen to her legs. Oliver was getting really aroused doing this, and his face showed it. He couldn't believe he was rubbing his female friend's legs!

"Yeah, that's how you do it" said Miley. "You really are smokin' Oaken."

Wow! What a compliment! In the past, Oliver referred to himself as "smokin' Oakin'", as a way to sound cool and confident. Miley and Lily both kind of looked down on him for that, because he sounded cocky, and that he was really a dork. But now, Miley actually called him smokin' Oaken! He was starting to like Miley more and more on this very special day. He was getting more and more aroused rubbing sunscreen on Miley's body, and he wasn't doing a very good job hiding his arousal!

Boy am I glad she can't see my face! Oliver thought. He couldn't explain Miley's romantic and sensual behavior, but considering her reaction to the word vomit, she obviously still didn't like Oliver as a boyfriend either. Because of that, Oliver had to hide what he was feeling right now. The more Miley drove him crazy, the harder it was for him to hide.

Then, a nervous thought occurred to Oliver. But what if she asks me to do the tops of her feet?

After Oliver finished Miley's legs, Miley got off her stomach and sat with her legs partially stretched and her feet flat. "Now," said Miley. "Do the tops of my feet."

HELP! Oliver hesitated as he frowned with his teeth showing and eyebrows slanted.

"Egh!" said Oliver in a high pitched tone.

"What?" said Miley. "Oliver, you're looking at me like I'm your grandma!"

"It's...not that" said Oliver in a sissy voice.

Miley half shrugged impatiently. "Come on, Oliver," said Miley. "You've known me for such a long time. Don't be such a wuss."

Oliver looked down at Miley's feet, and Miley wiggled her toes briefly. That made Oliver all the more nervous. Summoning some courage, Oliver squirted some sunscreen on Miley's feet, and positioned himself so that his face was directly over Miley's feet, so that way Miley couldn't see his face. With all his will, he started rubbing it in while smiling and making aroused facial expressions.

I can't believe I'm touching Miley's feet! thought Oliver.

A moment later, Miley had applied sunscreen to Oliver's back, and now Oliver was applying it to Miley's face and neck. Oliver finished fairly quickly.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" said Miley.

Oliver was afraid of this. "Like what?" he asked. Miley answered Oliver's question by putting her hands under her boobs and bouncing them twice.

MMPPPHH!

"I wouldn't want my hooters to get sunburned, now would I?" said Miley.

Oliver was SHOCKED! Hearing about Miley and Lily having sex and being a couple was big news, but this was UNBELIEVABLE! How far was Miley willing to go to save their friendship?

"You can't be serious!" Oliver exclaimed.

"But I am!" said Miley.

At the most dramatic moment of his life since she told him she was Hannah Montana, Oliver took a deep breath, and began to apply sunscreen to the exposed parts of Miley's boobs.

The next day, Oliver and Lily were walking around the mall. Miley had hung out with Oliver, now it was Lily's turn. As Oliver and Lily talked, Oliver couldn't stop thinking about what Miley had done. Why was she acting like she was attracted to him? Was she just trying to redeem herself, or did she have some kind of ulterior motive? Did Miley and Lily plan it together? Did Lily know? So many questions. To top it all off, Oliver was going through some very conflicting feelings right now.

The conversation topic eventually lead to Lily talking about one of her dates with Miley. "Then suddenly, he slashes her stomach" said Lily. "I was like 'Eeeeeeep!' Then," Lily then shifted her voice to a bashful tone. "Miley comforts me by putting her arms around me and kissing me!" Oliver didn't have much of a response to that. "Oliver, are you OK?" asked Lily concerned. "You...don't seem to be enjoying our outing.

"I don't know" said Oliver. "My heart is some-...I mean my mind is somewhere else."

"What are you thinking about?" asked Lily. "Amy Stanton's boobs?"

"Welllllll you got the 'boobs' part right..." said Oliver. "Buuuuuut not Amy Stanton."

"Oliver, do you mind if we sit down?" asked Lily. "My feet are killing me."

Oliver rolled his head. "Ohhh, please don't use the word 'feet'!"

"Come to think of it, my ass hurts too" said Lily.

