Guidelines for living with Devastator, a transformers fanfic

I had to do this one!

Once again, this is for Soundwave 0107 and his epic story called Combination :Blue/White!

I love writing Devestator!

Onward!

The Guidleines to living with a giant Ex-Decepticon!

Rule #1: Contrary to what my lovely daughter says, Devestator does NOT look like a kitty.

(So stop leaving balls of yarn in front of his hanger, offering him catnip, and trying to get him to chase string.)

(Although the visual of him batting about a giant ball of yarn in damn funny!)

Rule #2: If you are Galloway, never bring anything you like to base.

(Odds are Devastator will devour it.)

(Like your Mercedes, your S.U.V., your cell phone, your toupee...)

(The list goes on and on.)

Rule #3: Never, under any circumstances, say my Dad is uncool.

(Devestator is scary enough when he's just relaxing.)

(Imagine incredibly pissed off!)

("Rememeber the safety word is: RUN!")

Rule #4: To go with the above rule, never imply that Devastator is COOLER then my Dad.

(He may just start beating himself up..)

(But use that to your advantage.)

(While he is beating the living shit out of himself, you can run like hell and hope he doesn't find you.)

Rule #5: Watch what you say in front of or near him:

(Some of these you may remember..)

(He takes things way too seriously.)

* "File this under: Ouch." (I flew off my skateboard and smacked into a tank.) (I was okay but I made the mistake of saying that in my pain filled state.) (He ended up downloading a file onto the NEST main hard drive, naming it 'Ouch' and downloading the video of me smashing my face into the tank.) (Thanks, Devi...major blow to my ego.)

*"Dad, I could throw a brick at you." (I ran like hell when he literally roared at me.) (Dad sent him away to have some 'quiet time.')

*"He's so boring! He doesn't even get mad when I poke him!" (Fasbinder, stop poking at him!) (He's glaring...)

*"My chest hairs are tingling!" (Sam.) (Devstator then annouced to everyone, and I mean everyone, that Sam did not posses any 'tendrils of protein' on his chest.) (I nearly broke a rib laughing.) (Bee couldn't stand up, he was laughing so hard.) (Sam is still hiding in the Bot couch.)

*"My inner child is coming out and it HURTS!" (Little did I know, he had gone to fetch Ratchet and literally dropped him in front of me and Dad.) (The medic was not a happy bot.)

(He'll develop a sense of humor one of these days.)

(We can all hope anyway.)

Rule #6: Never decide to race your RC cars around the room, especially if Devi is in there.

(He ended up completely obliterating my little car...)

("You asshat! That thing cost me fifty bucks!")

(Yeah, never call him "Asshat.")

(FML!)

Rule #7: Never take his silence for stupididy..

(Yeah, Galloway..)

(Yet another car eaten...)

(*evil cackle*)

Rule # 8: Devestator is not a Hoover..

(So stop asking him to clean up the place...)

(Sarah...o.O.)

Rule #9: Just because he takes orders from my Dad, doesn't mean he'll take orders from me.

(Trust me, I've tried...)

(And tried.)

("Hey, I'm a Prime too!")

And finally, Rule #10: Do NOT insult any sort of Construction vehicles in front of Devi.

(You are basically insulting all nine parts of him.)

(And trust me, that is bad.)

(Very bad.)

(Run fast.)

All in all, living with a titanic Combiner is pretty simple!

All you need to remember is this:

My Dad is the beacon of awesome and coolness, so don't insult him in anyway, mock him, disobey him and everything shall be okie slash dokie!

Until all are one and a third,

Tatyana Topaz Prime!

There you have it!

Rules, my specialty!

Review!