Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. But I own this plot! I do not give premission for any of my stories to be copied, translated or otherwise used in anyway without my say so. Thank you!
A/N I'm not really in love with how Stephenie changed vamp lore in Twilight, but I kind of went with it here. I did put my own spin on things. And so the vamps here have fangs (when needed), their eye color returns to what it was before changed, and even though they "sparkle", it isn't like something you can pick up from Hot Topic or Claire's. Also, in my world, the older a vampyre is (yes, I spelled it like that on purpose), the stronger they are. So, a new born vamp wouldn't have more power than an elder vamp.
And one more thing: The vampyers I have here can sleep. Because all vampyers have is unlimited time on their hands, and taking sleep away from them would suck! lol Savvy? Let's rock 'n roll!
This is a fanfiction about Edward & Bree. AU Let's just pretend that Bella was never born. I know. But try it- you might like it! ;)
Banner & pics for this story can be found on my blog! Link on my profile.
*~*The Watcher*~*
"I can smell her. She smells so good. How can you stand it? Please, just one taste." Bree said while watching the dark haired girl walk past.
"No."
"Please!"
"I said no, Bree."
"Dammit Edward! Just give this to me. This one little meaningless human. No one will miss her." She hisses. Her blood lust driving her mad inside.
"I would. She's a friend. Her mother, father and brothers would. Her friends would miss her. Bree, I agreed to train you. I agreed to help you learn our ways. The ways of my family, and others like us. To watch over you. But you will not harm those whom I care for, those who are under my protection. I will not stand by and allow it. Forget about hurting Angela or anyone else in this town. Do we understand one another?"
"Yes, you big pain in the ass!" If looks could kill, and I wasn't already dead..
"New Born mood swings are tricky, are they not?"
"Edward?"
"Yes, Bree?"
"Bite me!"
" Tricky indeed."
"Uggh!"
I watch as she stomps away from me like a petulant child. Only unlike a child, her stomping leaves holes in the ground a foot deep.
I had been working with Bree for the past two months. With the aid of Carlisle's wisdom, and Jasper's ability to effect the emotions of those around him, Bree was coming along nicely. Yes, we had a few slip ups here and there, when I would have to talk Bree down from a hunt. But she had yet to kill anyone in her time with us. It was progress. When we found Bree, alone and feeding off a bartender outside of a seedy club in Seattle, she didn't even know her name. She didn't know anything about how she came to be a vampyre. Just that the thirst took over everything. She picked her own name, then begged us to not leave her alone. One look into that beautiful face, we couldn't leave her even if we wanted to. Bree needed us. And just maybe we needed her as well.
Journal entry:
Bree is still getting used to this life- The life of an eternally damned being. She's young in many ways. She seems far more innocent than I remember any of us ever being after the change. She has no memory of her human life. Nothing at all from it. We don't really know why that is. Only theory Carlisle has is that the vampyer who sired Bree must have been a manipulator. That was where Alice's expertise came in useful. Alice herself was turned by a master manipulator named James. A manipulator isn't just a coniviving vampyer, but one who has the power to control you. To wipe away any and all memories and emotions at their will. We know this must have happened to Bree because here she is a new born vampyer with no memories of her former life. Normally as a new born, you have certain memories left over, flashes of your life before and the longer you live, the more it slips away. Life's cruel joke, really. Humans live thier lives, building memories as they go. A foundation, a scrapbook to look back on years later. For us, the undead, we get to lose the memories that matter most slowly over time. It starts small but builds. Like having that nagging feeling you have forgotten something.
I do find it fitting really; Vampyres kill humans- taking with them the ability to create any more memories with lovers, family and friends. Again, life can be cruel, but sometimes poetic. So for Bree, her humanity has been stripped away. Gifts such as those are not unheard of: Vampyres that can use mind control on their human victims, even other vampyres. They can basically leave the person, or vampyre helpless, lost in a deep sea of forgetfulness.
I pause from my writing, watching out the window as Alice and Jasper run off toward the heavily wooded area behind the house. No doubt going to hunt, and perhaps some alone time. I feel an emotion as close to jealousy as I have ever gotten.
A mate. The thought never crossed my mind in all my years as a vampyer. Not until she came. I shake those thoughts and return to my journal-
I feel sorry for her. As we are brought into this cursed life, some lingering memories remain. Something to ground us if but for a moment in time. Not so with Bree. Carlisle has been speaking with her about it. Seeing if perhaps he can trigger something along the way. Though I do not ask what their talks entail, as it is not something I want to encroach upon, I hope someday Bree shares those feelings with me. Also, I have found that Jasper's background in training and dealing with new borns has been most helpful as well. But Bree seems the most relaxed with me close by- even with Jasper's ability to calm.
The family has taken to calling me her Watcher. That was a role I thought I would feel very uncomfortable in, but I find the idea of always being the one closest to Bree is a good one. Like it is the right thing for me. Finally somewhere I fit.
No doubt Bree has many things ahead of her: To learn how to co-exist in a world with humans and not feed from them. To gain back some of her humanity, if she can. To find a balance living in a world where she no longer belongs. We all had to, so will she. Bree must learn to control her true nature. Not an easy task, certainly not for one so young. For all intents and purposes, Bree is, at the heart of things, just a teenager. Though she cannot remember anything about her human life, she has all the emotions that come from being one. Her hormones are at an all-time high. Combine that with her new born reactions and new born anger, let's just say it has been a trying two month for us all.
As I make my way back down stairs, Rosalie was sitting in the family room painting her long nails. Not really the person I wanted to see at the moment.