"Ass!" said Oliver squeamishly followed by a sissy squeak.

Lily grabbed hold of Oliver's arm. "Come on" said Lily. Lily and Oliver walked over to a bench and sat on it. "OK, Oliver," said Lily. "Seriously, what's bothering you?"

"It's..." said Oliver. "It's Miley."

Lily hesitated. "What, does she keep hitting you?" asked Lily.

"No" said Oliver. Oliver paused. "As you know," stated Oliver. "Yesterday, I was at the beach with her. Usually when we go to the beach together, she just wears her regular clothes, and she was wearing her regular clothes, but then...she started taking them off, and-..."

"SHE GOT NAKED ON THE BEACH?" shouted Lily.

"No no no!" said Oliver. "She was wearing a bikini underneath her clothes, and...I've never thought this before, but...she looked awfully hot.

Lily smiled in surprise, then smiled provocatively. "She is hot, isn't she?" said Lily nodding her head. "That's why she's my girlfriend."

"And then," stated Oliver. "All of a sudden, she starts being so nice to me. She hugs me and buys me some popcorn and soda...it was her idea to share just one box. I must say, that felt romantic. Then, I ran out of soda and I was still thirsty, and..." Oliver started to stare off into space. "She gives me some of hers. Just to think she put her mouth on the same can as me, wow..." Lily started to look at Oliver skeptically. "Then," said Oliver. "To top it all off, she insisted on us both rubbing sunscreen on each other. She let me do every inch of every exposed part of her body." Oliver paused. "During the time we were there," said Oliver. "She said something really sweet." Oliver paused again. "She called me a dork."

Lily didn't see what was so sweet about that, that sounded more like an insult. "But she said it with purpose" said Oliver. "She said 'It's no wonder I feel so comfortable with you.'" Oliver paused. "I also still keep thinking about when we were all talking about you two spending more time with me," said Oliver. "And she says 'Oh my god, Oliver! We're so sorry! We had no idea you felt that way about us!' That was just amazing; and it was so tender how she said 'We would never want to choose between each other and you.'"

Lily frowned with her teeth showing and her eyebrows slanted; starting to feel uncomfortable with what Oliver was saying. Oliver didn't pay much attention to her expression, though.

"You know, Lily," stated Oliver. "For two years, I was obsessed with Hannah Montana. That is, until I found out it was Miley. But over the years...I've really gotten to know the girl under the wig, the voice behind the music, the healthy interest over the conflicting obsession." Oliver paused briefly. "You and Miley have been friends with me for so long, because you're so open minded. You do treat me like a dork, but that is seriously a side of Miley I have never seen before. You'd almost swear...she liked me for more than a friend. So that is why...I think I have feelings for Miley."

Lily was starring off into space with a surprised look. "Lily?" said Oliver. Lily didn't respond. "Lily?" said Oliver. Lily still didn't respond. "Lily?" said Oliver waving his hand in front of Lily's face. "LILY!" yelled Oliver. Oliver took off Lily's hat and smacked her upside the head.

Lily went through a few motions as she started to come to her senses. "Wow" said Lily. "I wasn't expecting that. I gotta' hand it to you, that was pretty deep. I expected you to just say you saw her in a bikini and you think she's hot and end it right there."

"Do you hate me, Lily?" asked Oliver gently.

"Um...n-no! Of course not" said Lily. "I mean, Miley is already mine, and..." Lily's voice trailed off. "What she did yesterday was probably just a mood swing anyway!" said Lily in a funny voice.

The next day, in the morning, Miley was just waking up. Before getting out of bed, she noticed something. She felt around her bed sheets, and felt something wet. "That's funny," said Miley. "I don't remember having a wet dream." Then suddenly, a thought occurred to her. She made a painful, disgusted face. "Oh no..." she said painfully. "It's not cum..." If her sheets were wet, and she didn't have a wet dream, that could only mean one thing: She had wet the bed.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Miley screamed. How did this happen? Miley was 16! Only little kids wet the bed! Miley looked to the side of her bed. "Ah-...!" she shrieked. She saw a bucket of water.

