A/N: I LIVE! Sorry I've been gone so long, I hit writers block. But I'm back baby!
Chapter 20: Diamonds are a girl's best friend.
...Don't okay? Just...just don't.
"Alright, people." Prussia growled, donned once again in his Prussian blue military uniform. "This is war, and we need a plan of attack." Once of his soldiers raised their hands. "Yes?"
"This is stupid." Shima-ko said bluntly. His twin sister nodded in agreement, eating some weird dish that was unnameable to Prussia. All he knew was that it had poi on it.
"Is this what you guys do?" Mini Toni asked. "'Cuz I'm not joining your club-"
"League"
"-if it is. What are you even doing?" Prussia slammed his free fist (the other was holding a riding crop that he was using for a pointer) on his white board. "Dammit people! This is serious! That aristocratic bastard has done something to infect my kid with his Austrian doucheness! He has to pay!" The club members, and California, who was observing the meeting, glanced at each other.
"Well, it's kind of the same right?" Texas said uncertainly. "I mean, I'm sure Austria's pissed, or at the very least disgusted by the fact that the one part of America that's Austrian is truly Prussian at heart." Prussia blinked at him and scowled. "No. He MUST pay."
"Can't we just work on fixing your terrible love life with Canada?" Vermont asked. California perked up considerably. "I second that motion!" She chirped. Texas's eye twitched.
"My love life isn't terrible!" Prussia protested. They stared at him, silently asking him to come out of denial. "It's not!"
"When was the last time you had sex?" Prussia blushed. "That doesn't matter!"
"Yeah." Vermont said solemnly. "Yeah it does." Prussia blanched.
"Yeah, let's just get California to sleep with him and send Prussia into a jealous rage like with Spain and Romano." Hawaii suggested. California pouted. "Hey! I don't want to sleep with Canada! Stop making me seem so slutty! I'm not slutty!"
"Yeah, she's not slutty." Texas agreed grudgingly. "She's just really oblivious with a kink for Asian guys."
"HEY!"
At the world meeting, Germany was stressed. First, he had to lock Prussia in the basement to prevent him from coming to this meeting and attacking Austria with a paintball gun, and now everyone was talking and he couldn't get anyone to get started because his throat was sore from yelling at Prussia to not attack Austria with the goddamn paintball gun.
Germany turned to America. "Are we going to start the meeting?" America wasn't very focused or anything, but he knew at least how to get people to start the dang things. America shrugged. Germany sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers. "I hate my life. I hate everyone and everything in it, goddammit."
America (metaphorically) sweatdropped.
"Um-"
"Mother~! Hello!" America turned, missing the look of absolute terror on Germany's face. America smiled. "Hey, Jean!" He waved.
You see, the reason Germany, and several other nations found this state particularly terrifying of was a simple reason.
The kid looked like France.
A LOT like France.
Like, if France de-aged about 9 years and lost the beard, they'd be practically identical, like France.
Austria nearly screamed. Nearly.
He did, however, let out a very girly squeaking noise.
Hungary readied her frying pan of DOOM (patent pending).
Mini France beamed.
"Mother! How are ya?" Mini France asked cheerfully, with an accent southern tinged with something else that could have been French or Spanish. "I'm good! You just missed Utah, though." Mini France pouted teasingly. "Aw shucks! That's a shame." Mini France grabbed America's hands and spun them in a circle happily. "I just came from Big Sister's house! Me and West are gonna stay over there tonight! Slumber party~" Mini France said cheerfully. America laughed. "I still think it's amazing that you and Arthur-" England looked over his shoulder from the 'Empire Emo Corner' and blanched at the sight of the little France with America. "-are such good friends!"
"Best friends." Mini France corrected happily, tucking some silky blonde (French) hair behind his ear, revealing four ear piercings. One conventional one in the earlobe, the renaming three through the shell of his ear. All of the earrings were diamonds.
America tsked, fingering the pierced ear. "Jean, really? Another one?" 'Jean' huffed. "They're natural, Mother. And diamonds are a girl's best friend."
"...You're a man, Jean. I would know."
Jean stamped his foot lightly. "Moooottttthhhheeeerrr." He whined. America shook his head smiling exasperatedly. "If you didn't wear them, you wouldn't be teased for them. Just saying." The teenager huffed. "They just can't understand my natural beauty."
"Um..." By this point, England was facing them fully (still crouched in the Emo Corner), seething. He turned to France. "I," he hissed in his scariest, most bloodthirsty, British Empire pirate voice, "am going to kill you, you son of a bitch." France turned. "What did I do?" England, grabbed the bastard's (well, England thought he was a bastard) face and forcibly turned it towards America. France blinked. "Oh. So it's not what I did, but who I did." England's hand twitched and began a steady path towards France's throat.
"Besides, whenever the others tease me, I just hang out at my caves for some good ol' happy time. Oh, you're France!" Jean bounded over to the Emo Corner, either ignoring or not sensing the hate waves radiating from the English nation. He was probably just ignoring it. He could actually sense the mood. Acknowledging it just wasn't fun.
"Hi! I'm Jean Bonnefoy, but ya can call me Arkansas if ya want!" Arkansas said cheerfully, pulling France up and giving him a (rather one sided) hug.