"So did little miss seventeen magazine kill the mail-man yet? Or how about the little nerd that works at the coffee shop in town: Tyler was it? You should take goth girl to Hot Topic - let her feed off a few employees, and get her some new band shirts. Kill two birds with one..bite? Better yet, take her to the premiere of that new werewolf movie, set batgirl loose on those fools." Rose said with a coy smile, continuing to paint her nails.
Rosalie loves anything that makes life harder for me. Bree is making Rose's day by virtue of the new born keeping me on my toes.
"She is doing much better. Rose, you could help. Add some motivating words for Bree. It would mean a great deal coming from someone as old as you." I smiled while walking away. And then again when I heard the deep growl coming from the family room. Followed then by the crash of some of Esme's Crystal hitting the wall above my head. Shaking my head to rid my hair of glass, I wondered if Rose kept some of her new born tendencies..
(Cullen Backyard)
I saw Bree outside sitting in the sunshine on a pale blue blanket. Her raven hair blowing in the breeze, her pale face turned upwards in search of the afternoon sun that was such a rareity here in Forks. She hears me approach, her dark red eyes land on me. I suddenly wish I knew what color her eyes were before her change. No question in anyone's mind - Bree is quite beautiful. Once her new born stage is over, the eye color she was born with will in fact return. I find myself looking forward to that day very much. Will her eyes be blue like Emmett, Alice and Rosalie's? Or brown like Esme, Carlisle and Jasper's? Or would they be closer to my jade green eyes? Something tells me I won't be disappointed when her natural color returns.
"Hi Bree, how are you feeling?" I ask while sitting down next to her in the grass. The sounds of the Sol Duc river at the edge of the property is soothing. The cool spring wind carries with it all the smells of the surrounding forest. In the back of my mind I register that a young buck is about 2 miles up the stream drinking- reminding me I need to hunt soon. Perhaps Bree would like to acompany me..
Bree looks up at me, blood tears staining her pale cheeks. On instinct I go to wipe the red away, and realize how soft her skin is. It feels like nothing I have felt before. It is like touching water, so smooth. I feel captivated by it. I watch as Bree closes her eyes and presses her lips together. Like that will stop her from having to tell me what it is that has her so upset. Her skin in the sunlight, like all of our kind, looks like tiny flecks of ice have formed over it. Not a sparkle, but more a sheen. Add in the deep rich red from her tears, ruby & diamonds come to mind..
"Bree, you need to tell me what is bothering you. Keeping emotions bottled up is never a good thing. Even worse for a new born." Hoping she will talk to me, open up and let me in.
She opens her eyes, looking at me for a moment. It's almost as if she is embarrassed. Her long thick eyelashes tinted dark red from her tears.
"I heard what Rosalie said. I feel so conflicted all the time, Edward. I don't want to harm anyone, but I can't seem to help it! Sometimes all I can think about is the blood. The feel of sinking my teeth into softness, breaking the skin. The feel of blood rushing past my lips, coating my throat. How warm and rich it is. Like now, sitting here in the sun, it's warmth only reminds me of the warmth that could be filling my stomach. I hate thinking this way! I don't want to let you and Carlise down. But I don't know if I can do this. Something as pure as the sun only seems to bring out my dark thoughts!" She whimpers.
I took her hand in my own. It was much smaller than mine, fragile. Her fingers are long and slinder- perfect for playing piano..perhaps she would like lessions? Maybe that is something that would take her mind off her troubles.
Even though I am much older than Bree in terms of the span of time I have walked this earth, I was just seventeen when changed. So I know what it is like to try to deal with all the emotions from your human life while also dealing with vampyer temperaments and desires. It can drive one mad with need if you let it. Suddenly being so aware. You are more aware of everything. After waking up from a sleep of death where the flames of hell itself licked at you, you awake to a world you know nothing about. Colors you never knew existed, sounds you have never heard; that the world has no name for. All your senses are so alive, yet your body is frozen in your time of death. You can feel the earth moving around you. Hear the shifting of dirt in the ground as worms crawl. You can look up at the night sky and see every star and their imperfections. As Emmett would say, it's a mindfuck. Try being stuck in the body of a horny teenage boy for all time. I'm sure being in the body of a teenage girl- moody beings they are, must be just as bad, if not worse.
"Bree, it has only been two months. Give yourself some time. I think you have shown remarkable strength. You have a will to be more than a killer. The whole family is very proud of you." I smile down at the beauty before me. But she still looks unconvinced.
"Rosalie?" She says her name like it's all the explanation needed. Maybe because it is.
"Rose is.. well, she is Rose. She takes some getting used to. But once she loves you, you won't find a more loyal person. And she will Bree, love you. How could she not?" I said that last part as a whisper. Bree looks at me with tear filled eyes yet again. Breaking my cold heart into a million pieces.
"Really? You promise?" She seems so small here needing reassurance.
"I promise you." I said putting my arm around her shoulder. Her scent hits me full on again. And I am left feeling.. well, I don't know how to explain the feelings her scent invokes in me, it is very foreign. Never before has anything effected me as much as Bree's scent. Every vampyer has their own smell: a mix of their natural scent from birth and then as we become monsters, our scents change, morph to become our own blend. A joining of old life and new..half-life. I can tell you each scent of my family members: Alice's scent was that of Magnolias and peaches. Jasper, though I never really got close enough to sniff my brothers, was a mix of fresh air and rainwater. Rose was vanilla and wild roses- fitting, really. Emmett's was pine and chocolate. Esme was Carnations and pear. Carlisle was Cinnamon and leather- reminded me of the books he spends countless hours looking over. My own, so I am told, is honeysuckle and mint.
