Yet another Tratie one shot, I might turn this into a multichapter fic if anyone expresses some intrest...

"That stupid, useless, infuriating, pig-headed, thick, stupid boy" sixteen year old Katie Gardner yelled angrily as she stormed into Demeter Cabin and sat down on her bunk. Her twin sister Miranda was right behind her, obviously trying very hard not to laugh. Their other half siblings all stopped what they were doing to watch their eldest sister warily, preparing themselves for 'the rant'.

Well apart from one exception, fourteen year old Philippa Weed never missed any opportunity to wind Katie up. "You said stupid twice" she pointed out calmly, smirking down at Katie from a top bunk.

Miranda scowled at Philippa warningly as below twelve year old Emily Evergreen kicked her mattress. Philippa rolled her eyes "Just trying to lighten the mood...so how is Travis?"

On the other side of the cabin the three boys groaned simultaneously as Katie sprung up "Him and his stupid brother..."

"There are other insulting words than stupid you know Katie" Philippa interjected; smirking as Katie's reddening face went up a shade.

"Philippa, just shut up" fifteen year old Derrick Farrow said firmly, earning several nods from the rest of the cabin.

"Who's gonna make me Lanky?" Philippa retorted before turning back to Katie "So what did Tweedledumb and Tweedledumber do?"

"They've only gone and given all the pegasai laxatives and then gone riding the around camp" Katie fumed, not noticing the snigger going round the cabin or that Emily had her fist in her mouth to try and stop herself laughing "It's going to take weeks and to clear up and loads of the strawberry fields have been splattered and no one else is going to help us with those!"

Philippa was one of the few to have kept a straight face and calmly asked "And did you say thank you?"

The younger ones laughed uneasily as the older ones looked on in horror at Katie's expression "Why in Hades should I have said thank you?"

Philippa tutted disapprovingly "All that effort they put into putting lovely manure on the fields for us and you couldn't even say thank you, now come on Katie."

Most of the cabin laughed at that as Katie struggled for a comeback "Well...it's not like they meant to be helpful!"

Miranda put her arm around her sister jokingly "Now now Kate remember what Dad always says, a favour's a favour if you like it or not"

Katie pulled away "Oh shut up" she rummaged in her drawer, pulled out some pyjamas and flounced off into the bathroom.

Derrick turned on Philippa "What did you do that for?"

Philippa looked at him irritably "Amusement, and as you bleeding laughed you can get off your Trojan horse you..."

"Guys..." Miranda said wearily "Cut it out already, lights out in five minutes"

"What about my story?"Eight year old Jasmine Pip asked in horror "Andy you know I can't get to sleep without my story..."

"I don't need a story" her twin brother Callum announced proudly "You're such a baby Jazz"

"She's not the one who wets the bed" muttered Emily's twin brother Jonathan causing Callum to lunge at him with a pillow.

"Take that back" Callum yelled indignantly as he whacked his brother with a pillow repeatedly.

"Hey! Get off me you little brat" Jonathan tried to defend himself without seriously hurting his little brother. This led to a triumphant Callum and most of the rest of the cabin laughing at poor Jonathan.

Derrick was laughing especially hard "How can you lose to him, he's younger than you!"

Philippa climbed nimbly down to floor level and glanced at Derrick coolly "I'm younger than you and a girl, what's your excuse?"

She walked over and firmly detached the struggling Callum from Jonathan and pushed him towards his own bed with more force than was strictly necessary. Of course Katie picked this moment to come out of the bathroom "Philippa!"

"What?" Philippa asked indignantly "What have I done now?"

"Callum attacked Jonathan and Philippa spilt them up" Emily said loyally "She wasn't doing anything wrong"

Katie turned to ask Miranda what had happened, only to find that she'd stolen the bathroom "Hey! I wasn't finished in there"

Derrick's twin Poppy Farrow sighed as Katie hammered on the door "Come on guys, I'm tired

"What about my story?" Jasmine demanded again "We can't turn the lights out until I've had my story"

Katie looked at Jasmine wearily "Sorry Jazz but I'm a bit tired to tell you a story tonight...I'll tell you two tomorrow"

"I want my story now" Jasmine played her trump card "Daddy always reads us a story doesn't he Callum?"

"Yeah" Callum admitted "But you always make him read a boring fairytale with some dopey princess in"

"I'll tell you a story Jazz" Philippa offered.

The entire cabin looked at her in amazement before laughing. "You, telling bedtime stories?" Derrick laughed "You'll deliberately give them nightmares"

Philippa hurled a pillow at him "No I won't"

Jasmine looked up at her warily "You mean it?"

"Anything to help Katie out" Philippa asked sweetly, gesturing for Jasmine to climb up next to her.