"...Okay." France didn't know what else to say in that situation. He felt like it was appropriate. Arkansas smiled, and the nations began to be more at ease seeing the two side by side. It was strange, but with his youth and lack of beard, Arkansas looked innocent and sweet. It was a weird but pleasant change seeing France's handsome face not creepy, perverted and vaguely stalkerish.
"And you're England!" England's eyebrow twitched. "Yes."
It would've been friendly, if the yes hadn't come out strangled and sounded like a demon's hissing from Hell.
"...Your eyes are very pretty."
"PISS OFF-what?" England blinked. "...WHAT?" Arkansas smiled. "Your eyes. They're pretty."
"...Huh?" England sputtered flabbergasted. Arkansas spun on his heels, hands clasped together over his heart, with hearts in his eyes and sparkles twinkling around him. "Oh, they remind me of my darling Virginia's eyes~" Arkansas swooned.
The irritation was back. "...WHAT." England snarled, because HELL NO. France looked intrigued.
"The emeralds that consist of my love's eyes can only be matched from the precious gems found in the deepest portions of the Earth," Arkansas continued obliviously, too focused on his lovestruck rant about the only daughter of England that actually liked him, "her beautiful sun kissed wheat hair can be compared to the sensual rolling wheat fields of the American prairie. Her radiant flawless skin has had the sun's breath touch her with the adoring caress of a smitten lover! Her voice is even more seductive and alluring that the vocals of my lovely Amy Lee! A slim and elegant body, perfect in every way! Ah~ such loveliness, I desire to make her all mine!"
During this, all male nations began to back away, seeing a disturbing resemblance to France.
However, all female nations sighed, realizing, in that strange way that men usually couldn't, that this boy was clearly absolutely besotted with the girl he described in a way that was not perverted or creepy, but rather sweet and romantic.
"So romantic!"
"How sweet~"
"That Virginia girl's so lucky to have someone so devoted!"
"If a boy said that to me, I definitely let him occupy my vital regions, if you know what I mean~"
France wiped away a imaginary tear of joy and sniffed. "Mon fils (My son)...I'm so proud."
England looked ready to commit a horrible, bloody homicide.
His eyes were narrowed into green slivers, his fists were clenched, and his teeth gnashed together while his body was surrounded by a black aura of death. This brat...wanted Virginia. His little girl? Hell no! England would rather die than see spawn of the frog touch his little princess.
"Over my dead body!" England exploded, the black death(ly) aura surrounding him shooting outwards sporadically in attempt to strangle the French son of America. Arkansas looked over, coming down from his Virginia fantasy high. Arkansas cocked his head innocently. "If that's what it takes to be with her, than I'll gladly do so ya hear?"
The female nations swooned.
France cried (manly?) tears of pride. "So -sniff- learned -sniff- and experienced in the art of love!"
England wished with all his heart and soul that guns were allowed into the UN building.
Lightbulb!
"SWITZERLAND!" England roared to the surprised and protective neutral nation (that was currently shielding Lichtenstein from Arkansas with his entire body). "LEND ME ONE OF YOUR GUNS!" America's mouth dropped open.
"ENGLAND! YOU CAN'T SHOOT MY KID!"
"DAMN STRAIGHT I WILL, IF IT MEANS PROTECTING OUR DAUGHTER'S VITAL REGIONS!"
"YOU'RE NOT SHOOTING JEAN!"
"OUI! NO SHOOTING MY WELL-LEARNED-IN-THE-ART-OF-AMOUR SON!"
Arkansas began to inch towards the exit once they began yelling about shooting him. He gave a brief wave and bow to the ladies in the room (he was a Southern man after all) and slipped silently out the door. He breathed in relief and then sighed heavily.
He began composing a text message.
AR-kan-Saw25: My darling, Im afraid ur dad doesnt approve of me.
PrincessOfTheSEA11: ...Dammit.
A/N: Arkansas everybody!
I just love irony with these guys; pairing up the kids of rivaling nations is like candy to me.
Arkansas; he's very loyal and stubborn to his beliefs, to the point where sometimes he just won't let go when he really should. He's been in love with Virginia since he first laid eyes on her, proclaiming (on one knee) that he would marry her when they grew up.
She kneed him in the stomach.
He found this inspiring.
During the Civil War, he took her side and provided emotional support when West left. This and a couple more decades of begging convinced her to go out with him. While she constantly threatens to leave him, they both know she's bluffing. However, since he and West Virginia are bros (Yes. They're BFFs/Bros), he has to act as the peacemaker sometimes.
He greatly admires his Big Sister Louisiana. They're neighbors. Louisiana is W. Virginia's other BFF. She used to be kinda wary of him, but after they were forced to go to Southhampton together on business and unfortunately won two ticket to the maiden voyage of the ship Titanic and nearly died, they really bonded.
They also, much to their horror, inspired the 1997 James Cameron movie when they bumped into him at a cafe.
Arkansas has a mixed French and Spanish background, to the point where France and Spain have kinda bitch fought over him. During the time when he was their territory, they had a drinking contest over some forts. Neither really remember the outcome, so said drinking match was totally pointless.
Arkansas is pronouced Ar-Kan-saw, which is his screen name. It's actually against Arkansas law to pronounce Arkansas any other way but Ar-kan-saw. He's the 25th state. Diamonds are only mined in Arkansas (in the US) leading to the nickname the natural state. Evanescence's singer, Amy Lee, is from Arkansas.
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