But Bree's scent- it was something other worldy. Something that gave me hope. Her scent was a enchanting mixture of Cherry Blossoms and that of the first snow of winter. If I had the need for breath, her scent would have taken it away. I don't know why she effects me so. Esme seems to think that with time, I will find out. I have no clue what she means by that but Alice seems to get much amusement out of my bewilderment.
)*(
"Edward.. I can't. Please don't make me. Please don't!" She begs me and my heart breaks for her. Her pleads are almost my downfall.
I have brought Bree to a local park on a friday evening. There aren't any children on the playgrounds, parking lot is empty. But the scent of humans still linger from the day and there are even a few people walking along the lighted pathways. I keep Bree back, of course. I wouldn't put her through this if there was any other way. But She learn to control the need to feed. My plan is to intruduce Bree to the scent of humans, little by little in the hopes that she will become..acclimated to their scent after a while. And I know she trusts me to not allow her to harm anyone. We stay within the shadows of the woods just beyond the park. If she runs, I will catch her. Being older, I'm faster, stronger.
"Bree, trust me. I know you can do this." I give her hand a small sqeeze.
"It hurts Edward. Please take me home or let me go! Anything but this.. torment. Don't you smell them? They are everywhere. I told you I wasn't strong enough for this. I am not cut out to be like you!"
I know it is her hunger talking. There are many reasons why we are called 'new borns' when first turned: In a sense we are starting anew.. even if it is a half-life we are starting. But also because we have much to learn about our new world. Like an infant, we grow. Not physically, but rather emotionally, intellectually. Another reason, is the hunger pangs. Much like a new born babe will cry for his mother's milk when hungry, a new born vampyre will cry out in their own way for sustanance. The pain in your gut never truly fades no matter how much you feed. The thirst is never truly saited. So you must learn to ignore it. Otherwise you become too wild with thirst, feeding too much. Much like an alcoholic with wine, so is a vampyre with blood. And you risk having the volturi, our own law system, decend upon you. No one wants a visit from them.
"Alright Bree. We can go." I will not push her too hard. But before we reached my bike, the scent hit. I felt Bree stiffin under my arm. Her muscles coiled, ready to take down her prey. The scent was sickly sweet- like walking into a candy shop where even the air left a sweetness on your tongue. Beyond us, about fifty feet was a young boy skateboarding along the path. The same path we were on. He was seconds from death and didn't even know it. I do not know why some humans smell better than others, it is just as anything with life, a guessing game. I heard Bree's hiss building the nearer the boy came. I took her hand and started walking a different way but it was no use. Bree was planted to her spot. A spider awaiting her fly.
"Bree? Bree, don't even think about it. Come along. We can go this way." She wouldn't move. She was fixed on him. His movements. Her eyes grew darker with blood lust. Her lips opened, her tongue running along tip of her fangs as they drop down- coated with her venom. She is tasting the air for his flavor. Shit! If she kills him, it will be my fault for bringing her here. And also seeing her like this brings out highly inappropriate feelings in me. So not the fucking time for that!
"Bree! Now!" Nothing. She won't break her stare. I shake her arm. Slowly she turned her head a fraction to the side to look at me from the corner of her now black eyes. I don't think she even knew I was really there. The thirst had her. My phone started buzzing in my back pocket. Alice. She would have seen this just moments before it happend. No time. I couldn't risk it by looking down at the phone.
Just as I thought that, Bree crouched and flew at her 'prey'. I vaguely remember hearing myself growl out a low "fuck" before I moved faster than the small new born could. I pushed the teen boy out of the way- all the while jumping in front of Bree and wrapping my arms around her small frame in an iron grip. Looking at the boy laying in the grass, shocked.
I Yelled out "Run! now! Go!"
The boy finally gaining back his wits, runs off into the night. No doubt wondering what the hell was going on. And if the devil was on his tail.
Bree was wild and mad beneath me. The blood lust changing her voice into that of a wild beast hell bent on blood shed.
"LET ME GO! IT'S MINE! I WILL KILL YOU. I WILL KILL YOU ALL!" She screamed out as I had her pinned. I looked down into her black eyes; my pale face and the new moon over my shoulder reflected back in them. My sweet Bree was replaced by this blood thirsty killer.
It took some time, but as we lay there awhile, she began to quiet down. Her breathing still coming out in pants like an animal that put up a good fight. I continue to speak softly to her. She looks up at me after some time has passed, and I see it in her eyes- My Bree is back. She begins to cry once more. Sorrow, confusion and disappointment shaking her small frame with sobs.
"I'm so sorry. Please don't leave me! Please forgive me Edward. I'm so sorry." Over and over again she says this and begs us not to abandon her. How she could think the family would, that I would ever leave her alone, is beyond me.
" Bree, love. Its ok. It's alright now. It's over. I would never leave you alone. You are a part of us. Please calm down. I'm so sorry it hurts you." I rock her back and forth for a long time.
Sometime later, I hear Alice's Porsche pull up and park next to my Kawasaki Ninja ZX-14. We love our rides in this family. They are very austintatious of us, really. But what I was most worried about was I didn't know what Alice was doing here. Surely she had seen that I stopped Bree before she could harm the boy?
"Alice? What are you doing here?" I ask as Bree looks up at Alice, then started to cry harder again. I tucked her head under my chin. Suddenly feeling annoyance at Alice for coming here and making Bree feel worse. And maybe even for intruding on my time with Bree. Why the hell would I mind that? Makes no sense what I seem to be feeling.
"You saw, didn't you?" Bree said softly. Alice drops to her knees in the grass, touching Bree's curls softly as she speaks to her.
