Ruby red and diamond white

A/N: A couple of weeks back, I somehow caught the idea of starting a post RJ collection of unrelated Jane and Lisbon one-shots, short stories and/or drabbles. Because there's just so much more you can do and explore once Red John is out of the way :p These will mostly be in response to prompts, so they can be short or a bit longer, it depends on when and where inspiration strikes. The only thing they will have in common is the fact that they are set somewhere in a vague, post-RJ future.

Most (if not all) of them will also be distinctly light-hearted and fluffy. Heh.

As always, thank you to Autumn (watchyouwalk) for everything.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything even remotely related to The Mentalist. Title stolen from John Mayer.

-xxx-

01. Wager

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"The husband's not our guy," Jane stated as they left the object of their current discussion in the interrogation room, choosing to retreat to Lisbon's office instead.

"And how would you know?" Lisbon countered. "I like him as a suspect; he had motive and opportunity. We're not releasing him yet."

"Suit yourself, but the man's innocent."

She leaned against her desk as Jane wasted little time in making himself comfortable on her couch, stretching and idly staring up at the ceiling.

"Okay, you've managed to peak my curiosity, so I'll bite. What exactly are you basing this theory on?"

"Boss?" Rigsby gave a quick knock before walking in. "We checked with some of Mr Thompson's colleagues. He was definitely at the conference until about 1pm, after which none of them actually remember talking to him and being able to put a specific time on it. However, he was seen leaving the hotel around 2:30 with a woman named Joanna Irvington, who we haven't been able to contact as of yet."

"So his alibi is dubious at best," Lisbon shot a half-victorious look in Jane's direction. "The conference was 10 minutes from his house, he could have easily gone back and forth without anyone really noticing he was gone."

"I'm telling you, he didn't kill her," Jane repeated. "Strangling is a crime of passion, and I can inform you right now that Mr Thompson didn't love or care about his wife nearly enough to rid himself of her in such a way. On top of which, there's quite a lot of strength required for manual strangulation - it typically demonstrates the disparity in physical strength between the assailant and his victim, yet the husband has very soft hands. His handshake is awfully weak, especially considering he's a businessman, which I found to be rather strange."

Lisbon stared at him somewhat disbelievingly while Rigsby's lips quirked upwards into a small smirk, gauging his boss' reaction out of the corner of his eye.

"Soft hands?" Lisbon summarised incredulously. "You're ruling him out as a suspect because he has soft hands?"

Without waiting for his objection, she shook her head slightly and called Cho into her office.

"Cho, go talk to the victim's sister, will you? See what you can discover about the Thompsons' relationship. She lived with them, so she's bound to have noticed if there were some kind of marital problems."

"Who you should really be talking to again," Jane interrupted, sitting upright, "is the family's gardener. He and Mrs Thompson were having a sordid affair and I have reason to believe she had recently dumped him, so there's your motive."

"We have nothing to substantiate that charge with - it's just your assessment," Lisbon said irritably.

"You have to admit there's something not right about this entire story he's fabricated. He supposedly arrives at the house to find the back door has been broken down and the kitchen's a downright mess. Naturally, he suspects there's something wrong when he calls out to Mrs Thompson and she fails to respond. After which he goes upstairs to check it out, and he happens to find the lovely lady's body? Now, why didn't he just call the police when he noticed the break-in? It just doesn't make much sense - most people don't deliberately run into the arms of danger." He paused, looking around the room at the three agents all staring back at him wearing a faintly sceptical look. "Present company excluded, of course."

"All right," Lisbon sighed. "I'll agree to the fact that it's strange, but it's not enough to arrest the guy and it hardly makes him a murderer."

"Honestly, I'm willing to bet you a large sum of money that I'm right.," Jane persisted.

"Yea, I don't do bets. Especially not with you."

"Come on, Lisbon, live a little. I'm right about this."

"But you could be wrong," she stubbornly pointed out.

"When have I ever been wrong?" Jane retorted, his tone of voice betraying his rising frustration.