"Jackson!" said Miley slowly in an angry demon voice. Miley realized Jackson had stuck her hand in warm water while she was sleeping, which made her wet the bed! Miley got out of bed and picked up the bucket of water. "Well then," she said. "I know just what to do with this water!" To get back at Jackson, Miley would go into Jackson's room and dump the water on his head (hopefully getting his bed wet in the process).

But as Miley exited her room, she tripped over something and had no idea what it was. "WHOA!" she screamed as she tripped. Miley fell head first onto the floor, with her head landing in the bucket! Since the bucket had water in it, she made some verbal bubbling noises after she fell. Miley couldn't believe it. Jackson knew Miley would come and dump the water on him! He had planted a trip rope just outside of Miley's door!

Suddenly, Jackson emerged in the hallway and pointed and laughed at Miley. "Looks like the little pop star became a little pee star!" insulted Jackson. Jackson ran down the hall laughing and did a cocky jump on his way down. Miley turned over, took the bucket off her head, and breathed heavily briefly.

"DADDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

That night, Lily was sitting in her room, alone. Thinking. Pondering. There were about a gazillion words jumbled up inside her head right now. She couldn't stop thinking about what Oliver said. She had some kind of negative feeling, but she wasn't sure what it was. She feared she couldn't talk to Miley or Oliver about this. At this point and time, it was something she had to deal with on her own.

"Oliver likes Miley, wow" said Lily out loud. "So...my guy friend likes my girlfriend." She paused briefly. "Is this healthy?" Lily said. "Will it have any negative effect on our relationship? How is Oliver going to act around Miley from now on? On top of that, how am I going to act around both of them?"

Lily paused briefly. She couldn't believe she was talking to herself. "I can't believe Oliver likes Miley" said Lily. "Oliver is a dork, but Miley has done some pretty dorky things in front of Oliver too. I don't blame him for liking Miley, because I love her, but why?" Lily paused again. "Gee," said Lily. "What am I so afraid of? Am I afraid of Oliver stealing Miley from me?"

Lily thought about that for a moment. "A guy stealing a girl from a girl!" said Lily half humorously. "Boy, would that be bizarre!"

The next several things Lily said were stern and nervous. "I mean...pfft! Pfft! I mean-...pfft! Why can't-...pfft! Why can't Oliver just find a girl of his own? What does Miley have that I don't?"

Lily suddenly gasped and covered her mouth. Oh no, what did she just say? She really shocked herself! She didn't even think that last sentence! It just came out of her mouth! It really hinted at something, and Lily didn't like where it was going! It was contrary to what she had thought her whole life!

"Oh no..." said Lily. "I think I like Oliver!" Lily started to get scared of her own emotions. Did she like Oliver? The guy who she knew was a dork? Was she ashamed of it? Perhaps guilty? Is that what was bothering her? If she did like Oliver, what would she do about it?

"Oh no," said Lily. "What do I do?" Among all the paranoia, a really provocative thought came to Lily's head. She smiled. "Well..." said Lily. "I know the first thing to do."

Lily slowly pulled down her pants and slipped them all the way off, then did the same with her panties. She layed on her bed, barefoot, with her legs open. Lily started masturbating, moaning softly and pleasantly. "Ooooohhhhhh, Oliver" she moaned. Lily came up with the perfect fantasy. She also decided to talk out her fantasy.

"Gee, guys, it's two o' clock and we haven't even showered yet" said Lily talking out her sexual fantasy. "I know! We could save a lot of time if we all shower together! Great idea, Miley!" Lily masturbated silently for a while.

"Oops," said Lily. "How clumsy of me! I dropped the soap! I'd better pick it up!" Lily shoved her fingers inside herself hard and fast. "OH!" shrieked Lily. "Oh, Oliver, you naughty boy!"

Lily masturbated silently for a while. "Oh yeah!" said Lily. "Keep going, Oliver! Don't stop!" Lily masturbated harder and faster as she moaned and groaned slightly louder for about 20 seconds, then shrieked as she had an orgasm! Her orgasm was even bigger than the ones she had when she thought about Gabe Lomotty!

When she finished, she sat up with a surprised expression. "I do like Oliver!" said Lily. She stood up and moved to the center of the room. Lily was really confused. She just found out she liked Oliver, but she and Miley were a couple, and her feelings for Miley were just as strong. "But how can I like Oliver?" Lily said. "I thought I liked Miley! She's my girl!"