"Bree, don't you dare feel ashamed of this. You must understand we all went through the new born stage. The out of control emotions and the blood lust. It will get better. And Bree, You are apart of this family no matter what. We love you. You're stuck with us!"
In that moment I had never been more proud of my sister, of my family. Alice showed me just how much she loved Bree. Just how much she thought of her as a sister.
Looking up with a real smile, Bree threw her arms around Alice's neck. "Thank you, Alice."
"Anytime sis. Now, how about we ditch watcher-boy here and have some girl time?" I didn't know what pissed me off more, being called that or her stepping in on my time with Bree.
"Alice, what are you up to? I brought Bree here and I will be taking her home." I didn't like the idea of Bree out of my sight. I wanted her here with me. I needed to protect her. Damn if I wasn't confused, and vampyers don't get confused very often. When we do, we get angry.
"Edward, Bree needs some girl time. And you, well, you're going to need a ride on your bike. Remember you used to love it. Trust me brother. For I am Alice.. I know all!" She said while bowing, making Bree giggle. I had to admit, hearing her giggle, It was becoming my favorite sound. And I did trust Alice. Out of everyone in my family, Alice and I were the closest. Still didn't mean I liked the idea of letting Bree go with little Alice when Bree's moods were..unsteady at best!
"Alright. But please be careful. And maybe it would be best to stay away from public places?" 'Since I messed up and almost cost a boy his life', I thought with much sorrow.
"Girl time will be back at the manor. We're going to be watching some movies, painting our nails and talking about hot boys!" I had to laugh at my sister. Only Alice could come up with something so human for Bree to do. And I was greatful once again to her. Even if the "talking about hot guys" part almost had a small growl building in my chest.
I walked Bree over to Alice's Porsche. Hugging her close to me I asked her, "Will you be ok now? Do you want to have girl time? Because if not, I will steal you away right now and we can take off on my metal steed!" I wanted to make her laugh again. And it worked. She snuggled closer into my chest. Her soft curls tickling my chin. Her sweet scent hitting me full force. Needlessly reminding me yet again how big a part of my life she had become in such a sort time.
"Yes, Edward. I really want to go. Alice will keep me safe. I may be young and new to this crazy, wonderful family, but even I know not to bet against Alice! And I'm sure you must be in need of some time off from the crazy new born?" She was trying to make light of what she was hinting at. How could she not see how much she has come to mean to me, to the family.
I put my finger under her chin, making her look into my eyes.
"Bree, you have become a very important member of this family. Never forget that. I don't know what I .. uh, I don't know what we would do without you." She looked into my eyes. Not in the hundred and ten years I have walked this earth have I ever felt something like I did when she looked at me like this: Like I was more than just her "watcher". More than just a friend. That she was the one tying me to this earth. It has confounded me.
"Oh, come on you two. It's not like you won't be seeing each other in a few hours. We live in the same house for goodness sake!" Alice and her perfect timing had me shaking my head. Bree smiled at me, kissed my cheek and got in the car.
After I watched the bright yellow sports car pull away, I got on my bike- alone. I missed her arms around my waist as I took curves and turns at a little faster than was recomended, by human standards, anyway. Alice was right, I needed a drive to think about all these feelings inside me, so unlike anything I knew.
Did Alice also see this happening? But what was happening to me was a far more pressing question.
)*(
(Back at Cullen Home)
Journal entry:
I bought her a necklace. Bree. I bought Bree a necklace that cost a small fortune. Last night while driving around on the bike, per Alice's orders, I was in the more upscale side of Seattle at a traffic light and a jewerly store was to my right. I don't know why I went in. I wasn't even looking for anything for anyone. But I just felt this overwhelming need to go in the damn store. While browsing, a saleswoman aproached me asking if I had something in mind. I must have looked most ridiculous just hanging out in a jewerly store, decked out in jeans, Icon boots and leather jacket. After all, to the human eye, I am just a teenager. I didn't know the first thing about that sort of thing. But as I browsed, I spotted it: There laying in the glass case, was a beautifully crafted blood red crystal hanging from a long twisting vine of silver thorns. With two more teardrop crystals hanging from either side of the larger crystal. The neck piece itself was black satin ribbon giving the whole necklace a very beautiful gothic feel.. just like Bree. The necklace was a work of art. A one of a kind piece, again very much like Bree. I knew then they belonged together; Bree and the necklace.
The sales woman also showed me a matching cuff that completed the set. I spent more than I normally would have, shocking the woman that a teen in a damaged leather jacket could afford such things, but somehow knowing that it was meant for Bree, made it all worth it. I just hoped I wasn't crossing any lines by giving it to her. I wanted to wait until we were alone to show her what I had bought. Though by the looks of Alice when I came home tonight, I am quite certain she knows what I got for Bree. Hopefully she won't mention it to the others. I don't want them to ruin the surprise.
I once again find myself sitting with Bree in the soft grass. The breaking of dawn had everything around us cast in early morning colors of greys and light pinks. A cool, sweet mist hangs in the air- left over from the night. I hear animals making their way to the Sol Duc river to get a morning drink. Bree spent the night with Alice and Esme -even Rose who made an appearance. Watching movies and giggling far too much to allow me, Jasper, Carlisle or Emmett any ease. We knew they were talking about us, but we allowed them the privacy they needed and deserved. Bree most of all. I had thanked each woman for being there for Bree in their own special ways. Alice and Esme smiled, showing their love for the new born, giving up more giggles when I talked about how proud of her I was. Rose, being true to her nature said nothing but that she was just bored and I didn't need to get my panties in a wad over it. Alice continued to bug me about Bree's gift. Asking when was I going to decide to give her the gift. As I had kept changing my mind so little miss nosey could not ruin my plans.
