Whats up, random people who I probably don't know! It's chapter 5 now, isn't it? HERE IS WHERE PLOT SHALL ADVANCE!Hmm...I need to think about who will be invaded next. Suggestions are always welcome. Not England or Japan. I need them alive for now.
Heh...its been a few months, da? *embarrassed* okay, I have my reasons. I would have uploaded earlier, but I was out of town.

"America."

"America!"

Dude, boss-guy is calling for ya.

"Go away..." I half mumbled, half snored. All I really wanted to do was to sink down onto the bed and be like...like...like...whatever my brother's name is. Yeah. Invisible. With England being a piece of shit, Russia being a commie bastard, and Voice over here being Voice-

Hey!

- I just wanted to scream. but heroes don't scream. Unless it was a scream of victory.

"America, are you going to wake up or not?"

Mr. Boss was being a bossy bitch today, eh? "What the hell do you want?"

Hey, have you ever assassinated a president?

No, but I would like to try assassinating a figment of ones own imagination. It sounds like fun.

You don't mean me, right?

...

Anyways, boss man threw a bunch of papers and crap onto my bed, in which I was trying to get some sleep on. He cleared his throat.
"Well, the government was wondering if we should put guards around Alaska, in case Russia tries to invade-"

Meh. It's not like I care anymore. "He won't invade America. He wouldn't do something like that against the hero." I waved my hand at them carelessly. Well, more like flopped it at them. hey, I was half asleep. He and his companion gave me strange looks. Then, they turned and left. On normal circumstances, Russia would be overjoyed to have successfully conquered USA. Then again, this isn't a normal circumstance.

Obviously.
England's gonna be miffed when he finds out, you know.

"Eh, he deserves it. The drunk bastard."

Right about then, my cell started ringing. guess what? For once it wasn't England preaching up my arse. Sadly, however, the call was from Russia. Which was almost as bad as England.

"Hello, Amerika. How's things going?"
"Suckish." And it's all your-and Voice's- fault.
Jackass.
"Oh. hey, can you do me a favor?"
"No." What, did he actually think I would do stuff for him?
"But you have to. Alliance, remember?" You could hear the smart-ass-ness in his voice.
I sighed. "Then what was the point of asking?"
"You'd say no either way."
He's got a point there, though, bighead.
Shut up. "Fine...what do you want?"
"Invade Canada."
I scratched my head. "Who?"
"The country who is on top of America geographically."
Oh. That guy. "Why me?"
"Alaska's in the way. And I don't want any of my planes shot down on accident. Plus no one would expect me invading Canada before China. Oh, and your closer. I've been doing all the work. Turkey and the Baltics ... Kazahkstan...da, she was simply delighted to come along with me. You know she still holds repercussions from the Cold War, da? When I dragged her to my place, she literally screamed bloody murder..."

Do you even know how to invade a country?
Of course I do.
Well, you never act like you do. Your such a wuss when it comes to violence. want me to help?
"NO."
"But Amerika..."
"What? oh, I didn't mean to you. I'm multitasking."
"Well then, you invade Canada, da?"
"Will you hang up if I do so?" he was starting to get annoying.
"Probably."
"Sure."
Click.

LATER...

Canada's house was nice. Not as modern and heroic as mine, but pretty. Maple trees over there, lilies over here,etc.
"Hey, Canada, open the door." With a gun hidden in my jacket, I was going to see if he would happily go along with this before I had to hurt him.

Why would he? How often do you agree to be tied up and thrown into a closet?

Voice, he's Canada. I figured it'd be a lot better if I didn't barge in all "RAWR!YOUR COMING WITH ME!HEIL HITLER!" like Germany back in WW2.
Wonderful impression of Nazi!Germany, Alfred.
Thanks. I've been working on that one. Do you want to hear my Commie Russia impersonation?
You kept showing me that one back in the Cold War.
You know, in Soviet Russia...
Shut up.
"Ah! America! You actually came to my house for once!" Canada was smiling. brothers. they make me feel so warm and fuzzy.
Pfft.
Stop laughing. Back to Canada.
"For once? I always come over!" I high-fived him.
"No you don't. You haven't visited in counting your five-year period of isolation from the world, where u came over to make sure you weren't dead."
Well, that was blunt.