Lily walked to the other side of the room, then, it hit her. "That's it!" said Lily quietly with her index finger up. "She's my girl, not my guy." Lily paced around her room as she talked. "One of the main reasons Miley and I started this whole same sex relationship thing was because we were frustrated that we didn't have boyfriends! If I wanted a boyfriend so badly, maybe I'm starting to wish I had turned to Oliver first! Oliver is the only guy I've ever felt truly comfortable around, and I've known him even longer than I've known Miley! That's why I like him!"

Another thought occurred to Lily. "Well, either that or I'm just jealous."

Four days later

Crowley Corners, Tennessee

It was spring break, and the Stewart family had gone on vacation to Uncle Earl and Aunt Pearl's farm. Miley and Jackson always thought spring break was about being with friends, but then again, they saw their friends pretty much every day anyway. The car that was hauling them pulled up to the drive way and Uncle Earl came out to greet them.

"HE-HE-HEY!" greeted Uncle Earl. "LOOK WHAT THE CAT DRAGGED IN! It's mah' country singin' brother, mah' pop singin' niece, and mah'...booger pickin' nephew!"

"Stop! You're embarrasin' me!" said Jackson joking around.

"Great to see ya', Uncle Earl!" said Miley.

"Aw yeah," said Uncle Earl. "Lemme' see Hannah Montana!" Miley walked up to Uncle Earl and hugged him intimately. When the hug parted and Uncle Earl drew his attention to Robbie Ray, Miley made a disgusted face and waved her hand in front of her. God, Uncle Earl stunk!

After Uncle Earl greeted all three of them, Jackson walked into the farm house. In the living room, there was a young guy with buck teeth sitting in a chair. He was scratching a corn cob with a knife.

"SHAGGY!" greeted Jackson.

"JACKSON!" greeted Shaggy in a goofy southern accent. Shaggy got up and hugged Jackson. "So, what are ya' doin' there?" asked Jackson.

"Oh, just doin' some corn cob art" said Shaggy. "I'm tryin' to make it look like President Obama, but instead it looks like Johnny Knocksville!"

"Oh well," said Jackson. "Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it."

Jackson went into the next room, when suddenly, a bunch of fully grown squashes fell on his head! Jackson groveled in pain and fell to the floor. Little did Jackson notice, Luann, Jackson's cousin, was standing nearby the entrance of the room, holding a rope with the other end suspended on the ceiling; apparently a booby trap. Luann gasped.

"Sweet potato pie!" Luann exclaimed. Luann went up to Jackson to help him up. "Awww, I'm sorry, Jackson," said Luann. "I thought you were Miley."

"Good god, Luann!" said Jackson. "That hurt! And you were gonna' do this to Miley? You're cold!"

"Aww, come on, Jackson," said Luann. "I know you don't like Miley any more'n' I do."

"Yeah, but you go too far!" said Jackson. "Don'tcha' have a better use for all this squash? Whydoncha' put it on display at the county fair or somethin'?"

After that cold hearted welcome, there was no way Jackson would hug Luann. Jackson went out the back door onto the back porch. There was a pasture right behind the porch, which was separated by a fence.

"Aunt Pearl?" Jackson called. "Scooby?" Suddenly, Jackson saw Miley in the pasture. She was riding on Blue Jeans, her horse in Tennessee. She was already wearing a cowgirl hat, and she seemed really happy.

"YEAH!" cheered Miley.

"Gee," said Jackson. "She seems more exited to see Blue Jeans than her human relatives." Jackson didn't know why, but he somehow found himself starring at Miley for a while. Miley rode all the way to the back of the pasture, then started riding straight to the front in Jackson's direction with a smile on her face. If Jackson couldn't do any better, he would almost think she were smiling at him. Jackson looked at her skeptically. Gee, what was wrong with him? What was so fascinating about his sister? Suddenly, while riding Blue Jeans, Miley unzipped and removed her jacket, revealing that she was TOPLESS underneath! Miley's bare boobs bounced as she rode, and Jackson imagined them making a bouncing sound.