But here and now, we were alone as the family was split up off doing different things: Alice and Jasper were on a drive to Seattle. Carlisle was working a double shift at the hospital, Esme was in her office looking over new fabric ideas for Bree's bedroom. Rose and Emmett were hunting, or so they said. So, here was my chance. I turned to Bree as I pulled the gift box out of my coat pocket.
"Bree, I want you to know how sorry I am for last night in the park. For pushing you. I never want to hurt you or put you in a place where you feel over your head. But I promise to always be there to watch over you. Also, I got you something last night while out on my drive. it's nothing too big. Just something that reminded me of you. And so, I hope you like .it." I rambled through.
I was so nervous watching her open the box with the necklace. I figured I would hold off on the matching bracelet until later- no need to overwhelm her. Plus, if she hated it, if she didn't want the necklace, I would know to never bring up the cuff. Luckily for me, her reaction was better than I expected.
"Oh my goodness! Edward, there are no words. It is the most beautiful necklace I have ever seen. This must have cost so much. You shouldn't have! I.. . Thank you so much!" She said throwing her arms around my neck.
Having her in my arms again was all the thanks I would ever need. It was everything. She pulled back to smile at me, her face so close to mine. I could feel the cool air that moved past her lips touching mine. How pathetic am I that this was the most intimate moment of my existence? But I couldn't find it in me to worry or care. Because I would wait another lifetime over to be able to share it with Bree. What was this? These feelings in me, the feelings of hope? Like you get when spring comes, or the first snow of winter. Just a feeling that something better is coming. That something good is about to happen. But more than that, under that- there was a feeling of want and need. A new hunger was taking hold of me..
"Bree.." Her name was a whispered breath on my lips. Her name alone was precious to me, only to be eclipsed by the girl herself. I leaned in, she leaned in. I lowered my eyes to her full ruby red lips, she too looked down at my lips with the same longing. Unless it is a trick of my mind, she wanted me to kiss her as much as I wanted to. I could almost taste her. If I'm being honest with myself- I wanted to know her taste more than I've ever wanted anything in my life. All of a sudden, just as I was about to touch her beautiful lips with my own, a splashing sound, followed by a whooping came from the river causing Bree to jump back and for me to hiss in frustration.
"EDWARD, MY MAN! YOU GONNA KISS THE GIRL OR WHAT? GO EDDIE! GO EDDIE! GET YOUR FREAK ON!" My childish asinine brother was dancing around in the water. The fool even went as far as to pick up a fish from the river and make kissing faces at Bree and I. Rosalie looked as if she were between ripping his annoying head off and joining in at embarrassing me. I was hoping for the former option. My family sucks. In more ways than one.
Bree looked as if she wanted the ground to swallow her whole. I'm pretty sure if vampyers could blush, sweet Bree would have.
"Emmett would you please remember you are, for all intents and purposes, one hundred years old!" I hissed at the big ass.
"Awe hell, Eddie calm down. Sorry dude, didn't mean to ruin the moment there. We're leaving now. Just pretend we never crashed in on your FIRST ALMOST KISS! And with a real girl!" And with that the jackass ran past us, up the steps leading to the manor and inside. No doubt laughing his ass off.
"Well, that wasn't awkward at all." I smiled ruefully at Bree. Trying my best to smooth over the scene Emmett had made. If only I had been able to kiss her, then any embarrassment felt as a result of that would be, in my opinion, worth it.
"Edward, the necklace, it is so beautiful. It's too much, really. I I love it. I truly love.. it . Thank you." The way she was looking at me was almost as if she were sad about something. I didn't like that at all. When she was sad, I was sad. It seemed like our lives, mine and Bree's, were becoming so tightly intertwined. Over the last few months her joys have been my joys. Her worries, I too carried. When she was afraid, I would walk through fire to ease her mind. Her nightmares seem to have lessend some. Though I know she still has them, as my room is next to hers, she hides it from the others. Not an easy task in a family like ours. I just want to help her. To ease her pain and bring her happiness.
"Bree, is there something you want to talk about?" The want I have to take care of her has moved past that, and into need. I need to protect, care and help her.
" No. Just embarrassed I guess. You don't think Emmett and Rose will tell the others do you? About us almost..about finding us here."
I wondered if she was ashamed to be seen so close to me? Did she not feel the sparks between us? Was there no pull on her side? Had I made up the whole thing in my head because I wanted there to be more, yet there wasn't? I had never been so unsure of myself before. I didn't like it.
"Bree, I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable. And I will talk to Emmett and Rose if it will put your mind at ease." I tried to smile.
"Thank you, Edward. And no you didn't make me feel uncomfortable at all. I'm sorry, too. I don't want you to feel like you have to spend time with me or that you have to.. I don't know. Let's just forget it ok?" Ok? Was I ok forgetting about the almost kiss? The almost kiss with Bree, whom I am growing closer to every single second of the day? The one person who I seem to have found a solid connection with and who makes me feel like I have a purpose. Was I ok with forgetting all that? No.
"Whatever you would like Bree. But spending time with you is one of my favorite things to do. So, no worries about that. Now, would you like to come hunting with me? I'm about due and figured being a new born, so are you."
So, as Bree and I make the fifty foot jump across the Sol Duc river, I try and do what she asked: to forget about the feelings, wants and questions. But as I look at her smiling as she lands gracfully on the other side, her dark hair blowing out around her as she runs, her giggle when I catch up, I know I can't do as she asked. I can't forget because though my feet are set on solid ground, I know I am falling for her. But again, I try. For her, I try.
