Preliator:
Love is a four lettered word. Obsession is nine.-BelLit.
The land shadowed.
The Earth evil,
Those who sow seeds of his travel.
Why be guilty? -"Preliator" by Globus
It was at the point, where he could no longer convince himself that they were friends.
They were enemies.
In her cruel eyes, he was only a rival for her brother's love. In his eyes, she was nuts to think that considering the fact that he was pretty much sure that he didn't even like Russia in the first place. In both their eyes, it was a doomed concept.
Still, he pressed on.
Still, he continued to believe that they had some sort of friendship going on. Still, he continued to believe that he may one day have a chance to actually press a gentle kiss on those soft, pale lips. Still, he continued to have those nightly dreams where they continued to hug and kiss under the full, white moon.
Still, he continued to believe.
Imagination was a powerful thing.
As was ignorance.
When she had broken his fingers, he had forgiven her. When she slammed his arm in a car door, he had forgiven her. When she had thrown his dog into oncoming traffic, he had forgiven her. When she had stabbed him, he had forgiven her.
At this moment, he drops his fountain pen to tenderly touch the healed scar that made its way across the left side of his hip, near his pelvis.
This feeling, he had for the girl, he had no idea what it was. He was a nation. They felt emotions, but they did not feel them truly like a true human being. They were not human after all, they were nations – the body, heart and soul of a nation. They guided their people; helping them when they fell down and not stopping them when they started on their way to self discovery.
They were nations, and that would be all they would be until they too fell to the hands of someone else.
Was this feeling...Was this feeling he felt. Was this feeling he felt the feeling of one thing called love?
Or was it obsession?
As a nation, he was not allowed to love. As a nation, he was only allowed to serve.
Love did not come into the equation.
Love could not come into the equation.
But obsession could.
He found out long ago, what an obsession was. It was the complete control of one's thoughts or feelings by some idea, image or person. That had to be it. As long as he had known her, she had always been in his thoughts.
It is here, he comes to notice that it is snowing.
And if he remembered correctly, she too had an obsession. With her older brother. She proclaimed day after day that they would be married. The chances of her dreams coming true had only been increased when she had been forced into the House when her nation collapsed to Soviet control. And even when the Soviet Union collapsed and he and the others were freed at last, she had stayed.
And when she stayed, he knew he had to stay too.
It was all under the pretence that Russia was too weak to stay by himself. But then years had passed and he still had not left. He still lived in his own home but he still frequented the Slavic nation's home often. After all, old habits did die hard.
Suddenly, he is broken from his trance when someone enters his room.
Though, he knew she knew. She would send him glares while she made her way slowly down the hall; the skirt of her dress billowing around her ankles. She was so beautiful, but at the same time, lethal and deadly.
Maybe one day, she could be his. Maybe, one day she would give up her obsession for her brother. Maybe, one day, she would be in his arms willingly instead of her brother's by force.
She was a dangerous creature, he knew that. He still knows that. But he still continues to obsess over her. He wants her, but he knows that he cannot have her. He is known for his restraint. He would give her time. Someday, if he was lucky, she would be his.
Given time, the obsession would fade into love. Given time, all would right.
And until that time happens, he would continue to live in the world of ignorance, in where all is happy and the world is not dying by human touch and where he continues to sink into an infinite hole of complete blackness that is known as madness.
"Lithuania?"
"Y-Yes Raivis?"
"You're thinking about her again aren't you?"
"W-What makes you say that?"
Suspicion was written all over the younger's face. He turned away. "...Russia would like to see you."
Maybe someday, he would get his happy dream. To be with the one he lived and still have to his sanity to boot. But at the end of the day, it would all be fruitless.
And at the end of the day, Love would still be spelled with four letters and Obsession spelled with nine.
And at the end of the day, he would still be descending farther.
Author's Note:
Lol, fail drabble is fail.