Gossip Mill Fodder

Disclaimer: My name is Anemone, and I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist

Dedicated to Riri-Lala-Kiki because… I love her. What other reason do I need?

"So, I heard something interesting in the lounge today."

Roy looked up from his mountain of paperwork, pen stopping mid-signature. "Do tell," he prompted knowing it had to be something good for Riza to interrupt his work.

"It seems certain military officers are under the impression that you'll chase anyone in a short skirt." Riza said with a small smile, brown eyes shining with amusement.

"Oh?" He quirked a brow in interest. There had to be more to this rumor since, after all, Roy Mustang being the Womanizer of Central was not new fuel for the gossip mill.

"Fuery put a stop to that by reminding all who were present of the time he played the role of "Kate" to con information out of those sleazy men who helped produce fake Philosopher's stones. Apparently, in all that time he had to parade around in a dress, you never hit on him."

"He did make an enticing woman, though." Roy admitted with a smirk. "And after that?" He prompted.

"Falman suggested that you only go for blondes." Riza informed.

"And that was put to rest since I have yet to make a pass at the now legal Miss Rockbell." Roy mused. "And I don't plan to," he added when onyx eyes saw the woman's fingers inch toward her gun.

"I didn't think so." Riza Hawkeye wasn't the type to let someone take what was hers.

"So, what else did their bored minds concoct?" He questioned, signing another unimportant document with unnecessary flourish.

"They seem to think you only go for blondes in the military. But that was shot down when both Havoc and I informed them that you haven't made passes at us." She smirked before amending her statement. "Well you haven't made passes at me."

"I didn't come on to Havoc because of how good he filled out a military uniform." Roy informed her.

Riza dismissed the topic with a wave. She honestly didn't care what attracted the Colonel to his men. "They're now convinced that-." Her sentence was cut short by a loud bang.

The door to the office burst open and any chances Roy Mustang had of enjoying his peaceful day were shattered. Into the room sauntered Edward Elric, red coat billowing out behind him revealing tight-in-all-the-right-places leather pants, black jacket and black undershirt. Several strands of hair had escaped the grasp of red elastic and blond braid.

Golden eyes gleamed with amusement as Ed said, "I heard some interesting fodder for the gossip mill."

Roy looked to Riza who wore an amused smirk. It was times like this that the Colonel cursed Fullmetal's timing.

"Care to share?" Roy coaxed.

Edward's lips pulled into a smirk. "Well, normally I wouldn't but this is just too good."

"What have you heard, Sir?" Riza questioned trying to keep her smirk from bursting into a smile.

"I heard that this bastard of a Colonel isn't the Grand Womanizer of Central that everyone thinks he is."

"Is that all?" Roy asked. "That's not news, really."

"No, there's more," Ed assured. "Although this isn't real news either. Not to me anyway."

"Spit it out, Fullmetal!" Roy commanded in that I'm-Your-Commanding-Officer-and-You'd-Better-Respect-Me tone.

"Apparently," Edward paused for dramatic effect, earning a venomous glare from Mustang. "These days, you're partial to-."

"Bratty shrimps with long blond hair." Riza interrupted, finishing the young alchemist's sentence.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLIN' SO TINY HE COULD BE CRUSHED BY AN ANT?" Ed shrieked, temper getting the better of him.

"Calm down, Ed. You know no one said any of that." Riza soothed.

A smile tugged at Roy Mustang's lips. "What can I say? Metal makes me tingly." The smile widened at Ed's crimson blush.

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To Be Continued!