Journal entry:
Tonight changed everything. It has been four months since Bree came to us, or rather we came to her. And everyday my feelings for her have grown. While it's true we are natural born killers, superhuman killing machines built to survive, when a vampyer finds it's mate, it is game over. We are forever bound to the one. Soul mates for the souless, in a way. Once the connection is made- it is never broken. It is stronger than anything a human can comprehend. If a vampyer loses it's mate, rare though it is, if it does happen, the other vampyer will also fade away in time of great pain. Most starve themselves, though that will not kill them. They go mad and ask for death. Normally there is always someone in the vampyer world holding a grudge or willing to play executioner. Or if one really goes mad with loss, they will go to the Volturi: three brothers, oldest of our kind. If you could call us a court, the Volturi would be our kings. Our "Royals" if you will. Very dramatic, I know. As is such with our kind. Back to what set off the chain of events that lead me here and now.. watching over her sleeping form.
After the almost kiss, things became .. difficult for me. Watching over her, protecting her shifted into over-drive. I was consumed by my need to be closer to her. She seemed to be struggling as well. Though with what, I didn't know. Emmett and Rose kept quiet about what they saw. I think Emmett did it for Bree- realizing how hard a time she was having adjusting. But I should have known Alice would have seen. As soon as her little feet hit the driveway that day, she sought me out, asking me a million questions; Why didn't I try kissing her again? Why didn't I just come out with my true feelings? Why didn't I just take Bree to my meadow and kiss the hell out of her? All good questions, but I was being a coward. Also, Bree had made it clear she wanted to forget the whole thing.. not something one gains courage, confidence, or hope from.
But things came to a head last night.
I was in the sitting room playing some Chopin on my piano, trying to tame my nerves as Alice and Esme had taken Bree on a shopping trip to Port Angeles. This would only be the fourth time Bree had gone out with anyone other than myself. To say I was a wreck, would be an understatement. Alice had assured me nothing bad would happen, that I should trust her more. I knew she was right as Bree had been doing very well. In fact, she hadn't lost control since our trip to the park. Still I couldn't shake these feelings of worry. But I knew Bree needed more girl time, more time away from me. Ever since that day we almost kissed, she seemed to carry a heavy weight around her. It was in the way she looked off into nothing, the way she held herself, as if she must always be on her gaurd. I wanted her to be the playful, sweet, funny Bree I knew she was under all the self doubt. I also knew I loved her unconditionally, irrevokably, passionately so. But she had not shown any more signs that she felt the same. So I loved her from afar. But here I was missing her, worrying about her. My worry proved right when my cell rang. Isn't it funny how when something has happened the ringer sounds louder, more urgent..
"Hello?"
"Edward, you need to come now. It's Bree." That was all Alice needed to say. I heard Esme in the background talking to.. it sounded like a child crying. Was that Bree? Was she hurt? Or was she about to hurt someone else?
I didn't even tell the others anything. I just ran to my bike, jumped on and broke every law known to man. When I got to the Clallam County line I started to think about what might be waiting for me, and then as I entered Port Angeles, I spotted Esme's Black Audi A4. Somehow I knew where to go, the pull again. Only this time I knew Bree felt it too. She felt me coming. I drove down into a small two level parking garage behind DownRiggers Restaurant. As I got off the bike, I smelled her scent. Her wonderful scent that had somehow grounded me, yet set me free all at the same time. Then I heard the growl.
"Bree, please calm down. No one is going to touch you but please don't do this!" Alice's voice was panic. Alice never panics.
I rounded the corner and my heart sank. There sat my beautiful Bree on the dirty parking lot, holding a young girl who seemed to have fainted. Bree was rocking back and forth, her black eyes darting between Alice, Esme and her prey she embraced. As I got closer, Bree sensed me. Our eyes met and she let out a howling cry. I knew she was angry at me for coming. For seeing her like this but also because she knew her watcher, her friend, her.. Edward wouldn't let her do this. I wouldn't let Bree embrace the darkness that resides in all our kind. I wanted more for her. I wanted life for her, not death.
Slowly I walked closer to her. "Bree, what's going on? Who.. who do you have there?"
"Please." She cried.
"Bree, look at me. Please love look in my eyes." She looked up, cheeks stained red with her tears, eyes black as night from thirst. Fangs exposed. Even here at her worst, she was the most beautiful creature my eyes ever beheld. It wasn't her fault the torment she was going through. She was trying so hard.
"Edward?" She looked at me like she hadn't seen me in years instead of hours.
"Yes, love. I'm here. Now let me help you ok? Let me take the girl." I reached for the small child and Bree relashed a growl so deep I felt it in the air around us.
"No! You don't understand the pain! It's too much. If you care for me Edward, if I have ever.. if I ever meant anything to you- you will let me have this one." Her thirst was taking over.
"Bree, my love. I do care. I do. More than you can imagine. That is why I can't let you have her. Bree, you are so much more than this. You are so much more than your blood lust, more than your thirst. Don't let the demon inside take you. Fight it baby! Please.. come back to me." My whole world balanced on the edge of a knife. If she falls, I fall with her. I won't walk in the light while she crawls through the dark.
"Ah! It hurts! Kill me please Edward! Kill me before I do this!" Her tears were my tears. Her pain was my pain. I was a burning man.
"Never. I will not live in a world were you don't exsist. You fall, I fall."
"Why do you care? What am to you other than your project? I am your charge, you are my self-appointed watcher! Poor little Bree, pathetic little Bree always needing her babysitter Edward! WHY CAN'T YOU LET ME GO?" She screamed out in pain.
"Because I love you."