"Trust me, the day will come and when it does, I'll be first in line to mock you all week."

"Well, I'll look forward to that. In the meantime, could we just reach a consensus here?"

"Oh, fine. I'll humour you." The senior agent shot him her standard doubtful look while letting out a sigh before turning her attention back to Cho and Rigsby. "You two can go to the gardener's house – what was his name again?"

"Levi Mitchell," Cho offered up, briefly consulting the file in his hands.

"Right. See if you can get anything more out of him. I'll have Van Pelt run a full background check."

"Wait," Jane piped up. "So what exactly are we betting here? What do I get when it turns out he's our killer?"

"You'll get the satisfaction of being right. That should be more than enough to please your ego." She couldn't resist a small smirk. "What do I get when it turns out you're wrong?

"I'm not wrong; it won't be necessary."

"Well, that's convenient, isn't it?"

"Oh, all right," Jane suddenly said in exasperation. "If it turns out, against all possible odds, that you're right and I'm wrong..." he paused, racking his brain. "Then I'll sleep with you."

There was a sudden, stunned silence, and Jane noticed with some amusement that it took less than five seconds for Lisbon's cheeks to grow warm and her mouth to drop ever so slightly. A dozen different responses and comebacks immediately sprang to mind, but despite her temper flaring up, she appeared to be too shocked to form a coherent sentence.

Rigsby, in the meantime, was trying very hard to stifle his laughter when he caught sight of the death glare his superior was now aiming at their consultant.

Cho was the first to simply turn his attention away from Jane's grinning face to address Lisbon instead.

"So, boss, do you want us to bring the sister down here for questioning on our way back?"

Lisbon snapped out of her reverie and shook her head, confusion replacing the irritation evident in her gaze.

"Uh, no, that's okay. I have her number here somewhere, I'll simply set up a time for her to come into the office. I can't imagine why she wouldn't want to come down willingly."

"Okay," Cho replied, turning to Rigsby and motioning towards the door. Making their way out, Jane easily walked in line, attempting to slip out casually.

"Jane, a word?"

As expected, Lisbon's stern, almost menacing voice halted his escape, causing Rigsby to shoot him an amused look over his shoulder that suggested he was most likely in trouble. Jane merely beamed back at him before closing the door and turned around wearing his most angelic smile.

He was surprised to find her standing right behind him and flinched as she smacked him hard on the arm.

"Ow! That one actually hurt." There was way too much strength residing in that small body of hers.

"Not nearly enough! What the hell was that?" she demanded angrily. "That comment was completely inappropriate, unprofessional and worst of all, incredi-"

Before the feisty brunette could finish her sentence, she was cut off by Jane's lips pressing lovingly against hers. He rested one hand on the back of her neck, pulling her closer to him as she melted into the kiss despite her best efforts, letting a shiver shake her body.

It didn't last long, however, before common sense took over and Lisbon regained her composed frame of mind, pulling away with an annoyed look still vaguely recognisable beneath her flustered expression.

"Relax. None of them suspect a thing." Jane kept his arms comfortably settled around her waist. "They're all completely oblivious; there's no need to worry."

"That doesn't mean you should give them a reason to be suspicious! And let me go - we're at the office and we agreed not to act any differently here."

"Actually, I believe you ordered me not to behave differently, and I was left with no choice in the matter."

"Same thing."

"This could've been the ideal opportunity to tell them, you know. I thought I lead you in quite nicely there, all you had to do was finish it off." He teased, letting her slip out of his grasp.

"Right, and what would you have wanted me to say? 'No need to say you'll sleep with me - we already are. Surprise, guys?'," she mocked.

"Something like that. Improvisation is a wonderful skill."

He leaned closer, quite clearly intent on stealing another kiss, but she merely gave him a weak punch on the shoulder before turning around to take a seat behind her desk. A sigh escaped her lips as she opened up the file, leafing through the different papers in search of the phone number she needed, her professional persona back in place.

"Why are you so sure the gardener did it, anyway?" She enquired distractedly.