Miley took off her hat and waved it. "YIPEE-TY-AY!" cheered Miley. "WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Jackson was shocked! Miley continued to ride towards Jackson. "WEEEEEEEEE!" cheered Miley. "RIDE 'EM COWGIRL!" Jackson suddenly started smiling and nodding at the sight. He mouthed the word "HOO!" Jackson couldn't believe it. He actually liked the sight! Seeing his sister ride a horse topless with her boobs bouncing looked so hot! Who needed a girlfriend when he had the hottest sister in the world?

Miley started to reach the edge of the fence and came to a stop. "Jackson!" called Miley in a friendly tone. Jackson snapped out of his trance and payed attention to Miley's voice. "Jackson, wake up!" said Miley. "You're having an orgasm!" Jackson made a surprised expression, then looked down at his crotch.

One second Jackson was on the back porch in broad daylight, the next second he was in bed at night. Jackson suddenly realized he had not gone to Crowley Corners, Tennessee yet. He was still in Los Angelas, California. He had not gone to visit Uncle Earl and Aunt Pearl yet. He was still at home. It wasn't Monday, it was Thursday night (technically, it was Friday at 3:00 in the morning). A dream. It had all been another erotic dream about Miley! Jackson sat up and made an complaining motion. "Oh no," said Jackson out loud. "Not again!"

Suddenly, Jackson heard a familiar voice say "Hey, big bro." Jackson looked in the direction of the voice and saw MILEY right beside him in bed, topless! She was smiling and waving at him. Jackson heard some dramatic, haunting tunes briefly play.

"Wanna' roll in the sack?" asked Miley flirtatiously as she rubbed Jackson's leg. Jackson screamed.

One second Miley was beside Jackson in bed, the next she wasn't, and Jackson was waking up from a deep sleep. Well how do you like that! A double dream! Jackson hated those. This made Jackson very angry. Jackson just didn't know what to do about these disgusting dreams! He couldn't explain why he was having them either! Was there something deep down inside of him that had sexual feelings for Miley? Impossible! She was his sister! The worst sister in the world! He took Coop's advice, he did some mean things to Miley, and he was still having the dreams!

Jackson growled in anger. He then got out of bed and took a flashlight out of his nightstand drawer. He walked across his dark room and shined the light on the Hannah Montana poster he had hung up in his room, which had been insultingly altered with paper cutouts to make Hannah look like a crazed monster. "Yooooooooouuuuuu!" said Jackson in a scratchy voice as he pointed at the poster. "Stay out of mah' dreams, woman!" said Jackson through clenched teeth.

Jackson got the feeling he hadn't been mean enough to Miley. He had to do something worse. He didn't know how, but it was time to take off the gloves!

Many hours later, Miley was walking on the beach, and Oliver came up to her quickly.

"MILEY!" called Oliver running up to Miley. "Miley! Miley!"

"Hi, Oliver!" said Miley in a very friendly tone. "How was your day with Lily?"

Oliver hesitated briefly. "Uh...yeah, sure it was fine" said Oliver with in apathy. "Anyway..." said Oliver in a normal tone. "Miley, there's something I've got to tell you, and I'm not sure how."

"Well, come on, Oliver," said Miley happily. "You can tell me anything! You're my best guy bud! Well, of course, you're my only guy bud...but that just makes you all the more special!"

"I know before I got a little upset about you spending so much time with Lily," said Oliver. "And I was, but...I'm starting to think it was something a little more than that."

Miley put on a sensitive expression. "You're not upset at me for something else, are you?" asked Miley.

"No no no," said Oliver reassuringly. "I'm not upset at all right now, you're fine." Oliver paused. "But there's something that's been on my mind that I just have to get out" said Oliver. "Miley, I..."

"OLIVER!" called a familiar voice from just down the beach. It was Lily, of course. She ran up to Oliver and Miley, and huffed and puffed briefly when she reached them. "Oliver," said Lily. "There's something I got to tell you."

Oliver turned to Lily. He gestured toward Miley as he said "Lily, I'm kind of busy right now-..."

"THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT!" said Lily frantically. There was a brief pause. Lily frowned with her teeth showing and her eyebrows slanted. "Sorry," said Lily feeling a little embarrassed. "Didn't mean to sound crazy. Oliver, I did some thinking last night, and...I'm dealing with some very conflicting feelings right now."

"So am I!" said Oliver gesturing towards Miley.

"Ok, guys," said Miley impatiently. "I don't mean to play favorites, but you two need to reach an agreement on who goes first."

"Well," said Oliver. "Ladies first, I guess."

"Um..." said Lily. "As long as Miley is here, I'm not sure which one of you I should say this to directly!" Lily looked back and forth between Oliver and Miley.

"PICK ONE!" yelled Miley and Oliver at the same time.

Lily turned to Miley. "Miley..." she said. "I have feelings for Oliver!"

Miley was shocked! "Same sex lover say what?" said Miley.

Oliver was shocked too. "You do?" yelled Oliver.

Lily turned to Oliver. "Yes, Oliver" said Lily. "You're the only guy I've ever felt truly comfortable with! I mean, all other guys seem so cool and secure with themselves that they're intimidating! But you, you're a lot more sensitive, and...dare I say it, dorky! If you're a dork, that's ok with me! In fact I love it! And I've never really been with a guy, so I want to have my first intimate, opposite sex experience with you!"

Oliver had never been so flattered in his life, but something was wrong. "Lily," said Oliver. "I'm very touched, but I already told you..." Oliver turned his eyes toward Miley, who was looking at him impatiently with her arms crossed. Oliver turned to Miley. "Miley..." said Oliver. "I have feelings for you!"

Miley was shocked again, and this time somewhat disgusted. "Jealous guy friend say what?" said Miley.

"Miley," said Oliver. "I know I ended my obsession with you when I found out you were..." Oliver closed in and whispered "Hannah Montana", then went back to normal volume saying "But I've know you for such a long time, and I've really gotten to know the real you!" Oliver closed in and whispered "And judging by your songs, I'm pretty sure that's what you wanted." Oliver then spoke out loud "You more than just a pretty face! You're an awesome person! I'm definitely not a popular guy, and you're one of the only two girls who have ever given me a chance. Plus, I felt very close to you two days ago when we were here. I love you, Miley!"

Miley made a surprised expression. "Gee," stated Miley. "I don't know whether to be touched or creeped out."

"But Oliver!" said Lily. "I love you!"

"Lily!" said Miley sensitively. "You like Oliver now? Are you seriously going to leave me after everything we've been through? YOU'RE MY GIRLFRIEND!"

Suddenly, everyone else on the beach stopped what they were doing and looked at Miley. There was silence for a moment. The only sounds that could be heard were the sea gulls squawking and the rolling of the waves in the ocean. Miley realized she said that way too loud. She squinted her eyes and clenched her teeth.

"Sweet nibblets" said Miley painfully.

Lily turned towards the spectators. "What are you perverts lookin' at?" yelled Lily in a crazy voice. "There's nothing more to hear! If you're the voyeur type, get your own life!" Everyone else on the beach went back to their own business.

Lily turned back to Miley. "Lily," said Miley sensitively. "I love you, and I need you, and right now, the thought of us being just friends makes me uncomfortable! I need you as a lover! You can't just leave me like this!"

"Don't worry, Miley!" said Oliver sensitively. "You'll have me! Why not have an opposite sex lover?"

"But Oliver!" said Lily. "I want you! I want to be more than friends!"

"Ok, both of you just...be quiet a minute!" yelled Miley. There was a brief moment of silence between the three of them. "Let me get this straight..." said Miley. "I like Lily, Lily likes Oliver, and Oliver likes me?"

"Yeah" said Lily and Oliver calmly at the same time.

"Gee," said Lily. "How are we going to solve this problem?"

They each thought briefly. Then, Oliver made a provocative smile. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" said Oliver.

Miley and Lily looked into Oliver's eyes, trying to read his dirty mind. Miley made a provocative grin of her own. "Oooooo," said Miley. "I think I know."

"Me too" said Lily with the same expression.

They all looked at each other back and forth for a while, then all three of them shouted at the same time "A THREESOME!"

Stay tuned for chapter 2 "More than just three friends"