The air around us seemed charged. The Twilight sky above, the sounds, all seemed to have faded with my declaration. I felt the wettness on my cheeks, I felt my body trimble, but I didn't care. I moved forward. I got on my hands and knees and crawed to her. I would always crawl to her- over glass, fire, anything for her. She was staring at me, unmoving. So I was able to get nose to nose with her. Our breath mingled; honeysuckle and cherry blossoms. Foreheads touching, I wouldn't lose her now. I could no longer do as she asked and let it go, forget. Because if she killed now she would be changed more than she had when her body died that day so many months ago. Her soul, the soul I was so sure vampyers didn't have, would die. Bree's soul was beautiful. It was pure and was my proof that not all hope was gone for our kind. I didn't want it tainted with the blood of the innocent.
"Give me the girl, Bree. Please." She looked at me so long I thought maybe she was in shock. I could hear Alice and Esme crying, I could hear the water lapping at the banks below us. I could hear the slow heartbeat from the girl in Bree's pale arms. But none of that mattered. The girl before me held my eyes, my attention as she had since the moment I first laid eyes upon her. Bree looked down at the sleeping child, she ran a hand through the young girl golden curls before she lean down to the small face of the child. Alice stepped forward, Esme gasped but I put my hand up. Silently telling them to back off. I knew my girl and I knew it was going to be ok. Bree whispered how sorry she was, kissing the girl's forhead before handing her over to me. At which point I turned to Alice who was already there to wisk the child away.
I picked a crying Bree up into my lap. Whispering my own words of love, and sorrow.
"I am so proud of you my love."
"Did you mean it? Or was it just a ploy to get me to stop?" Her eyes had gone back to their brilliant ice blue that when I had first seen them one month earlier, reminded me of Monet's Water Lilies painting. The kind of blue that grips you. The kind of blue you lose yourself in. Or perhaps it was the girl behind the color that had me. I would like to think a mix of both were at play. No matter what it was, I was lost to it.
"Every word. If I live for an eternity, it still will not be enough time for me to show you how much I love you. If I live to see this world fade away, my love for you will remain, always. You are my mate in every way. My heart is yours for the taking." Her tears flowed once more. Though this time, I hoped it was from happiness and not the pain as before. Bree whipsered sofly. So soft that I feared I hadn't heard right;
"Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same." She quoted Emily Bronte . If I wasn't in love with her already, I would have fallen hard right at that moment. I couldn't wait any longer.
"May I kiss you?"
"Only if you mean it. Only if you promise to keep doing it forever." And so I did. Right there on the dirty parking lot floor I had my real first kiss with the only girl to have ever captured my silent heart. The only girl in world. My girl.
Her lips were soft as a rose petal and as sweet as candy. Her scent, her taste mixed with mine. It sent a charge through me. I knew I was now addicted. I would never get enough, it would never be enough. As we lost ourselves in the moment, a shifting to my right caught my attention. I looked up to see Esme looking at me with a motherly glow about her beautiful face. Tears were in her soft eyes. I pulled Bree close to my chest, hugging her while her eyes remained closed. She breathed in my scent much like I was doing hers.
"Esme?" I wanted to know what was on her mind, and in her heart.
"Now do you see? Why she effects you so strongly? Why she has always effected you? Mates, Edward. She was destined to be yours. Just as you have always been hers." Esme seemed to release a breath. As if to say 'Finally.'
"You knew didn't you? You knew all along we were going to be mated."
She only nods and smiles. Alice joins us a while later. Telling us the young girl is safe and seems to not remember anything about the last hour. I know I have many questions to ask Alice and Bree. But for now, I want to take my love away. Alone.
Standing up I reach out to lift Bree off the ground. She comes easily.
"Bree, would you care to take a ride with me? There is somewhere I would like to take you." Bree nods her head as well smiling up at me. Out of the corner of my eye I see Alice bouncing up and down.
Upon seeing Esme and Alice standing there with tears and smiles, Bree brings her small hand to her mouth. Her beautiful blue eyes wide, she looks so scared.
"Esme, Alice I don't know how to ever tell you how very sorry I am. You must think I'm a monster. I would understand if you wanted me gone from your family. If you didn't trust me. I honestly don't know what would have happened had you not be here for me. I am revolted by my lack of control and have no excuse for it. But I promise to work harder at controlling this new born rage." Looking down Bree waits to hear that we want her gone. No such words will ever be spoken.
Esme comes forward, stroking Bree's hair in a motherly manner that only Esme can offer.
"Bree, sweetheart, you have nothing to be sorry for because you fought against the thirst. You proved how strong you are, what a good heart you have. And sweet Bree, you are as much apart of my family as Edward or Alice..." Alice pops up beside Esme, finshing her thoughts..
"See, I told you so! We Cullens stick together. And when we love, we love forever..seeing as how we will live forever. But even if we didn't live forever, we would still love you for as long as we lived.. which of course is forever! So enough with this outsider nonsense. You are a Cullen through and through!" At this point Esme and I are laughing, Bree's smile is one of happiness and relief. Her giggles are back and I am a man in adoration.
Turning to face me fully, my love says, "Now about that bike ride.."
We bid Esme and Alice goodnight and take off for my meadow. The one place I have come to feel at home the most. I have known about this place for many years. It holds a peace I had never been able to find anywhere else, until I found Bree.
(The Meadow)
As I pulled up to the small peaceful clearing, Bree got off the bike and looked around the meadow. Even in the dark, the wild flowers with their little white, pink, blue and yellow buds could be seen by the lighting of the moonlit sky above. The meadow itself was almost a perfect circle. It gave the feeling of being completely cut off from the rest of the world. Like the trees that stood tall and strong around the meadow was gaurding you in a cocoon of protection. It really was a beautiful place, like something you would find in a Charles Perrault story.
