Title: Backseat Driver

Author: A. Windsor

Pairing/Characters: Callie/Arizona

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. My one semester of law school could allow me to legalese this a little more, but it also tells me it's pretty useless. So please don't sue; it's not mine, I'm just playing!

Series: AU!verse

Summary: "Are we lost?" "Not now, Teo."

Author's Note: Just a tiny fluffy little thing in the AU!verse. Written for and beta'd by the absolutely wonderful, terribly snarky roughian. Yes, I made her beta her own present. I hope it made you feel better, you weirdy reindeer.


"They're late."

"Arizona..."

"No, they're probably dead on the side of the road somewhere."

"Arizona!" Callie admonishes, not wanting to even think about that.

Arizona lets out a sigh and looks over her shoulder towards the driveway, sipping on her wine.

"I know, I know. They're probably just in traffic-I know! But our whole lives are in that car, Calliope. And I know, he's a good driver, and I know, he would never, ever, let anything happen to his brother and sisters. Intellectually, I know."

"I get it," Callie says gently, squeezing her hand. "But his face? When we said yes? I mean, he was so excited. What kind of sixteen-year-old wants his first solo outing with his driver's license to be taking his siblings to a matinee of a Disney movie? We did good."

"You're right."

"We could call? I'm sure Lena would answer and tell us to stop worrying."

"No, no. I don't want to distract him."

"So, are we just going to sit here and wait?"

"Yep. Because I called being the crazy one today."

"Okay," Callie agrees gently, leaning over to kiss her wife's cheek. "I get it tomorrow."

"Deal."


"Are we lost?"

"Not now, Teo."

"We're so lost," thirteen-year-old Lena comments from the front seat.

"Lena," Asa growls. "Not now, okay?"

"How did you get lost on the way home from the movie theater?" Lena presses.

"Asa, I have butterflies," seven-year-old Teo says nervously, hands drumming nervously against his knees in time with the radio.

"'Stáa bien, hermanito," [It's okay,] Lena says gently, losing her attitude as she shifts around flashes him a warm smile. "We're just a little turned around, okay?"

"We'll figure it out. Cari, talk to him about the película," Asa orders, earning a huff from their ten-year-old middle sister.

Asa feels kinda stupid, admittedly, but driving a car by himself is pretty nerve-wracking, and maybe he missed a turn or two, and now it is starting to get dark.

"Maybe we should just call Momma," Lena offers, backing off the bickering when she notices how stressed he is. When he makes a face, she continues, "Or turn on the GPS?"

"It's broken in this car, remember?"

"Oh right."

"Just give me a sec, Lena," Asa says, taking a deep breath and scanning the street signs for landmarks.

"Okay, okay. Sorry," Lena quiets.

"You missed your turn four stoplights ago," Caroline finally speaks up from the back. "Pull a U-turn, make the fifth left, and you'll start to recognize it."

Lena turns fully around in her seat, and Asa glances back at the dark-haired girl in the rearview mirror.

"You didn't think to help out a little earlier, hermanita?" Asa grimaces. "And how do you know that?"

Caroline shrugs. "I'm good at directions. We always turn right at the Wendy's. You told us not to backseat drive."

"Caroline..." Asa complains as he pulls into a nearby parking lot to make a big turn. Not quite ready for a real U-turn yet. "No more butterflies, Teo. We're going home."

"Where have you been?" Arizona demands as soon as Asa opens the car door. She tries not to sound too crazy-mom, but she is in fact waiting in the garage for them, so she might as well embrace it.

"Asa got us lost," Caroline tattles, hopping out of the backseat, Teo at her heels.

Teo runs immediately to his momma and throws his arms around her waist.

"I thought we were never coming home."

Arizona can only laugh, the tension draining from her frame as she leans down to kiss the top of Teo's head.

"Well, I'm glad you did."

"I see my car is in one piece," Callie says to Asa, walking around the SUV appraisingly.

Callie's the car person in the family; she picked out every vehicle they own and treats them all almost as well as she treats their children.

Asa grins with relief and drops the keys into Callie's waiting hand.

"Yes, ma'am."

"Did you know that Cari has a GPS super power?" Lena asks as they all start to file into the house.

"What?" Callie asks, putting an arm around the slim shoulders of their third child.

"She does. She's really good with directions," Asa speaks up. "If only she'd used it a little earlier..."

"No one asked me!" Caroline complains.

"So, tell me all about the movie," Arizona demands.

"Oh, Momma. You'd love it!" Teo takes it from there, grabbing some support from his fellow gregarious ham, Lena, as they re-create the epic-ness of their outing as Callie starts dinner.

Arizona oversees the setting of the table with Teo and the girls while Asa plays sous-chef in the kitchen.

"You did good," Callie says softly to the lanky boy, bumping his hip softly with her own. He's fast approaching six-foot and she has to look up at him. "I always figured you'd have trouble with directions. Your nose is always in a book whenever we go out in the car. That's why Caroline's so good at it; she's always watching- everything. You'll pick it up eventually. And I'll get the GPS fixed in that car, promise."

Asa blushes a little and continues to cut up some veggies for the salad.

"Gracias, Mami."

"De nada, m'ijo."

"And thanks for letting me take the car. It was pretty cool."

Callie watches with a proud smile. He's turning into such a wonderful young man. She can't wait to see his face when his abuelito pulls into the driveway in that certified pre-owned car tomorrow morning. Carlos, of course, wanted to surprise his eldest grandchild with a brand new car, but Arizona put her foot down; she understands that this is a milestone, and frankly they need a third driver and a third car to keep up with everyone's schedules, but no way is her baby boy going to be that obnoxiously spoiled teenager. Spoiled? Certainly. Obnoxiously so? Never.

"Happy Birthday, Ace. Did you like the movie?" Callie presses.

"Sure," Asa shrugs, desperate to be nonchalant.

She smirks and doesn't push further; few sixteen-year-old boys are going to cop to an affinity to Disney movies, even if he definitely has one. Instead, she calls over her shoulder to Teo, Lena, and Arizona:

"You three can do your table-setting dance all you want, but if you break my plates, you're cleaning it up!"


el fin