Canada began hopping up and down eagerly. "So, what should we do, eh? we could play hockey, or watch a movie, and I could make pancakes!"
Oh dear god, he was like a little kid.
I tried 's hard to do when you know you have to kidnap your brother. "Your pancakes are great, Mattie."
He turned and looked at me. "Are you ok, Alfred? You look kind of pale."
What? "No, not really." hey, it was true. Haven't really been feeling well since a certain FIGMENT OF MY IMAGINATION started sharing space with my mind.
You do know I heard that, right?
"You deserve to hear that."
"What was that?"
CRAP I SPOKE OUT LOUD AGAIN!
You'd think that in the 30+ years we've been together you would learn not to do that.
Ergh. I smiled at Matthew. "Nothing, I was thinking of something someone told me." That sounded plausible, right?
Eh. Hey, when are we gonna take him?
Shut up.
If you want, I can help.
"NO!" I yelled at Voice. Except I said that out loud. To Mattie.
shit.
30+ years...
"Look," I said, staring down at the floor. "Really, all I came here for was because Russia wants me to invade you."
He stared at me in horror. "R-Russia...then.."
"Pretty much. Long story, I'll explain it later. So, since I don't want any violence, if you could just hop in the car-"
Canada had scooted closer to the phone.
"Canada, your not going to call England...right?" he can't.
Of course he can, dumbass.
England would-
He picked up the phone and started dialing. The thing is, I knew the number. 704... "Don't call England. Don't. Please, Canada.."
7-9-5...6...
"England...England...get over here...quick...-"
No. I whipped out my gun.
Ah,your actually going to shoot? That's new.
I shot it, just grazing Canada's hand. It was enough to drop the phone out of his hand. There were tears at his eyes. he ran.
"Canada, wait!" I started running after him.
You call this capturing Canada? God, where went the America i thought I knew? Or are you just a softie when it comes to family?
"Not the time, voice."
You know what, screw it, I'm coming in.
"Wait,what?"
Ow! A flash of pain seared through my body. I fell to the ground. What the hell is voice-

Voice POV

I steadied myself. I did it.

Did what?

YES! This is a day I will forever remember. Anyways, back to the pipsqueak.

You mean Canada?

Yeah.

And why are you-

Anyways, I ran after him, much faster than a certain someone.

What the hell? Why can't I move?

You'll get used to it. I was gaining on him. He dashed into a room. He had hidden.
"Ca~na~da...where are you?" I purred.
God, stop that. You're so annoying.
Now do you see what I deal with EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY?
You have my sympathy. Except I still have no damn clue what just-
I heard a crash coming from the closet. they always hide in the closet. Typical.
You know that how?
I just do. Now shut up so we can get to the good part of this thing.
But-
ANYWAYS, I picked up some rope that just so happened to be on the ground-
Dammit, could you at least tell me what's going on?
-no, I can't. Figure it out on your own.
Voi-
One more word and I'll murder the blasted Canadian.

Didn't see that coming, huh? Transitioning from America to Voice was part of the reason it took me forever to update.

America is such a wuss. (Lapushka-not you! The other America! 3)

Kazahkstan- Russia left it with a lot of eviromental issues, because they used it as a nuclear testing ground. America kinda-sorta (I can't remember how much anymore) helped her get back on her feet. Now, her relationship with Russia is better, but she still prefers working with America. Did i mention her earlier? IDK. Anyways, i honestly think she's a girl. Like, in geography, first talked about Kazahkstan, BAM! Girl. She's going to be talked about a lot, mainly because I have this newfound obsession with her.

Oh, have you guys noticed I say 'Meh' a lot? Its my universal response to anything. Sorry, its a bad habit of mine, so every now and then I'll let it slip in the story. ()

BTW, TAKE MY NEW POLL. PLEASE. not like it has anything to do with the story, but...