Disclaimer: As much as I love the Winchester brothers, I do not own them.

A.N: I was thinking about the infamous line in Metamorphosis and my mind went off. I was like there has got be some Limpage that I can play with. This is the result. Major, major Limpage follows. That and it's been awhile since I wrote a multi-chapter story and wanted to do that again. (And the fact that I haven't written a serious S4 fanfic yet. I think I have sorta silly one. I haven't even thought of a story for S1 or S3 so I hope to get an idea for those seasons sometime. A shame not to have at least one fanfic for each season, don't you think?)

As usual with multi-chapter stories, I have it all done, but give me a couple of days to upload. Thanks.

Warning: This does deal with the mind going off and not in a good way... So at times we could get an M rating. Nothing explicit. I can't really explain, but just know that sometimes, you might need a more mature view to understand what's going on. And I guess there is some suicidal tendencies in this as well. I just feel like I should say something in reference to a warning for this story.

Summary: Takes place shortly after S4.4 Metamorphosis and before YF. For the longest time in his life, he felt warm. Then Dean died, and he felt cold, but then he warmed when Dean came back. But now something threatens to make him colder than ever before. LimpSam; Later GuiltyProtectiveDean

Prologue: The Coldness Within

Just because you are breathing, it doesn't necessary mean you are alive.

There is more to being alive then just a monotonous in and out motion.

And just because your heart is beating doesn't mean that you are alive either.

There is more to being alive then just a thump-thump of a sound that echoes 24/7.

Sam found that out the hard way when Dean died.

His heart still beat within in chest, and his breath still came out of his nose.

But he wasn't alive.

His heart, body and soul died the day Dean took his last breath.

After that, he just existed.

Merely existed going through motions, finding a way to survive.

Desperately finding a way to survive.

He tried to find a way to get Dean back.

Even if it meant only an exchange of places.

Oh, how he tried, but he soon he knew that it was a lost cause.

So he found another away to survive. It seemed like it was the only thing that helped him survive.

Helped him continue the war his family started long time ago.

So he existed with the thump-thump and the in-out but he wasn't alive.

He wasn't warm either.

He had grown cold.

His mind, body and soul had ceased to produce any semblance of warmth.

And we are not talking about mere physical warmth.

It was cold.

And everywhere Sam turned, all he saw was ice for miles around.

A frozen Arctic tundra.

There was no fire.

No nothing.

Nothing.

But then, Dean came back, unexpectedly yet it made Sam no less happy and slowly, a fire began to rebuild within Sam's chest.

And soon the ice melted, and warmth was able to steal into his being again.

The tundra melted.

And soon he felt more alive than he had in four months.

He was alive.

And the thump-thump and in-out meant more than just simple functions.

But then it seemed that the fire threatened to go out.

Again.

The fire he just got back.

It's already gone too far, Sam. If I didn't you know... I would wanna hunt you.

The look of sheer disappointment in Dean's eyes, the disgust that Sam saw there, made his being slowly regress.

Dean's reaction was worse than any action he would have inflicted on Sam.

And he slowly felt himself grow colder and colder.

And this coldness seemed worse than when Dean died.

Much, much worse.

It was losing Dean it the worst possible way.

And Sam feared that more than anything.

But he didn't know if he could fix it.

So, he just grew colder and colder.

And maybe this time, that coldness would engulf him completely.

TBC….