Katie opened her mouth to argue, convinced that there was no way in Hades that Philippa would ever do anything just to be nice. But then again as long as she listened to make sure there was nothing too bad "What kind of a story are you going to tell?" she asked suspiciously.

Philippa shrugged "Depends on whether Callum's too old for bedtime stories or not"

Callum leapt up "I'm not. I'm not. Can I sit on the top bunk too?"

"NO" Katie and Derrick said at once. Jasmine stuck her tongue out at her brother but her victory was short lived "You too Jasmine, get in your own bed" Katie said firmly.

Miranda came out of the bathroom "Toilet's free Katie"

Katie shook her head, perching on her bed "I think I'm going to listen to Philippa's story"

"Great" Philippa arranged her pillow against the wall so she could face all her siblings "Once upon a time..."

"This isn't going to be an icky fairytale is it?" Callum asked warily.

"Of course it's not" Philippa glared at him "Now shut up and listen"

"Once upon a time there were twelve magical kingdom's all ruled over by a great and powerful King or Queen. One of these great Queens's had nine children; Princess Kathryn, Princess Andrina, Prince Gollum..."

"Thanks" Derrick muttered before being shushed by Miranda who was grinning.

"Princess Poppilia, Princess Philiteria, Prince Jonathus, Princess Emilyra, Prince Calmatron and the youngest Princess who was called Jasaminda"

"That's like my name" Jasmine squealed "What did Princess Jasaminda look like?"

"Was she ugly?" asked Callum hopefully "Did she have a really big nose?"

"Stop being nasty Callum" Katie said warningly "Go on Philiteria"

"Well the nine royal siblings of...err Haverstion had to go to a special school for royalty with the princes and princesses from the other lands. There was the wise Princess Bethanna and Prince Percyarion from err, Seaworld" This sent Miranda into hysterics and Philippa had to wait until everyone was quiet again.

"Anyway it was at this school that Princess Kathryn met Prince Travur" Philippa paused for suspense, ignoring Katie's warning glare. "Princess Kathryn hated Travur with a passion; while the other royals would laugh at his daring exploits she would just glare at him and make the Marge Simpson noise..."

"I do not make the Marge Simpson noise" Katie insisted angrily.

"I never said you did" Philippa said innocently "But yeah, Princess Kathryn hated Prince Travur and tried to get him into trouble at every opportunity..."

Poppy piped up "Did she snitch on him when he and his hotter brother threw a golden Mango into the dormitory of the children of Queen Aphrodite?" Katie looked outraged at this but Philippa grinned

Philippa nodded "Well it was never proved but yes there was definitely a suspicion."

"I think this story's gone far..." Katie began but the majority of her younger siblings shouted her down.

"Did any of the Princesses find their true love?" Jasmine asked excitedly "Did loads of the other Princes fight over them? Did Jasaminda have to kiss a frog?"

Callum pouted "You promised you wouldn't make this a fairy tale..."

"It isn't" Philippa reassured him "Only Prince Gollum was dating anyone" She shot a smug look at Derrick "and the common hope was that Princess Kaylia would soon come to her senses"

"Anyway, one day the nine royals were making their way into the school canteen when Prince Connorion, who was the younger brother of Prince Travur, came up to Princess Kathryn and handed her a secret note." Philippa paused for dramatic effect as Katie rounded on Miranda.

"You promised you wouldn't say anything?" Katie yelled.

Miranda held her hands up defensively "She saw the whole thing, what was I supposed to do?"

"What thing? What did she see?" Poppy demanded, all traces of tiredness gone "Did Connor really give you a note?"

Derrick smiled weakly "No way, he didn't, did he Katie?"

Katie looked from one scandalised face to the next before glaring at Philippa "You can't have read that note...It's not possible..."

Jonathan and Emily grinned simultaneously "So you're admitting that there actually was a note?"

Jasmine didn't care about this real life discovery, she was much more interested in Princess Kathryn "Come on Pippa, tell the story"

"Kathryn unfurled the parchment and stupidly read aloud to her trusted sister Andrina."Philippa adopted a deeper lovesick voice "Princess Kathryn I know we've had our differences in the past but..."

"You eavesdropping little harpy" Katie lunged for Philippa "I'm going to kill you"

Miranda held back her twin "I think that's enough story for one night, Philippa be quiet"

Philippa drew up her legs warily "Does no one in this cabin have a sense of humour?"

"How would you like it if we started pairing you up with Nico di Angelo?" demanded Derrick.

Philippa scowled at him "I't prove that you were a limp delusional piece of celery"

Katie had calmed down sufficiently to walk over to the light switch "Everybody under the covers and eyes shut in three, two...one"

She flicked the lights off before climbing into her own bed "Goodnight everybody"

Her siblings all mumbled their own goodnights and the room and finally gone silent when Callum sat up in bed "Tomorrow can we have a story about robots?"