"Edward, how did you ever find this place? It's .. enchanting!" She laughed while looking around in wonder.
"I came upon it by chance, really. Years ago I was out hunting a large mountain lion, I had tracked him to a little stream near here. After I had my fill of him, I noticed the clearing ahead of me seemed to be filled with sunlight. So I followed it and found this peaceful place. I've been coming here ever since. To think, clear my head, write in my journal. This place has been my safe heaven. Much like a child would have a treehouse, I have my meadow." I remember when we did not return to Forks for many years, how much I longed for this place.I was tempted on many occasions to come back just for my meadow.
"Will you tell me now what happened tonight?" I asked. Bree and I had been lying in the grass, her head resting upon my chest. I was running my fingers through her sweet, soft curls. She was humming a pretty tune, giving me ideas on a new piece for my piano.
"I just remember being in a shop with Esme and Alice. They were speaking with a sales woman about ordering a dress or something that they didn't have in stock. I heard a small whimper coming from outside. So I went to see what it was about. I found the little girl sitting under a bench. Her knees drawn up, she was crying. I asked if she was lost to which she only nodded. I was going to find her parents, Edward I swear. When I got a particularly large dose of her scent, the thirst hit me faster than ever before. I ran. I ran with the child. Thank God Alice saw, otherwise.. I don't know. I would have done something so evil. You would have hated me! I could ruined everything!"
"Shh love. You didn't. Everything is fine now. That's why you have us, your family. You don't think it was the same for all of us? That I didn't have to lean, rely and have the help of our family through my new born days? Bree, I was far worse than you could ever imagine. In fact, I am so thankful you didn't know me back then- you might not feel the same about me now."
"Edward Masen Cullen! Don't you ever think or say that again. I would love you no matter what! My love for you is..it's.."
"Irrevokable."
"Yes. How is it you know so exactly what I feel, and how I want to say it?"
"Because you are my mate in everyway. My heart and soul is yours. Without you, I am nothing. I would be nothing." I stroke her soft cheek.
We kissed and touched all night long. Telling one another our secrets, our desires and our hopes. I knew then, she would be my wife before the summer was gone.
That brings me back to here and now: My beauty lays in my arms, her head on my chest. Her dark hair all over my shoulder and the pillows. We spent all night talking, kissing and loving each other. I want to ask her to join her life with mine. To make it offical. To think things could have had a much different ending last night had I not been able to reach her in time. Had Bree not been strong enough to stop. I know without a doubt had that happened, had she killed that innocent child, I would have lost my love forever. Bree's heart is too pure to every be able to live with the guilt of such an act.
I pull her closer at the mere thought of never having her. Losing her would be my end for sure. We have bonded and nothing short of death can break that now. Even then, in the after life I would follow. There are fitting words by Leo Tolstoy that say "He felt now that he was not simply close to her, but that he did not know where he ended and she began." That is how I feel with her in my arms, in my heart. I may have started out as just her 'Watcher' teaching her how she can be more than her blood lust, more than a monster. But she showed me how to live. She brought me to life.
)*( ~Last day of Summer~
The Meadow is full of color from the wild flowers, the wind is blowing the warm air around us. Her hair is pulled up loosely with strains of soft curls moving in the breeze. The sunlight on her gown and skin makes her look as though she is an angel glowing. She is stunning. The family is all here, Esme and Carlisle stand holding hands- Esme dabs at her eyes while Carlisle smiles so big his face might just stick that way. Jasper stands beside me, only fitting my best friend is my best man. Alice stand next to Bree, bouncing on the balls of her tiny feet. No doubt counting down the minutes until she can hug Bree, offically calling her a Cullen. Rose looks on bored as always. But still she has grown to care for Bree in her own way. And Emmett, my big goof of a brother is the one to officiate my wedding to my love. Many promises, threats and deals were made to make sure Em was on his best behavior today. The dirty jokes, condoms, and the tubs of Flarp have been taking from him, thanks to Rosalie and Alice.. much to Emmett's displeasure.
But the only thing I see is Bree. God, she is more beautiful than anything my immortal eyes have ever beheld. Her dress only adds to her ethereal beauty. I said she would be my wife before summer's end and so shall it be: My wife. My mate.
We both say the vows we have spent the summer writing, declaring our love, our commitment in front of our family. But more importantly, it was the promise we made last night, in one another's arms. Making love, mixing our words with our bodies together in a union that will never be broken. Ours is a love eternal. I will continue to watch over her, she will continue to show me how to live- only now we do it as husband and wife.
~*~Love is not a union merely between two creatures - it is a union between two spirits.~*~
This was love at first sight, love everlasting: a feeling unknown, unhoped for, unexpected -in so far as it could be a matter of conscious awareness; it took entire possession of him, and he understood, with joyous amazement, that this was for life.
A/N I hope you enoyed that little one shot of mine. I want to express any and all thanks to those who might read this and leave a review. I fell in love with this story. I loved every second of writing this. It might not make your favorite list, it may not be up to some people's standards- that's ok. I learned a few things writing it. And I had the best time! I think that is what Fanfiction is all about :)
~~ This was love at first sight, love everlasting: a feeling unknown, unhoped for, unexpected -in so far as it could be a matter of conscious awareness; it took entire possession of him, and he understood, with joyous amazement, that this was for life.- quote by Thomas Mann
~~ Love is not a union merely between two creatures - it is a union between two spirits.-quote by Frederick W. Robertson