He shrugged, "I don't like the guy."

"You don't like anyone," she countered, hardly deeming it a viable reason for accusing someone of murder.

"Well, that's not true. I happen to be extremely fond of you," he pointed out with a smile that gently tugged on her heart. "Though you know, I think I might actually be wrong about this one."

He started walking backwards in the general direction of the door, a flicker of amusement crossing his face when Lisbon looked up in confusion. "I mean, I'm never too sure about any of my 'guesswork' - as you so lovingly call it - and who's to say I didn't set up this whole exchange just to make you blush that truly lovely shade of pink? I find it endearing."

"You wouldn't," she threatened, narrowing her eyes at him while trying to discern how much truth there was to his words.

"Oh, I most definitely would and you're well aware of that. Which perfectly explains the slightly anxious look etched on your face right now." His eyes gleamed mischievously, his grin practically reaching all the way up to his ears. "If it turns out I was wrong, I might have to declare to the others that I wouldn't mind keeping my promise. I have to say, I'm looking forward to seeing you weasel your way out of that one."

Jane laughed, ducking out the door quickly to avoid the unidentified flying object being launched in his direction. He strolled through the bullpen, still chuckling when he reached his beloved couch.

"You want to tag along when we go see this guy?" Rigsby asked from across the room while putting on his jacket.

"Uh, no. I think I'll sit this one out. I have a pretty good feeling how it's going to go." The blonde smiled while closing his eyes, thinking there were definitely a couple of other tactics that would prove useful in making his favourite blush appear on that exquisite face of hers.

-xxx-

Lisbon actually groaned the minute she saw Cho and Rigsby appear around the corner leading a sobbing, handcuffed gardener by the arm into the nearest interrogation room. She walked out of her office, meeting them in the hallway, shooting a 'what the hell?' expression in their direction.

"We caught him basically packing up and emptying his house, stuffing his trunk full of suitcases. He was obviously trying to make a run for it, hadn't expected us." Cho explained the details of the arrest. "He confessed quite easily after that and basically hasn't stopped crying since. It's a mess."

She let out an involuntarily sigh, not realising her features had settled on something that closely resembled a pout.

"Sorry, boss. Turns out Jane was right yet again," Rigsby said, not bothering to hide the amused smirk this time.

"Great. There'll be no living with him after this."

"Look on the bright side," Cho reasoned dryly. "At least you won't have to sleep with him."

Lisbon blushed in spite of herself, averting her gaze for fear of giving herself away too easily, though she wasn't entirely sure how much good that would do at this point.

"Right. Thank God for that," she replied, giving a shaky laugh before quickly changing the subject. "I'll let you take his statement, then. I'll go inform Mr Thompson in a minute that we caught his wife's killer."

She dismissed both agents with a nod and turned around, noticing Jane in the middle of his tea-making ritual in the break room. As she approached him silently, she opened up one of the cupboards in search of her own coffee mug.

"Oh hey, Lisbon. What's up?" He asked nonchalantly without turning away from the task at hand.

"Judging by the smug grin you're barely keeping at bay, I'd guess you already know."

"I must say, you're particularly cute when you're annoyed. But really, there's no need to be so grumpy." He put the milk back in the fridge before placing his tea bag carefully inside the cup and pouring boiling water on top. "After all, at least now you won't have to think of a suitable excuse or elaborate story to explain to the team. I was right, so I won't have to sleep with you."

He took another step closer, leaning in to whisper in her ear.

"Unless that's why you're in such a sour mood? Because you know I'd be more than happy to pretend later on that you won our little wager."

Lisbon nearly choked on her coffee when he reached out and gently caressed her cheek with his thumb, a distinct sinful gleam lighting up his eyes. She anxiously turned around, letting her eyes scan the immediate vicinity to guarantee that no one had heard Jane's whispered words or seen his very public sign of affection.

But before she had a chance to lecture him and claim he really was going to give her a heart attack one of these days, Jane was already en route back to his beloved couch, silently adding another blush to his quota for the day.

-xxx-